Episode Report Card Monty Ashley: A+ | 4 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Thunk!
By Monty Ashley | Season 1 | Episode 6 | Aired on 05.22.2011
Robb gets hold of the woman, but the other thug has a knife to Bran's throat. He makes Robb drop his sword. Then there's a WHOOSH and that thug has been transfixed by an arrow through his chest. Thanks, Theon! Bran claims to be all right, although that left wound he can't feel looks pretty nasty. Robb is angry at Theon for shooting that thug, because what if he's hit Bran? Theon dismisses that possibility and says that if he hadn't done something, the thug would have cut Bran's throat and killed Robb. He's probably right, too. The lady-thug begs for her life and promises to be a good and faithful servant if Robb won't kill her. He accepts!Yikes! Tyrion rolls over in his sleep, but he's still in that cell that opens up into the cliff face, so his arm is dangling down over oblivion. He wakes up with a start and goes in as far from the ledge as he can get. It's not that far. He pounds on the door and shouts for his guard. It's the same guard as before, still ostentatiously stereotypical in his prison-guard-ness. You know the sort. Fat. Bald. Might have a pet Rancor. Tyrion asks the guard how he'd like to be rich, but the guard points out that Tyrion doesn't appear to have any gold in his pockets. Tyrion downshifts a bit and says that he doesn't have the money on him. The guard has not yet achieved Object Permanence and tells him to fuck off. Nice try, Tyrion.
Syrio tosses a sword to Arya, who catches it. See? She's clearly improved since her first lesson. Now as long as she only fights people who initiate combat by tossing swords to their enemies, she'll do just fine. She's a little whiny and doesn't want to practice today, because Jory is dead and her father is hurt. Syrio thinks that this makes it the perfect time to practice, because that's how personal trainers think. They're not big on excuses. His theory is that most swordfights take place when you're having some kind of personal issue going on. You're rarely going to be in a calm, centered place when some burly galoot is trying to kill you with a sword. And given that, it makes sense to get in some fencing practice while your life is collapsing around you. I guess. So they spar for a bit. Syrio's fighting style involves a lot of whirling around. Arya admits that she prays, and Syrio answers, "There is only one god and his name is death And there is only one thing we say to death. Not today." Very inspirational. They continue to fight.
Daenerys's face is all smeared with blood and she's chomping down on what appears to be an enormous heart. A horse heart, of course, because that's the kind of hearts the Dothraki tend to have lying around. She's on a platform in the middle of a large tent while everyone stands around the perimeter. This is what passes for entertainment around here? Viserys thinks she's going to throw it back up. Man, you'd think I'd be free of the eating challenges when I'm not recapping a reality show. All the people watching are chanting at her. I don't know what they're saying, but I assume it's Dothraki for "EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT!" As she chews into it and gets even bloodier, she stares into Khal Drogo's eyes. One lady is singing something, which Jorah translates for Viserys as beginning, "The prince is riding. I have heard the thunder of his hooves." Viserys is starting to get nervous about all this adulation his sister and unborn nephew are getting and he sulkily says that the kid won't be a real Targaryen: "He won't be a real Dragon."
Daenerys finishes her heart and drops to all fours. The chanting stops while everyone waits to see if she's going to vomit the heart back up. She doesn't, which is good. I'm just thinking about it from the standpoint of potential grossness. I'm not entirely up for the prospect of watching fountains of bloody vomit, you know? Now the song is about the Stallion who Mounts the World, which is a pretty fancy title to give a kid who hasn't even been born yet. Daenerys announces that the child's name will be "Rhaego," which I guess I should point out is a combination of Rhaegar and Drogo. The crows starts chanting, "Rhaego! Rhaego!" Viserys realizes that the Dothraki love Daenerys. They do! And that's at least partially because she looks great with blood smeared all over her face. Jorah muses, "She truly is a queen today." But when he looks around, Viserys has left the tent. He pulled that move where you run away the moment someone turns away. Batman is always doing that.
We're still with Viserys as he opens the box that holds Daenerys's eggs. Her dragon eggs, I mean. Although I guess there's some symbolism going on here, too. He puts one of the eggs in his bag and Jorah enters the tent behind him. Viserys is wearing a sword, which I didn't notice until Jorah reminds him that wearing a sword is forbidden in Vaes Dothrak. Viserys takes all three of the eggs, explaining that the first one is for a ship, the second one is for an army, and the third one is for a really, really big army. These eggs are pretty valuable, then. I believe that's the message we're supposed to take from this. Viserys whines about how he's the last heir of a mighty bloodline but no one's ever loved him the way the Dothraki love Daenerys. Jorah does not agree with Viserys that he has a right to take things from Daenerys, so he stands in the way of Viserys leaving the tent. Viserys offers to let Jorah have Daenerys, but that doesn't work. Viserys tries to appeal to Jorah's loyalty, but Jorah, of course, is no longer loyal to Viserys. Like anyone would be. Viserys drops the eggs and leaves in a snit.
Tyrion shouts for his guard again. He might be calling him "Mort." Let's assume that he is, because the guard does have kind of a "Mort" quality to him. Mort comes out and this time Tyrion takes the time to explain that possession is an abstract concept. Even though he doesn't currently have his purse, that doesn't mean that he doesn't "have" one. That doesn't work, so he tries Mort out on proverbs. There's a phrase, "Rich as a Lannister," and Tyrion carefully walks Mort through the steps by which he, Tyrion Lannister, son of Tywin Lannister, is one of the Lannisters that people are said to be "rich as." All he wants is for Mort to carry a message to Lady Arryn. And Lannisters, as we have been told a million times, always pay their debts. Mort is willing to listen to the message, which I think Tyrion should keep extremely short. "Tell her I wish to confess my crimes."