Previously: Jose played gay. Busey flashed "Big Wednesday." Lil Jon won. Nene was surprisingly awesome. Dionne was a quitter. Back up in the suite, the guys are celebrating their third win in a row and feeling sorry for the ladies, when they hear the ladies arguing in the hall about Dionne. John Rich says it was "palpably sad" when the women came back in, and he feels bad for Nene. Nene cries about how rude Dionne is, and Star tells her Dionne's gone, so get over it. La Toya tells Lil Jon she knows she's dealing with sneaky, cunning girls, which is why they're giving her no work and then saying she doesn't do anything. Just then, the teams are all called back to the boardroom. Lil Jon wonders what the hell this could mean? Could it be time to split the teams up? I guess we'll find out after "Money, money, money..."
Boardroom. Trump wants to talk to Nene about the ugly goodbye between her and Dionne. They all agree Nene may be a lot of things, but she's no coward. Trump tells them it's time to start their task. "I'm a big fan of art. I have many, many wonderful pieces throughout various homes. I love looking at the art. I love touching the art. I have fun with it." Why does that sound so dirty? Also, why doesn't he just say, "I'm very, very rich and in love with myself"? He tells the teams they're going to create their own works of arts, which can be painting, drawing, sculpture, whatever. They will put it in a gallery and sell it to whoever they want (friends, family, whatever). They'll also design and sell New Era baseball caps. Whichever celebrity designs the best one will get a sizeable donation for their charity. Don and George (George!) will be Trump's advisers. La Toya and Marlee get in a bit of a tiff over who will be project manager, but Marlee wins, so she's it. John Rich is Backbone's PM, because he wants to show Trump how generous country music can be. Someone will win a lot of money, and someone will be fired.
Backbone's discussing art. Let's ask Busey what art is: "A-R-T. A righteous truth. ... Because you need heart for the art, and the art brings the heart. Therefore they go together. In a wonderful way. In a composition. That embraces. They eyes. Of the viewer." It's probably mean to make fun of someone who has actual brain damage, but it's almost impossible not to with Busey. Back in their war room, John Rich calls someone named "Charlie" (Sheen?) and tells him he needs big checks. The guy's going to fly a jet in from Nashville with some big donors. He's guaranteeing $500,000 from himself, and tells everyone they have to bring in something. Jose interviews that it's impossible for him. Rich says that he will hold it against them later if they don't bring in any money.
ASAP. Marlee's telling her team the fighting is over, and they need to pull together and bring in money. She asks La Toya to do something in relation to her family. La Toya says she can't get money here from L.A. in such short time, but she will do a painting that says, "I love you, Michael. I miss you," which Star says is a big deal. Marlee interviews that she's testing La Toya on this task, and she has to step up and prove herself this time. Poor La Toya.
Jose goes to the boardroom to tell Trump that his father, who has been sick, has taken a turn for the worse and he's going to leave now. His charity is B.A.T., Baseball Assistance Team. Trump's going to give the charity $25,000. It's probably terrible of me, but I suspect he's embellishing to get out of this task where John Rich is going to require him to bring in donations. Trump tells Jose we'll miss him, but we really won't. Jose gives a farewell interview, saying it was great to make so many friends, but the best part was Trump giving his charity $25,000.
Backbone van. The guys feel terrible that Jose's father is battling cancer (so, okay, yes, I'm a terrible person). John Rich wants to make a piece of art with Jose's father's name. Richard Hatch interviews that Jose didn't raise any money in the first challenge, and the jaded reality TV person has to wonder if Jose would stoop to that level? Thank you, Hatch, for saying what we were all thinking. They show up at Michael's to get their art supplies. ASAP is also there, buying glitter and hollering at each other. Lil Jon wants bright colors. Rich wants glue, but asks us not to sniff it. Editors quickly cut to Busey. Then Rich tells us that "Gary Busey is kind of like a one-legged cat trying to bury a turd on a frozen pond." Long pause. "Just spinning." Except that sounds like something Busey would say. Busey asks Meat Loaf if he's getting canvases for everyone, and it pisses Meat Loaf off. He warns us that his switch is "this close" with Busey, and it's not pretty when he's pissed off. Then he invites Mark to the sporting-goods store with him and tells him about Busey. Mark tells him he's gotta hold that in.
ASAP van. Marlee's telling everyone that John Rich is the king of Nashville, so she's feeling a ton of pressure. La Toya tells the ladies that she has a shirt of her brother's that she carries with her everywhere. It has pictures of him on the front, his signature on the back, and there were only two of them made. She gives it to Marlee to raise money, and then interviews that Michael would have wanted this because charities meant so much to him. It gives Marlee goose bumps that La Toya would give up that shirt.
Backbone's art workspace. Meat Loaf can't find his paint or markers, and asks Busey if he took his paint. Everyone claims the bags around the room, and then Meat Loaf totally goes off the deep end screaming at Busey that he doesn't want to fuck with him. He gets all bulled up and yells that he's the last person in the world that Busey ever wants to fuck with. "Do you understand me?!" Uh, it would be pretty hard not to -- even for Gary. Hey, he warned us it isn't pretty when he gets mad. Mark jumps in the middle of them, Lil Jon pulls Meat Loaf back, and John Rich asks him not to do this and then leads Busey away. Meat Loaf says Busey will be in the hospital in about four minutes. Busey swears all that stuff is his as Rich asks him not to engage and leads him out. Mark asks Meat Loaf what's his problem and then tells us he literally had to stop Meat Loaf from ripping Busey's head off. Out in the hall, Busey says he has no idea what's going on, because all of that stuff was in his basket. Rich asks Busey to just stand outside so they don't go at each other. He tells him he'll come and get him. So he goes in, and Busey follows him right back in. Meat Loaf's taken half the shit off Busey's table when they find Meat Loaf's bag in the corner. But instead of apologizing, he screams at Busey, "Take your fucking spray paint" as he throws it at him. Busey, to his credit, totally calmly says thanks, I will take it. Then Rich says this language is embarrassing to him, given that his charity is for a bunch of sick kids. Meat Loaf apologizes and says he's done doing that. Busey tries to ask Meat Loaf if they're okay, but they're not. Mark tells Meat Loaf to use that energy for the art. Which he does by covering a basketball in paint and dropping it on a piece of paper. Wow. Creative.
ASAP. La Toya's making a New Era cap that has a sparkly Michael Jackson glove on it. Star, meanwhile, is working on their printed materials, but can't get the printer to work. Nene would like her to shut the hell up. All the ladies have to put their painty handprint on a piece of paper, and Star doesn't want to get dirty. She does it, then asks how the hell she gets the paint off her hand. Nene: "You just go over to the sink, girl, and get some water." Then cut to Nene interviewing: "Now, how you think you get it off your hand? You think Pinky gonna lick it off? Or me?" Star says she doesn't need to be patronized, and Nene says, "I'm not patronizing your ass." She's ready to throw Star on the printer. Then Nene works on her art, which is a snake.
Backbone. Rich says the Meat Loaf and Busey fight actually cleared some tension from the room, and now everyone is working hard. Meat Loaf's crazy painting actually looks kind of cool and Jackson Pollocky (or third-gradery). Mark would love to have a psychiatrist examine it. Busey, meanwhile is "painting an American bison standing in the green grass of the prairies of North and South Dakota, where the Sioux Indians live." Why does even that sound crazy coming from him? He says his grandmother was a half-blood Cherokee, so it's a family painting. He's related to a bison, I guess. It looks very much like a child did it. Lil Jon's making some bottles and a painting that says "VICIOUS." He feels like they're in kindergarten. Rich is making some painted cowboy boots. Hatch has made a hat with roses and purple dots on it, as he interviews that he's going to try to bring in some money even though Rich won't need it. Lil Jon tells us that Hatch's hat had roses on it, and "I was like, 'Damn, Richard, that's a really gay-ass hat. But... that's you.' " I never thought I'd enjoy Lil Jon this much, but he's awesome (and, somehow, the most normal guy on this team). The guys are done and load their stuff up to head across town. They're sure they're going to win this thing.
ASAP. Marlee (who's apparently being paid by P90X to wear a T-shirt with their logo) is worried they're going too slow with the art and the fundraising. And it's all on her, as project manager. Nene says she's called some people, but she's not going to pretend she can bring in much money. Don stops by and talks to them about art and fundraising. He asks if they think they have an advantage with fundraising, but they don't because this time it's John Rich leading the fundraiser, not Richard Hatch. While Don's there, though, Marlee gets a call from one family who's donating $133,000. Don says he can tell they're very discouraged, and he hopes it doesn't bring them down. He tells them to cheer up, because he's seen the tide change, but only if they do something about it.
Backbone's arriving at their gallery, and figuring out where they want to hang their stuff. They're figuring out who's hanging their stuff where. Mark says "We're artists right now, putting on a show." They have a crew there to help them hang their stuff. George shows up then, and Rich is worried because George is a ball-breaker; "he doesn't play." George thinks their work is great, and thinks they expressed their individual talents in their work. He doesn't know if their art will sell, though. He says they have the right spirit, but shouldn't be overconfident, because you never know if you're going to be able to sell. A jet shows up, and a giant guy and a little person get off. These are apparently John Rich's people. He tells us the hillbillies have landed and they're probably going to come over and give, give, give.
The women are still in their studio with three and a half hours until their gallery opens. Then they're stuck in traffic at 5 (duh), which is three hours before the gallery opens. La Toya wonders how they'll ever make it, on a Friday. It's 6 p.m. at Backbone, and they're all set up and ready to go, waiting. Lil Jon's even reading a magazine. So they decide to go see the girls' work. Mark and Lil Jon head over to peek in and report back. They can't believe that it's totally empty, so they do some video. Lil Jon acts out some MTV Cribs, and says they open in two hours. It's pretty amusing. They leave there at 6:30, with an hour and a half until the gallery opens. Mark says there's no way they can be open by 8. They figure the ladies must be stuck in traffic, and they're glad they're sitting around here instead of stuck in traffic. Rich actually feels bad for Marlee, because he doesn't like anyone having this much difficulty when they're trying to raise money for a good cause. The women, meanwhile, are stuck in gridlock Friday rush-hour traffic.
Meat Loaf tells Busey he did the wrong thing by yelling at him, and he's embarrassed and upset by it. He starts crying and says nothing ever gets solved by doing that. Busey: "I know. I'm aware of that." Meat Loaf says he's been beating himself up all day. Busey tells him he accepts his apology, then he interviews to us that Meat Loaf had a battle going on inside of him, and the best way he could see to win it "was to confront me in a confrontation of death, beating me senseless." He asks Meat Loaf if it felt good to vent. They bond over the fact that they've both been to anger management. Busey tells him to let it go, because he forgives him. And then he tells him the Buseyism for F-O-R-G-I-V-E is "Finding Ourselves Really Giving Individuals Valuable Energy." And he says valuable energy is his unconditional love for Meat Loaf, who thanks him. Then Busey interviews that "Meat Loaf excelled to the level of dancing on a rainbow with no fear. And no doubt." They're hugging, and Busey tells him he's glad he was on the receiving end because he understood. He really is a decent guy for forgiving Meat Loaf, because I'm not sure anyone else would have.
ASAP shows up at the gallery, but their paintings aren't there yet. Thankfully, the catering has arrived, so Star's happy about that. Marlee has Jack call the art truck, but that guy says he doesn't know when he'll be there. And this is 15 minutes before the gallery opens. She doesn't know what they'll do, since they can't accept money without art. With five minutes to open, the art's still not there. Marlee says the guy tells her ten minutes every time they talk, and it finally arrives with five minutes to go. They all run out in their heels and unload the trucks. They mostly set their art around on the floor, and put some on easels, but trying to hang some of the paintings.
Back at Backbone, the guys are counting down to 8 p.m. with a line waiting outside to get in. They open up and let folks in. Trace Adkins sends $5,000 with a pretty blond lady (he's overseas playing for the troops). The Maloofs buy some art from Lil Jon for $10,000. Mark McGrath sells a piece of his art for $10,000. Someone else gives Rich $5,000. Hatch says it's hard for him to raise money because he's not in an industry where he knows people who are wealthy. But he's trying. Busey sells a painting for $5,000.
ASAP. The ladies realize they have to open even though they're not ready. There are people waiting to get in, and they open a little late. Marlee says she was wondering where everyone was, because only a few people were waiting. Marlee says she's disappointed, and doesn't want to let her charity down. Back at Backbone, folks are still pouring in, including the midget, whose name is Two-Foot Fred. Someone buys a painted cowboy hat from Rich for $50,000. Mark says things are starting to get real right now. Someone else donates $50,000 for his painted boots. Busey's bison painting sells for $5,000. Hatch is realizing how difficult it will be for him to sell his art, so he lowers the ticket prices on his paintings.
ASAP. Finally, people start showing up, including Jill from Real Housewives of New York City, who's there for Nene. Then Marlee's Dancing With the Stars friends show up, including Jason Taylor of the New York Jets. Marlee's feeling better about the art show. She gets several bids for $25,000. Star explains that big-money bids can come in over the phone, fax or email, but they have to process them in-house. Nene says Star's going to try to say she didn't raise any money, but all Star's done is sit on the computer. Nene says she's got her eye on Star.
Don shows up at Backbone as Lil Jon sells a painting for $5,000. Rich sings the "Money, money, money" theme song. Meat Loaf sells a painting for $5,000. Hatch finally sells a painting for $1,000. He says he worked hard, so he feels like he contributed. A woman brings a St. Jude kid named Colin in. He's fighting cancer, and Rich says it helps give meaning to what they're doing here. Lil Jon says it put it all in perspective. The guys gather around for a picture with Colin.
ASAP. Federico Castelluccio (Furio on The Sopranos) shows up. He says Trump asked him to come down as an art expert, because he's actually a painter. He has to choose which New Era hat is the best. He tells Marlee they're all wonderful, and he sees a lot of effort went into these. He knows he has to think these through, since a lot of money is riding on this decision. He looks at the Backbone hats, and Mark says he felt bad that a real artist showed up, since their hats aren't that great. At ASAP, Star says she's processed $150,000 so far and she thinks there's a ridiculous donation coming in right now. Marlee yells that they got $99,000 from one person. She interviews that her donors exceeded her expectations (and $99,000 was the credit card limit, or it would have been more). Star tells her there's actually $99,000 from three different people. La Toya's T-shirt sold for $99,000. Star says with all these $99,000 donations coming in, they better be doing something special on the other side of the street.
Backbone's doing pretty well, too, though. Don't count them out just yet. Two-Foot Fred and someone else buys John Rich's rhinestone-decorated guitar, signed by the whole cast, for $470,000. The Jo(h)ns hug, all, "My brother!" It's adorable. Rich feels great about what he's done, whether they win or lose. He yells that they're sold out of art, and thanks everyone.
Boardroom time. Trump asks Rich how his team did, and Rich says he believes they won. He says everyone dug deep into their Rolodex. Trump asks who the best artist was, and Rich says it's a tie between Meat Loaf and Lil Jon. Lil Jon thanks Trump for this task, because he loved it and is going to continue doing art. Trump says he'd like twenty percent of everything, and Don's all, "Only twenty?" WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY RICH FATHER?! Trump asks about Busey's art, and Rich says the cool part is the story behind Busey's art. He says it was helpful when selling the art. Trump asks Meat Loaf about him and Busey going at it. Busey says he did not, and Meat Loaf says that whatever he thought Busey did, he should not have handled it the way he did. Trump asks Busey what happened, and he says that Meat Loaf accused him of stealing his paint. He didn't steal it, though, and Meat Loaf says he found it ultimately. Trump asks what Rich did, as project manager. He says that he finally interjected and reminded them that they were playing for charity. Busey says he was surprised, and he didn't offer anything in return. Trump asks Mark about it, and Mark says that Busey can be a lot to take. Trump asks how Rich handled it, and Mark says Rich is one of the most amazing people he's ever met in his life. Meat Loaf agrees he handled it well.
Trump turns to Marlee, who says she's thrilled. She says it was a team effort, but she's happy with herself. Star says she was impressed with Marlee, and she's never seen anyone so passionate about something. Trump says that's a big statement from Star. Trump asks La Toya how well their team worked together, and La Toya says she thought they did very well, and that Marlee was the star. She points out how late their stuff showed up, and they all get in a discussion about traffic. Trump asks La Toya who did the best hat, and she says they all did great. He asks Rich, who says Lil Jon did the best one artistically. Trump says that Federico chose La Toya's hat, so her charity, AIDS Project Los Angeles, will get $20,000. Trump asks about the T-shirt tribute to "my friend, Michael." Trump thinks it's fantastic that she gave that to Marlee, who says that it was amazing that she would contribute that, since she knew how much it meant to her. Trump says the men are starting to get scared.
Trump tells them now that there has never been money raised in a whole season like both teams raised this time. He says $99,000 sounds like a lot of money, but John Rich isn't shivering. Rich: "No, sir." Trump asks Marlee why her charity is so important to her. She says the Starkey Hearing Foundation gives out 100,000 hearing aids for free every year, in Third World countries. John Rich says he's playing for St. Jude, which is country music's charity so he's been going there and playing for years. Now that he has his own son, he says, it means even more to him that they won't turn any children away and that they do research on rare forms of cancer. Trump says they're both great charities, and it's sad that one team is going to lose even though everybody did a fantastic job, except maybe Meat Loaf's anger. He says he's prepared to make a deal: If they both agree to it, the losing team will keep the money for his or her charity. Rich says absolutely, and Marlee agrees, too. Trump's surprised they're both agreeing, because he doesn't think they should be certain they win. But they both don't care, and think it's good for both charities to get money.
Trump says it's time to tell them who won. George says the men's team alone raised more money than any task in the show's history. They raised $626,908. George thinks it's spectacular, and Marlee says "Wow." Trump says he hears Rich did most of it, and all the men agree. Don says the women raised $986,000, for an all-time record on the show. Trump says Marlee did a wonderful job. She and her interpreter, Jack, are both crying. She yells at him to stop it. They raised $1,640,000 between the two teams. He says he's a little disappointed Marlee didn't raise $1 million, so he's throwing in $14,000 to make it $1 million.
Now Trump says that, in theory, a man has to be fired. He asks the women to stay, and then asks the ladies how they'd feel if no men got fired given that they lost Jose this week. He says that they can say that they want a man to be fired, or they can be generous and say that those guys did a great job, too, and let's let them all stay. Marlee says she wishes she weren't put in this spot. Marlee says she has an idea, but wants to take 30 seconds to consult with her teammates. The ladies whisper, and Trump tells the guys their lives are in their hands. Marlee says that, with all due respect, her heart goes to Jose and she would do the same thing in his position. She says that in terms of the team, who she congratulates for doing so well, she wants him to fire someone because it's all business, just like their three firings in a row. Trump asks her to sit here and advise him which man should be fired.
Trump asks Rich who was the weakest player, and Rich says you'd have to rank it on fundraising, which Trump agrees with. The guys don't know who raised the least, so Hatch steps in and says it was clearly him. Trump asks if he should be fired, and Hatch says he hopes not. Rich says he doesn't buy that he doesn't have anyone who can donate. Trump asks the women who they'd fire. Star and Hope both say Hatch. Trump asks Rich who, outside of money, would he fire or could he do without. Rich says it was just about money. Rich says that focus is important going forward, so Busey is his weakest link going forward. Meat Loaf agrees. So do Mark and Lil Jon. Busey says he does what he's called to do 100 percent. Don says that he thinks that Busey thinks he's focused, because he'll go on for five minutes about his art, even though he's everywhere. Trump says Busey is solid, even though he pretends he's not. Busey agrees: "That's a subtle enjoyment of staying safe, secretive and mysterious. I can't figure out what acronym he's spelling out there: S-E-O-S-S-S-A-M. Buseyism!
Marlee says she knows Busey is brilliant and knows how to the play the game. She thinks they need to look at the bigger picture. She says he's passionate and will fight. Trump asks Marlee who she'd fire. She says she doesn't know, but she wouldn't fire Busey. She's surprised some of them didn't raise money, so she'd fire Hatch, no question. Trump asks Rich who he'd fire, since he initially said Hatch. Rich says Hatch if it's by money, and he still believes he could have raised money. Trump agrees, and fires Richard. Hatch says he was all prepared to defend himself, but didn't get a chance. He laughs. Busey and Marlee hug, and he thanks her for her support. Trump says the women played a strategic game, which Hatch should understand. "I made the right decision." I'm very surprised Trump agrees with himself, aren't you?
Taxicab confession. Hatch says working with Trump was amazing, but he thinks he made the wrong decision tonight. He feels if he'd been able to explain himself, he would have given Trump reasons to keep him. "But oh well. Life happens." When did Hatch get such a good attitude, anyway? Prison?
week: The men are FREAKIN' PIRATES. And they all want Busey fired. Meanwhile, Nene and La Toya go toe to toe. And Pinky pokes her head out of Star's bag once in awhile to take it all in.
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DeAnn, a writer and editor in Portland, Oregon, thinks a reality show without Hatch is less fun than one with him, but this show can't live without Busey. You can contact her at twopmodmars@gmail.com.