Carrie is no longer a virgin; does this change everything? Ostensibly it should. Carrie is going through her closet to "The Safety Dance" when she finds Sebastian's jacket. When you're 17 and no longer a virgin, everything has meaning. Tom comes in all, "oh boy, women be shopping," and Carrie rushes off to the city for her writing class.
Weaver, her boyfriend who is totally cool dating someone sort of in high school, comforts Carrie's qualms about her New School writing class. She's freaking out because she received an open-ended writing assignment. Carrie is generally so poised, and looks great and totally not '80s with her topknot, dark nail polish and cropped sweater. Evidently she's just fashion-forward to the degree of about 30 years. I've seen NYC Prep so I know not all high schoolers dress and behave like AnnaSophia Robb. Anyway, Carrie Bradshaw's biggest problem this week is that she has writer's block. Weaver suggests having sex to procrastinate, calling Carrie a prude.
"After what we did last night you can not call me a prude," Carrie says. I wonder what it was? Butt stuff? Carrie declines Weaver's offer, saying she has to focus but come on, could you resist having sex with that guy? No. No one could. After a roll in the hay, Weaver tells Carrie she needs to write about what she's scared to write about because that's the good stuff.
Meanwhile, back in Castlebury, Mouse's boyfriend West is checking out safety schools with the guidance counselor. Mouse will not hear of applying to a safety school because it's Harvard or bust for her. Walt is helping his boyfriend, Bennett, move into a new apartment in an unsafe part of town. Walt hangs out nervously around the boxes.
Strolling through the drugstore, Carrie and Mouse compare notes on how their lives are not very difficult or scary. Mouse is having anxiety dreams about Harvard, Carrie's life is perfect as usual. Carrie walks by the condoms and is visibly scared, then whispers to the pharmacist that she's there to pick up "uh, things," meaning the pill. They run into Maggie and it's awkward but I think I'm glad they're not friends anymore. Carrie admits to missing Maggie, then she and Mouse realize that Carrie has issues with sex so she decides to write about it. How formative.
Thrilled with her new assignment and her own cleverness, Carrie calls a meeting with Larissa and Samantha. Carrie calls them the most confident and perverted women she knows and asks them for help with her essay. They rattle off a laundry list of preferences and sexual positions and Carrie gets overwhelmed and runs away. Larissa and Samantha talk about shoes and Larissa says that if Samantha insists on hanging around she needs to look at something beautiful so she takes her to the wardrobe closet. Magazines are magical places where everything is beautiful and nothing hurts.
Harlan rolls in to visit Larissa and Samantha seductively asks him what he thinks of the shoes. Harlan is all of a sudden not a pervert, I guess, and is able to resist Samantha's wiles, calling her trouble. He delivers Larissa long-stem roses, growls at her, then leaves. Samantha says it would be fun to keep a man like that happy and Larissa suggests Samantha do a threesome with them. She agrees.
Maggie and Sebastian meet in the hallway, Sebastian broke it off with the sexy housewife, blah blah blah who cares. They talk about Carrie and college and how they're losers. Then Maggie gets very hot and sick all of a sudden. Please be pregnant.
Carrie takes a break from journaling in Weaver's bed to tip-tap on Weaver's typewriter about sex. Weaver says sex is such a base topic, and Carrie is too smart and funny to go for the easy score. He doesn't think it's prestigious enough for her, but Jesus Christ, Weaver it's just an essay. He says that her professor is a big deal so if she makes this essay great it could go a long way but if it's bad she could be done. He has warned her and offers to help her brainstorm. Writers shouldn't date other writers, and this is why.
Maggie's pregnant! She meets up with her engaged cop boyfriend to tell him. Maggie's like, "let's be together and work this out," because she's still an idiot. She threatens him with telling her dad and he's like, you knew what this was and it's not serious. Maggie says she doesn't have $700 for an abortion. But she has a thousand times that for a child? Go buy some pre-natals I guess.
In New York, Harlan excitedly tells Tom about his threesome. In Castlebury, Walt tells Carrie and Mouse about his fear of Bennett's apartment. Carrie is very intense and anxious now that she's dating a fellow writer. They all speak heavily about the theme of "safety."
Carrie sits at a typewriter, types "Snakes" then "Creepy Clowns" and wads up the paper, throwing it and hitting Sebastian. Sebastian congratulates Carrie on getting in to that writing class at The New School. He says she has a way of looking at life like nobody else. Derrrrrrrrrrgghhhh. He says to write about something that makes her smile, which is the most generic and annoying advice a doofus like that could give.
Carrie writes about sex, smiling the whole way through, and turns in her essay. She tells Weaver about it after the fact. He tells her he respects her decision, redeeming himself as a match for Carrie. Carrie tells Weaver about the funny little details she came up with and adds, "it's not like I'm going to make a living off of it but I find it satisfying to write about," because foreshadowing, guys.
1 2 3
"Having sex in a city with so many people crammed together makes for some pretty odd situations, I think," Carrie muses, and Weaver says it sounds like she's found her voice. Yeesh, it doesn't get any more ham-fisted than this episode.
Carrie tries to tell Weaver that he didn't need to fill her with a week of anxiety and doubt, but he doesn't see it that way. Carrie says if he knew how much she doubts herself already he wouldn't feel the need to chime in. Girl, preach. She says she wants her boyfriend to be the guy who makes her feel safe not the one cranking the rack in the dungeon of her mind. He says, "do you want to be comfortable or good?" What a douche, we hate you now, Weaver. But it's not over quite yet.
Maggie drops by Sebastian's house to do shots (so good for a preggo), Walt visits Bennett, and Samantha and Larissa enter into a three-way. Maggie tells Sebastian she likes the sound of "us" when he says maybe it's "us against the world." Walt pepper-sprays himself in the face.
Carrie gives Weaver his coat back saying she'd rather be cold than in something that doesn't feel right and he immediately catches on to her metaphor because he is a writer. They fight, Weaver brings up Sebastian saying that they never stood a chance because it's always been about Sebastian. Way to make it not about how you were a pompous dick to your girlfriend, Weaver.
Sebastian and Maggie make out and he says he can't do it for so many reasons. She's drunk and a mess. Maggie confesses that she's pregnant and she has no money and no one will help her and she just didn't want to be alone with her thoughts anymore. Sebastian offers to let Maggie stay at his place and says the morning they'll figure out what her choices are together.
Oh boy, Weaver's jacket didn't feel right but now Carrie is faced with the idea of Sebastian's jacket. Tom says you never know when you'll want something from your past back. Carrie puts on Sebastian's jacket and asks to borrow Tom's car. She goes to Sebastian's place, ostensibly to return the jacket, then sees Maggie passed out on the couch so she returns the jacket and Sebastian finds it on his doorstep.
Walt tells Bennett he loves him. It's a meaningful moment for them cloaked in a throwaway subplot. Harlan is stuck in traffic so Larissa and Samantha make out, then decide to film it for him.
Carrie and Mouse meet up to discuss her latest heartbreak and Carrie says just because you want something doesn't mean you'll get it, which encourages Mouse to apply for a safety school. A homeless person throws a bagel at Walt and Carrie gets herself a winter coat all her own. Carrie gets a B+ on her essay, then throws away her birth control pills saying "I don't know enough about sex or love or the city to ever write about them again." Cute.
1 2 3