Oh god, this show is trying to get us into another sub-plot about Tom dating. They wouldn't show the flashback to Tom dating unless they were going to try it again. The episode starts out with a very firm reminder that we are in the '80s. "Some Like it Hot" by The Power Station plays as Carrie refers to a review of Teen Wolf the original movie and Walt reads a newspaper with the giant headline "Heat Wave." A newspaper!
They talk about being critics and critical but are interrupted by Samantha walking through the kitchen naked. Walt notes she has been there for three weeks and I fear summer in the city is blowing through this show all too quickly. She is always naked and leaves her stuff everywhere and has no boundaries. Carrie asks Samantha to move out and urges her to look for places in the newspaper. Hahaha newspapers.
Tom calls Carrie saying that Dorrit is at the beach with her friend, so she won't be in this episode. He says that since he's all alone he might hang out with Deb, his girlfriend. He got a meeting for Carrie with some teacher at a school in Manhattan that has a program for gifted high school writers. Yayyyy everything is going well for Carrie still. Meanwhile, Sebastian's dad bought a car and they're going to fix it up together and maybe he won't be a shitty dad anymore after they do that.
Mouse and her boyfriend talk on the phone and he is horny. He tries to initiate phone sex while calling from a public phone and Mouse hangs up on him because her roommate is in the room and looks like some frigid white girl. Boy, I can't wait for this to unfold in seven minutes over the course of an hour.
Walt's birthday is coming up and since this is his 18th birthday it could be a big deal for him and Bennett. Bennett said something about it being "legal" last time they hung out so Carrie offers to invite him to the party. They discover a box full of fake Rolex watches for Samantha, then get a fax from Larissa (whose apartment they are staying in) saying she is returning in a week. What a mess this heat wave is turning into.
Carrie is back at work, where things are significantly more '80s. She confides in Bennett about her Samantha problem. She needs Sam to move out but doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings or lose a new friend. Bennett can't go to Walt's birthday party on Saturday because he's going to an '80s rock concert in Central Park, New York City. Carrie stupidly says that this is the perfect coincidence because that concert is exactly what she's doing for Walt's party. Bennett turns it into an even bigger conundrum saying they can meet up in the VIP section. What a disaster!
Carrie can't get six VIP passes, or even tickets for the concert. But she can't tell Bennett the truth, or let Walt down for one day. Did they call things white girl problems back in the '80s?
Then, Mouse meets Samantha. Samantha has, not surprisingly, taken a job as a phone sex operator and is taking calls from the apartment she needs to move out of. Mouse interrupts a call and hey, this could be exactly the kind of thing she needs. Mouse admits to Samantha that she is a "phone sex virgin" and her boyfriend has been trying to initiate it. Sam vows to help her, explaining that horny guys are not that complicated. Then Sam hands her call over to Mouse, who bungles the whole thing but in a way that keeps her one of my top three favorite characters.
Tom is also on the phone, but he could never be one of my favorite characters. Deb is back from Disney Land or World and will be visiting Tom at his place for the first time. Tom hurriedly hides any bad pictures of himself and questions whether or not to hide away pictures of his dead wife. Dating is so hard.
Back at the apartment, Mouse is cooking and Walt says Carrie needs to tell Samantha to move out because they got a $400 phone bill. I don't even want to know what that would be factoring in inflation. Carrie still doesn't have Walt's birthday party planned. She just can't let anyone down, gosh darn it. But Samantha is proving useful again, saying she can get Carrie and everyone else tickets to the concert because she knows Howard Stern. Out of gratitude, Carrie does not tell Samantha to move out.
Remember that teacher meeting? Well guess what, it's scheduled for the same day as Walt's party and everything else. Carrie says it's no problem and she'll be there, even though no one specified what time. But apparently it's scheduled for "right in the middle of the concert." It looks like Carrie needs to pull a classic twin switcheroo, and find a twin.
Instead of risking disappointing anyone ever at all, Carrie decides to leave the party for an hour and a half for the meeting and to lie about it to Walt. Samantha has some champagne and dank caviar for the party, which includes Donna, and one of those fake watches for Walt. I like how Donna and Samantha are cousins, and how Donna is all of a sudden a friend. Donna is one of my other top three favorite characters. Oh my god, Bennett shows up with the offer to hang out toward the front of the concert with him. Walt is so thrilled he doesn't even open that weirdly-shaped gift Bennett got him.
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Oh, by the way, the thousands of dead wife pictures that litter the Bradshaw home don't bother Tom's new girlfriend.
Samantha and Carrie discuss Donna's status as a friend or "casual non-enemy" and Carrie talks more about Sebastian, who is probably fixing up that car as we speak. Wow, Sebastian is so boring. Why does Carrie spend so much energy thinking about him? Carrie heads to her interview meeting thing while Maggie and Sebastian bond over a love of hot vintage cars. But not really, because these two always have the most blunt conversations.
"Today is Walt's birthday and I'm not invited because we kissed."
"I am not invited either, and I regret kissing you."
"Our dads are never there for us."
Maggie's looking hot, though. So good for her. At the concert, Everyone dances and parties and spends the better part of a song having fun. Are we supposed to know who this group is in real life? Teens.
Walt and Bennett go for a stroll to talk about gay things. Bennett asks Walt what his worst date was since he's been in the city and Walt confesses he hasn't met many gay guys and he thought they had a connection. Bennett gets uncomfortable, and even more so when Walt says he thought today would be the day since he's legal now. Bennett says he has feelings but doesn't want to be exclusive or tie Walt down. Then, Walt starts feeling sick because of that bad caviar. Carrie is also feeling ill, at her teacher meeting. This is hilarious. I know The Carrie Diaries wouldn't give everyone diarrhea, but puking is good enough.
The entire Tom dating subplot is worth this scene where everyone is throwing up into gift bags, buckets and hats. Samantha isn't sick because she's from the Everglades, so she pulls the gang together to leave. Carrie has already made it home, looking the worst of them all.
Not that it matters, but Sebastian got the car working again and his dad sold it. His dad is still a total dick.
Samantha confesses that the caviar wasn't really from the Caspian Sea but from Coney Island off the back of a truck. For some reason none of them wondered if it was the caviar making them sick. This is enough to make Carrie angry with Samantha and confess everything. Walt can't believe that Carrie left the party for an interview but it doesn't even matter. Carrie asks Samantha to take her naked butt and nasty caviar out of the apartment, and Mouse sees that the eggs she used to make a quiche expired months ago. So it was the eggs, but Samantha should still not be living there.
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Samantha gets Carrie to admit that she should have just told her friends what she wanted in the first place. Carrie will never learn when it's right to lie. They agree to stay friends, even though Samantha has to move out. Then Sebastian shows up at the apartment and Samantha urges a puke-covered Carrie to tell him how she feels. God, whatever. Sex and the City was fun because it wasn't entirely about Mr. Big.
Sebastian says some stuff happened with his dad and he wanted to talk to her. Carrie says she doesn't want to talk because he won't want to hear what she has to say. Eventually, she gives up and tells Sebastian he broke her heart and she hates him because she still loves him. Walt comes up behind Carrie and says Sebastian needs to leave. Ha, GTFO, Sebastian. Meanwhile, Tom and Deb bond over how crazy she is for thinking about the dishes when she could have an opportunity to have sex with The Tom Bradshaw.
After an angry phone call with his dad (who was in a hot tub), Sebastian leaves the car to be stolen by a bunch of black people who had been checking it out. The morning, Walt tells Bennett that he wants to be with him even if there are no guarantees. Bennett agrees and it will only be 30 or so more years of fighting before they can legally be married in New York State. Carrie gets another interview with the woman from the writing school and everything is fine and no one lost too much water.
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