Episode Report Card Daniel: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT I'm Here for the Right Reasons -- Booze
By Daniel | Season 5 | Episode 4 | Aired on 06.08.2009
s." Jake also talks about the difference between the Wes they see and the Wes Jillian sees, which is like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.Speaking of which, Wes is spiriting Jillian away outside where she tells him how she missed his song. "I don't know one girl who wouldn't want that, and know that it was genuine," she tells him when he asks if it wasn't too cheesy. Meanwhile, the other guys are watching them snuggling through the hotel window, and one of them actually yells "disgusting!" out the window at them, and inside Ed gripes about how there's a "country-singin' turd" out there with Jillian. And they wonder if Wes is talking about with Jillian what he was talking about with them, which Tanner tells us is that he's still got a girl back home. Which isn't exactly what we saw him say, was it? Which doesn't mean he didn't say it, but I kinda think that if this show had that recorded, they would have shown us, right? "We'll just have to see how it plays," says Tanner. It sounds like Wes has also confided in them that he's just there for his music.
Outside, Wes is proudly saying he's never cheated once in his thirty-two years. To paraphrase Chris Rock, you're not SUPPOSED to cheat? What you want, a cookie? And then they're making out before heading back inside and interrupting a discussion of who the other guys think are going home.
So then Jillian goes off to talk to Jake, who says their one-on-one date was awesome, and he got really excited, and time has gone by and it cooled off, and he was disheartened to hear her say on the boat that he can be himself with her. "This is me. This is Jake," he says, and she seems a little bit confused about why this is a problem, and then he talks about how much more of a man he is than the other boys out there and he doesn't really relate to some of the things they do. Then he talks about how he doesn't want to throw anyone under the bus, but she need to be really careful about who she lets go, because there are guys there who aren't there for the right reasons. In other words, he wants to throw someone under the bus, but is actually too chickenshit to call someone out on their bullshit, but plants a bug in Jillian's ear and then doesn't get specific.
Juan comes in to take Jillian, and then Jake goes back out to talk to Ed and Tanner about how they hope Jillian sees through all the non-awesomeness of the guys who aren't them, and Tanner says something about guys not being there for the right reasons. You mean like feet, Tanner? He says he's going to lay it out for Jillian. He's not here to make friends, and if he makes enemies, he doesn't give a (bleep).
So he does sit down with her and tells her some of the other guys are being fake and not sharing with her their real lives or whatever. At first she seems to think he's just talking about the differences between how people act when the cameras are on and off, so he gets more direct: "I hate to break the news to you, but I have honestly heard guys say, 'I've got a girlfriend back at home.'" She's upset by this, and says she doesn't want him to rat anyone out, but "does anybody care enough to tell me who these people are?" So she doesn't want anyone to rat anyone out, except she wants someone to care enough about her to rat them out? Whatever, Jillian. In her annoying quavery half-crying voice, she babbles about how she's been hearing about this bullshit all night, and her conversation with Tanner was the last straw. She's worried about falling in love with someone who has a girlfriend, I guess.
"It's the rudest possible thing I've ever, ever known in my entire life. I would never do that to somebody," she says.
So she goes out to tell the guys that this is a conversation that she never thought she'd have to have. "The rumour around the block is that there are some people here who are still in relationships and came into this in relationships or have a hidden agenda," she says, and babbles a million words a minute about how she adores some people there and she doesn't want the fakey phony-baloney guys to take time away from the guys who are "here for the right reasons." Is that...? Can we get a count on that? I think ... yes, that is the one-thousandth time this episode the phrase "here for the right reasons" has been used!
Anyway, Jillian says the cocktail party is over, and stomps off, and some of the guys don't know what she's talking about, like NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL, and Robby angrily says he doesn't have a rose and now he's not going to get to spend time with her because some (bleep) has (bleeped) it all up, and Michael says, "I straight up have a crush on that girl," and I can't believe that didn't make everybody crack up.
So Jillian stares at the pictures of the remaining bachelors and whines about guys not being there for the right reasons. "My feelings are hurt, and I feel cheated," she says. She doesn't want to cry about this, because whoever would do this to her doesn't deserve her emotion. Hey, Jillian! You know who's doing this to you? ABC! She says she just wants to find out who it is, and she wants them gone.
So Chris Harrison comes in to talk to her about what's going on, and she rails against the snakes who are here, and she's taking a huge step out of her life to do this. Chris says they'll "get to the bottom of this" before the next rose is handed out, before wondering how they can actually get the truth. Jillian says she doesn't know, and Chris says he hopes they'll "man up" and tell the truth, and I think "manning up" would involve skipping this show altogether.
So Chris goes out to talk to the assembled men about how Jillian is upset about these revelations, and they need to deal with it: "Let's get this out in the open. If you've got something to say, say it now." Some of the guys look around, some stare straight ahead. Nobody speaks for a long while, before Jake says he's got something to say, even though he's always been the guy who doesn't say much. Some might even say you're too perfect, right, Jake? "I'm here to find love, and I would be really, really pissed if I knew somebody with a girlfriend was here taking away time that I could spend with Jillian." He advises whoever it is to "be a man" because he'd like to know. Still, nobody says anything, and Jesse says it's going to come out anyway.
Then Robby whines (on his behalf and on Michael's) that they didn't get any alone time with her, so they got screwed and if they get sent home it will be a "travesty," and you'd think this was a war-crimes tribunal the way he's going on. He calls people cowards, but not like Brendan Fraser in School Ties, which would have been awesome. Lots of shots of Tanner looking increasingly agitated. And now the guys elect to just announce that they don't have girlfriends ("I'm clean, I'm clean!" says Wes, because he is Mr. Hilarious all the time), and then Dave suggests Jillian just tell them who said what about whom, and Tanner whirls around and snaps at someone, "What are you looking at me for?" and then Chris says no one has mentioned any particular names.
For Dave, it's about living with someone who's "snitching," and he thinks it's fair for Jillian to come out and say who it was since they're going to have to live with whoever's been hanging guys out to dry, and I hate to break it to the hopefully-somewhat-more-sober-at-least-right-now Dave that he might not remember talking about staring at her ass or how her tits were hanging out, but he's not going to be spending another night living with those guys, whatever happens here. More shots of Tanner looking uncomfortable, even though it was sanctimonious too-perfect Jake who really started the ball rolling tonight. Chris talks about not betraying the trust of the one-on-one time, like it's an actual legally protected right, and then Jillian says she just wants to know if any of it's true, and Chris asks the guys if they're all here for the right reasons, and a couple of the guys speak up, and there's one more exhortation for the rat to not be a coward and step forward, and Tanner l