Carrie broke up with Weaver, and then wanted to bound back to Sebastian, but found the secretly pregnant Maggie on his couch and ran away. Now Carrie’s reading all the gossip rags in a super tight graphic skirt and discovers that there’s an item about her breakup with Weaver in the paper. In the quote Weaver calls Carrie "a diminutive suburban poser who I broke up with." I thought his play was about his other ex Katya? Ah, details. At least Carrie is getting a play written about her. Carrie oscillates between wanting to set the story straight and protecting her identity.
Larissa comes into the office with beepers for Carrie and Bennett, telling them they are expecting to be on-call "twenty-four slash seven," which was not a thing in 1985. Larissa confirms that rumors are basically truth in New York society, declaring that Carrie has arrived.
Maggie and Sebastian walk through the halls of Castlebury High together, only to be confronted by Donna LeDonna about the rumors of their relationship. Sebastian says not to believe everything you hear. Donna slings a few arrows about how they’re both garbage, and she’s not entirely wrong. Maggie tells Sebastian they need to stop the rumor that they’re dating because she cares about Carrie. Sebastian says Carrie saw Maggie sleeping at his house so the jig is basically up? Who cares?
Mouse and West are in a food rut and realize that they are boring. They are not, however, the most boring characters on this show. Mouse says they need to add some spice to their lives and suggests they do it in West’s car. They’re both too busy and boring to be hot. But yeah, this subplot is happening.
Larissa is beeping Carrie non-stop for non-emergencies. Walt shares that Bennett is pretty ticked off about the beeper situation and that he feels unappreciated at Interview and has been threatening to quit. Elsewhere, in the hallways of Castlebury High, Maggie tells Sebastian she has decided to get an abortion and asks him to take her to the appointment. The money is still a mystery, but whatever.
Carrie’s gossip situation has gotten a bit more serious, as she discovers from Larissa that someone from Page Six is snooping around to find out if Carrie is the ex-girlfriend in question. Andy, who is the person in charge of Interview that we are only just now hearing about, doesn’t like the magazine to be perceived negatively at all and Carrie’s reputation as a "poser" could hurt her job. Stuffing envelopes on a weekend for free, Carrie reveals to her pals that she needs to prove herself as a non-poser. Andy, Andy, Andy.
Bennett complains about being unappreciated at work by Andy, and Samantha suggests that he find a way to get noticed. Samantha says Bennett needs to meet all those important media guys on the field, like at the Paris Party. At said party -- which has a $50 cover -- a guest is pulled from a hat and wins a trip to Paris. Typical New York media stuff. They decide to go; Carrie, so that she can get her reputation back with that Page Six reporter, and Bennett, so he can network.
To spice things up, Mouse and West are eating tacos. She is planning their sex life down to the chili peppers. I hate this. Mouse left West a sexy boob Polaroid in his backpack and it falls out for another basketball player to see. At least that happened.
Sebastian takes Maggie to her abortion appointment and she waits outside the clinic, musing about how she has always wanted to be a mother. She says she’s not like Mouse or Carrie -- she doesn’t have big dreams. Might as well keep it with no money or plans, I guess. Sebastian says Maggie could always look into adoption or getting help from her parents. Options! Maggie breaks down into tears and Sebastian says she can wait a few days to make this decision and offers to take her home. Maggie wants to drive around a little.
At the Paris Party, which happens during the day, Samantha sneaks Carrie, Bennett, and Walt in through the back. It turns out the "people" Samantha knows are Alberto the busboy. Samantha hands them all trays of champagne because that’s great for reputations and networking. Then, Carrie runs into Weaver because of course he’s at the Paris Party. Carrie lies about working at the party and sets down the tray to share some champagne with Weaver. He shares some douchey details about his life/plays then says he’ll let her go to hand out drinks.
Samantha and Bennett head toward Tristan Cassidy, the Page Six writer. Larissa shows at the party and scopes him out, too. Samantha takes his arm, and Larissa tells Bennett she wasn’t going to waste the hottest ticket in town on him. She says she’s impressed with Bennett finagling a ticket to the hottest party in town, and that Andy always worries he doesn’t have what it takes to get all-access. That’s what it is. Walt, offended, talks Bennett up perhaps too much.
Mouse prompts West to check his notebook for her naughty picture and he can’t find it. Her boobs are out on the town before a time of texting or even cybering. Mouse was smart enough to only photograph her boobs and not her face, but West goes on a reconnaissance mission that ends successfully.
1 2 3 4
Carrie skulks through the Paris Party, swooping in to confront Weaver about that gossip piece. Weaver says he wasn’t misquoted in Page Six and reminds Carrie that he’s a wordsmith (douche). He says in order for him to come out on top, Carrie had to take the hit. Weaver doubts Carrie when she says she cared about him, because she broke up with him and went right back to Sebastian, in his mind. He tells her she’s lucky he didn’t name her. Carrie storms off and straight toward Tristan Cassidy, saying that Weaver is a pathological liar and a needy, insecure bastard. Real mature. Carrie also offered to let him quote her on saying he has a small penis, then gives her name as Katya Morningstar.
Carrie gets a beep and it’s Sebastian, who has that number for some reason. He tells Carrie that Maggie has collapsed, as though she’s obligated to care any longer. She rushes to the hospital to fret in the waiting room with Sebastian, who didn’t know who else to call. Sebastian tells Carrie that Maggie is pregnant and it’s not his. They aren’t dating, so on and so forth. This isn’t about Maggie’s safety anymore, it’s about Carrie and Sebastian reconnecting. I’m sure she’s fine, right?
Walt is a great wingman for Bennett, working every connection. Walt tells Bennett that he realized his job doesn’t appreciate him, and that made him want to appreciate him more. They cuddle and someone takes a couple pictures, which could be trouble for Walt’s reputation as a not-gay guy back home.
Maggie’s parents show up at the hospital and her father cusses Sebastian out for no specific reason. I guess it's because he "heard the stories about you and your no-good father." One of the nurses taking care of Maggie is married to one of his guys and that’s how they found out. Carrie tries to diffuse the situation and a doctor steps in with an update that Maggie had an ectopic pregnancy that requires a long and invasive surgery. Is this show about to kill Maggie off? Wouldn’t that be something!
Carrie asks Sebastian why he didn’t tell Maggie’s parents that he’s not the father and Sebastian says it’s not his story to tell. He can’t stop the rumors and it’s out of respect for Maggie. It doesn’t matter that it’s not the truth anymore, Sebastian’s reputation doesn’t matter, and neither does his relationship with Carrie if Maggie is in life-threatening condition. Sebastian rightly tells Carrie that her priorities are out of whack, and that she shouldn’t care what other people think.
1 2 3 4
At the Paris Party, they are about to announce the winner of the trip to Paris. Weaver approaches Carrie’s friends and discovers that in a sassy gay rage, they called one of his body parts diminutive. They hope Weaver learned his lesson as he stalks off. Larissa tells Bennett that Andy heard he’s highly desirable now. Andy is giving him a raise and promotion to Feature Editor. Everyone clinks their glasses again and again. The winner of the trip is Carrie Bradshaw, of course, but Carrie isn’t there. Samantha accepts the tickets and heads for the limo.
Sebastian sits down to Carrie and tells her that he doesn’t care 'bout a bad reputation. He says all that matters is that Carrie knows the truth. Carrie compares him, yet again, to Weaver, because Weaver is kind of a celebrity and Sebastian is not so he can afford to think that way. A doctor comes in and reveals that Maggie pulled through from surgery, but will have trouble conceiving in the future. But all Maggie wanted to be was a mom! And all I wanted was for this show to kill off a character!
Carrie and Sebastian head for Maggie’s recovery room, but Carrie stops off at a payphone to call Larissa. Larissa tells Carrie she won the trip to Paris but Samantha took it and went with the busboy. Carrie says "good for her," which is not a human reaction. Then, after a little Paris trip foreshadowing, Carrie asks to talk to Tristan Cassidy and retracts her spiteful comments about Weaver. In an even further robotic and good-hearted move, she gives him her name in exchange for retracting the penis size story. WTF.
Carrie and Sebastian sit with Maggie in recovery, then we return to the markedly less interesting story of Mouse and her boobs. She flashes the basketball team her boobs to prove that the picture is her. Inconsequential yuks are had by all. Then, Walt’s conservative mom sees his gay picture in the society pages and looks down her nose at him. Maggie’s father has elected to forgive Sebastian because he took Maggie to the hospital, but tells him to stay away from her and get the hell out of the hospital. Now everything is fine for Carrie and Sebastian, and they’re in love, and everything else is just noise.
1 2 3 4