Again, no "previouslys" this week, as we're tossed right into the middle of a very busy P3 After Dark. Bland, anonymous techno throbs in the background as Piper Halliwell works the bar, her hair in an upswept tangle. Leo Wyatt appears, looking rather fetching in a pale blue v-neck sweater, and works his way over to her. "I knew you'd come back," she says, smiling, and we know something's a little off, as Piper's a bit too blasé about his reappearance in light of Leo's tortured exit from the preempted wedding in last week's episode. Leo tells her they need to talk, but she counters with, "Leo, you haven't kissed me in over a week. Don't you think that takes priority?" He rolls his eyes and sighs as she steps from behind the bar into his arms. They kiss briefly, but Piper pulls away, sensing something wrong. Leo admits he's come to say goodbye, this time for good. The Powers That Be caught them red-handed trying to circumvent the rules, and Leo can never see Piper again. This episode just started, and I'm already bored. The eeriness dial gets turned up to eleven, as the standard-issue techno rises in volume, blending with the other background bar noise into a overwhelming din. Piper and Leo sound like they're calling to each other from opposite ends of an echo chamber as he backs away from her, telling her he shouldn't even be there. Piper has increasing difficulty making out what he's saying as Leo backs into the center of a group of partying yuppies. He mouths "I love you" and orbs out, to the faux consternation of the yuppie extras. Piper calls for him with increasing panic in her voice as the extras swirling around her are distorted and tilted in a small example of the unspecial effects on this show. Prue barrels through them in slow motion calling for her younger sister, and, once she gets a hold of Piper, shakes her, telling her to wake up.
Cut to Piper's boudoir at Halliwell Manor, as she starts awake to be greeted by Prue's concern. "Leo's not coming back," she manages to choke out through her tears, and Prue attempts to comfort her, noting that "it was just a dream." Piper falls further apart as she insists it was real and curses The Powers That Be, guessing that destroying lives is how "they" amuse themselves. Prue cautions her against such criticism, but Piper isn't having it, noting that "they" "couldn't hurt [her] more than they already have." Prue pulls Piper into a hug as we cut to Phoebe, tooling through town in the sisters' SUV, jamming to what I suppose is one of this week's product-placed musical "artists." The cell phone in the car rings, and Phoebe answers with, "Don't you just love cell phones?" Prue attempts a perky, "Hi, it's me," but Phoebe catches the undertone in Prue's voice. "It's amazing how much stress you can project with so few words, Prue," she notes, and promises to have the car back in one piece momentarily. Prue reveals she didn't call about the car, she called out of concern for Piper. Prue fills Phoebe in on the dream, but before Phoebe can ask for further details, she's startled by something that suddenly appeared in her headlights. She yodels, of course, and swerves to avoid it. It's a little girl, standing in the middle of the street in the middle of the night in her nightclothes, clutching a small jewelry box.
Phoebe curtly cuts the phone conversation short and leaps from the car. Running up to the child, Phoebe asks her if she's okay. The moppet replies with a rant against an unseen antagonist: "You can't have it! Leave me alone!" As Phoebe looks around at the empty air the moppet has been addressing, the child spins on her heel and darts off into the night. Phoebe gives chase as the moppet sprints up the sidewalk and across a yard, only to be knocked to the ground by the unseen force she was presumably screaming at. Garbled and menacing grunts as she struggles to keep hold of the jewelry box. The entity smacks her around; then claws rip open the shoulder of her jacket. Phoebe rushes up and pulls the moppet into a comforting embrace as the moppet sobs weakly in Phoebe's arms. Phoebe makes note of the reddened claw marks on the moppet's shoulder and casts a wary glance around them as we cut to the credits.
The Polish Princess helpfully informed me that one of the conceits of this show's credit sequence is that it features only those main characters who will make an appearance in the episode. So, no Darryl again tonight, but this doesn't necessarily mean Dorian Gregory is cooling his heels on an unemployment line. Yet.
Manor kitchen. Phoebe places a mug of some sort of hot liquid and a bowl of cookies in front of the sullen moppet sulking at the kitchen table. Sullen Moppet is still clutching the jewelry box as Piper and Prue enter, wondering what information Phoebe's been able to get from the child. "Name, rank, and serial number," Phoebe replies, and Piper notes that Sullen Moppet's parents are on their way to pick her up. Phoebe moves to grab the car keys to retrieve Sullen Moppet's torn jacket from the SUV, then stops when she notices they're missing. "The fairies probably hid them," the moppet sulks, then apologizes, as she's not supposed to talk to anyone about the fairies. This comment sparks the interest of the three Ps, and Phoebe tries to elicit more fairy-related information from Sullen Moppet, who clams up. The doorbell interrupts the interrogation. Prue goes to answer as Piper tells Sullen Moppet, "That's probably your mom and dad." "He's not my dad," she snits back. "He's just my mom's new husband." Child-of-divorce angst. Joy.
Prue greets the Sullen Moppet's parents, and they ask how "Kate" is. Prue reassures them she's fine as Kate runs into the hallway from the kitchen, yelling at her parents to get out of the doorway. "It's the In-Between," she shrieks. "Get out of the In-Between." Kate's parents move inside the house, attempting to get the kid to shut up before she reveals even more of her mental instability to a trio of strangers. Phoebe asks what an "In-Between" is, and Kate insists it's a place "where the trolls are." Kate's mother kneels and brushes Kate's hair out of her face as she tells her she's too old to believe in trolls and fairies. She rises and informs the Ps that Kate's had problems since the divorce. "She's regressed to the imaginary-friend stage." Bastard Stepdad steps in to cut off this unnecessary flow of personal information, thanks the sisters again for their help, and picks Kate up to carry her out the door. We get a Kate POV of the doorway, which reveals a grimacing little gremlin clinging to the jamb, muttering a strangled threat. I giggle, and start humming the Underpants Gnomes' song from South Park to myself. Phoebe senses Kate's distress, but sees nothing. More Kate POV as Bastard Stepdad eases her out of the house past the snarling little beast. Kate's mother thanks the Halliwells again, and follows them out the door. Prue shuts it, and we cut to a kettle being placed on the stove in the kitchen.
The sisters discuss the situation. Piper can't believe Phoebe accepts the moppet's story at face value. "Do you think it's time we told her about Santa?" she asks Prue. Snicker. Piper and Phoebe snipe at each other, Piper attempting to find a rational explanation for the scratches on Kate's arm and Phoebe insisting they were claw marks inflicted by some supernatural force. Prue steps between them before the argument escalates into a full-scale hair-pulling catfight, and suggests they discuss it in the morning. Piper allows that perhaps fairies and trolls do exist, but reminds Phoebe of the analysis offered by Kate's mother herself: the problem started with the divorce, and is therefore "psychological, not magic." Phoebe pouts that she's going to check the Book of Shadows anyway, as the Scorpio in her refuses to be "out-stubborned" by Piper's Gemini. Shut up, Phoebe.
Cut to the Supernatural Home of Family Dysfunction, where Kate is being tucked into bed by her preternaturally patient mother. MammaMoppet moves to flick off the light switch, to Kate's panicked resistance. "The tweens!" Kate shouts. "They come out of the shadows." MammaMoppet isn't buying it, of course; she switches off the lights, and closes the door. As if this girl isn't going to run up enough therapy bills in her future with the divorce, she's now got this additional bit of parental neglect to add to her neuroses. As the door creaks ominously closed, the eerie soundtrack kicks in. Kate nervously eyes her menacing Garfield wall clock as the garbled threats of the trolls circle around her from the shadows of her bedroom. I'm with you on this one, Kate. Garfield scares the crap out of me. "Please," she begs, "leave us alone," and she clutches the jewelry box tighter against her stomach. The invisible trolls flit around her darkened room, knocking her toys about. When they ease open the closet door, Kate lets out a scream.
Cut to Halliwell Manor the morning. Phoebe's in the attic, sitting on the floor, wearing a satin pink paisley kerchief over her braided hair with a patterned pink top and burgundy slacks. This terrifies me more than the gnome hanging on the doorframe the evening. Or the Garfield clock. "Check this out," she says to the entering Prue, and hands over a sheaf of papers. They're the sisters' childhood crayoned drawings of a fairy named Lily. Prue waxes nostalgic as she perches on a trunk, noting she had completely forgotten about their imaginary friend. Phoebe explains that the reason for this: as they grew up, they could no longer see fairies and trolls. Phoebe reads from a book entitled The Enchanted Realm: "Fairies, elves, and trolls are mystical creatures that live in a realm parallel to ours, but separated by a thin veil -- a thin veil that lifts only in Tween Places." Prue's a bit skeptical as Phoebe continues to explain. Tween Places are the points in between two separate realms -- doorways, windows, and shadows, for example -- and Phoebe notes that that was what Kate meant when she warned against the In-Between. Prue astutely notes Kate was not in an In-Between when Phoebe found her, which leads Phoebe to explain Kate was actually in the largest In-Between of them all: the midnight hour, when the entire world becomes a Tween. Prue then wonders why the BoS has no information on all of this, and Phoebe says that the BoS was written by adults. As fairies and the like are visible to children only, the Ps' foremothers would not be able as adults to place relevant information in the book. Prue wonders why the trolls would be after Kate, Phoebe states they'll need to question the sullen moppet more on the matter, Prue suggests the two of them deal with this without the help of the lovelorn Piper, and Phoebe insists that this little adventure is the best thing for Piper, as it will take her mind off of Leo. Prue doesn't seem comfortable with this plan of attack, as Phoebe bounds off downstairs with the Lily drawings to answer the phone.
"It's your little lawyer boyfriend," Piper snarks, and hands the phone to Phoebe. Phoebe waves the Lily drawings in Piper's face, then passes them to her as she takes the phone, countering, "He's not my boyfriend." "Who's not your boyfriend?" Cole Turner asks, sending Phoebe stuttering for a lame excuse. She mumbles out something about the mailman, and asks Cole how he is. "Well, it's a beautiful morning, and I've got a beautiful woman on the phone, so things could be worse." He winces at his own sophomoric attempt at sweet talk, and says he sounds "like Billy Appleby." Phoebe halts at this, and asks him to repeat himself. He tries to shrug it off, explaining that Billy Appleby is a character in a hokey movie he watched one too many times when he was a kid. "Kill It Before It Dies," Phoebe and Cole say in unison, and we see that Cole has a detail-laden dossier on Phoebe, including a highlighted line that notes this is her favorite film. Because I like to be thorough for you people, Phoebe's other favorites are listed as Botticelli's "The Birth of Venus," Austen's Sense and Sensibility, and the Verve's "Bittersweet Symphony." This sassy Scorpio also digs martial arts, arts and crafts, and surfing. Just so you know. Cole expresses regret that the movie's not playing at a revival house somewhere, otherwise he'd take her to see it. I pull up the search function on the Internet Movie Database, and learn this movie never played in any house -- revival or first-run -- because it doesn't exist. Phoebe pulls the phone away from her ear and mouths "I love you" into the receiver. Hee.
Cole asks her out for dinner that evening instead as he flips past Phoebe's résumé to reveal the map of the manor's attic also in his dossier, with the location of the BoS noted in the center. You little devil, Cole. Before Phoebe can accept the offer, Prue scampers down the stairs to pull Phoebe off the phone before Piper can leave the house. Phoebe begs off the evening's invitation, tells Cole she'll meet him at P3AD later, and hangs up. Cole slams his phone down, shuts the leather-bound dossier, and waves his hand over it, causing it to flare up and disappear. Menacing strings in the background as Cole knits his brows in irritation.
Cut to Piper, grabbing her car keys from the sideboard. "Comical" back-and-forth scuttling ensues as Prue and Phoebe block Piper's way as they attempt to convince her of the existence of fairies, offering the Lily drawings as proof. Piper shuts them down, insisting that the drawings were the result of one sister's overactive imagination, with the other two copying the first. Prue reveals she believes Kate is in "our kind of trouble," and Piper responds that she disagrees with that assessment. She then goes on to note that even if she did believe the other two, TPTB have caused her nothing but strife, and she's no longer inclined to help them out. In short, she's on strike. Piper muscles her way past Prue and Phoebe and pouts her way out the front door.
Cut to the Supernatural Home of Family Dysfunction, where Kate is coloring in a childishly-executed drawing of claw-fingered, bald-headed trolls in a cave. One appears to be strangling a fish, for whatever that's worth. Bastard Stepdad ushers Prue and Phoebe into the bedroom. They've ostensibly dropped by to return Kate's torn jacket, but Prue is also toting the Lily drawings. Once they're left alone with Kate, Prue tries to get the sullen moppet to open up about her troubles, showing her a particular drawing of Lily with a crayoned smudge in the corner that supposedly represents a troll. If this really is Prue's attempt at an artistic rendering, I can already tell that Kate is a better artist, and Prue might want to look into a career other than photography. Having thus gained Kate's trust, the sisters listen as Kate explains her situation. She doesn't know that much, because "Thistle" is hard to understand, as fairies don't speak in the same manner as people. Girl, do not get me started. I'm thisclose to bagging the recap so I can flip over to PBS and brush up on my quotes from The Women. Kate explains that Thistle is a fairy princess, whose parents are the king and queen of the enchanted kingdom. The trolls kidnapped her in an attempt to overthrow the royal fairy family, but Kate rescued Thistle from troll bondage. Now the trolls are after Kate. Prue and Phoebe ask if they can be introduced to Thistle, who has been spending her free time in the jewelry box Kate insists on having beside her at all times. Why didn't Kate just return her? Better yet, why didn't Thistle just fly on home after Kate rescued her from the cave? Are Thistle's parents going through a messy divorce, too? Do fairies get divorced?
Jesus Christ. Am I really sitting here questioning the motives of TV fairies? My parents are going to read this thing. Blah.
Anyway, Kate notes that adults can't see fairies, Phoebe insists that she and her sister are quite in touch with their respective inner children, and Kate moves the box to the Tween of the windowsill to open it. Kate apparently checks the sill for trolls, then unlocks the box and flips the top open. From Phoebe and Prue's perspective, there's nothing there. Kate notes this and snippily shuts the box, pouting, "You can't help if you can't see her." Thistle apparently calls out an instruction from inside the box, and Kate relays the information. If the Ps really believe in fairies, Thistle has a blunt that will help them see her. Okay, it's not a spliff, but just wait. Kate reaches into the box, pulls out a handful of fairy dust, and flings it into the Ps' faces. Piper and Phoebe immediately look like they've each blown a huge hit off of a bong, and start giggling. Kate smugly notes that she thinks the fairy dust worked, and sets the box back down on the sill. Prue bounces up and down in excitement as she blurts, "I want to see the fairy!" Kate lifts the lid to reveal a tiny girl in a trailing pink gown with fluttering, glowing wings. Thistle hovers up out of the box to hang in the air in front of the gaping Ps, and for Thistle's sake, I hope the munchies don't kick in any time soon. As Kate snickers delightedly in the background, we cut to commercial.
Back from the break, Piper enters a rapidly-emptying P3AD as Phoebe and Prue, still in pre-menarche mode, attempt to get the remaining patrons to join in a spirited round of "If You're Happy and You Know It." "Oh, God," Piper moans and descends the stairs to the bar. The assistant manager insists that she didn't serve the giddy on-stage morons, and that they arrived at the club in that state. Piper tells her to cut the mike and put on some music, then stalks to the stage to yank her sisters off. As Piper approaches, Prue spouts out, "We've been waiting and waiting and waiting" for her, and Phoebe rattles off, "We saw a fairy an' she was very cute an' she was sparkly an' she was really really pretty." Piper shuts them both up by freezing the entire bar, then asking them what "ass-backwards spell" they worked to toss themselves into this infantile state. Heh. The on-stage Ps insist they did not cast a spell, but rather used fairy dust. Piper, clearly interpreting "fairy dust" to mean "ganja," tells them to put a cork in it, and take themselves home to reverse whatever the hell it was they did to themselves, tossing Phoebe a withering "Tinkerbell." Phoebe giggles, noting that she's not a fairy, and produces a bag of fairy dust, which she and Prue proceed to fling at Piper. Piper sneezes, and Prue and Phoebe come to the painfully slow realization that the dust did not have the desired effect. More tiresome baby-talk from Phoebe as Piper unfreezes the bar to get back to work and Prue starts licking her hair. Whatever they're on, I think I'm going to need some to get through the rest of this episode.
All but calling Piper a "doodyhead," Phoebe notes that she has the key to the jewelry box, and the trolls are therefore after the sisters, but the three of them have to get back to Kate before midnight turns the world into a Tween. Piper shuts them down, stating flatly that she will not allow them to trick her into ending her strike against TPTB, and ordering them to wait outside the club for a cab to take them back to the manor, where they can "reverse [their] ridiculous behavior." Phoebe and Prue stick their tongues out at her before spinning around to exit the club. As they move to exit through the front door, a troll pops up on the doorframe, frightening Phoebe, who darts through the doorway to crouch on the ground. Trollish garblings as Phoebe and Prue plot to divert the trolls at midnight by returning to the manor with the jewelry box key and locking themselves inside. As they crawl off, the camera cuts back to Piper, who fishes a greeting card out from underneath the register at the bar. It's one of Leo's love notes, and as she steels her resolve to remain on the supernatural picket line, I note that Leo has the scrawl of a mentally-challenged ten-year-old.
Cut to the manor, where Prue and Phoebe barrel through the main hallway in an attempt to avoid the numerous doorways in the house. The Xylophone Of Pre-Adolescent Hijinks plinks merrily in the background as Prue drags Phoebe to call Kate on their walkie-talkies. The xylophone and the ladies are interrupted by the chiming of the doorbell. "Do you think trolls know about doorbells?" Prue asks, and the sisters creep to the door. Phoebe flings the door open to reveal Cole on the front porch, crouched so his eyes are at mail slot level. Phoebe sings out, "Cole!" as he rises up, then chastises him in baby-talk for meeting her at the house, when they had agreed to meet at the club. Prue tells him to get lost, and to close the door behind him as she whirls around with Phoebe to contact Kate. Cole halts them, noting he's got a long drive home, and asks if he could use their rest room. Giggles and "number two" "jokes" abound as the sisters reluctantly allow him in, telling him to make it quick. They're supposed to be nine years old, right? Not retarded? Whatever. Cole shoots them a look that clearly indicates he thinks they've been lobotomized, and we cut to the bathroom interior, where Cole carefully bolts the door from inside. He pauses, looks up, then pulls one of his trademark squiggles that teleports him up to the middle of the attic. He spies the BoS, grins, and moves towards it as we cut to the two Ps in the hall outside the bathroom.
Prue calls Kate on the walkie-talkie, and we cut to Kate, petrified in the darkness of her bedroom, clutching her receiver in one hand and Thistle's box in the other. Tedious child, if the trolls thrive in the shadows, turn on a couple of goddamned lights already. Idiot. Prue, who in spite of her dust-addled nonsense is becoming my favorite sister, tells the tedious child just that, noting that, because she and Phoebe have the key, the trolls will be gunning for them this evening, and Thistle and Kate will be safe. Kate's not having this, as she can hear the trolls circling her as well. Jump cut to the attic, where Cole approaches the stand holding the BoS. He moves his hand to grab it, but the book flares white and leaps to the floor. An expression of rank disgust crosses his face, which then morphs into his demonic visage, which numerous people in the forums have noted bears a striking resemblance to Darth Maul. Darth Maul with Spock ears. Darth Cole moves towards the book on the floor, only to have it skitter further away, eliciting a throaty growl from the demon. Cut to Prue and Phoebe, who hear the growl but misinterpret it as coming from the trolls hiding in the manor. "Let's go get 'em," simpers Prue, which brings the one and only smirk to my face thus far in this Freaky Friday plotline.
Cut back to the attic, where Phoebe and Prue burst through the door with a "Hee-YA," Prue apparently ready to pummel the trolls with her shoes. Darth Cole spins around, the two sisters freeze in surprise and fright, and Darth Cole squiggles back down to the bathroom. "That was a very big troll," pouts out Phoebe, but Prue corrects her, guessing the demon was after the BoS. Prue moves to replace the book on its pedestal as Phoebe retreats into the doorframe. An opportunistic troll immediately leaps down the front of her blouse to rummage around in her cleavage. He's supposedly simply searching for the key to Thistle's box, but manages to cop a good feel before darting out of Phoebe's shirt again. The troll trips Prue, who is rushing to aid her sister, and Phoebe and Prue are sent tumbling down the stairs to the landing outside the bathroom. Phoebe reaches for her neck and announces, in her normal vocal register, that "they got the key." Cole emerges in human form from the bathroom, asks Phoebe if she's all right, and we cut to commercial as the sisters gaze up guiltily from the floor.
Back in the manor, Prue apologizes profusely to Cole as she and Phoebe rush him downstairs to the front door. Cole halts them all, expressing concern for their possible tumble-related injuries, noting that they "seem different" from when he first arrived. Stating they seemed drunk when he got there, they now appear to be -- "sober," Prue finishes for him, adding that "Stairs. Can be sobering." Phoebe gawps at the lameness of that particular excuse, as if she hasn't come up with some ludicrous ones in the past, quickly takes Cole's arm, and escorts him out, again apologizing that their plans for the evening didn't work out. Cole tosses off a very Sydney-side "no worries," and insists he'll "keep trying." Keep trying to master an American accent, I assume, and wonder why the producers won't just let Julian McMahon play this role as the Australian he is. Phoebe shuts the door behind him and sneers out an incredulous "'Stairs can be sobering'?" Prue snits back, "What was I supposed to tell him? That an evil demon tried to steal our magic book, and then trolls pushed us down the stairs?" Phoebe allows the point, then wonders why they suddenly reverted to their adult selves. Prue guesses that it's a result of the trauma of the attack, Phoebe notes that with the trolls in possession of the key, Kate is now in danger, and suggests they head over to Dysfunction Central to protect her. Prue agrees, then, to Phoebe's puzzlement, heads for the stairs.
Attic. Prue beelines for the BoS, with Phoebe wondering why they're wasting their time as she's already determined that the BoS has nothing to offer, troll-wise. Prue points out that, with the dust no longer affecting them, they cannot see the trolls and will thus be of no use to Kate. Prue believes she can cobble together a spell that will have the same effect as the fairy dust, using "To See What Can't Be Seen" in conjunction with an innocence spell and the Power of Three. Phoebe congratulates Prue on her superior intelligence, and Prue sends her off to call Piper, noting that while they may have simply wanted her assistance before, they now have an absolute need for it, as Piper must tag along to freeze the trolls. Prue also reminds Phoebe to avoid Tweens, as the trolls will now attempt to foil the sisters at every turn.
P3AD. Piper busses some tables, and we cut to TrollCam, as one of the little demons scampers across the dance floor to trip Piper up. Piper bobbles the tray, and the glasses shatter on the floor as the phone rings in the background. Piper stupidly attempts to pick up the shards with her bare hands and we cut again to the TrollCam for more demonic scampering as the unseen troll forces Piper to cut her finger open. The assistant manager walks up to hand over the cordless, telling Piper it's her sister on the line. Piper heads back behind the bar as the assistant manager stoops to clean up the mess. Bare-handed.
"Need a diaper change?" Piper snarks into the phone as she dabs the cut on her finger with a bar napkin. Phoebe shuts her down, telling her she has to be back at the manor before midnight. "Or the tooth fairy will harass us for not flossing?" Piper snits. Snicker. Phoebe apologizes for her earlier behavior, admitting that yes, they were trying to take Piper's mind off her relationship woes, but now she and Prue need her to battle the trolls. Piper, initially wary, makes the connection between her drinks-tray mishap and the possible presence of trolls in the club, asking Phoebe if she saw any there earlier. Phoebe clues Piper in to the earlier attack, and cautions her to be on guard for more. Piper states she's on her way home, and hangs up before Phoebe can warn her of the Tween Places. Piper asks the assistant manager ("Irene") if she's seen her car keys, moving into the bar's Tween in the process. Irene has no idea where Piper's keys are, and another cut to the TrollCam as one of the diminutive meanies spins Piper around to shatter a bottle of Jim Beam. Mmm. Jim Beam. Irene flutters around with a bar rag; Piper opens the register to retrieve her spare set of keys. A troll slams the drawer shut on her finger, eliciting a "son of a bitch" from Piper, who grabs her finger in pain as she asks Irene to close for her. Irene gapes at her clod of a boss as Piper exits the bar area.
Cut to the club exterior as Piper is flung through the door by an invisible troll. TrollCam as another demon sprints through the shadows to send Piper tumbling into a pool of light coming from a street lamp. Piper kneels in the pool of light, gathering her scattered belongings as she flings a huffy little monologue up at The Powers That Be, accusing them of sending "trolls to kick [her] while [she's] down." She had a good life, she's made a damn fine witch, and she'd make an even better wife, she insists, then threatens to remain rooted in place until TPTB send Leo back to her. The heavens' response is, of course, silence. Piper glowers with resentment.
Manor, six minutes to midnight. Prue and Phoebe fret over Piper's continued absence just as Piper walks through the door. Expressions of concern, batted back by Piper, who says she thought this was about the innocent and her fairy, not Piper herself. Prue notes that Piper doesn't seem "open," to which Piper replies she's "as open as [she's] gonna get in the five minutes, so [they should] just do the damn spell." She moves into place to Prue, who unfolds the spell which the three then recite: In this Tween Time, this Darkest Hour/We call upon the Sacred Power./Three together stand alone/Command the unseen to be shown./In an innocence we search the skies/Enchanted are our new-found eyes. Phoebe: "You have really got to lay off the rhyming, Prue." Shout-out? You decide. Prue maps out the plan. The three will head to Dysfunction Central, Piper will freeze the parents, and they'll then head to Kate's room to protect her.
Supernatural Home of Family Dysfunction. Kate, alone, calls urgently for Prue through the walkie-talkie as the second hand on the satanic Garfield inches closer to midnight. Garbled troll threats increase in volume until we hit the Tween hour, and three of the little bastards appear in a circle around Kate. They swirl around her, wrestling for control of the jewelry box as the three Ps burst through the bedroom door. Despite the spell, the sisters cannot see the demons, who push them backwards into the hallway and slam the door on them. Left alone, Kate loses her grip on the box, which the trolls bat beneath the bed. Brief P huddle in the hallway; then Prue TKs the bedroom door open just in time for the sisters to see Kate being dragged, screaming, underneath the bed. One of the trolls hurls magic dust at Kate, who shrinks to fairy form as the Ps struggle past an overturned set of shelves. Just as they reach the bed, a troll whisks Fairy Kate away. "Where'd she go?" Phoebe pants, as we pan to Piper's startled face, then fade to commercial.
Back from the break, the Ps overturn Kate's bed to find nothing more than some scattered fairy dust and the empty jewelry box. Phoebe surmises the trolls turned Kate into a fairy as punishment for helping Thistle, then picks up the box, attempting to force a vision so the sisters can pinpoint Kate's current location. Prue again wonders why the spell failed, and Piper admits it's her fault. Her heart wasn't in it, she explains, and she beats herself up a bit for endangering a little girl. Phoebe interrupts the relationship angst by cursing her inability to summon her powers at will. The snippy back-and-forth between Phoebe and Prue is cut short by Piper, who realizes that the spell is working and directs their attention to the little fairy flitting in the window. He's clad in Dockers, a white button-down shirt, an orange vest, and work boots. I'm guessing he's a recent transplant to the Bay Area from Nebraska. He flits away, and the Ps follow. Marty, Fairy Prince of the Flyover, leads the sisters through a moonlit glade, then flitters away after guiding them to the entrance to a cave, which resembles the one from Kate's drawing.
The Ps enter, creeping slowly up behind a gaggle of trolls who are busying themselves constructing a bonfire. Suspended above it are Fairy Kate and Thistle, locked in a cage. As the Ps size up the situation, two trolls, one of whom looks suspiciously like a Latino migrant farm worker, lurk up behind them. Just as the bonfire bursts into flames that lick at the caged fairies, the lurking trolls attack, flushing the Ps from their hiding place. Beset by whirling trolls, Prue orders Piper to freeze them, a task Piper finds difficult because of the trolls' speed. She manages to suspend a particularly nasty-looking one in mid-air, and Prue quickly TKs it backwards into the fire. One troll down, half a dozen or so to go, but trolls apparently have a side use as accelerants, as the bonfire rages higher, threatening to turn the caged fairies into diminutive grilled fairy treats. Phoebe concentrates real hard, managing to get airborne through her recently-acquired power. Or through the visible harness attached to Alyssa Milano. Prue TKs her over the bonfire to snatch the cage from its mooring. While Phoebe and the fairies are safe on the far side of the wall of flame, the remaining trolls confront Piper and Prue. Prue commands Piper to run, and Piper freezes the flames, allowing the two to leap safely to the other side. Piper unfreezes the fire just as the trolls scurry to follow them, and the result is five or six little troll flambés.
Phoebe, snickering goofily, frees Fairy Kate and Thistle from the wooden cage, and the two mites make for the exit. Phoebe stops them, Prue wonders if Thistle doesn't know how to turn Kate human again, and Piper realizes what's really going on. Prepare yourselves for this week's message: divorce is never the fault of the children caught in the middle. Got that? Good. Piper tells Kate that if she goes to play with the fairies, her mother will be just as sad as Kate herself was when her parents divorced. Piper convinces Kate to return home, and Thistle works a little fairy magic, restoring Kate to her original form. Hugs all around. Yawn.
Manor. The Ps enter, grumbling about their various pulled muscles from the evening's physical exertions. Brought up short by the doorbell, they glance at each other as if to say, "Who the hell is that at this hour?" Prue opens the door to reveal a pile of floral arrangements, glittering with fairy dust. Some stereotypes exist for a reason, I suppose. Prue correctly surmises it's the fairy kingdom just saying thanks, and the sisters gather the arrangements to take them indoors. Piper stops at the entrance hall's mirror to don a garland that looks suspiciously bridal. Relationship chatter. Phoebe and Prue attempt to console Piper, who shushes them, noting that she's finally realizing why "they" don't want witches and White Lighters to fraternize. "Marriage is hard enough," she states as they move to the parlor and arrange themselves on the sofas. "But marriage to a White Lighter," she continues. "He's got to orb out at times of the night, and sometimes he's gone for weeks at a time." I'm sure everyone involved in a relationship with, say, a doctor, a police officer, or a member of the armed services has been there and back again, Piper, so quit bitching. She admits that such a distraction proves detrimental to the work they must do, as evinced by the evening's near-failure to protect Kate and her fairy. She concludes it's for the best that she and Leo not be together.
The three get a little misty, as on cue, Leo orbs in on the stairs. TPTB, eavesdropping little sows that they are, heard Piper's speech, and this was apparently enough for them to reconsider their ban on Piper and Leo's relationship. Same old, same old. If Piper and Leo prove their personal relationship will not endanger their professional one, they get to stay together. Piper and Leo head upstairs for some reunion nookie, leaving Phoebe and Prue to fret belatedly about the mysterious demon they stumbled upon earlier in the attic. Prue tells Phoebe that Piper and Leo deserve one night of "worry-free romance" before they're enlisted to deal with this new threat, and Phoebe croons, "Oooh. Romance."
Cut to Cole's office, where he's studying his Halliwell dossier as the phone rings. It's Phoebe, who had planned on getting his voicemail this late in the evening. More "cute" "banter," with Phoebe hoping Cole doesn't think she's a "drunk lunatic" for calling at this hour, Cole insisting he prefers to think of her as a "mystery," Phoebe claiming she'll let him go so she can be mysterious, and Cole stating, "I'll call you." "I'll answer," she replies, and falls back into a chair in a Cole-induced swoon. Cut to Cole's office, where he leaps to his feet, hissing, "Yes!" He orders his shadow to report to the Triad that he's "getting closer," and Shadow Cole slithers down the wall to disappear through a heating vent in the floor. Cole sits back in his chair, twiddling his thumbs in his lap while plotting his demonic move, as we fade to black.
week, the Ps travel back to 1700 to ensure that the Halliwell line survives the era's witch-hunts. Yes, it makes absolutely no sense. Just go with it. It looks like it's going to be a hell of a lot more interesting than this episode, and I have the added bonus of not having to resist cheap fairy jokes.