Carrie starts this episode off in a house party in Manhattan. I'm so pleased for any time spent away from the halls of Castlebury High that I won't even ponder the logistics of how Carrie goes back and forth and where all this fabulous free time is coming from. Carrie is sitting close to her new playwright man, Weaver, who is the toast of the town but not so much that he'll be recognized or bombarded at a busy house party. Carrie is telling Weaver that she wants to be a "journalist" but "not the detached kind, I want to use my own voice to let people know that I've been there and seen it." This is odd, coming from a girl who has been few places and seen few things.
We learn, as Carrie and Weaver discuss Gonzos of all kinds, that the party is Weaver's. Samantha is there, and Weaver calls her "a character," and that could not be more accurate. Writers should never date other writers, is maybe the moral of this relationship. But Carrie doesn't learn that until she dates Berger in Sex and the City, so there's something else to gain here. Carrie says she loves dating a writer. What a fool. Carrie and Weaver start making out, and don't stop until everyone has left the party, presumably.
Weaver comments on Carrie's "cute little diary," bringing it back to this series, and it becomes clear that Carrie is staying over at Weaver's often, so there's part of the logistics problem. Carrie takes her "journal" everywhere so she has it when inspiration strikes. Weaver has finished the first act of his play but won't let her read it until it's finished. They love dating writers! This changes pretty quickly when Weaver tells Carrie his play is about his ex-girlfriend, Katya.
Carrie tells Mouse and Samantha about this at a diner (does she have clothes somewhere in Manhattan, too?), followed by an admission that she and Weaver haven't had sex yet. Carrie is planning on not telling Weaver that she's a virgin, after making such a big deal about it with Sebastian. Sebastian, who is so cavalier about sex that he's sleeping with a very sexy housewife. No one asks about how to fake your hymen not breaking.
Mouse suggests that exes should be wiped from the brain bank whenever a new relationship commences, but it's a very naïve viewpoint. Carrie thinks maybe it's possible to be friends with an ex, but there is too much paint and roughage between her and Sebastian for that to be the case for them. Samantha excuses herself to go to her new job as a nude model for art classes.
Sebastian has lunch with his mom, as though we still cared, and she announces that she's marrying Lucas, the tennis instructor. Lucas is 24, and this is before the term "cougar" came about. Meanwhile, at the high school where Carrie presumably goes, Miller swings by to check up on Dorrit, who was talking to some dude about very average, non-sexy things. Miller says to stay away from that guy, and starts to sound a lot like the boyfriend in a Lifetime Original Movie, specifically Fred Savage in No One Would Tell. Miller tells Dorrit that his whole house is "a dust pit covered in plastic, so I have the place all to myself," which sounds like the perfect situation for murder. If Dorrit ends up wrapped in plastic, I'll be equal parts intrigued and confused.
Dorrit is not really feeling Miller's offer to let her stay in a dust pit covered in plastic with him for a whole week. He says a couple weeks ago she would have slept in a dumpster just to be alone with him, which Donna LeDonna overhears walking by. Donna tells Dorrit she has herself a Smotherer. He might actually smother her, so maybe we shouldn't joke about it yet.
In the halls, Sebastian approaches Carrie and asks if he can talk to her. No, bleh, go away. Sebastian says it might be awkward, what he has to ask her. He wants to talk to her dad, actually, for some legal advice on protecting his mom's money. Mouse sees this and reams Carrie for "opening the door to an ex." Carrie says she's not involved with Sebastian, unlike Weaver and his ex Katya. Carrie is very curious about that play that Weaver won't let her read, and she's probably not going to just ask about it or talk to him to let him know it bothers her.
Mouse asks West for feedback on her homecoming float and he thinks it should have glitter. Then, Donna walks by to discuss her petition to be Homecoming Queen and an amazing, self-aware moment happens. One of the Jens has been replaced, and Donna asks, "who the hell are you?" but the girl's name is also Jen, and the other Jen's parents moved. Love it. But uh oh, just then, Donna LeDonna and West are announced as Homecoming Queen and King.
Back in New York, Samantha is staying in the art studio at night. She and the art teacher review the paintings and one of them is her face with a broken heart. Samantha has to know more; and I couldn't care less.
Sebastian seeks Tom's counsel, telling him that he wants to protect his mom's money that she got in the divorce. Tom tells Sebastian that he's a good kid and he underestimated him. They also agree that Carrie is something special. Tom then tells Sebastian that he doesn't practice family law (ah, finally, a dose of reality on this show) but can give refer Sebastian to some excellent lawyers who do.
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Tom goes upstairs to get the phone numbers and Carrie walks in after helping Mouse with the float. Sebastian steps toward her, noting the paint in her hair (sexay), and Tom breaks it up just in time. Weaver calls Carrie and she says he's a work friend. Sebastian leaves and Carrie is verklempt. Weaver asks Carrie out on a date for Saturday. I do not understand the dynamics of this relationship.
Carrie tells Mouse about this the day, and Mouse says this will sabotage her current relationship with Weaver. Mouse, on the other hand, is worried about Donna LeDonna. But, we like her now I thought? Regardless, it is humiliating that Mouse has to make a float for her boyfriend to stand on with a pretty girl.
Surprise! Miller is at the Bradshaw house, waiting for Dorrit. Tom invited him to have dinner after he stopped by that morning with an album and to shoot the shit. Miller is creepy. Tom suggests that Miller stay with them while the house is under construction. Miller agrees, of course, and this is probably how Dorrit gets written off the show.
Donna and West walk by Mouse's float with crowns on their heads and Donna does not like the giant papier-machet pumpkin Mouse has constructed. Donna orders her to trash it, or at least add some glitter and Mouse explodes. Mouse tells West she knows she's not popular, West says he loves her and so do her friends but Mouse says that's not enough and numbers do matter.
Carrie walks into the diner to find Sebastian alone. She goes against her better judgment and sits with him. Sebastian's mom won't sign the pre-nup and has threatened to cut him out if he doesn't go to the wedding. Carrie offers to go with him, which is really dumb. She says she'd like to be there for him. No, you are not friends. Sebastian says the wedding is Saturday night, which is the night of Carrie's date with Weaver. Boo, you whore.
Carrie does her date with Weaver during the day, and they walk across the Brooklyn Bridge together. Weaver tells her the history of the bridge, and Carrie asks if he's still in love with Katya. I'm glad she actually just brought it up instead of reading the play. Weaver assures her Katya is "a psycho bitch," which says worse things about Weaver than Katya. He promises she's nothing to be upset about and says you can't move on when you're still entangled with an ex. It's time for Carrie to not go to that wedding.
Carrie and Weaver get caught in the rain and run into his parents' house, which is conveniently near the Brooklyn bridge. Weaver gives Carrie some clothes to change into and they have a conversation about keeping fruit in one's purse. Carrie changes and comes out to find Weaver reading her journal.
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Samantha basically offers to have sex with that guy who painted her with a broken heart. Then, Donna sits down at the diner with Dorrit, who is avoiding Miller the Smotherer. Donna calls this case a classic progression, and no one is concerned about how controlling Miller is. Donna casually says that Miller has curdled.
Booo, Weaver for reading someone's diary. He says he lost his head and something about Carrie makes him lose his senses. He is so attracted to Carrie, in fact, that he claims to want to know everything about her: every thought she's thinking, etc. He says he's sorry but glad he did because they clearly have a lot to talk about. He asks her to be honest and just say that she's a virgin. Oops, he didn't read the parts about Sebastian. Typical egotistical writer, just skips to the stuff about him.
Weaver says having sex for the first time is a big deal and if he's going to be her first he wants it to mean something. Weaver is so hot, he can't be denied. Carrie jumps him.
Dorrit finds Miller and interrupts his jam session with Tom to say they need to talk. Samantha sleeps with the painter guy, who confesses that the broken heart was about him, not her. He just broke up with a girl and is inconsolable. Samantha's plan to prove she has no heart at all backfires, but she tells the crying artist to grow a pair. Back at the Bradshaw home, Dorrit breaks up with Miller, who tries to bargain but is rejected.
Carrie got laid by a total hottie. Score, y'all. We were all so thrilled with the thought of Weaver's naked bod that we forgot about Sebastian's stupid wedding. Sebastian waits outside the wedding, hopelessly, until Mouse comes in and offers to be there for him in Carrie's place. Give it up, Sebastian, because Carrie just did. Y'all know what I'm sayin'.
Back at Weaver's place, Carrie tells Weaver about Sebastian. She says she's glad she missed her train and she's going to shut the door on Sebastian and lock it so she can move forward with Weaver. Tom says he's sorry things didn't work out with Miller, and Dorrit says she's not and advises him never to become friends with one of her boyfriends again. Mouse missed homecoming for Sebastian's mom's wedding but West says everyone loved the pumpkin and that Mouse is a good friend. Carrie writes in her diary, and there's no way she could fit a banana in that purse. Samantha considers the painting. Carrie tells Mouse and Samantha that she's not a virgin anymore. Carrie ignores Sebastian in the hallway.
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