Previously: the celebrities had to make art, and La Toya came through for the women by using her brother's fame. John Rich and Marlee both raised a whole bunch of money. Nene and Star sort of had a tiff, but it was nothing compared to Meat Loaf's crazy-as-hell screaming at Gary Busey. Together, the teams raised more money than the show's ever raised in an entire season. Since Jose left early in the episode because his father was "ill," Hatch was eliminated when the men lost (even though the guys tried to get Trump to eliminate Busey). Also previously -- and sort of in the future: Outside the world of reality TV (or is it?), Trump has expressed interest in running for president.
Marlee's happy about her win, and Meat Loaf thanks her for letting John Rich keep his money for his charity. She says it's a no-brainer. Everyone's happy now, because the teams are even (five vs. five) and both project managers get to give their charities a bunch of money. Everyone toasts, but La Toya's mad because Marlee thinks she's the weakest player. La Toya says she's not going away easily. Busey glowers at Rich, and Rich asks him if that's hate in his eye. Busey says it's actually concern and loyalty. Mark tells Busey it's nothing personal, but Busey says he feels motivated by everyone being against him. All the guys interview that it's Busey's time to go home. If only Trump didn't love him so damn much. "Money, money, money..." I'm not sure about this fringy leather jacket Busey's sporting.
Marlee meets with Bill Austin from the Starkey Hearing Foundation to present him with a check for $1 million. We don't get to see Rich's charity, St. Jude, get their half-million. But I'm sure they were happy. The teams line up on a rooftop in the wind, and Rich thanks Trump for letting them choose to split the winnings. Trump says he'd never have let it happen if he were them, but Marlee reminds him this is for charity. Trump: "You're nicer people than I am." Uh, duh. Anyway, Trump tells them about Australian Gold, "one of the hottest products in the sun-care industry." Of course it must be, because Trump never speaks in superlatives. He goes on about Steve, the head of Australian Gold, who is one of the most amazing entrepreneurs ever. The task: Teams are to "think inside the box." Using a 10-foot-by-10-foot glass box, they have to make a marketing thing for Australian Gold. They'll be judged on creativity/originality, brand messaging, and continuing the marketing theme outside the glass box. Trump asks if they all understand. No one speaks up, so we get no clarification, but I'm confused. A 10-by-10 box? What? Project managers will be La Toya and Mark. La Toya's playing for AIDS Project Los Angeles, and Mark's playing for Save the Music. The winning charity will get $20,000 from Trump and $20,000 from Australian Gold. Trump tells them what a great product Australian Gold is. I mean, look no further than CEO Steve and his wife, Tomisue, who look like they're made of leather. Tip to the teams: Don't put them in the 10-by-10-foot box.
Backbone's brainstorming. They decide to be pirates looking for treasure, and the treasure is Australian Gold. But the guys are going to "fight cleavage with cleavage" (TM Meat Loaf) because they know the women will be using their Playmate Hope in a bikini. So they'll have ladies dressed in gold somewhere in the glass box with their treasure. Or something. Busey thinks (or, rather, knows instinctively) it's a bad idea, because he's never seen a pirate movie where pirates are putting on suntan lotion. Not Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, or Orlando Bloom. So, what, he's seen just the one pirate movie? Mark tells Busey he's standing by this and he'll go home if it goes bad.
ASAP. La Toya puts Nene and Marlee in charge of creative, Hope is going to go buy stuff, Star is in charge of graphics. Nene tells us that La Toya "gave herself... nothing." They brainstorm, which involves people throwing out ideas, and La Toya blankly saying, "Um. I don't know." Marlee shit-talks about her behind her back. Nene rolls her eyes a lot. La Toya says, "I'm thinking..." then trails off. Star interviews that it looks like they're going to lose another creative task to the men. While they're still brainstorming, Steve, Tomisue, and Melinda (who also works for their company) come in. La Toya asks them a couple questions, about demographics and the product. They tell the ladies that their logo, Sydney the koala bear, is very important.
They tell the guys the same thing, and use the word "treasure," so Mark thinks it's perfect to go with pirates. As Tomisue's talking about how much kids and teenagers like it, Busey pipes up, "It gives you a sexual feeling." The Australian Gold folks aren't impressed, and neither is Backbone. Rich asks the CEOs if they've ever used pirates; they haven't. After the executives leave, Rich tells his team he's not sure the pirate thing will work, but Mark and Meat Loaf are committed and they move ahead with it. Lil Jon's in charge of costumes and props with Busey. Lil Jon realizes he's just baby-sitting and keeping Busey out of everyone else's way so they can get work done.
ASAP. La Toya decides to go with a beach theme and to put a totally gold man and woman in there, from head to toe. Nene's not sure it's creative enough, and doesn't quite understand it. La Toya's like, "Just make it fun." Hope volunteers to be one of the gold people, but La Toya tells her "just the models for now, okay?" La Toya interviews that Hope could have been a model, but she needed her to work on funding and shopping. Hope interviews that she's just going to lay low since she offered to be the model that she is, and La Toya told her no. Star and La Toya get into an argument because La Toya wants twelve banners, which costs more than twice of their entire printed budget. La Toya's like, "I want them all," and Star tries to explain the concept of a budget to her. La Toya just thinks this is all more confirmation that everyone is out to get her.
Backbone. Mark, Rich, and Meat Loaf show up at the fabricators' to show them what they'd like. They want their box to be covered with planks, they'd like a mast with a crow's nest, and in the center will be the treasure with Australian Gold coming out of it. The fabricators nod, totally bored. Hope, Nene, and Marlee have to go buy props and costumes. In the van, though, they realize they have no idea what they're doing or what they're supposed to buy. Star and La Toya show up at their construction room. Star's going to work on graphics with the graphic artist, leaving La Toya to offer instructions to the fabricator. She asks him what they're building, and he's like, "Whatever you'd like." She tells him the theme is a beach with palm trees and koala bears. They have no clue what she wants because, guess what? She doesn't have a clue.
Busey and Lil Jon buy a bunch of pirate crap, as much as they can. They wanted a giant koala bear, but it's the wrong color and isn't wearing sunglasses. The ladies show up at the same costumer shop and buy the exact koala bear that the guys passed on. Marlee says it was a no-brainer to get the koala bear, since the executives emphasized that. Nene's going to be the one to wear the koala suit. Lil Jon and Busey are done shopping, but unfortunately have to wait about an hour for their prop to come down. Busey sings and blathers and otherwise annoys the crap out of Lil Jon. He says Busey's his kryptonite, and he's had about enough.
Back at the fabricator, the guys are brainstorming a little more when Ivanka shows up. Ivanka thinks Mark is leading well, but Meat Loaf seems to be the idea generator. They do their little pirate chant for Ivanka, who smiles and likes it. Then she shows up at ASAP. La Toya tells her their concept is "Living the gold life," which is their beach theme. Ivanka asks how they're differentiating themselves, since it's a very literal take on the task. La Toya realizes then that they have to add something to this to make it different and exciting.
Mark thinks Lil Jon and Busey did a great job with the pirate costumes and props. He fills them in on what they're doing with the box. Back at ASAP, La Toya checks in on Star's graphics and makes some suggestions: She'd like the background to be gold. La Toya finds it interesting how often they keep losing tasks that Star's so involved in, yet the blame never falls on Star. Then La Toya calls Hope and tells her they're going to have to pick up 125 fifty-pound bags of sand. They wonder how they're going to carry over 6,000 pounds of sand, and Nene thinks they probably could have sprinkled some sand instead of having an entire beach.
Backbone. The guys are sitting and coming up with their marketing strategy, which is Mark's biggest concern since he never knows how any of the guys will behave in the actual experience. They're trying to "weather" a box prop by beating it with chains and a hammer. Busey beats it up, and they all cheer, as Mark interviews that he never knows what Busey's going to do or how he'll interact with the public. At ASAP, the fabricator asks La Toya if she'd like to come and help them now. She shockingly has no experience with manual labor, but she jumps in and helps. When Nene, Marlee, and Hope come back, Marlee's pissed that they have to actually build it, because she didn't know that. Nene's worried because they don't have a plan for the day. She thinks they might look stupid. Isn't that the norm?
In the van on the morning of the event, La Toya decides she wants to put a beach on only half of the box and to make the other half a winter theme. She says she came up with it this morning, because you also need sunscreen in the snow, for skiing. Hope and Nene are both annoyed, since this means more work today to make it look like a snow theme. Backbone, on the other hand, is sticking with their theme. Mark, Busey, and Meat Loaf stay at the box and prep it, while the Jo(h)ns head out to dress the models. Back with ASAP, the ladies are wondering how they're going to move these fifty bags of sand. La Toya is rushing around doing everything -- carrying stuff, painting plants gold, and more -- to make sure she wins since the girls want her to fail.
Backbone. Mark's worried because they need more manpower, which is when the Jo(h)ns come back with a crew of people dressed like pirates. Mark puts everyone to work. ASAP. La Toya's worrying because it's getting close to time for the task to open. It's a very hodge-podge mess of a beach and a snow scene. Outside, a couple of the ladies are playing beach volleyball. Don shows up, and La Toya tells him this team doesn't work well together. He understands. He interviews their display is a mess, basically, but brand integration is good. Nene takes off her koala head to tell him that they did a bad job, because it wasn't creative, there was no experience. She thinks the guys have to be awful for them to win.
Backbone's starting up with their pirate display. They do their pirate chant, then talk like pirates as they show folks the gold sirens protecting their Australian Gold. Lil Jon wonders where else you can see Meat Loaf, Mark McGrath, Gary Busey, John Rich, and Lil Jon dressed as pirates, "along with some pirate ladies and a three-foot-tall pirate?" He says it's an experience you never forget, and you'll remember their product. Don shows up, and they decide not to make him walk the plank. Don thinks they've done something creative and energetic, with more direction than the ladies' display, but he's not sure it has the message the executives are looking for.
Now that Don's visited and we've seen everything we could possibly see from these weird 10-by-10-foot box displays, the executives show up (because, remember, these episodes have to be bloated into lasting two hours). Steve, Tomisue, and Melinda show up at ASAP first. La Toya explains the concept to them: why she added the snow and the beach. Star says she's sure that they liked the brand integration and messaging, but is less sure about their creativity and originality. She likes that they added something different, though. La Toya says that, even though she was PM, she's been ostracized and she knows what her team's trying to do, but it's not going to work. She's not going away.
up, the executives visit Backbone. Meat Loaf greets them with his pirate accent, and they're laughing and enjoying it until Busey comes up and pulls them away while Meat Loaf's talking. Meat Loaf and Mark both interview about how the only thing that could possibly go wrong is going wrong: Busey showing them around the experience. Steve asks Busey if they can walk around and look at the exhibit, and Busey tells him no. The guys come over doing their chant and try to take the executives away, but Busey pushes Mark away and tells him he has something to show them. Mark's worried they'll hold Busey's behavior against the team. Finally, Tomisue talks to Mark and he spins it all very positive and feels that he saved everything. Mark congratulates everyone on his team and tells them how unbelievable that was. I think he means in a good way...
Trump meets with the executives. They tell him they loved the men's jingle and buzz they created outside the box. However, they didn't utilize "Live the Gold Life" or Sydney, the koala bear, which they stressed in their Q&A with the teams. They liked the women's messaging, that they used "Live the Gold Life" and Sydney. But they didn't think they utilized their team very well, since Hope was wearing a jacket and playing volleyball; they thought she'd be front and center drawing in a crowd. They tell Trump this is one of the most difficult decisions they've had to make at Australian Gold, but the winner is...
Boardroom time. Trump asks La Toya how her team did. She says she hopes they did extremely well. He asks Nene, who thinks they did okay, because La Toya was just okay as the project manager. She says La Toya never really nailed down a concept, but she hopes they won. He asks if she's a big fan of La Toya and the job she did. La Toya says Nene isn't a fan of hers, because "That's just Nene." La Toya says actions speak louder than words to her, and she doesn't like Nene's actions. Ivanka reminds Nene that she has been verbal about La Toya's inadequacies, and Don agrees. Nene asks if they're talking business or personal. Trump says he's surprised because she's done really, really well. Nene has the nerve to tell Trump, "I don't think you know everything" that's happened. He asks her to tell him and says the executives thought she did really well. Nene says she can tell him that her team probably doesn't agree. Why do I love her so? Trump asks Marlee, who says La Toya couldn't be any sweeter as a person, but has a different energy and style as a leader. She says the leaders had more emphasis on organization and agenda. La Toya disagrees and says Marlee has no right to say that, since she wasn't around her. Nene says they all have a right to speak their opinions, and La Toya agrees.
Trump moves on to Hope and asks why she wasn't used in a swimsuit since she is the Playmate of the Year. La Toya says they were so rushed to get everything done and needed Hope to help with that. Hope says she only needed to be a model for one day. Star says that they had some good models, but they didn't hold a candle to Hope. La Toya says she would have loved to see Hope that way, and Trump reminds her she's the project manager and got to make that decision. Hope says it was cold, but she was willing to get in a bathing suit and be painted gold for the task, because that's what you do.
Trump asks Mark if he would have used Hope if he'd had her on his team. He says that would have a been a slam-dunk and is already imagining the flier he'd have made. All the guys are shaking their heads, baffled. Trump asks Mark what's on his wrist, and Mark looks all nervous and says, "You got me. That is a tattoo." Everyone laughs. Trump asks if Mark likes it, and Mark says that in the same way a Brooks Brothers suit is common in Trump's job, tattoos are in the rock genre. Trump: "It's too bad. It's too bad." Where is he from? 1930? Trump asks Busey if he thinks they won. Busey says he has a feeling they did a good job, and they took a risk. Trump asks what the theme was, and Busey says it was pirates. When Trump asks why, Mark says that they were going with Australian Gold being the treasure or booty. He says the beach theme is very common, so they went for an original take. Meat Loaf says he has no idea how they did, but he says part of the criteria was outside of the box, and they were packed with people when the executives came.
Mark says that they used the word "treasure" in their Q&A, so th
ey had that to back up this decision. Trump asks if they didn't tell them they've never used a pirate theme, though. Ivanka says this has been a theme all season: The guys take risks and go a little out there, while the women play it safe. She asks if they'd be surprised if there was a loss since they weren't quite as literal as them. Mark says they're kind of radical guys and they like to think outside the box. He says they're all really good at that, and will live and die by that edge. Trump asks Mark how important it is for him to win tonight. Mark says it's hugely important, since he probably won't be here if he doesn't win. Trump asks what that means, and Mark says he'd have to take full responsibility for this task. Trump says that's a big statement, then asks Rich how he feels. Rich says it was a blast, and everyone was having a lot of fun with it. Lil Jon says they made people's day with their experience. "We were frickin' pirates, and they loved that." Trump asks whose idea it was to write the chant; it was John Rich. Trump tells him he's doing very well.Ivanka says that there are a lot of creative men on the team, and asks who is the most creative. Mark says it's almost a four-way tie for first (I'm assuming he's not including himself? Or is he leaving Busey out?), but he'll say Meat Loaf and John Rich are tied for first, since they're two of the most creative guys ever. Lil Jon nods in agreement. Mark says Lil Jon's also very creative and Busey has nuggets that you have to pick and choose, but when they come they're brilliant. Trump asks Busey if that's a compliment, and he says, without hesitation, that it is. Trump agrees. Don asks whose idea it was not to go with the koala. Lil Jon says if you look at their koala, it's a certain color and they couldn't find one that color available to buy. They didn't want to offend the client by misrepresenting their logo. They get to look at photos of each other's boxes and literature. Mark says he thinks the ladies did a good job; it's simple, but not close to theirs. La Toya thinks they're close, but her team emphasized the product more. Marlee says pirates don't have anything to do with tanning lotion or Australia.
Trump asks Don what the executives thought of the women's team: They liked the messaging and the dual-sport (winter/summer) theme that La Toya came up with. They liked the inclusion of Sydney the mascot, and they liked the motto. They didn't like the public interaction, which wasn't as engaging, and they didn't like that they underutilized the team's talents by not putting Hope in a bathing suit and by covering Nene up with a koala suit. Ivanka says the executives loved the men's interaction with the crowd, and thought they did a great job with the product and educating consumers about it. They also liked the pirate chant. They didn't like the pirate theme, though it was well-executed, since it wasn't consistent with their brand messaging, and they didn't like that Sydney the koala wasn't included. They also didn't like that Busey offered himself as a potential representative for their brand messaging during the presentation, since it wasn't an appropriate time. Trump says the executives really liked both teams. They thought the men did a wonderful job, but the ladies win. La Toya's charity is getting $40,000. Trump tells Nene she can go apologize, but Nene shakes her head no. Trump sends the ladies to safety in the suite and tells the men to stay put; someone will be fired.
In the suite, Nene tells La Toya she doesn't appreciate her trying to use her name in a negative way, since she's never said she doesn't like La Toya. She says this isn't personal; it's business. She wants La Toya to say that she's real, because that's what she is. If La Toya doesn't like it, she can go run in the bathroom and hide. "Go and hide! Go and hide!" La Toya tells her she doesn't need to yell, then she interviews that Nene's a big bully, who is all mouth and height. Nene keeps yelling at her, calling her Casper the ghost and telling her to "Be gone!" The other women's mouths are literally agape. La Toya interviews that she and Nene are cut from two different cloths and she refuses to stoop to her level. Nene tells La Toya her last name is the only reason she's gotten anything, and she needs to act her age, not 12. "You are an old lady!" Star says she'd like to watch the men self-destruct, please. They quiet down, but it's obviously awkward.
Trump tells the men it's never easy for him to fire people he respects, and he respects everyone in this room. He asks Mark if he still thinks he should be fired, and Mark says he wishes he didn't have to say it, but if they didn't like the pirate theme, that's on him. Trump reminds him that they also didn't like Busey pitching himself to the executives, and Meat Loaf says he disagrees 100 percent with Mark. He says their project manager is always the leader in the presentation, but Busey took over here and took them away and even shoved Mark away. Busey says he didn't shove anyone away, and Meat Loaf says he doesn't even realize what he does. Meat Loaf tells Trump that they create tasks for Gary to keep him busy and out of the way. Meat Loaf says that Busey forced the executives off with him, and Busey says he didn't force anyone. Trump asks if it's really so bad if Busey was talking about the product. Ivanka says it wasn't just the product, since he also pitched himself as being a spokesperson for the project. Ivanka asks if Meat Loaf is upset because he could lose a strong player, but Meat Loaf says he was really worried about Busey's behavior. Trump asks Meat Loaf if he's saying Busey's a liability, and Meat Loaf says "Big time."
Busey defends himself, and Lil Jon says he'll tell them what he saw: Busey took the executives and practically handcuffed them to him. Busey tries to interrupt and Lil Jon tells him to shut up. Don says he's been in one of those "ear locks" with Busey, too, and he's very passionate about what he's doing but the executives said one of their negatives was that he pitched them to be a spokesperson. Busey says he didn't pitch them. Ivanka says she doesn't think him pitching was the reason they lost, but it's interesting to her that the whole team thinks he's a liability going forward. Busey says it's been this way since they began. Back in the suite, Star says she thinks Gary has moments of rationality, only in the boardroom. They all agree he's focused when he needs to be, and they don't think he's going home. Trump asks Rich how he feels, and he says he used to give Busey the benefit of the doubt about his crazy behavior, thinking it's just who he is, but after the boardroom last week -- when Trump asked Busey if he thinks he's a deceptive player and Busey said he gets a kick out of keeping people off-balance -- he now thinks Busey knows exactly what he's doing. He says Busey's very focused in the boardroom, but is nearly impossible to wrangle outside of here.
Trump asks what about Mark, as project manager, wanting to quit. The whole team says he doesn't want to quit, and Mark says there's zero quit in him, but if they lost solely on concept, he's ready to take responsibility. Trump asks if he's changing his tone now, and Don says he told him the same thing when he visited: that he can't really blame anyone else. Mark says if they lost solely on concept, it's on him. Don asks why he didn't bring up the Busey thing, and Mark says that's an obvious issue. Don says he didn't tell him about the issues when he visited. Mark says he just think it's an obvious issue at this point, since Busey's someone they have to work around. Busey says they want to work around him, and Meat Loaf says they don't want to; they're forced to. Meat Loaf brings up Busey saying something disturbing to Tomisue when they met them initially, and Busey says he didn't. But the whole team says he did, so Don asks what he said. Meat Loaf says it was something about how this makes him really sexual. Busey says he did not say that, and Mark says they're not lying, and asks Busey why in the world they would make this up. Trump asks Mark who he'll bring back, and Mark says he can only bring one person back. Star says she wants to see if Mark has skills. Mark and Busey sit in the lobby and Busey still denies doing those things. Mark asks if he thinks they're making stuff up to get him. Busey says he does think that. They continue to bicker into commercial.
Trump asks Don and Ivanka, who both think that typically the answer would be Mark, for concept and being the PM, but they both think Busey's the weak link here. NOW, if Trump fires Mark and the Trumplets agree it was the right choice, I'm going to throw things. Mark and Busey continue their bickering until Amanda tells them to head back into the boardroom. Trump glares at them, and then asks Busey if he said something on the terrible side to Tomisue. Busey denies it, so Don says they all seem like pretty forthcoming guys. Busey says John Rich wasn't around (which makes me think that Busey thinks they're saying he said something inappropriate during the experience, when they mean earlier in the Q&A; he really is never lucid, is he?). Mark shrugs to Don, "He doesn't even know what you're talking about." Ivanka wonders what the team misinterpreted to think that he said it makes him feel sexual. He goes on and on about it making him feel good about himself. Don wonders what that has to do with his sexuality, and Busey says he didn't say that. Mark disagrees, so Busey says he wasn't even there. Mark tells Busey he doesn't even know when they're talking about, because it was the executive meeting, and he was there. Busey still denies saying it, and Trump asks him again. Busey says he didn't say it, and Mark says he doesn't even know where they're talking about, which is what they deal with all day long.
Trump moves on to Mark. He reminds him he was very strong in the fact that he should go; he took responsibility. Trump asks Mark if he still thinks he should go, now that people ganged up on Busey. Mark says yes, if it's purely based on concept, because he came up with that. Trump says the theme was the primary reason they lost, and Mark says Trump probably doesn't have a choice then. Trump says that's his problem, because they didn't like the p
irate theme. Don asks if Busey pulling the executives off to the side made a bad first impression on the executives and maybe turned them off of the theme. Ooh, Don's sort of taking a side here, isn't he? I like it. Mark does think that happened, and he explains Busey's three strikes here: A. [sic] He didn't bring the executives to Mark. B. He didn't integrate Mark in once he went over to them. C. He pushed Mark away. Busey denies that too. Mark says this is what they always get, and Trump says that Busey's a different kind of a guy. Mark says he is, too, but he can still work in a small group situation. Busey says he can too. Mark says Busey's unconvention [sic] is what they love, but what they hate in the small group.Trump asks Busey why he should keep him and fire Mark, who's an impressive guy in so many ways other than he was the leader and came up with a "lousy theme." I wouldn't say it was "lousy." I mean, really, they asked for creativity and then are judging the guys based on them coming up with something... oh, I don't know... original for their product. Seems a little contradictory, doesn't it? Busey says he's a good force of nature, and Trump says a lot of these guys are. Don asks why the recurring theme is that they come after him, and Busey wonders why. He says he's going 100 percent and hasn't failed. Don asks if they're going after him because he's the strongest player, and Busey says, "Maybe." Trump says he doesn't think Busey's the strongest player at all, but Mark was so willing to leave. Now, all of a sudden, he's fighting Busey. But doesn't Mark think he has to go by what he said awhile ago. Trump says that Mark's project manager and picked the theme, which they didn't like, so Mark is fired. Trump tells Busey he better shape up, and watch his hands and his mouth and all that crap. He says they can't all be wrong. Busey nods and leaves. Trump says Mark's a good man, but it was his theme and he was project manager. Ivanka tells him he did the right thing (liar!), but it wasn't easy. Don nods, but I like to think that was editing and he really didn't agree at that moment. Because he was very clearly pro-Mark.
Taxicab confession: Mark says it was his concept and he couldn't send Lil Jon or John Rich or Meat Loaf home, so Busey was the only logical person to bring back to the boardroom. Mark says he's not a martyr, but who else could he point a finger at when the concept is the reason they lost.
week: Busey's project manager again. He impersonates a cat. Lil Jon begs Ivanka to save him: "Take me with you." The ladies are still annoyed by La Toya's baby-talking. In the boardroom, Lil Jon tells Trump that "Gary is not always here on Earth with us." In other words: More of the same. Wouldn't it be nice if Gary or La Toya had gone home so we could get a little shake-up in what's going to happen each week?
DeAnn, a writer and editor in Portland, Oregon, went from amused by to tired of Busey in one week. You can contact her at twopmodmars@gmail.com.
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