Dawson's Creek

6-23 2003.05.14

Future Shock Ha! As if. There's nothing shocking about this episode, which allegedly takes place five years from now, even though everyone still looks and acts exactly the same -- which is to say, badly coiffed and irritating. Especially Dawson. Everyone who was hoping he would be the "one of these four friends" who took a dirt nap will be sorely disappointed, and yet, not even the tiniest bit surprised by who actually is about to croak. (Hint: That character's name rhymes with "Jen." And is "Jen.")

6-24 Recap	...Must Come to an End ...Must Come to an End - Jen dies, and, yes, people, I cried. I'm not made of stone, okay? She bequeaths baby Amy to Jack, and -- because Everyone Must Learn A Lesson From Jen's Tragic Death -- Doug comes out of the closet to admit that he loves Jack and he's ready to be a parent. Meanwhile, Dawson and Joey agree that they'll be together forever.but simply as friends, rather than in any kind of sexual or romantic way. Instead, Dawson goes back to his one true love (himself, a.k.a. his television show) and Joey and Pacey end up as they should: together. Oh, shut up. You got misty, too.	2003.05.14 2003.05.22	A-	Jessica
6-23 Recap	Future Shock All Good Things... - Ha! As if. There's nothing shocking about this episode, which allegedly takes place five years from now, even though everyone still looks and acts exactly the same -- which is to say, badly coiffed and irritating. Especially Dawson. Everyone who was hoping he would be the "one of these four friends" who took a dirt nap will be sorely disappointed, and yet, not even the tiniest bit surprised by who actually is about to croak. (Hint: That character's name rhymes with "Jen." And is "Jen.")	2003.05.14 2003.05.18	C	Sars
6-22 Recap	Joey Potter and Capeside Redemption Joey Potter and Capeside Redemption - Joey pulls all of Capeside together to make Dawson's movie happen. Pacey, meanwhile, uses his charm all over town to make back most of the money Dawson lost in his crazy stock scheme. In the final analysis, Joey reels off a pat little speech about all the stuff she's learned about, like, life and shit in her long nineteen years, and it is revealed that she's run off to Paris. Before she goes, though, she and Dawson make their peace with each other, and she even brokers an honest understanding of sorts between Dawson and Pacey.	2003.05.07 2003.05.14	B+	Jessica
6-21 Recap	Goodbye, Yellow Brick Road Goodbye, Yellow Brick Road - Pacey has lost all of the seed money for Dawson's Self-Indulgent Independent Movie, and after he manages to get up the courage to tell him, the two of them have a big old fight. Also, they make all this noise about how they're not really friends, and blah blah blah Joey-cakes. After the fight, Joey gives Pacey a little pep talk about how he's making his fear of failure into a self-fulfilling prophecy, and she assures him that she wants to be part of his life. In Boston, Jen's mother arrives to kiss and make up with Grams. Grams, Jen, CJ, and Jack then all decide to move to New York, so that CJ can go to grad school, and Grams can be waiting on them hand and foot.	2003.04.30 2003.05.06	B	Jessica
6-20 Recap	Making money hand over fisticuffs Catch-22 - Sadia and Pacey have the world's least interesting affair, Dawson's money goes down the tubes, Eddie dumps Joey, Pacey has a fight with Boss Man Rich, and Jack breaks up with Little David. It sounds like a lot, but honestly, nothing happens.	2003.04.23 2003.04.30	C	Miss Alli
6-19 Recap	Lovelines Lovelines - Dr. Drew and Adam Corolla, formerly of Loveline fame, make an appearance at Boston Bay College of Contrivance. Joey and Eddie use the forum to work through the fact that she doesn't want to "get with" him. Blandy and Jen use it to work through their "break-up," and Jen finally admits to Blandy that Grams is sick. TGED and Jack have the stupidest fight in the world about saving seats, because they're apparently twelve. Oh, and Audrey's back. Whatever.	2003.04.16 2003.04.23	D	Jessica
6-18 Recap	Love Bites Love Bites - Grams has breast cancer and it's spread too far for surgery, Joey told Pacey that it was over between them forever and went back to Oliver, and I sympathized with Dawson. I can't give a well-done and moving episode a bad grade simply because one character (Joey) made a choice (going back to Oliver) that I think is really, really wrong (yes, I said Oliver), can I?	2003.04.09 2003.04.16	A-	Jessica
6-17 Recap	Sex and Violence Sex and Violence - Joey takes a temporary job as Pacey's assistant, and acts completely unprofessionally and in a generally appalling manner. And stupid Dawson goes through the most unrealistic pitch meeting ever and then talks to Todd, and Todd has apparently been taken over by the pod people because he gives him the schmoopiest advice ever. And Jen! Jen has a complete break with reality and decides that CJ both wants an unreasonable amount of sex from her and that he thinks she's a slut, painting herself as a whore and a prude at the same time! And then she and CJ work out their sexual problems with Grams! At the dinner table!	2003.04.02 2003.04.08	D	Jessica
6-16 Recap	That Was Then That Was Then - Pacey and Joey are considering whether to revisit their relationship when Pacey gets called back to Capeside: Pa Witter is in the hospital. He recovers, but not without finally telling Pacey how proud he is of the way Pacey turned out. This causes some conflict between Pacey and a surprisingly bratty Deputy Doug, but Pacey's visit to Capeside ends well when he meets up with Dawson and they agree to start anew with their friendship. As for Joey, she's dealing with her own Mini-Me, as she tutors Harley in both English and her burgeoning relationship with a mini-Pacey.	2003.03.26 2003.04.01	B+	Jessica
Extra	An "Edgy" Film Is A Good Career Move The Rules of Attraction - ...unless that film, like The Rules of Attraction, is a lame attempt to bend the rules of cinema. With unnecessary split screens, prolonged reverse-motion scenes, poor continuity, a cast of characters no one cares about, and Jessica Biel. James Van Der Beek, you were better off with Texas Rangers.	2003.03.04 2003.03.04	B-	Sara
6-15 Recap	Castaways Castaways - Joey and Pacey are locked in a K-Mart. No Dawson. No Audrey. No boring tertiary characters yapping about their stupid lives. Katie Holmes and Josh Jackson look alive for the second episode in a row as their characters actually talk about the fact that, you know, they used to go out. Eventually, Pacey admits that he's been having schmoopy feelings for Joey. She kisses him a couple of times, but asks to think about the possibility of them getting back together for a bit before giving him a definitive answer. Bonus: Pacey loses the goatee! Praise the sweet Lord!	2003.02.12 2003.02.15	A-	Jessica
6-14 Recap	Clean and Sober Clean and Sober - Jack and Pacey have a big party, including a very amusing game of Spin-the-Bottle. Emma announces that she's marrying some total freak so she can stay in the country, and Jack asks her to marry him instead. She doesn't take him up on it, though. Blandy and Jen have sex and, really, seem very schmoopy together. And when Pacey puts a very drunk Joey to bed, he admits that he never got over her! And then they kiss! Eeeee! Oh, yeah -- on the other side of the country, Dawson visits Audrey in rehab and spends his whole time stalking a famous producers who's also drying out there. But who cares about them?	2003.02.05 2003.02.10	A-	Jessica
6-13 Recap	Rock Bottom Rock Bottom - Joey and Oliver drive Audrey to rehab in Los Angeles, picking up the always amusing Seth Rogen along the way. Dawson starts reshoots on Todd's movie, but doesn't get anything done until he starts acting like Todd. Without the charm, natch. Grams has broken up with Clifton Smalls, and Jen sets her up with Blandy's uncle. Grams and Uncle Blandy kind of hit it off -- even though Uncle Blandy is kind of an ass -- and Blandy and Jen kiss. I guess he was just waiting for her to get that horrid Dutch Boy hair cut.	2003.01.29 2003.01.31	C+	Jessica
6-12 Recap	All the Right Moves All the Right Moves - Audrey's still boozing it up. Briggs takes Pacey to a party at Leland Palmer's house (yes, Leland Palmer of Twin Peaks), where Bobby and Leland make Pacey the patsy for what is obviously some illegal scam they're running. And Joey talks Flip-Flops into getting Oliver into a fancy-schmancy writing program. It appears that Jack, Jen, Blandy, Grams, Dawson, Natasha, and Todd are all dead in a ditch somewhere.	2003.01.22 2003.01.25	C+	Jessica
6-11 Recap	Day Out of Days Day Out of Days - Oliver's missing! Joey is concerned. Pacey still hates his job.and yet, will not resign. And Dawson has been hired to direct reshoots of Todd's movie, despite the fact that he's alarmingly unqualified to do so. Also: The Annual Gay Kiss! This year, with 60 percent less emotion!	2003.01.15 2003.01.21	C+	Jessica
6-10 Recap	Merry Mayhem Merry Mayhem - It's Christmas in Capeside, and everyone's having dinner at Casa Leery. So, they're all at dinner, right? And then Audrey, high on booze and painkillers, tells them all exactly what she thinks of them, spilling oodles of embarrassing secrets in the process. Then she runs outside and proceeds to crash Pacey's new Beemer into the house. What a delightful dinner guest she is!	2002.12.11 2002.12.18	B-	Jessica
Extra	Texas Rangers Texas Rangers - Dawson, Bobby Donnell, John Doggett, and Usher get up to all kinds of trouble in Texas. As the last line of defense in a state that's about to go to hell in a bandit's basket, the Texas Rangers ride in and save the day. No, I'm really not kidding.	2002.12.10 2002.12.10	C-	Ragdoll
6-9 Recap	Everything Put Together Falls Apart Everything Put Together Falls Apart - Emma and Pacey kiss; Natasha cheats on the Beek; Joey sleeps through her final; Jessica finally takes her own life.	2002.11.20 2002.11.27	C-	Jessica
6-8 Recap	Spiderwebs Spiderwebs - I've got nothing against Gwen Stefani, but if I wanted to see an hour of her cut abs and complicated eye make-up, I'd turn on MTV. In between long scenes of No Doubt performing, Pacey resorts to violence, Audrey continues to irritate viewers across the world, and Oliver and Joey start to get schmoopy.	2002.11.13 2002.11.20	C+	Jessica
6-7 Recap	Ego Tripping at the Gates of Hell Ego Tripping at the Gates of Hell - Okay, here's the story. Nothing happened. Nothing. Not a single thing. Audrey got drunk, made an ass of herself, and vomited. Jack got some closure on his non-relationship with Professor Unambiguously Closeted, but no action. He's also -- possibly -- getting the party started with Tiny, Gay, Elfin David, who is now my favorite character on this show. Pacey goes to New Orleans for five minutes and almost has sex with a whore. No, a real one. There was no Dawson at all. Some other shit happened, but I feel asleep.	2002.11.06 2002.11.10	C	Jessica
6-6 Recap	Living Dead Girl Living Dead Girl - In this Halloween-themed episode, Todd and Natasha play a supremely obvious practical joke on Dawson, which eventually culminates in Dawson and Natasha's romantic reunion. Oliver and Joey baby-sit Professor Flip Flops's daughter, who Joey might as well just dub "Mini-Me" and get it over with. During the course of the evening, Oliver kisses Joey. Blandy tells Jack that he's not romantically interested in Jen, and Audrey slaps Pacey and then breaks up with him.	2002.10.30 2002.11.06	B-	Jessica
Extra	True TWoP Story: I Was An Extra True TWoP Story: I Was An Extra - When she was cast as an extra on Dawson's Creek, lasuanne thought it was a dream come true. But soon the dream turned to a nightmare of cheap vodka and makeovers gone awry...	2002.10.26 2002.10.26	B	Lasuanne
6-5 Recap	The Imposters The Imposters - The entire audience dies of boredom as absolutely nothing happens in this episode at all. Oh, except we find out that Oliver isn't actually a student. He's just auditing classes at Worthington. Yawn.	2002.10.23 2002.10.30	D	Jessica
6-4 Recap	Instant Karma! Instant Karma! - What does the title of this episode even mean? No one knows. A more descriptive title would have been "Incredibly Boring Episode About Nothing."	2002.10.16 2002.10.23	C+	Jessica
6-3 Recap	Please Please Mr. Postman The Importance Of Not Being Too Earnest - …kill me. Joey sends an email intended for Dawson to the entire campus, and suffers for it. HA-ha! Also, Pacey learns a few hard truths about the cutthroat world of financial markets, and Jack embarrasses himself with his hot straight prof. Think that sounds interesting? Think again.	2002.10.09 2002.10.13	C	Sars
6-2 Recap	The Song Remains The Same The Song Remains The Same - Yeah, remember how Dawson and Joey had sex? The fallout begins.	2002.10.02 2002.10.09	B-	Jessica
6-1 Recap	Hysterical Blindness The Kids Are Alright - Dawson and Joey finally have sex. Across North America, hospitals report sharp increases of eye-related injuries, including bleeding from the eyes, bleach thrown into the eyes and eyes being gouged out by the patient. Authorities are mystified.	2002.10.02 2002.10.08	B-	Jessica
Extra	Final Analysis The Rob Nagle Interview - Rob Nagle, a.k.a. Tom Frost, a.k.a. Mr. Sars, very nicely pretends that Sars isn't a big freak and answers some questions about his time on DC.	2002.08.20 2002.08.20	D-	Sars
Extra	Bad Reputation The Smokers - That's what Busy's c.v. has with this piece of crap on it. Heavy-handed phallic imagery, table for almost no one!	2002.05.27 2002.05.27	D	Asbestos
5-23 Recap	Swan Song Swan Song - Dawson and Audrey try to leave for Los Angeles, but Pacey and Joey (ignoring all airport security regulations) manage to get to their respective objects of affection before it's too late. In other news, Jack decides to stay in town and hang out with Ambiguously Gay Eric. Jen decides to go to the Hamptons and hang with her Mean Parents. Grams and her red-hot lover take off to Vegas. No, really. No, really.	2002.05.15 2002.05.22	C+	Jessica

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