Manor attic. Phoebe and Raige lug a half-dead Piper through the door and tote her over to the center of the room. Piper's face is crisscrossed with crimson welts and gashes. As Phoebe and Raige set Piper down on the carpet, Phoebe begs her to gather her strength just long enough for the apparently urgent task at hand. Raige asks if they should summon the Dolt. Phoebe answers in the negative, determined to "make this plan work" without the Dolt's help. The reason for all this fuss presently blazes into the center of the room. "Seems almost anti-climactic after all this time," begins The Source, a bit more mildly than one would expect from the master of Hell. From the sound of his voice, it seems they've switched actors for this role again. The new guy's aiming for a mellower take on Eeevil than the steroid- (and scenery-) chomping Sources of episodes past, and sounds a bit like Riff-Raff from The Rocky Horror Picture Show as a result. "Say hello to Prue for me," he continues, wiggling the fingers on his right hand by way of goodbye. The Source then conjures his version of a Flaming Ball Of Death -- a fiery set of four or five rings that flip and spin around a central axis. He tosses it at Raige, who promptly orbs out before it can hit her. The FBOD smashes harmlessly into a pile of attic junk. Phoebe calls, "Piper! Now!" Piper flings out her hands, and The Source explodes outwards into a mist of Source shrapnel that just as quickly merges back together in Source form. Raige shouts, "Crystals! Circle!" while waving her hands about. A set of crystals orbs from a nearby table to arrange itself at The Source's feet. The crystals shoot yellow bolts of flaring electricity into the air, trapping The Source within some sort of force field. The Source attempts to hurl another of his FBODs at the gals, but it ricochets against the crystals' force field and back into his own body. The Ps gaze on from their huddle on the floor as The Source ignites in flame to explode once more -- this time for good.
Or not. The fireball consuming The Source expands outwards to fill the screen. As it does so, it cross-fades into an extreme close-up of a cataract-occluded eyeball. The shot slowly pulls back to reveal that the milky eye belongs to Debbi Morgan from All My Children, looking ten kinds of Creole witchy with mini-dreads and bangly gold earrings. Speaking of Creole witches, I thought her career was moving forward after that critically-acclaimed role she had in Eve's Bayou, so what the hell is she doing on this show? It seems Holly Marie Combs isn't the only person worrying about her mortgage payments. Anyway, Debbi's eyes clear as the shot continues to pull back. She's standing in a candle-lit chamber somewhere in Hell. The Source enters the frame behind her to ask, "Well? What did you see?" "I saw your demise," she replies. The Source insists that her premonition must have been incorrect. "You know how powerful my visions are," she notes with preternatural calm. "More so than The Oracle's were, and more accurate." The Oracle? Who? Yeah. The Smoked Bint. By the way, Debbi's doing this Eartha Kitt thing with her delivery of the lines. I really have no problem with this at all, but I do keep expecting her to say, "Purrrrr-fect." So, The Source is pissed. Despite all his powers and all he knows about the Glamorous Ladies, he still can't beat them? D'Eartha respectfully supposes that the Power of Three trumps whatever The Source can bring into battle. The Source decides that if that's the case, he'll harness "the ultimate power" and use that to kill the Halliwells. D'Eartha's aghast. "But that's forbidden!" she gasps. "The Hollow has been banished for all eternity. If you unleash it, we all could die." She pleads with him to reconsider. The Source pretty much tells her to cram it. "With The Hollow, I will render the witches powerless," he promises, "then I will destroy them -- even if it means destroying us all." Pardon me for butting in here, but that's really no way to run an Eeevil empire. It's just so -- I don't know -- idiotic of him to believe that nuking the Ladies with a force that will turn right around and nuke him back is somehow a Good Idea. It's like unleashing smallpox as a biological weapon. Yeah, you'll kill off a good number of people on the other side, but chances are pretty good you'll decimate your own population. Whatever. I'm reading far too much into this, and roaming pretty far afield to boot, so we'll just veer right back into the episode, shall we? D'Eartha appears to be as confused as I am with The Source's plan of attack; she silently contemplates the implications as we shoot into the credits.
Manor dining room. Piper slides a manila folder Doltwards at the table. The folder contains what apparently is Piper's will, which leaves everything to the Dolt should The Source attack again and manage to off all of the Charmed Ones. For some reason, Piper wants the Dolt to sign it. I realize wills must be witnessed, but is it really such a good idea to have the primary beneficiary be that witness? ["Individuals named in a will can't serve as witnesses to it. I know this isn't a Court TV program, but that's pretty basic, Mr. Spelling." -- Sars] Shouldn't she have had her lawyer sign in place of the Dolt as soon as the will was finalized? It doesn't matter. The whole conversation is simply an excuse to bring up the fact that, barring the appearance of a Darklighter in the fifty years or so, the Dolt is certain to outlive all of the current Ps. So, you know, don't be surprised when tonight's guest Darklighter shows up within the fifty minutes to rip the Dolt a new one. Phoebe and Cole have entered during this discussion, and finally get Piper's attention when Cole whistles shrilly. Phoebe's managed to work out a vanquishing spell to rid them of The Source once and for all. "Our ancestors," Phoebe explains, handing a slip of paper to Piper. "That's what we were missing. If we draw upon the magic of the entire Halliwell line..." "We might have enough power to vanquish The Source," Piper concludes for her. No, I don't know how they're going to call upon the magic of three hundred years' worth of dead witches and focus it on an enemy, so don't ask me. The Dolt orbs out immediately to inform The Powers That Be, to Piper's considerable dismay. He left without signing the will, you see.
Phoebe berates Piper for continuing with her "last will and testament kick," which Phoebe finds "morbid." Yeah, I'd like to see you define the word "morbid" for all of us, sweetheart. Piper counters that her actions are "responsible." If The Late Lamented hadn't drawn up a will, Piper and Phoebe "would still be dealing with lawyers." Piper glances over to Cole and adds, "No offense." None taken, as Cole's finally "come to terms with [his Eeevil] past." So, you know, don't be surprised when he ends up having an Eeevil future before we're through with tonight's episode. Phoebe sticks to the topic at hand, insisting that no one is going to die any time soon. She crosses to Cole's other side, presumably because the blocking offers Phoebe an excuse to run a hand along his back. She is, of course, flung into a vision. This one's of Scott Weiland of the Stone Temple Pilots after a freebasing accident on the scale of Richard Pryor's misfortune twenty years ago, and yes, DJN, I owe you a Mighty Big Beer for that one. Or a Beer Without Pity. Your choice. In any event, because we all saw the previews, we all know that it's actually The Source without his hooded cowl. The right side of his face is a clotted tangle of poorly-healed scar tissue. The left side features a shiny beetle eye and half a goatee. The vision is black-and-white, save for the FBOD hovering above The Source's right hand. As The Source wings the FBOD at Phoebe, Cole darts in front of her and takes the FBOD in his back. Phoebe snaps out of it and covers for her momentary lapse by faking a hiccup. Faking a few more, she asks to speak with Piper alone in the kitchen. Piper rises to follow Phoebe into the other room.
Once there, Phoebe fills Piper in on the details. However, these two didn't see the previews, so they don't know it's The Source. As the vision took place in the attic, Phoebe proposes they find some excuse to get Cole out of the Manor until they can deal with the latest dark demonic force to traipse through her dim little skull. Piper doesn't think much of this idea, as Cole's expertise in matters demonic can help them identify the foreseen adversary. Besides, should Phoebe really be keeping secrets from her fiancé? Phoebe insists, noting that Cole has refused to stay out of harm's way in the past and will most certainly refuse to do so now. Eventually, Piper relents. "I'll let [Raige] know what's up," she tells Phoebe, "as long as you're sure..."
"Trust me," Raige announces over at THE BLACK HOLE OF SOCIAL SERVICES. "I'm sure." Isn't that clever? That little thing they just did there? Yeah, well, it quickly gets tedious the eight times they do it this episode. Raige is in a conference with Detective Darryl and some woman with fried hair, a hideous multi-colored knit top, and an upper lip that appears to have been mauled by a collagen-wielding pack of rabid plastic surgeons. The woman, who remains nameless for this initial exchange, lost custody of her son after a period during which she was constantly ripped to the tits while being smacked around by an abusive boyfriend. She's been "clean and sober for two years," the abusive boyfriend is long gone from the scene, and she now works as a clerk in The Loneliest Precinct House In The World. Raige and Darryl are helping her regain custody of her son from the state. The woman's nervous about the upcoming hearing, but Raige assures her that everything will be fine. Just then, Raige's cell phone chirps. She excuses herself from the conference room to find Piper on the other end of the line.
Piper, whispering into the cordless so as not to be overheard by Cole, gives Raige the lowdown on the new demon in their lives. Raige snits something about having more pressing matters to attend to at THE BLACK HOLE. Meanwhile, Phoebe's concocted a tale of engine problems in the Halliwell SUV. She wants Cole to take it to a garage to have the engine fixed. Cole sees right through this deception, but agrees to leave the Manor as long as Phoebe later tells him what's really going on. Phoebe nods her head at this, pecks him on the lips, and sees him out the front door. Back at THE BLACK HOLE, Raige refuses Piper's request to return to the Manor immediately. The events in Phoebe's premonition occurred at night, so there's no reason Raige should abandon "Carolyn" and her custody hearing that afternoon. They named the chick with the fried hair Carolyn? Way too easy. As Raige continues nattering into her cell, Darryl and Collagyn emerge from the office behind Raige. Piper rolls her eyes and allows Raige to attend to her professional responsibilities before heading back to the house to attend to her witchy ones. For some odd reason, they've completely abandoned the practice of camouflaging Holly Marie Combs's wrist tattoos with watches and bracelets. The tattoos are pretty tame, so I don't know why they bothered covering them up in the first place. Anyway, Raige thanks Piper and hangs up. Collagyn furrows her brow, which somehow escaped the plastic surgeons' attack unscathed by Botox, and asks Raige if everything's all right. Raige simply smiles and promises to meet up with Collagyn and Darryl at the courthouse in time for the hearing at three. Collagyn deems Raige "my angel," and the two women hug.
Somewhere, um, else, Caprice Benedetti of Practical Magic "fame" (snicker) serenely contemplates a chessboard. She's done up in white robes, and a little neon halo hovers over her head. Her companion, a black-clad gent with peroxided hair moussed all to hell above his Frankensteinian forehead, growls, "Just make a damned move already!" "You're just upset because good is winning," Caprice replies. Lord. Why, when tossed together, do the forces of good and Eeevil always play chess? And good always plays white? I just saw this scene in that shitty remake of Bedazzled. Do these people have some huge hairy problem with Scrabble? Or poker? Caprice, who is quite the gorgeous woman in a way strikingly reminiscent of Capucine -- and yes, I watch way too much E! -- chides her companion for lacking the virtue of patience. He replies along the lines of having had 3,500 years to practice the virtue of patience, and he's getting pretty sick of it. Caprice orbs her queen across the board. I know to nothing about chess, but even I can tell Caprice isn't winning this game. Not at all. Caprice's companion -- whom I'll call "Spike" for simplicity's sake -- smashes his remaining bishop into her queen and takes the lead with a bit of a snark. Caprice pouts as The Source blazes into the middle of a bonfire they've lit for warmth. Or for pleasantly decorative purposes. I have no way of knowing which reason is the correct one. Hell, I still don't even know where we are. Caprice clues me in by approaching The Source and announcing in a tone that brooks no dispute, "You need to leave immediately. This place is an ancient burial ground." So, the fire would be for warmth then, right? Anyway, Spike joins Caprice in calling for The Source's immediate exit from the premises. By the way, now that we can see his head in color, I should probably mention that his skin is a putrescent green. Not nearly as vibrant as the green of The Wicked Witch Of The West, but not as pallid as the greenish tinge of some who are jaundiced. Were I a pathologist studying the effects of erosion on the human body, I'm certain I could speak with more authority on this matter, but it looks like he's rotting.
The Source yells at Spike a bit for forgetting "whose side [he's] on." Caprice corrects The Source: "There are no sides. We protect all magic. That is the agreement." The Source feints, as if in acquiescence to Caprice's demands, then hurls one of his FBODs into her chest. Caprice howls and wails. After she's disappeared in a veil of fire, her neon halo clatters to the ground. It spins around for a bit before disappearing as well. "The agreement's just been revoked," The Source intones. Damn, Source. Why you gotta be that way? I finally sort of enjoy watching a tertiary character on this show, and you go fry her ass. Tool. Spike screams, "Die!" and zaps The Source with a bolt of blue lightning. The Source falls to the ground, but quickly recovers. Spike begs desperately, "Please. The Hollow is a threat to us all. Its power is too great." The Source raises a gnarled hand to Spike's face and replies, "That's exactly the kind of power I need." The Source tosses Spike across the room and stalks over to a set of cast iron crypt-like doors. He stretches his arms out in front of him, and with great effort forces the doors open telekinetically. A blinding blue light fills the room as we get a look at the hammered-tin box containing The Hollow. For reasons far beyond my comprehension, the side of the box has been perforated with the letters "OZ." The Source mojos the box slowly into his hands, then turns to face Spike. Spike screams, "No! The Hollow consumes powers!" Well, thanks for that bit of information, Spike. Old pal. The Source opens the lid, and a cloud of black pellets rises to enter Spike through his eyes and mouth. If you've seen the swarm of bees swirling out of Candyman's every orifice in his eponymous movie, you'll know what it looks like. And if you haven't seen Candyman, go rent it. Once The Hollow has settled completely into Spike's head, The Source seethes, "And now you can steal powers and give them to me." DUN!
Manor attic. Phoebe and Piper leaf through the Book of Shadows, searching for an entry on a demon fitting The Source's premonition-sent description. They aren't having much luck. Piper exits to fetch some coffee, leaving Phoebe alone with the Book. The Spollow squiggles into the attic just as Piper leaves. He snaps an open palm in Phoebe's direction, sending her tumbling backwards through the air to crash into a large mirror. Piper scuttles back into the attic and tosses her hands into attack position. The Spollow absorbs the blow, winks out for a second, then rematerializes with a coy, "Thank you." Piper quickly realizes that something is very wrong and dives for a dagger on a nearby table as The Spollow blows up a sewing machine behind her. Piper flings the dagger at him, nailing him right in his neck. The Spollow explodes, leaving behind a cloud of Hollow pellets where he stood. The pellets buzz and hum and disappear en masse beneath the floorboards. "Did you see that?" Piper asks. Phoebe doesn't respond, choosing instead to plow Fun-Bags-first into the carpet. Great shards of the shattered mirror protrude from her spine. I mutter, "Well, it's a good start," as we cut to commercial.
Back from the break, the Dolt removes a jagged and "blood-streaked" piece of glass from Phoebe's back. From the way the "blood" is clumping on the mirrored surface, it's so obviously Caro syrup mixed with red dye that I can practically taste it. The Dolt discards the shard in the trash, then moves his hands over Phoebe's wounds to administer the Whitelighter tingly touch. Piper wonders why the healing process is taking so long. The Dolt replies that Phoebe "almost died." Presently, the rips in Phoebe's white rayon blouse disappear along with the bloodstains. Phoebe groans and asks what happened. Piper tells her about the "scary" demon and the cloud of pellets, then shoves a glass vase into the Dolt's hands, ordering him to toss it into the air. He does so as the shot switches to slow motion. The vase tumbles in the air for a moment before the shot switches again to catch Piper and the vase from below. Piper flings out her hands, to no effect. The vase shatters into the camera lens. Piper announces, "My powers are gone." Yeah, but your hair is fabulous. Seriously: Piper's hair has never been better. It's all glossy and healthy and bouncy, and I keep expecting her to swing into a pitch for Nutrience conditioning shampoos. She tosses her stunning mane around as she heads over to the Book of Shadows to figure out what just happened, leaving Phoebe to whine about The Source a bit to the Dolt.
Piper of course immediately opens the Book to the appropriate entry. The watercolor illustration is presumably of Spike and Caprice, but his rendering makes him look like Ewan McGregor, and hers makes her look like a slut from a Whitesnake video. The entry identifies them as "Guardians Of The Hollow." The Dolt crosses to Piper, guessing that Spike was possessed. He exposits that The Hollow, when last released "eons ago," nearly "decimated all magic -- all things." The forces of good and Eeevil had to set aside their differences to overcome it, and even with their best efforts, they were merely able to "contain" it. Since that time, The Hollow has been locked away. "So if good and [Eeevil] are seeing eye-to-eye on this one, who released it?" asks Phoebe. Piper um-duhs, "The Source, you halfwit." Or a reasonable approximation thereof. The three quickly realize that The Source will infect other underlings with The Hollow and have them return to the Manor to abscond with Phoebe and Raige's powers as well. To protect their remaining powers, Piper proposes that they whip up a few potions that imitate those powers' effects. The Dolt agrees with this, orders them to have Raige return to the Manor immediately, and orbs out to break the news to TPTB. TPTB really are worthless if they don't already know what's been going on. The reason for their existence, again? Because I'm just not getting it. Anyway, Phoebe begins, "On a scale of one to bad..."
"This is very bad," Raige finishes, over at the courthouse. Her lip gloss is blinding. Long story short, Collagyn's hearing takes place in minutes, and Collagyn is nowhere to be found. "God, I hope her ex didn't find her," Raige breathes. Phoebe rings Raige's cell at that moment to inform her of the "demonic emergency" at the house. Raige begs Darryl to "pull some strings" to postpone the custody hearing for a few hours. What? The hearing as originally scheduled was for three in the afternoon. The goddamned courthouse is going to be empty in a few hours. And where the hell is Collagyn's lawyer? Why is the woman depending upon a police inspector and a glorified secretary to represent her interests in a custody proceeding? Something tells me Collagyn's still hitting the pipe on the sly. Darryl reluctantly agrees to do his best, and Raige leaves.
Manor kitchen. Piper and Phoebe play with potion ingredients while ruminating on the possibility that Piper "jinxed" them all with the will. Cole strides in, wondering if it's okay for him to be back at the house. Phoebe mumbles a bit in reply, but Piper tells her to cram it. "We need his help," she notes, and turns her attention back to the pot simmering on the stove. Phoebe hesitantly wanders around to approach Cole, spluttering out the details of her vision. Cole's none too pleased that she withheld this information from him earlier; he actually seems to be wounded by Phoebe's decision to keep him in the dark. Piper instructs them to cut the crap and get to the bit about the demon's appearance. Phoebe describes him thusly: "Creepy, half-face. His good side had tribal markings a bit like..." "Belthazor," Cole guesses. Phoebe confirms this, and I am forced to disagree. Belthazor had those black lines running all over his face. The Source has a dinky little crop-circle tattoo on his forehead. Phoebe asks Cole if the gent from her premonition works for The Source. "He doesn't work for The Source," Cole grits. "He is The Source." Yeah, we know, doll. Move it along. Cole reveals The Source's face was disfigured in the battle to wrest control of Hell from his predecessor, and adds that only "upper-level demons" have seen The Source without his hood. Piper too-casually mentions the release of The Hollow, which only serves to amp up Cole's apprehension that much more. The three exchange Looks Of Concern as the shot cuts away to Hell.
The Source regards a clay amphora on a stand for a moment, then stretches his hand towards it. The vessel immediately explodes into CGI shards that hang suspended in the air as the effects shot circles in and around them. It's a pretty cool effect. Unfortunately, it was far cooler when it first appeared in that Gap ad five years ago. Now it's simply overused. The Source notes with delight the strength of Piper's purloined powers, and vows not to stop until he has "all three of their powers coursing through [his] veins." Those of you attempting to keep track of the convoluted universe this show's staff has created might want to make note of that: Three powers. So somehow Phoebe's levitation and premonition are simply two manifestations of the same power, as were The Late Lamented's telekinesis and astral projection. I'll leave it to the gang on the boards to tease out some sort of rational explanation for that, as at this point I'm certain that rationality has never made the acquaintance of the Charmed production staff. D'Eartha emerges from the shadows to piss all over The Source's parade. "No one wins while The Hollow roams free," she avers. The Source assures her that he has complete control of the thing. D'Eartha begs to differ. "The more magic [The Hollow] absorbs, the stronger it becomes -- and the more you extract from it, the more it corrupts you until it consumes all things. Including you." D'Eartha, sweetie, that makes no sense whatsoever. I get the part where it becomes more powerful the more magic it absorbs, and I'm with you on its ability to corrupt The Source, but you lost me with the bit where corruption of The Source leads to Armageddon for all magical beings. The Hollow appears to be able to exist without a host body, so once it's been unleashed, what the hell does corruption of The Source have to do with anything? Jesus. Whatever. I know I'm putting more thought into this than the "writers" did, so let's just drop it.
The Source makes threatening noises at D'Eartha, who subserviently drops her head, promising to support The Source in whatever he chooses to do. The Source then summons David Blaine, who materializes in a geyser of black smoke. Okay, it's not really David Blaine, but this guy looks enough like him to make me snicker at the memory of the Super Best Friends episode of South Park. David Blaine's a Darklighter, by the way. The Source orders him to off the Dolt. Before David Blaine can smoke on up to the Manor, though, The Source pushes his face into The Hollow's tin box. The swarm of black pellets shoots into Blaine's eyes and mouth as he howls in pain and tries to pull away. Once The Hollow has vanished into Blaine's head, The Source also instructs him to return to Hell with "a little gift." The Bollow sneers conspiratorially. D'Eartha regards this all silently, though from the dark expression on her face, we know she's going to do something drastic to The Source before the end of the evening.
Manor kitchen. Raige, clad in a hideous and distracting lace black top under which she appears to be wearing nothing more than a flesh-toned bra, arranges a circle of crystals on the floor. At least, I hope she's slung those boobs of hers into a flesh-toned bra. If I get a glimpse of one of her nipples through that thing, my head will explode. Piper's succeeded in concocting a potion that mimics her lost explosive power, and Phoebe has her little ancestors spell at the ready. The Dolt orbs in urgently to blurt out, "The Source released The Hollow." "Already on that train, honey," Piper replies. Snerk. The Dolt's not completely useless, however; he tells Piper that the only way to rein in The Hollow is for a force of good to join with a force of Eeevil to read the inscription on The Hollow's tin box. Phoebe frets that this information will be of use only if The Source drags the box along with him and the Ps can somehow find a willing force of Eeevil. Raige perks something about Belthazor that no one, particularly Cole, finds appropriate. Raige's cell rings, and she clomps into the dining room to take the call.
Darryl's on the line from The Loneliest Precinct House In The World. Collagyn sits on a chair behind him, gently daubing her face with a tissue. She looks like someone grabbed her by her fried split ends and repeatedly whacked her face into a brick wall. I can't say it's not an improvement on her appearance. Seems Collagyn's abusive ex found his way into her apartment. He's in jail, and she'll be fine, but her hearing's within the hour. Given Collagyn's history, she has about as much of a chance to regain custody of her son as Greta Van Susteren has of salvaging her reputation after going public about her FOX-financed plastic surgery. Darryl and Raige worry themselves just sick over this latest development, then hang up on each other. The Dolt wanders in to tell Raige she's needed in the kitchen. "You know, [Dolt], I have my charges too," she snipes, just as The Bollow smokes into the front hall. Raige calls out a warning, but The Bollow nails the Dolt in the stomach with an arrow from the Darklighter crossbow. Yes! The Dolt-kebab snipers to the floor. Raige shoots out her hand and screams, "Crossbow!" as Cole races in from the other room. He shouts something about her powers, but it's too late. Blaine winks out for a moment as the Hollow pellets suck up the orbing telekinesis. Blaine then winks back in as Piper and Phoebe arrive to join the fun. Piper immediately crosses to the Dolt-kebab as Phoebe shouts a warning to Raige. Raige ducks behind a wall. The Bollow lets loose another arrow in Raige's direction, but it embeds itself harmlessly in the woodwork by the stairs. Phoebe hurls a vial of Piper's latest potion at The Bollow, who howls and explodes. The Hollow holds Blaine's shape for a moment, then swarms out of the Manor. The Dolt-kebab pants and moans and wheezes as Piper glares at the oncoming commercial break.
Manor parlor. The Dolt-kebab sweats on the sofa. Piper's pushed the arrow through his back during the commercial break, and now grips the protruding shaft to rip it out of his body entirely. The Dolt screams and sweats and pants some more. Brian Krause really needs to avoid scenes in which his character is in emotional or physical pain. Whenever he grimaces or cries, he looks like a tow-headed chimpanzee. Raige moves to take the arrow from Piper's hand. Piper yells at her, "Don't touch that. You're a Whitelighter too." Piper tosses the arrow onto the coffee table and proposes that the Dolt trade powers with Phoebe so that Phoebe can heal his injury. Apparently, this is something they've done in the past. If so, it happened before I started watching this show, because I can't for the life of me recall this ever happening. In any event, the Dolt rejects this suggestion; if The Source appears, Phoebe will need control of her own powers to fight him. Piper's carefully maintained composure begins to fray. She orders Raige to work with Phoebe on finding some other way to heal the Dolt -- "a potion, an amulet, a spell. Whatever." Piper and the Dolt share a tender moment that leaves me unmoved. Shouldn't he be dead by now?
Raige storms over to the sun porch. Phoebe gently shakes her head to indicate that there's nothing any of them can do to help the Dolt. Raige rages, mouthing off about Phoebe's apparent passivity in the face of Source-sent death. Cole tells her to calm down. The Glamorous Ladies haven't been defeated yet. Raige rails that The Source knew the gals would be prepared for a fight, so he sent something up to steal their powers. He also knew that the Dolt could heal them should they injure themselves in battle, so The Source sent something to take care of him as well. "He knows what we're going to do before we even do!" Raige pouts. Phoebe weakly offers, "I still have my power." "Great," Raige replies. "Two down..."
"One to go," sneers The Source. Behind him, D'Eartha's gazing into the future in that cloudy-eyed way of hers. "What do you see?" The Source asks as he sets the OZ down on a table. "Nothing," is the reply. "I see nothing. No magic. No life. No world. The Hollow will consume everything." The Source snarks that if there's no future, then he doesn't need D'Eartha hanging around anymore, does he? D'Eartha pleads with him to find another way to kill the gals. The Source is having none of this arguing, and threatens once more to get rid of D'Eartha. She dials it back, promising to "serve [him] even until the end," but we all know she's lying. The Source entrusts her with The Hollow as he blazes out to recruit another demon to steal Phoebe's powers. D'Eartha grips the OZ, and the milky cataracts roll back into her eyes.
Up -- way up -- in the Manor, Piper and the Dolt have a brief scene wherein he urges her to flee the Manor and she promises to remain by his side even unto death. Yawn.
Bimbo Boudoir. Cole rifles through his jackets in the closet and emerges with a small box. Phoebe barges in to look for her "potion book," but stops dead in her tracks when she sees what Cole has in his hands. And now we enter the love-among-the-ruins portion of the evening's entertainment. Cole presents Phoebe with a new engagement ring to replace the one she threw down the drain. Where he got the money for it, I'll never know. Phoebe urges him to flee the Manor. Cole promises to remain by her side even unto death. I admire the fact that Cole's bluish-grey turtleneck really brings out his eyes.
Down in the hall, the doorbell rings. Raige strides over to answer it, batting aside Piper's concern that "now is not the time for guests." It's Darryl and Collagyn, called to the Manor by Raige so that she can attempt to set things right as far as the custody case is concerned. Raige asks Darryl to escort Collagyn to the sun porch. Piper bitches Raige out for having screwed-up priorities during a time of crisis. Raige coolly tells Piper to stow it. Helping Collagyn might be Raige's last opportunity to do something good in this life, and she's going to take advantage of that opportunity whether Piper approves or not. Having delivered this little speech, Raige spins on her heel and joins Darryl and Collagyn in the other room. Darryl senses something amiss, but Raige tells him not to worry about it. She instructs Collagyn to face the windows, then crosses to the Book of Shadows on a nearby table. Raige recites the vanishing spell she last used on Billy the Clear. A little Tinkerbell cloud of fairy dust dances across Collagyn's battered face, wiping away the various cuts and abrasions while restoring her make-up. Pity it didn't fix her upper lip as well. Collagyn's delighted, for she cannot afford this sort of Lancôme makeover on her clerk's salary. Darryl urges Raige to let him know what's going on. He's known the Ladies long enough to realize that something is "seriously wrong" if Raige is using magic when it's not strictly necessary. Raige simply shakes her head, telling him to see to it that Collagyn gets her son back. Darryl and Collagyn leave.
Phoebe and Cole enter with a plan to retrieve the powers already lost. Phoebe believes "the spell to call for a witch's powers" might be strong enough to summon The Hollow from Hell. Piper gamely agrees to give it a try. She sends Cole to watch over the Dolt, and heads over to the Book with Phoebe and Raige. Cole perches on the coffee table and stares at the unconscious Dolt for a moment before gasping and wiping out of the scene. He wipes back in down in the Chamber Of D'Eartha. "Where am I?" he demands. "Back in your once and future life," she responds. "Even now I can see the void where your demon half used to exist," she claims. "It longs to be complete again." Cole's not having any of this. He wants to know how she knew he was still alive. The vision D'Eartha had while clutching the OZ revealed that she and Cole were meant to "do great things together." Cole asserts that he no longer consorts with those of a demonic nature. D'Eartha thinks he'll reconsider his position once he's heard what she has to say. The Source has been "corrupted" by The Hollow and must be destroyed. She proposes that Cole absorb The Hollow and return to the Manor to capture The Source's powers, thereby allowing a defenseless Source to be vanquished by the Glamorous Ladies. After all of this, she will place The Hollow back in the OZ and assist in returning it to its crypt. Piper and Raige's powers will be restored, the gals will get The Source monkey off their collective back once and for all, Cole will be able to carry on as his adorable mortal self, and both sides in the battle of good and Eeevil will be assured a future. Cole ponders his options for a moment, then crosses to D'Eartha to accept The Hollow. She flips open the lid, and the swarm of black pellets swoops into his eyes, nose, and mouth. Cole's not as much of a pussy as the Darklighter was about the whole thing, either. He simply gasps a bit before settling down. The camera pans into his face as we hear Piper, Phoebe, and Raige recite the following from sun porch above:
Powers of the witches rise,
Course unseen across the skies.
Come to us who call you near.
Come to us, and settle here.
The furniture rattles as if the Manor were enduring a mild earthquake. The Ps glance around nervously before The Source blazes into the room behind them. There's a bit of the "whuh?" and the "huh?" before the gals realize that the spell summoned The Source because he now possesses their powers. To affirm this, The Source blows up a corner of the hall with Piper's molecular manipulation. The Ps dash through the lower level to the stairs before The Source conjures up an FBOD that he flings into Piper's shoulder. Piper smashes into the drywall beneath the staircase and slumps limply into the loveseat below. The Source grins as we head into another commercial.
Manor attic. Phoebe and Raige lug a half-dead Piper through the door and tote her over to the center of the room. Piper's face is criss-crossed with crimson welts and gashes. As Phoebe and Raige set Piper down on the carpet, Phoebe begs her to gather her strength just long enough for the urgent task at hand. Raige snits, "We have no powers!" Phoebe claims that that's not a problem. The gals can still "make this plan work" without their powers' help. Phoebe orders Raige to arrange the crystals on the floor. Raige sprints across the attic to retrieve the crystals, but The Source blazes in, blocking her path. "Seems almost anticlimactic after all this time," begins The Source. He then hurls Raige into a discarded mattress against the wall. "Say hello to Prue for me," The Source continues, wiggling the fingers on his right hand by way of goodbye. He conjures his version of the FBOD, but Phoebe levitates through the air to land a boot in his chest. The Source drops to the floor. Raige tosses a couple of crystals over to Phoebe, and the two arrange them in a circle around The Source's body. He rises to his feet, needling Phoebe with, "Your power was always the weakest -- hardly worth taking. Your life, however, is." Raige slams the last crystal into place, igniting the force field. Phoebe and Raige dart over to Piper's side as The Source sneers, "Crystal." The force field is broken as one of the crystals orbs into his hand. The Source prepares another FBOD, this one with Phoebe's name written all over it. The Collow squiggles into the attic to scamper over in front of Phoebe. The FBOD disappears into his back. Interestingly enough, Cole doesn't wink out to allow the pellets to absorb The Source's powers. The Collow flings FBOD after FBOD at The Source as the gals recite the ancestor vanquish from the floor.
Piper: Prudence, Patricia, Penelope, Melinda.
Phoebe: Astrid, Helena, Laura, and Grace.
Raige: Halliwell witches, stand strong beside us.
All Three: Vanquish this [Eeevil] from time and space.
A mushrooming fireball engulfs the lower part of The Source's body, pushing him upwards towards the ceiling as a heated wind races through the attic. After a moment, The Source collapses into the flames, which explode in one final burst before disappearing with the demon. We get a matching set of reaction shots from Piper, Phoebe, Raige, and The Collow before D'Eartha rays into the attic with the OZ. She flips open the lid, and The Collow drops to his knees. The Hollow pours from Cole's mouth into the OZ. The first time I saw it, it was pretty effective. By the third time, however, it looked like he was projectile vomiting refried beans. D'Eartha slams the lid shut and calls for Phoebe to join her in reciting the OZ's inscription. Phoebe looks to Cole for guidance. He tells her to trust D'Eartha. Phoebe moves to her side, and the two intone, "Aboleo extium cavium du eternias," which is Latin for, of course, absolutely nothing. The OZ doesn't seem to realize it's gibberish, though. It floats into the air from Phoebe and D'Eartha's hands and emits a blinding white light that sends it straight back to The Hollow's crypt. The cast-iron doors swing shut as the light gradually diminishes and snuffs itself out.
Manor parlor. Raige grabs the Dolt's hand, combining his power with hers to knit up that nasty rip in his sweater. Piper, still sporting those crimson lacerations on her face, joyfully kneels by the Dolt's side. Cole -- or is he? -- trails into the room with D'Eartha. Phoebe thanks D'Eartha for her help. D'Eartha reminds Phoebe that she didn't assist the Glamorous Ladies for their sake, but rather for her own. Raige has a question: If the powers of the Ps reentered their bodies when The Hollow was returned to its crypt, where did the powers of The Source go? Not to mention Spike and Blaine, though Raige neglects to include these two in her query. D'Eartha smiles and answers with a hint of mock-innocence, "Into the void." Get it? Don't worry. They're certain to beat us with this little plot development until our skulls cave in before the season's out. D'Eartha rays back down to Hell. "Who was that?" Phoebe asks. Cole gets a delightfully devilish glint in his eye and smirks, "That was a very [Eeevil] person."
P3. The Dolt grabs a cheese plate from the bar and hoists it over to the Ps' table. The ladies enjoy Perrier-brand bottled water while the Dolt swigs on a Foster's. They toast to the memory of The Late Lamented, and what did I just tell you about toasting with non-alcoholic beverages? Don't come moaning to me when it all ends in bitterness and tears, ladies. The Dolt drags Piper back to the Manor to engage in some unspeakable acts up in the Bridal Boudoir. Cole straggles in, looking mighty fine in a black jacket over a rust-colored shirt. Eeevil agrees with him, apparently. At the very least, it improves upon his fashion sense. What? Oh, shut up. Like I'm spoiling anything with that. Anyway, Raige spots a likely candidate for Mr. Right Now over at the bar, and excuses herself to go get her some. Cole and Phoebe natter for a bit before embracing. "You're my hero," Phoebe asserts. "Oh," Cole sighs over her shoulder, "I'm nobody's hero." Cole's eyes roll back into his head, shifting from white to blood red to shiny, buggy black as we fade out.
week, a little old lady smacks Cole in the teeth. The little old lady should be smacking Phoebe for that hideous new hairstyle she's sporting in the previews. Have fun.