Tom reminds us that, last night, some stars picked up the pace (Helio, Sabrina) while others lagged behind (WAYNE!), and I don't know if you knew this, but this show is LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE! Drew joins Tom to tell us that tonight, Queen Latifah will be joining us, along with Jimmy Kimmel (yay?).
Last night...well, either you watched it, or you read the weecap, or you should read the weecap or watch the episode online or whatever, so I'm not going to re-recap it, except for the new interview stuff if it's interesting. Marie jokes that Bruno called her a hot Latina mama, and she realizes all the Latinas watching are doubting that, but she's hot due to hot flashes. Ah, menopause humor. Actually probably the right move for the target demographic. Jane joked that she was barely dressed, and it still wasn't raunchy enough for Len. They show Jennie's wipeout about a million times, and Jennie acts like her boob popped out or something, which would actually be worth being embarrassed about. But it didn't. She fell. She needs to move past it.
Tom and Drew ask Len who they want to see perform an encore. Len chooses Helio and Julianne to do the mambo. They perform again, and Helio gets a little ahead of the beat at one point, but Julianne pulls him back on track. As someone pointed out on the forums, though, Helio doesn't have great hip action, but it's covered by his long coat. If he doesn't improve, that's going to become more apparent as the field gets whittled down.
Drew and Tom review the scores from worst to first. Tom has to deliver the sad news that Jane Seymour's mom passed away in England last night, so Jane has gone back to England. It's even more sad, because the whole reason Jane wanted to be on the show was because her mom loved the British version of the show so much. Tom reveals that Jane and Tony are safe, and that Jane has decided to continue in the competition. Sure. From what I read, her mom was ill for some time, and while the death of a parent is never easy, maybe focusing on competing will help her to feel like she's doing something to remember her mom as well as keep her busy. Or whatever -- whichever way she decided to go would have been understandable. Anyway, Tom reveals that, to the surprise of no one, Helio and Julianne are also safe. And Queen Latifah is coming up! Drew even makes fun of Tom going "LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE" which earns Drew a few points in my book.
Tom intros Queen Latifah to perform "Live 'Til I Die," made famous by Frank Sinatra, while two of the pros do a quickstep. I'm pretty sure that's what the dance is, anyway. Sometimes what the professionals do looks so different from what the celebrities do.
Drew is backstage to talk to the contestants with the lowest scores, Mark and Wayne. Mark says that if they get through this week, it will be entirely due to the fans, since the judges gave them such low scores. So he hopes to be able to dance week for the fans. Wayne has been selected by the rest of the cast to deliver a message to Jane. He expresses their love for Jane, as well as their condolences.
Drew throws it back to Tom, who apparently has a teleprompter malfunction, but he's a pro so he makes the most of it. It's my least favorite segment -- let's ask the audience what they thought! Donny Osmond thought his sister did well, as did the Cavemen. Some ladies want Cameron to take his shirt off. Bob the Bachelor (not to be confused with Bob the Builder, who can do it, yes he can) felt for Jennie and liked that she was able to laugh about her fall. Corbin Bleu liked his Disney-mate Sabrina, because he's contractually obligated to say that.
Let's find out two more couples who are safe! The first is Mel and Maks. Yay! I was worried that because they went first, people would forget about them, and while I don't love Maks, I do like Mel, and I like them together. And the second couple is Sabrina and Mark, who act all surprised. Please. Between the high judges' scores and her huge tween fanbase, she's not going anywhere for a long, long time.
Tom tells us that some of week's couples will be performing the tango, so here are some pros to show us how it's done. They set up this whole vignette with the men walking in and the women sitting at a little café table, but I'd rather they just start dancing. By the way, I totally thought one of the ladies was a dude, and I was thinking how progressive it was of ABC, although I wondered if the one dude normally drags it up, or if that was just to try to fool the bluehairs. Then my husband and I had a ten-minute argument over whether or not it's a dude, and I had to Google it and discover that it was, in fact, a woman. In fact, she's married to one of the male dancers. So now I feel bad. I'm going to blame the HDTV -- it doesn't do anyone any favors, and it's very unforgiving.
It's time to check in with Jimmy Kimmel and Guillermo. Guillermo broke his arm and they can't dance together! I'm so not disappointed. They'll be answering letters instead. Someone wants to know how the votes are tabulated. Jimmy and Guillermo walk down to a small room in the basement, where the Count from Sesame Street is answering the phones. That would explain why so many people have had wacky voting problems, like trying to vote for the first time and being told they've already voted eleven times. Maybe ABC shouldn't poke fun at its voting system when it actually kind of sucks.
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It's time to find out one more safe couple, and it's Mark and Kym! WOW! My husband is making fun of me for getting it wrong. Of course, he refused to go out on a limb and make a pick. Every time they throw to commercial, they say that "the elimination continues," and that just makes me think of poop. I can't be the only one.
Queen Latifah is back, and Tony and Anna will be dancing as she sings a jazzy version of "California Dreamin'" by The Mamas and the Papas. After that ends, we get to hear from the professional dancers talk about this season's celebrities. Julianne thinks that the celebrities need to have performance, technique, and a fanbase as never before. In terms of performance, Edyta thinks Mel B. is the one to beat, while Marie and Mark also get mentions. For technique, Jonathan is impressed with Sabrina, and others enjoy Helio's precision, Jennie's arms, and Jane in general. When talking about a fanbase, Cameron has a huge one, as does Wayne Newton. Albert didn't have much fanbase coming in, but now everyone knows him. All of the pros can agree that it's anyone's competition at this point.
Drew talks to Marie and Jonathan backstage. Marie says it's stressful, especially standing there waiting to hear who is safe and listening to the heartbeat sound. Cameron says that he feels vulnerable, and not just because his shirt is unbuttoned to his navel.
In an interview, we hear from Wayne about how difficult and pressure-filled the show is. Cameron says he's never experienced pressure like this. Jennie says that everyone is freaking out backstage. Jane was terrified to go on the dance floor for the first time, because it was a totally different environment from rehearsal. Albert says he's addicted to the adrenaline of the competition now.
Five couples are safe, and now we'll find out two more who will be joining them week. The first is Marie and Jonathan (whom Tom jokingly called Jonny and Marie, which totally threw me off). Also back week are Floyd and Karina. Still in jeopardy are Jennie, Albert, Cameron, and Wayne. It had better be Wayne who goes home.
And now we're going to find out who is safe and who is in the bottom two. Jennie and Derek took a spill last night. Wayne and Cheryl's quickstep wasn't quick enough. Cameron and Edyta danced well, but was it enough? Albert and Anna were known as dark horses. Jennie and Derek are safe. Wayne and Cheryl are in the bottom two. They don't look surprised. Cameron and Edyta are safe. Cameron is shocked. Albert and Anna are also in the bottom two. Albert looks like he's about to throw up. Tom says we're actually not going to break for commercials right now for once. Len is shocked to see Albert in the bottom two, because he has so much potential. Bruno calls Wayne an American legend, but this season has so much talent that Wayne will really need to lean on Cheryl to learn technique. Cheryl won't pick which one she thinks is going home, unlike me. Of course, I was wrong, so maybe Cheryl is right here.
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And who's going home? Albert and Anna. Holy crap. Poor Albert. He was dancing for his grandfather. Everyone is stunned. Even Drew and Tom don't really know what to say. The band plays them off as the other contestants give the departing couple a big hug. Well, that sucked. Although it's possible Albert would have left week, but I thought he had a lot of potential, and could have lasted quite some time. He was sort of a Jerry Rice, but without the fanbase, which I guess was the problem. Plus, easy on the eyes, unlike scary Wayne Newton. Anyway, we'll see what happens week.
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