|
6-24 2003.05.14 |
...Must Come to an End Jen dies, and, yes, people, I cried. I'm not made of stone, okay? She bequeaths baby Amy to Jack, and -- because Everyone Must Learn A Lesson From Jen's Tragic Death -- Doug comes out of the closet to admit that he loves Jack and he's ready to be a parent. Meanwhile, Dawson and Joey agree that they'll be together forever.but simply as friends, rather than in any kind of sexual or romantic way. Instead, Dawson goes back to his one true love (himself, a.k.a. his television show) and Joey and Pacey end up as they should: together. Oh, shut up. You got misty, too. |
| 3-18 Recap |
Neverland
Neverland - A few more seconds of smooching, during which Joey seems to give as good as she gets, and they break the kiss. After a moment of disorientation, Joey gives Pacey a hard shove in the chest, sending him staggering back a step. |
2000.04.05 2000.04.05 |
D- |
Sars |
| Extra |
If These Walls Could Talk 2
If These Walls Could Talk 2 - ...they'd tell Sharon Stone to comb her hair |
2000.03.28 2000.03.28 |
D- |
Owen |
| Extra |
They control everything, except the viewer's attention span
The Skulls - It’s clear right away, as he stands next to his society brethren, that Townie Pacey is a little too swarthy to fit in with the rest of the Supermen. But will exposing their illegal antics bring him peace of mind, or horrible anonymous death? Key Grip draws on his own statistical analysis of members he knows of a secret unnamed society at a non-specific Ivy League school to ferret out the plausibility of this scenario. There’s none. |
2000.03.27 2001.08.14 |
C- |
Key Grip |
| 3-17 Recap |
The Cinderella Story
The Cinderella Story - Joey chirps -- all together now: "Sometimes wishes come true." Instead of responding to this truism by projecting a spray of vomit all over Joey's American Eagle Outfitters coat, Pacey agrees that wishes do come true, but ultimately, reality creeps in. |
2000.03.01 2000.03.01 |
D- |
Wing Chun |
| Extra |
Boys in my hood
Wonder Boys - So the boys came over last night to watch a Dawson's Creek horror triple-bill of Disturbing Behavior, The Skulls, and Halloween: H20 (followed by a second triple-bill of Final Destination, The Stalking of Laurie Show, and the unmitigated horror that was Varsity Blues). After that, we were convinced that the Creek kids were never gonna get their hands on a decent script, since it's clear they won't be seeing any in their day jobs. But the times, they are a-changing, and now Katie Holmes and I are taking on Oscar. And let me tell you, for a short gold guy with no arms, he's pretty tough. It's okay, though. I've got the home-field advantage. |
2000.02.25 2000.02.25 |
D- |
Aaron |
| 2-15 Recap |
...That Is The Question
...That Is The Question - After a montage of scenes from previous episodes in which Jack "Ready Or Not, Here I Come" McPhee repeatedly avows his heterosexuality, we fade up on the Sanctum Dawsonorum. |
2000.02.17 2000.02.17 |
D- |
Sars |
| 3-16 Recap |
To Green, With Love
To Green, With Love - A woman on the Board reads my mind by noting that "if you were doing your job as a parent, Mr. Caufield, maybe your son would still be in school right now," and as Dawson and Pacey clap for this sentiment, the woman continues that Matt has a file in the guidance office "over an inch thick." Joey raises her brows in a "ha!" way in Mr. C’s direction and says that Principal Green is a fair man. |
2000.02.16 2000.02.16 |
D- |
Sars |
| 2-14 Recap |
To Be Or Not To Be...
To Be Or Not To Be... - Jack says, "Sorry. I didn't mean that the way that came out." I have no comment on his choice of phrase. |
2000.02.10 2000.02.10 |
D- |
Wing Chun |
| 3-15 Recap |
Crime And Punishment
Crime And Punishment - Joey even more distractedly asks what Pacey is getting at, and he explains that the world reveres an artist, and so does he, and therefore he's here to watch her paint in the hopes that some of her "genius" will rub off on him. The word has really lost its currency if it's being flung around at the likes of Joey. |
2000.02.09 2000.02.09 |
D- |
Wing Chun |
| 3-14 Recap |
Valentine's Day Massacre
Valentine's Day Massacre - Pacey mentions that a guy named Matt Caufield is throwing an anti-Valentine’s bash. "Caufield"? I mean, the captioning says "Caufield," but I sense a mangled reference to Catcher In The Rye here. Ugh. |
2000.02.02 2000.02.02 |
D- |
Sars |
| 3-13 Recap |
Northern Lights
Northern Lights - Joey replies, "Sorry, Master Thespian, but the whole next page consists solely of cooing, tickling, and lap-sitting -- three things definitely not in my range as an actress." You don't have to tell us that, lady; we saw Teaching Mrs. Tingle. Oh, wait. No, we totally didn't. And that was why. |
2000.01.26 2000.01.26 |
D- |
Wing Chun |
| 3-12 Recap |
A Weekend In The Country
A Weekend In The Country - Joey whips open the door on a pair of Jehovah’s Witnesses, one of whom hands her a tract as Joey glares over her shoulder at a laughing Pacey. Does the fun ever start? |
2000.01.19 2000.01.19 |
D- |
Sars |
| 3-11 Recap |
Barefoot At Capefest
Barefoot At Capefest - Dawson, exhibiting as much grasp on the way the world works as an especially dull three-year-old, whines, "There's a project that I want to start working on." Firmly, Nikki replies, "There's a project that I am working on." |
2000.01.12 2000.01.12 |
D- |
Wing Chun |
| 3-10 Recap |
First Encounters Of The Close Kind
First Encounters Of The Close Kind - Joey shrugs that she signed up for the college tour, so they’ve paired her off with a random student, and "those are the rules." Dawson asks if she’s nervous, and she says yes, "but in a good way." Cue The "As God Is My Witness, I Will Get The Hell Out Of Capeside One Day" Monologue Of The Week. |
1999.12.15 1999.12.15 |
D- |
Sars |
| 3-9 Recap |
Four To Tango
Four To Tango - Dawson asks if Pacey isn't forgetting something. Pacey says he doesn't think he is. Dawson points out that he's leaving wearing only one shoe. Ah, there's that non-comic non-relief we all know and love. Except for the "love" part. |
1999.12.01 1999.12.01 |
D- |
Wing Chun |
| 3-8 Recap |
Guess Who's Coming To Dinner
Guess Who's Coming To Dinner - Pacey says, "You know, Jen, when I suggested that we hook up today, this is not exactly what I had in mind." Jen says she knows that, but adds that "Grams’s Thanksgiving feast takes precedence over our burgeoning sex life." "Burgeoning"? |
1999.11.24 1999.11.24 |
D- |
Sars |
| 3-7 Recap |
Escape From Witch Island
Escape From Witch Island - Joey says, "So, basically you're ripping off The Blair Witch Project." Cut the "basically" part, and you've got it, Jo. |
1999.11.17 1999.11.17 |
D- |
Wing Chun |
| 3-6 Recap |
Secrets And Lies
Secrets And Lies - Dear Jen: Shut up. Signed, Sars, Whose Mother Served As A Junior-League President And Is Still Ten Times The Bad-Ass Feminist You Will Ever Be. Co-signed, The Rest Of The English-Speaking World. |
1999.11.10 1999.11.10 |
D- |
Sars |
| 3-5 Recap |
Indian Summer
Indian Summer - Dawson says that was a long time ago, "in a galaxy far, far away." From another room, Glark expresses resentment at the appropriation by Dawson's Creek of any and all Star Wars-related material. |
1999.10.27 1999.10.27 |
D- |
Wing Chun |
| 3-4 Recap |
Home Movies
Home Movies - I can’t imagine that a local-news station in Philadelphia would give a fiddler’s fart about high-school football in Cape Cod, but can someone please explain to me in which universe a news producer would consent to air footage shot by the teenage blunderkind son of the new anchor? I. Don’t. THINK SO. |
1999.10.20 1999.10.20 |
D- |
Sars |
| 3-3 Recap |
None Of The Above
None Of The Above - Eve says that's where she comes in, to shake things up. Dawson finishes her thought by calling her "the temptress who will test our hero's very moral fibre." Would that be his Moral Fruit and Fibre? I don't mind that, as long as his Meat and Two Veg stay out of it, to say nothing of his Frank and Beans. |
1999.10.13 1999.10.13 |
D- |
Wing Chun |
| 3-2 Recap |
Homecoming
Homecoming - Dawson says he can't find Eve, and Pacey asks if Dawson checked down at the strip joint, and Dawson mumbles, "Embarrassingly, yes," and adds that "it turns out she was a temp." Pacey echoes my thoughts by wondering, "Strip joints have temps?" |
1999.10.06 1999.10.06 |
D- |
Sars |
| 3-1 Recap |
Like A Virgin
Like A Virgin - Dawson opines that Risky Business is a modern myth: "Joseph Campbell meets Sigmund Freud meets Holden Caulfield." I need a nap. |
1999.09.29 1999.09.29 |
D- |
Wing Chun |
| Extra |
Annoying Mr. Shack
Teaching Mrs. Tingle - Helen Mirren, basic tenets of continuity, and secondary education all take it in the patootie. Shack's skin crawls, and we don't mean figuratively. The word "irony" is, at long and well-overdue last, correctly defined. |
1999.08.11 1999.08.11 |
D- |
Shack |
| 2-22 Recap |
Parental Discretion Advised
Parental Discretion Advised - I only include the dialogue from the lead-in mood-setting expository-shorthand movie because it's the best line of the episode. |
1999.05.26 1999.05.26 |
D- |
Wing Chun |
| 2-21 Recap |
Ch...ch...ch...changes
Ch...ch...ch...changes - After Dawson whines about feeling the need to please people who dislike him (i.e. everyone), Joey "Right Soul, Wrong Mate" Potter tells him not to get his knickers in a twist: "It's your film final, this should be a no-brainer for you." Dawson non-modestly responds, "I know." Shut up, Dawson. |
1999.05.19 1999.05.19 |
D- |
Sars |
| 2-20 Recap |
Reunited
Reunited - Pacey says, "Let's face it, guys; we are thisfar away from the Peach Pit." The rest of the assemblage stares at him in stony silence for a moment, and then a not-at-all hackneyed and not-too-long pillow fight ensues. Except for the "not" part. |
1999.05.12 1999.05.12 |
D- |
Wing Chun |
| 2-19 Recap |
Rest In Peace
Rest In Peace - Joey comes over and sits down next to Jen and puts her arm around her as Jen begins to sob. Dawson looms over both of them, calculating precisely how this tragedy will affect him. |
1999.05.05 1999.05.05 |
D- |
Sars |
| 2-18 Recap |
A Perfect Wedding
A Perfect Wedding - Mr. Pothead tells Joey that he and Bessie were up early "scheming up" ways to make money. "Scheming" seems like an odd word choice for a man so recently sprung from prison, but, again, whatever. |
1999.04.18 1999.04.18 |
D- |
Wing Chun |
| Extra |
Smoke two joints
Cash Crop - The Beek moves up in the world and plays a marijuana dealer in Cash Crop. |
1999.03.12 2001.08.16 |
C- |
Pete |