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First things first: Ned is definitely dead. We see his head up on a pike, and there's no body attached to it. So if you were trying to hold on to a tiny bit of hope there, forget it.
So first we have to deal with the fallout. Sansa is still engaged to King Joffrey, who shows how caring and thoughtful he is by promising never to hit her. He has large, burly knights to do that for him. Yoren manages to get Arya out of the city, but now she's disguised as a boy and is in the company of the kind of seedy jerk who's been plucked out of the dungeons to go serve at The Wall. Oh, and that one bastard of Robert's who was an armorer's apprentice.
Up north, Bran and Rickon have a prophetic dream about Ned's death. Although they might have had it after he died, which is kind of cheating. It's less prophetic that way. And at The Wall, Jon Snow deserts his new brothers. Then he comes back to his new brothers. It was dramatic at the time, I promise.
In the central war, Robb Stark's advisors decide to name him "The King in the North" on the theory that maybe they can just cut themselves off from the Seven Kingdoms entirely. Robb likes this plan fine, except that he also wants to kill Joffrey and Cersei and everyone else even a little responsible for killing Ned. And Tywin Lannister knows that, so he sends Tyrion down to King's Landing to be his stand-in as Hand of the King. He's supposed to make Joffrey be a little more sensible and less bloodthirsty, I think.
Meanwhile, Daenerys's baby was born a monster. A dead monster, because apparently its life was taken to keep Khal Drogo alive. But he's in some sort of magic-induced coma, so Dany smothers him with a pillow. Then she has a large pyre built, Drogo and her dragon eggs placed on top of it, and the witch tied to it. Then she walks into the flames. And the day, among the ashes, all her clothes have been burned off, but she's okay. And she's got three bouncing baby dragons to keep her company!
Want more? The full recap starts right below!The season finale? Already? That seemed like it just flew by, didn't it? Well, let's get to it. The opening credits don't have The Twins or The Eyrie or any of those other, less important places. Just the basics: King's Landing, Winterfell, The Wall, and Vaes Dothrak. Even though a lot of the action is taking place outside of the actual cities. I guess that field the Lannisters are camped in doesn't have a name. Although I guess if something sufficiently horrific happens there, it might get a name later. I've just noticed that the official "Game of Thrones" logo has a stag (House Baratheon), a wolf (House Stark), a dragon (House Targaryen), and a lion (House Lannister) sticking out of it. Even though there are more Baratheons than Targaryens around, the stag still feels odd to me. I guess it's because Renly and Stannis are both offstage and Joffrey doesn't really feel like a Baratheon, even to the people in the show who don't know he's 100% Lannister. Anyway, there you go. The opening credits, won't you?
The tip of a sword drips with blood. Ned Stark's blood. Because they cut his head off in the last episode, remember? Just to make sure, his head is picked up off the ground and shown to the crowd. Down in the crowd, Yoren makes Arya look at him and not the head. And he calls Arya "boy" over and over. Like this: "You'll be coming with me, boy. And you'll be keeping your mouth shut." Meanwhile, up on the royal dais, Sansa faints. I want to make fun of her for fainting, because it's the sort of thing that frail, royal ladies are always doing. But her father did just get decapitated a few feet from her, so I'm going to allow it.
Yoren drags Arya into a back corridor. It's convenient that it's empty, but I guess everyone's still out in the main square in case there's more to the show. Maybe the executioner is going to do a ventriloquist act with Ned's head. Or something else; I don't know. My point is that although the primary entertainment is over, everyone's still watching, enthralled. Joffrey's probably making a speech about traitors or something. Yoren keeps calling Arya "boy" and she keeps protesting that she's not a boy. I guess this is why they had those scenes where people didn't realize she was a girl, although I personally never thought she looked particularly boy-like. Yoren tells her she's clearly not a smart boy and pulls out a knife. He doesn't cut her throat with it; he just cuts her hair off. Then he tells her, "North, boy. We're going north." Remember, Yoren was down in King's Landing looking for people to take back to The Wall.
Bran's having that dream again. There's the archery practice, there's the crow, there's Bran walking after it. As he does so, he narrates what he's doing, which is a little strange. I mean, this is at least the third time we've seen this, so we don't really need him to explain what's happening. So he follows the three-eyed crow into the crypt, where he sees his father. We cut back to reality, in which the crazy lady is carrying Bran around on her shoulders. He wants to go into the crypt to check things out, but she thinks that's a bad idea. Bran's argument is that if his father isn't there, it's basically just a hole with dead things in it. And anyway, she's from north of The Wall, so she's supposed to be okay with spooky nonsense like that. He eventually shames her into it by pointing out that he, a crippled boy, isn't afraid to go in there.
As she carries him into the crypt, he narrates the tombs they pass. There's his grandfather Rickard, who was killed by Aerys Targaryen. And his aunt Lyanna, who was supposed to marry Robert Baratheon but got kidnapped by Rhaegar Targaryen. He provides some pleasantly specific backstory on what happened before the show started: "Robert started a war to win her back. He killed Rhaegar, but she died anyway." And then they get to the spot reserved for Eddard Stark, and the lady seems quite relieved to find it empty. And then there's a wolf attack! Rickon's wolf "Shaggydog" roars out of the darkness, but stops short of mauling her to death. She complains that it's supposed to be in chains, but Rickon dismisses that. Rickon's also down in the crypts because he saw his father down there in a dream. Huh. There's a coincidence! Bran is carried back up to ground level. As the lady tells him it's only natural to have dreams about one's father, Maester Luwin brings Bran a note. So what's your rational explanation now, Crazy Lady?
Catelyn walks through the Stark encampment. I think it's interesting that I can recognize her just from the way she walks. And the weird horizontal braid across the back of her head. Frankly, with most shows, I probably can't identify the backs of people's heads. She's walking solemnly, but I had to see her face to determine that. Everyone is watching her pass and making a big point of not getting in her way. Once she reaches the relatively unpopulated woods, she allows herself to break down. So I guess she's heard about Ned. And now she has to deal with Robb, who is furiously hacking at a tree with his sword. I don't think that's good for the edge. It seems more like a job for an axe. And Catelyn agrees with me, which pleases me more than it should: "You've ruined your sword." He should get some of that Valyrian steel I've been hearing so much about. Now that he's been distracted from his urgent tree-killing, he has a new agenda to run past his mother: "I'll kill 'em all. Every one of them." That's a little light on details, but at least he's got a goal, right? And I'm sure the trees will be glad to know he's going to direct his rage somewhere else. Cat says that the Lannisters have Arya and Sansa, and getting them back is her first priority. Priority Number Two? Killing them all.
Ah, King's Landing. Let's check in on King Joffrey, who's holding court. A minstrel sings a cheerful song. At first I was impressed that Joffrey's first order of business was auditioning minstrels, because that's the sort of thing a lot of young kings forget to do. They inherit the throne and start cutting heads off without a thought for the important business of hiring somebody to wear motley and recite ancient puns. But it turns out that Joffrey is just like everyone else; he's only listening to the minstrel because he sang an insulting song in a tavern. The primary element is how Robert, who was very fat, was killed by a boar, which was also fat. There are also references to Cersei: "The lion ripped his balls off aaaaand the boar did all the rest." It's that sort of thing. There was only one verse, but I have to assume that legions of filkers are elaborating on the theme and getting full-length versions ready for the summer convention season.
When the song is done, Joffrey claps sarcastically and claims to have found it "very amusing." The minstrel is pretty nervous at this point and promises that he'll never, ever sing that song again. Joffrey asks whether he'd prefer to keep his fingers or his tongue. Tough call. When the minstrel doesn't have an answer right away, Joffrey muses about just cutting his throat. That made his mind up: "Every man needs hands, your grace..." So! Tongue it is! And that means it's time for the red-hot pincers. Joffrey's goon only has regular pincers at the moment, but he also has a roaring fire, so they should be red hot pretty soon. For the rest of the scene, the minstrel's tongue is going to be ripped out in the background. But it's blurry, so that makes it funny!
So while that goes on, Joffrey announces that he's done for the day. He hands off the rest of the day's docket to Cersei and tells Sansa she looks pretty. When she thanks him, she calls him "My Lord," but it's supposed to be "Your Grace" now that he's king. You know, there's a lot wrong with Sansa, but I'm not sure I buy that she'd forget the right honorific to use. She's exactly the sort of person who stays up all night practicing the correct way to introduce a Monsignor to an Archduke. Or whatever the equivalents are in Westeros. Joffrey tells her to come with him, and she sulks. Then the Hound looms a
t her and tells her to do what Joffrey says. So she follows him.
Joffrey, Sansa, and an array of goons stroll through King's Landing. Here's Joffrey's idea of small talk: "As soon as you've had your blood, I'll put a son in you." Aside from what that tells you about our budding young sociopath, it's worth noting that Sansa is still quite young. So I guess she should be cut a little slack. A little. Joffrey leads Sansa onto a high bridge to show off his new addition to the Red Keep: heads on pikes! Specifically, Eddard Stark's head on a pike. Sansa cannot maintain her feigned indifference and cries out that he promised he'd be merciful to Ned. Joffrey's idea of mercy is "a quick execution" as opposed to boiling oil or whatever other torture implements they had lying around. That throne looks like it could probably be used for something nasty. Sansa hasn't looked at her father's head, but Joffrey orders her to. So she stares blankly at it for a bit before asking how long she has to do it. The answer is, "As long as it pleases me," which is a little vague. I think she's implicitly accepting that he's up to how long she has to watch.
He changes the subject to the head of Septa Mordane. So she did, in fact, die. Good to know! Sansa still won't react, so Joffrey ups the ante and says that he'll bring her Robb's head. She looks him in the eye and answers, "Or maybe he'll give me yours." Joffrey is instantly furious at being defied, so I don't know what he was hoping for. He tells her that his mother has told him that a king should never hit his lady, which is an understandable position for Cersei to hold, when you think about it. Because of that time that Robert hit her. That is the incident to which I refer. Anyway, because Joffrey is a nasty piece of work, he has one of his goons smack Sansa across the face. It draws blood. She looks down at the long drop off the bridge and then walks toward Joffrey with that evil look that Stanley Kubrick was so fond of. But before she can reach him and push him off the bridge to a richly deserved death by plummeting, the Hound stops her under the guise of giving her a hanky to wipe the blood off her face. Joffrey leaves and the Hound recommends that Sansa do what Joffrey wants. He also thinks she should keep the hanky, because she's going to be getting smacked in the face by an endless succession of goons from now on. Sansa looks at Ned's head again.
Robb is having a war council. Things are moving pretty quickly and they have to decide what their actual goal is. Because he's Ned Stark's boy, he doesn't want to go against what he considers the correct line of succession, which means he technically considers Joffrey to be the legitimate ruler. So he can't, in good conscience, ally himself with Renly Baratheon, who's behind Stannis in the line of succession. And even Stannis isn't legitimate enough for him, because he doesn't know about the Lannister Twincest. His advisors don't disagree, exactly, but it's obvious that swearing allegiance to Joffrey isn't an option either. The Greatjon stands and announces that the Baratheons as a family are nothing to him. They're southern and their gods are wrong. And anyway, it was the dragons that his family bowed to. He waves an arm toward Robb: "There sits the only king I mean to bow my knee to. The King in the North!" Robb stands. Someone announces, "I'll have peace on those terms. They can keep their red castle. And their iron chair." Theon also vows to follow Robb. "The King in the North" is the chant. So now Robb's a king, too? I guess they're splitting off from the rest of the kingdoms, although they still have that sidequest of Killing 'Em All. Oh! I just realized that parallels the Mad King's last words of "Burn them all." I guess you can do something with that. Although this show has so many interconnected things that it's probably foolish to call something out as a specific piece of foreshadowing.
Catelyn bullies her way past some guards so she can talk to Jaime Lannister. They've got a pretty nice prison set up here. Considering everyone else is working in tents, I'm surprised they bothered to put up actual bars for the cells. Jaime isn't inside anything, though. He's just tied to a tree or something. He tells Catelyn she looks lovely and asks if she's lonely, adding, "I'm not at my best, but I think I can be of service." She cracks him across the face with a rock. He doesn't look too good at this point, but manages to claim that he likes a violent woman. Catelyn threatens to cut off his head and send it to his sister. He says he doesn't fear death, and he actually sounds pretty sincere. As sincere as he ever sounds, anyway. He takes a shot at needling Catelyn, asking where her husband's gods were when his head was being cut off. Suddenly he wants to know, if the gods are so powerful, why is there injustice in the world? Catelyn says it's because of men like Jaime. His answer is awesome: "There are no men like me. Only me." That nearly justifies the dopey "Why is there evil?" question. Anyway, about Bran. Jaime is willing to admit that he pushed him out the window, but the only reason he's willing to give is that he hoped the fall would kill him. When Catelyn pushes him on that, he tells her to get some sleep, because it's going to be a long war. She drops the rock and turns to leave. And then she actually leaves! Sorry, I'm just used to shows where people are always stopped just before they get out of the room. That happened two or three times per scene on The Cape. But on this show, even a snarky jerk like Jaime is happy to let someone leave when the discussion's over.
And now, Cersei and a naked Lancel Lannister. Lancel? I guess when Jaime's not around, she just goes with what's available. I guess sex with your cousin is less wrong than sex with your twin, but I still can't say I approve. For one thing, he's clearly a dope. He wants to talk about how exciting the war is, but she tells him to shut his pretty mouth and get back into bed. I guess it's good that she's keeping herself occupied.
The Lannisters are also having a war council. It seems like these people have three councils for every actual battle. Tywin is unhappy about Jaime having been taken, which seems pretty reasonable. Tyrion is unable to resist snarking about how Robb is apparently less green than they'd hoped. One of Tywin's advisors thinks they should consider suing for peace with Robb so they can concentrate on whatever it is that Renly and Stannis are doing. Tyrion smashes his cup on the floor so he can make an analogy about how their chance for peace is as broken as that cup. Because Joffrey chopped off Ned Stark's head, so Robb is unlikely to be in a peaceful mood. And besides that, Robb is currently winning.
The advisors start suggesting all sorts of things, like ransoming Jaime or attacking or retreating. Tywin tells everybody to get out, although he makes Tyrion stay. This is another spot where things didn't happen in Standard Television Show Manner. In a regular show, Tywin would just announce, "Leave us!" and everyone would magically know exactly which set of people was supposed to stay behind. In this show, Tyrion started to leave with everyone else. Although when Tywin said, "Not you," I'm not sure how Tyrion knew that meant him. Anyway! Tywin pours Tyrion wine, which makes him suspicious. He tells him he was right about Eddard Stark, who would be much more useful to them alive. With a living Ned Stark, they could trade him to Robb to stall while they dealt with Renly and Stannis. Tywin tells Tyrion, "I always thought you were a stunted fool. Perhaps I was wrong." Tyrion instantly answers, "Half wrong." They both know they're surrounded and can't stay there. So here's the plan: the Mountain is going to set the Riverlands on fire, and everyone else will regroup somewhere. Oh, and Tyrion is being sent to King's Landing. To do what? "Rule! You will serve as Hand of the King in my absence." Well, that should be fun. And Tyrion is supposed to keep an eye on potential treason fr
om Pycelle, Littlefinger, Varys, and that whole crowd. And he's encouraged to put a few heads up on pikes if he finds any traitors. Also, Tywin gives him strict instruction not to bring "that whore" to court. There are plenty of whores already in King's Landing, aren't there? Littlefinger's seen to that.
Dany wakes up. Jorah, who has been watching over her, sheathes his sword. She immediately asks where her son is. Oh, right, because she was going into labor. Sure. I remember that! Jorah takes awhile to spit it out, but apparently the boy was stillborn. And the witch shows up to announce that he was both monstrous and twisted. He was scaled like a lizard and had bat wings! And the witch isn't particularly sympathetic, reminding Dany that she warned her that only death can pay for life. Okay, so Dany quite reasonably wants to see Drogo. "Show me what I bought with my son's life," she says. Now.
Outside, most of the khalasar is gone. That means that the army that was following Khal Drogo has given up and left, although there are still a handful of tents and a few followers there. Although I suspect they're motivated as much by morbid curiosity as by any sense of duty toward Drogo or Daenerys. Dany is led away from the remaining tents toward the cliff. Did we know they were on top of a cliff? Well, they are. And near the edge, Drogo is lying, immobile. Sort of staring into nothingness. Dany would like to know why Drogo was left out here, lying motionless in the brush, by himself. Apparently they decided he likes the warmth. So I guess he's technically alive. But he's completely unresponsive, so I'm not sure how they determined his alleged warmth-liking.
Anyway, the witch says that he'll be like this forever. Although she does it with a lot of flowery language along the lines of "When the sun sets in the east and rises in the west blah blah blah." Dany stands and tells Jorah to shove off and leave her with the witch so she can complain about her dead baby and comatose husband. The witch is surprisingly unsympathetic. She's still holding a grudge about the Dothraki burning her temple and angering the Great Shepherd. And she doesn't have a problem with Dany's son not growing up to be the Stallion Who Mounts the World, because that means he won't be the Stallion Who Burns Down the Temples. Dany is appalled at this lack of gratitude and reminds the witch that she saved her from being raped. But apparently she'd already been raped three times at that point, and that mound of heads was made up of all the people from her village. Also, she keeps bringing up her burnt temple. She's really got a thing about that. So even though Dany saved her life, Coma Drogo demonstrates that life alone is meaningless.
Jon Snow opens the doors at the Wall. But not the doors to the tunnel; these are the doors to the rest of the kingdom. He's had it with this place and is leaving. Sam warns him that they'll send ravens after him. Well, that doesn't sound that scary. Sure, they're smart, but I have to think Jon could fight off a raven or two. Oh, wait. They're going to send ravens to local cities and tell them to watch for him. And then, if I remember the first episode clearly, they'll chop his head off. Snow doesn't care, because he's got a plan. Step One, find Robb. Step Two, kill Joffrey. Sam refuses to move from in front of Snow's horse, so he gets knocked down when Snow rides out anyway. His dire wolf Ghost follows.
Tyrion is packing for his move to King's Landing. It's taking a surprisingly long time when you consider that he didn't have anything in the way of possessions when he came out of the Vale. I'm kind of surprised they had armor that fitted him. But be that as it may, he's got a lot of stuff now, which provides plenty of time for Shae to complain about not getting to go to King's Landing with him. She takes offense at being told that Tywin called her "that whore," but I can't imagine Tywin has the time to learn the names of all the whores around here. She kind of goes into a Joe Pesci thing: "I'm funny now. I'm Shae the funny whore." Tyrion whines a bit about his father, then he asks Shae to come with him and be the Hand's lady. "Because the king needs a hand and the hand..." "I know what the hand needs." More sex!
Snow rides through the woods, pursued by riders. They're right behind him! His sneaky midnight desertion is not going well so far, in my opinion. He ducks under a chest-high branch and one of the pursuers falls off his horse when he rides into it. It's Sam! And that means the other pursuers have to stop and help him up. You'd think that would stop the pursuit, but Snow rides back to help out. He's terrible at this. His desertion plan should have started with Step One-Half: Get away from the people trying to chase you. Snow hops down off his horse and tells the other men of the Night's Watch that he belongs with his brother. He means Robb, but Sam points out that they're his brothers now. He took an oath, and he can't leave. They surround him and say the vow at him. Public shaming is the answer to everything! It ends with "For this night and all nights to come." Sam picks up that fancy sword and hands it to Snow. He considers it.
Daenerys gives Drogo a sponge bath while she talks to him about their first ride. I'm going to be charitable and assume she's talking about actual horse-riding, not that time he raped her while she sobbed on their wedding night. She asks for a sign that he's still in there, but answer comes there none. ("But answer came there none" - The Walrus and the Carpenter, Lewis Carroll.) She tells him that he's a fighter and should fight now. You never backed away from anything in your life! Now fight! Fight! (Ed Harris in The Abyss, although to be honest, I'm quoting Mystery Science Theater 3000.) She begs him to come back to her. He doesn't appear to be doing so.
Later, I guess, she's near tears as she repeats the witch's words about the sun rising in the west and setting in the east, "Then you shall return to me, my sun and stars." She kisses his face. Then she slowly reaches over for a pillow and holds it down over his face. She sobs as she smothers him. The camera pulls out from the door of the tent.
Then the camera zooms into a door. We see an old, white-bearded man who says that the thing we need to know about kings is that in the past 67 years, he's known more kings than anyone. Oh, so this is what Grand Maester Pycelle looks like when he doesn't have his ceremonial robes and chain on. As he talks, there appears to be a naked lady in the bed to him. Pycelle proceeds to deliver more backstory about how Aerys Targaryen was a good man and a charmer before he went crazy. Meanwhile, the naked lady turns out to be Ros, who's trying to add some visual flair to the scene by facing away from the camera and washing her nether regions. It has become increasingly clear that Ros's job on this show is to stand around and be attractively naked while people do exposition around her. Anyway, Pycelle says that Joffrey has a good military mind, and that sternness in the defense of the realm is no vice. She asks if he was going to get to something relevant about kings, but he seems to have forgotten what he was talking about. She lets herself out and Pycelle does some distressingly backlit squats. Then he puts his cloak and chain back on and totters out of the room. So that scene established, I guess, that Pycelle actually supports Joffrey. And that he's not quite as decrepit as he normally appears. And this is probably a suggestion about how Littlefinger gathers information, right?
Littlefinger and Varys have one of their discussions in front of the Iron Throne. Varys asks, when Littlefinger imagines being king, if the crown fits. And do people bow and simper? Apparently they do not, because Imaginary King Littlefinger has cut off everyone's heads. For his part, Varys denies wanting to be king. So Littlefinger returns to his favorite topic, which is needling Varys about being a eunuch. He asks if Varys has a gash where his testicles used to be. Then he goes on and on about the castration until Varys asks if he lies awake fearing his gash. He characterizes Littlefinger as a "grasper from a minor house with a major talent for befriending powerful men. And women." They'd probably spar like this all night, and be very entertaining while they did so, but Joff
rey arrives to start the council meeting. He attends the meetings himself? He might be a step up from Robert. I imagine he's reinstated the bounty on Daenerys's head.
Yoren tells Arya that she's now "Arry the Orphan Boy." And she'll be joining a group of twenty men and boys bound for the Wall. They mostly came from the dungeons, which does not delight her. He recommends that she keep to herself, especially while pissing. Her new pals are a grubby, dangerous lot. Three of them are in a cage on the back of a wagon. And the rest of them take an instant disliking to Arya. They ask what a gutter rat like her is doing with a sword and push her down. The fat one (I'll call him "Fatty") says he kicked a boy to death. This is meant to intimidate her, but she's instantly back up on her feet, and Needle's point is in his face. She snarls at him that she already killed one fat boy. "I'm good at killing fat boys. I like killing fat boys." Fatty is terrified, which I think is the correct response.
And then he has an excuse to run away, because one of the older recruits shoves him off. Then that older recruit turns out to be the armorer's apprentice. You remember, Robert's oldest bastard? He recognizes the sword as being castle-forged steel. But he's not that concerned with it, because he cares more about his own problems. He says that his master got tired of him and shipped him off. Yoren announces that it's a thousand leagues from there to the Wall. And, in case everybody forgot, winter is coming. And off they go! Arya glances back, but I think she's eyeing the guys in the cage, not the city. I think it would be more poetic if she was looking at the city, but I guess she has to keep her mind on business.
Lord Commander Mormont clearly knows that Jon Snow ran away last night. But he's back, so everything's fine. Lots of recruits run away for a night, although I have to assume they're mostly like Samwell, not Jon. And at least he wasn't out whoring it up. Mormont says, "Honor made you leave. Honor brought you back." Snow objects that he was actually brought back by his friends, but Mormont tells him, "I didn't say it was YOUR honor." Zing! Anyway, the rangers say that whole villages north of the Wall are abandoned and a captured wildling says the tribes are uniting. Outside Eastwatch, there were four blue-eyed corpses, but they got burned right away. So things are going bad up north, is Mormont's point. The war they face is probably more important than whatever Robb has going on. Mormont says that the iron throne is a mere distraction. And tomorrow, Snow and Ghost will be with them when they ride north of the Wall. They're looking for wildlings, white walkers, and whatever other nasty things are out there. Also, he would like to find Benjen Stark. "I'll only ask you once, Lord Snow. Are you a brother of the Night's Watch or a bastard boy who wants to play at war?" Cut to the day, when Snow is among the many people riding through the tunnel under the Wall.
Drogo is wrapped in a linen and on top of a thing. It's a pyre. I think it's not supposed to be obvious right away, but I've already watched this scene, and trust me. This is a pyre. Dany has her dragon eggs set around Drogo's body, although Jorah still thinks she'd be better off riding far away, selling the eggs for an enormous profit, and living out the rest of her days as a wealthy woman. Jorah's plan might not lead to the most interesting plot, but you have to admit it has a certain realistic charm. He also doesn't want to climb up on the pyre, which also sounds perfectly reasonable. She kisses him on the cheek and turns to the few people there. "You will be my khalasar." First, she frees whichever of them are slaves. If they stay, it will be as brothers and sisters, as husbands and wives. Most of them leave, which is perfectly understandable. The witch smirks. Daenerys has Jorah tie her to the pyre. She announces that she's Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen. She's the dragon's daughter, and "I swear to you that those who would harm me will die screaming." The witch says she won't scream, and Dany disagrees. "It is not your screams I want. Only your life." She lights the outer ring, which burns around and ignites the inner ring. The pyre itself lights up. The witch sings, then starts screaming. Dany walks slowly into the fire. Jorah has to look away. The witch is engulfed.
The morning, Jorah walks among the sleeping Dothraki. There's a pile of smoking ashes. And inside it, Dany is sitting, cross-legged and naked. And she's got a cute little dragon on her shoulder!
Jorah kneels.
She has three dragons. Everyone gets down on their damn knees. The red dragon on her shoulder screeches. She's got a small retinue and three baby flying killing machines. Oh, and she really does appear to be immune to fire, which seems like the sort of thing that could come in handy.
And that's the end of the season. Spring 2012 is coming.
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