|
6-24 2003.05.14 |
...Must Come to an End Jen dies, and, yes, people, I cried. I'm not made of stone, okay? She bequeaths baby Amy to Jack, and -- because Everyone Must Learn A Lesson From Jen's Tragic Death -- Doug comes out of the closet to admit that he loves Jack and he's ready to be a parent. Meanwhile, Dawson and Joey agree that they'll be together forever.but simply as friends, rather than in any kind of sexual or romantic way. Instead, Dawson goes back to his one true love (himself, a.k.a. his television show) and Joey and Pacey end up as they should: together. Oh, shut up. You got misty, too. |
| 4-16 Recap |
Lie lady lie
Mind Games - Drue rigs the senior poll to make Dawson and Joey "Best Couple." Joey wigs; nobody else cares much, which belies Joey's claim that she doesn't care much either. Joey's face melts a lot. Dawson and Gretchen fight about sex; then Joey and Gretchen fight about Dawson, and Joey is all "neener neener, he still likes me better," and now I really really hate her. As of the end of the episode, nobody has broken up, but Dawson still doesn't know the truth, and Pacey is starting a slow burn. Elsewhere, Jen stalks her therapist. |
2001.02.28 2001.03.08 |
C+ |
Sars |
| Extra |
Out and about
Kerr Smith comes out of the frat-boy closet in Seventeen and Out - Kerr Smith's publicist puts her hand in Kerr's back and wiggles her fingers, and Kerr dispenses antediluvian dating advice to Seventeen readers. Then he does his bit for gay pride (and the Diesel clothing line, and Mach3 razors) in Out. |
2001.02.27 2001.02.27 |
C |
Sars |
| 4-15 Recap |
The Scarlet N
Four Stories - It stands for "not," and the writers associated with this antediluvian dreck each need to get fitted with one immediately. |
2001.02.14 2001.02.16 |
D- |
Sars |
| 4-14 Recap |
Sex and Death
A Winter's Tale - Joey and Pacey finally do it. Jen and Jack almost do it, but don't. Dawson kills Mr. Brooks. |
2001.02.07 2001.02.12 |
C- |
Sars |
| 4-13 Recap |
R U Experienced?
Hopeless - Dawson gets in touch with his outer child, Tobey goes for the burn, and Joey and Pacey kick it 8:53-style. Again. |
2001.01.31 2001.02.04 |
C+ |
Sars |
| Extra |
American Pie
Scream - Mix one low-rent hack director, one low-rent hack writer, a Friend, a Salinger, Marilyn Manson's girlfriend, Freddie Prinze Jr.'s boyfriend, two cups pop-culture references, and about three tons of lame, hackneyed, self-aware irony. Whip until frothy. Bake ninety minutes at two hundred degrees, and garnish with several gallons of corn syrup and red food coloring. Warning: Not to be used for sexual purposes. |
2001.01.31 2001.01.31 |
B |
Aaron |
| Extra |
Vile Things
Cruel Intentions 2 - CI:2 has sleaze, incoherent plot twists, gratuitous nudity, and a completely repellent main character. And yet, somehow it still manages to be boring. |
2001.01.21 2001.07.16 |
D |
Strega |
| 4-12 Recap |
...and you smell like one too
The Te Of Pacey - Pacey's birthday brings with it family discord, Continuity's escape and subsequent recapture, redemption for Tobey, and a replicant version of Sheriff Witter. Oh, and some really unpleasant imagery involving Dawson's groin. Bon appetit! |
2001.01.17 2001.01.24 |
B |
Sars |
| 4-11 Recap |
Zen and the art of choking back the bile
The Tao Of Dawson - Grams and Mr. Brooks find love in spite Dawson's snitty judgmental routine. Joey and Drue get locked in a storeroom. Gretchen faces off against her ex. Contrivance heads over to Sars's house and eats cream cheese with a knife. |
2001.01.10 2001.01.13 |
C- |
Sars |
| 4-10 Recap |
Make the Yuletide gay
Self-Reliance - Or, if you're Jack, don't. Joey and Pacey do the fight-'n'-make-up thing some more, Mr. Brooks shows a bit of human frailty, Dawson prompts not a single homicidal thought, and millions of viewers wonder what happened to the real writers. |
2000.12.20 2000.12.22 |
B |
Sars |
| Extra |
"The Stalking Of Laurie Show"
"The Stalking Of Laurie Show" - Showing concurrently: The Boring Of Aaron |
2000.12.18 2000.12.18 |
C- |
Aaron |
| 4-9 Recap |
Have yourseeeeeelf a greeeeeeeeeasy little Christmaaaaaaas
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang - Joey pussywhips Pacey into attending an alumni-schmooze function with her, then has a hissy when the alumni rep laughs at Pacey's jokes. Then the two of them make up in agonizingly long and schmoopy fashion, sending me into insulin shock in the process. Dawson and Mr. Brooks scuffle some more, then reach an understanding. Bye, Mr. Brooks. Grams, Jack, and Jen get stuck with a dumb subplot about Jen's college apps. Dawson kisses Gretchen. Symbolism helps itself to leftover pizza. |
2000.11.29 2000.12.03 |
C+ |
Sars |
| 4-8 Recap |
Keyser Snore-ze
The Unusual Suspects - Principal Spinal Tap's schooner winds up in the Capeside High pool and Dawson, Jack, and Pacey become the prime suspects. After a great deal of moody fan-lit interrogation scenes, punctuated by the occasional snore from the Flash (word, my neckless friend), it is revealed that Dawson, Jack, and Pacey did nap the boat...but they pin the blame on Drue. Also, Lead Dad and his Homophobic Dad Gaggle boot Jack out of the coaching position. |
2000.11.22 2000.11.27 |
C |
Sars |
| Extra |
Final Destination
Final Destination - Only the ginger snaps stand between Sars and death. |
2000.11.19 2000.11.19 |
C- |
Sars |
| 4-7 Recap |
Part One Of The Special Sars/Wing Chun Sweeps Crossover Event!
You Had Me At Goodbye - Woo woo. |
2000.11.15 2000.11.17 |
C |
Wing Chun |
| 4-6 Recap |
Chemical sisters
Great Xpectations - Andie takes one of Jen's E tabs, blisses out, and keels over. Jack blames Jen. Angry McPhee brushes clods of soil off of his lapels and joins us in a beyond-the-grave cameo. Elsewhere, Gretchen and Dawson totally don't have anything going on. At all. Nothing. And the Dawson's Creek hair wrangler checks into rehab. |
2000.11.08 2000.11.08 |
B- |
Sars |
| 4-5 Recap |
A Family Way
A Family Way - Dawson gives The Flash a "now what?" look. The Flash gives Gale a "well well, little lady" look. I give my stomach lining a "please don't hurt me" look. |
2000.11.01 2000.11.01 |
D- |
Sars |
| 4-4 Recap |
Future Tense
Future Tense - Joey smiles indulgently as Pacey continues to ramble that people spend their whole lives worrying about what the future will bring, and when the future arrives, they find out they needn't have bothered, and as The Skillet Of This Episode's Theme makes resounding contact with my skull, Pacey blathers something about Boy George and tosses a pillow off of Joey's bed. |
2000.10.25 2000.10.25 |
C+ |
Sars |
| 4-3 Recap |
The Two Gentlemen Of Capeside
The Two Gentlemen Of Capeside - Hey, wait a sec. Do you think the writers want us to draw a parallel between The Two Gentlemen Of Verona and the Dawson-Joey-Pacey situation? |
2000.10.18 2000.10.18 |
C- |
Sars |
| 4-2 Recap |
Failing Down
Failing Down - Welcome to the WB Wednesday night, in which viewers pinned under rocks, viewers named Rip Van Winkle, and viewers with absolutely no short-term memory learn that her choice. Changed. Everything. And fate. Will bring them. Back together. Don't get it? Go lie down. |
2000.10.11 2000.10.11 |
C- |
Sars |
| 4-1 Recap |
Coming Home
Coming Home - Tonight, as the fourth season begins, she'll discover…her. Choice. Changed. Everything. Yes, yes. We know. We've seen the promos. We live in the world. For God's sweet sake, get on with it. |
2000.10.04 2000.10.04 |
C |
Sars |
| Extra |
An Extra's Shooting Diary
An Extra's Shooting Diary - Styx spills a couple of beans about Season 4. |
2000.08.31 2000.08.31 |
D- |
Styx |
| Extra |
Do Not Flaunt What You Haven't Got
Do Not Flaunt What You Haven't Got - Sars unmasks James Van Der Beek as -- surprise -- an ass and a half. |
2000.08.01 2000.08.01 |
D |
Sars |
| 3-23 Recap |
True Love
True Love - Joey tries to scurry off, saying she has something borrowed but nothing blue yet -- isn't that just for the bride? -- but before she can escape, Dawson intones, "Shouldn't be too hard. Seems to be some of that going around these days." Huh? |
2000.05.24 2000.05.24 |
D- |
Wing Chun |
| 3-22 Recap |
The Anti-Prom
The Anti-Prom - Joey takes Dawson's guilt trip, but says she doesn't want a corsage and she doesn't want Dawson to wear a ruffly blue tuxedo shirt. "Done," Dawson says, staring at her all dewy-eyed. |
2000.05.17 2000.05.17 |
D- |
Sars |
| 3-21 Recap |
Show Me Love
Show Me Love - Apprehensive, Joey says nothing, but is probably mentally calculating how far away from this conversation she could get if she caught Dawson unawares and took off running. |
2000.05.10 2000.05.10 |
D- |
Wing Chun |
| 3-20 Recap |
The Longest Day
The Longest Day - As Pacey hoists her onto a counter, Joey protests weakly that they should get going: "It's your boat we're planning on christening." So that's what the kids call it these days. |
2000.05.03 2000.05.03 |
D- |
Sars |
| 3-19 Recap |
Stolen Kisses
Stolen Kisses - I would like to remind everyone of my remarks of March, 1999, in my recap of "Be Careful What You Wish For," in which Andie and Dawson got up on stage at the Contrivance Club and "sang" the "blues": "...if Dawson ever sings again, I will kill myself." Let's hope I can get through this episode without making the ultimate sacrifice. |
2000.04.26 2000.04.26 |
D- |
Wing Chun |
| Extra |
Less Than Zero
Gossip - Rich, bratty college students hang out in clubs, drink martinis, pretend that they're artists, give dumb speeches, and scheme to destroy each other's lives. It's like a bad urban eighties novel, but without the sex and drugs. And with an extra helping of bad. |
2000.04.21 2001.06.28 |
D- |
Shack |
| Extra |
Toque Speaks!
Toque Speaks! - Last summer, Wing Chun's sister Toque was an extra in the Joshua Jackson film The Skulls. At last, she unburdens herself of all the dish she accumulated on the set. |
2000.04.06 2000.04.06 |
D- |
Wing Chun |