Previously: La Toya stumbled her way to a win, while the men pirated their way to a loss. Nene told La Toya off, calling her Casper the Ghost (ouch!) and saying she's gotten by on her last name alone. Trump wouldn't get over Mark offering himself up to go home, because Busey's better for ratings. Back in the suite post-firing, the men are hoping Busey doesn't come back in the door. Lil Jon says he might quit. But the ladies think he's coming back. And, of course, in comes Busey. The women scream and hug him up. The guys just stand around and pout. Nene thinks Busey's a hoot, and that he's torturing the guys. It seems to be the one thing she and La Toya can agree on. Busey tells his team he know she made some mistakes, which were pointed out to him, and he'd like to do better. He interviews he's not sure why there's an alliance here. So they must be afraid of him. John Rich tells Busey he thinks he's a saboteur, and that he's doing things on purpose to screw things up. He tells Busey someone as smart as him either has to be crazy or a saboteur. Busey alliterates, thanking Rich for that corrective, constructive communication and criticism. Then they toast and "good luck." Which means it's time for some "Money, money, money." Speaking of money, I'm going to put mine right now on a John Rich-Marlee Matlin final two (although Star Jones could obviously sneak in).
La Toya gets to present $40,000 to AIDS Project Los Angeles, which she's been involved in since her brother died because she wants to keep the charities that mattered to him going. She gets to give them the other check for $25,000 for having the winning cap, too. (I swear they said $20,000 two weeks ago, but I guess it ballooned with interest in the past two weeks.)
With the feel-good stuff out of the way, the teams line up in front of Trump Tower Grill so Trump can tell them how great it is, with its steaks and seafood. If you can't come to the Grill, though, he suggests you order from Omaha Steaks. Todd and Bruce Simon, cousins and co-owners of Omaha Steaks, are standing with Trump. The task: The teams will produce and star in a cooking demonstration, create three occasion-specific meals, and create and name a new variety pack. Todd and Bruce will judge them on brand messaging, original variety pack, and overall presentation. Ivanka says the cooking demonstrations will take place the day in front of a live audience at the Institute of Culinary Education. Don and Ivanka will be Trump's "advisers." I wonder what happened to "eyes and ears." Hope's the project manager, even though she doesn't cook and doesn't eat red meat. But, when Trump asks if she eats steak, she lies that she does because she's from Texas. Trump thinks that's good. Busey's going to lead the men. Trump says Busey's either a genius or a moron, but they haven't figured it out yet. Lil Jon says he's figured it out.
Busey interviews that he's sure some people see him and think, "Somewhere there's a village missing their idiot. But that's not true, because I have an internal wealth of knowledge. That will forever be unknown to them because I'm not going to let that cat out of the bag. A cat? You wanna see my impersonation of a cat. HISS!" No, really, that happened. Right after he tried to convince us he's not the village idiot.
Backbone. Busey's assigned Meat Loaf the job of chef, even though he can't cook. Lil Jon cooks a lot, and is pretty annoyed that Busey wouldn't ask him to be the cook. Bruce and Todd pay a visit. Rich asks them if they raise their own cattle, then Busey gets hung up on how they slaughter and which states they buy beef from. Rich gets them back on track and asks a question about how they preserve. Lil Jon asks what's more important to them after beef, and they say it's a good question, but Busey interrupts before they can answer. Busey interviews about how mysterious he is in his workings with the team. "They're unaware of the focus I have because I don't show them I have focus. That's part of my art. That's part of my mystery." Sounds like a saboteur to me.
ASAP. Star's taking over and bossing Hope around, not letting Hope get a word in. She tells her who she thinks should lead the cooking demonstrations. Hope's clearly annoyed, and Nene is, too. Bruce and Todd visit before Hope has been able to say a word. Star jumps in and asks them what their leanest cut is. They recommend a 3- to 4-pound portion of a lean filet. They tell the ladies that a customer can order everything from them: proteins, vegetables, and even dessert. Hope asks if they want a full meal in their variety pack, but the execs say that's up to the ladies.
Back at Backbone, they're figuring out what their three meals might be. Busey wants Rich to talk about having a meal with your father, and he'd like him to talk about giving his father a kite. Rich really hopes he forgets that later, since it doesn't make sense or have anything to do with Omaha. Back at ASAP, they figure out what to cook. Star will cook the healthy meal; Nene and La Toya will cook whatever they're left with. Marlee comes up with a variety pack idea: "poker night." Nene makes a joke that it should be six burgers, six steaks, six condoms. She cracks herself up, but Star doesn't even break a smile. Backbone. Rich says he believes Busey's a saboteur, but he's still going to bring his A game, since this is for charity.
Busey calls Omaha to order their steaks, and totally confuses the customer service guy. He gets off the phone and goes outside, and Rich apologizes for having Busey call that number; he was trying to help. Lil Jon asks how they're feeling, and Rich says that Busey hasn't addressed a timeline with them, which is the most important thing as a PM. They all say they're ready to help with whatever he wants, but they're not going to give him any ideas, because this is on him.
Meat Loaf tells Busey he'd like to go to the test kitchen to talk to the chef, and he'd like to take Lil Jon. Rich asks if they can all go, since he'd like to see it. Busey goes outside, and Rich tells Lil Jon and Meat Loaf they better not leave him here with Busey or he'll come over and yank on Lil Jon's dreadlocks. They all laugh as Busey watches from the balcony, with a puppy-dog face. ASAP arrives at their space to prepare for the day's presentation. Nene wants to change their meals from two steaks and a lobster; to a steak, a burger, and a lobster. They'll have La Toya cook the burger, and she thinks this is another way to try to take her out, since it will mean changing her whole menu. Nene's prepared for La Toya to tell Trump that they switched her burger at the last minute. La Toya tries to tell Hope she wouldn't have creamed spinach with a burger, but Hope says, "La Toya. It really isn't that serious." Uh, except that you could be fired if your team loses, Hope.
Backbone's in the test kitchen trying to name their variety pack. Busey keeps coming up with stuff that doesn't mean anything: "When the ocean meets the land." "Omaha multi-flavored steak packs." Meat Loaf tries to explain they don't have flavored steaks, so Busey clarifies that he'd like to just add some different flavored steaks. Meat Loaf says they can't do it, so Busey offers the same idea again. Meat Loaf asks Busey if he thinks Omaha will manufacture, for him, steaks with seasoning that they can ship anywhere in the world. The Jo(h)ns interview about working with Busey as project manager. Lil Jon says he's insane. Meat Loaf says he couldn't get through to Busey about the flavored steaks, which isn't Busey's fault; he just drifts. Meat Loaf wonders where the Jo(h)ns are. Busey says his teammates don't believe in him, but he knows who he is and he is focused or he couldn't act. Meat Loaf names the variety pack "The Ultimate Celebration Variety Pack." Busey likes it.
La Toya's chef is teaching her to cook, and she explains to us that she grew up with a personal chef, "and I still have one, of course. So I've never done a burger -- the flipping and that whole bit. But I have done an egg. Tee hee." Well, flipping an egg is harder than a burger, so she should have this locked in. Is it shocking to anyone else that a woman at that age has never flipped a burger? Oh, wait, it is also shocking to Nene, who's watching in awe and wondering if La Toya's for real. This is America, after all, and everyone should know how to cook a burger. I think that's on the citizenship test, in fact.
Meat Loaf's also learning how to cook, wishing someone would join him and help but no one does. Rich, Busey, and Lil Jon are all sitting at a table goofing off while Meat Loaf works. Meat Loaf is not even a little bit happy about it, especially since Lil Jon hasn't been given anything to do (perhaps part of the saboteur's strategy?). ASAP. Star says she created her team's brand messaging and menus as well as some Omaha Steaks aprons. She spends way too long holding an Omaha Steaks logo up in front of a chef's crotch to ask which way Hope wants to orient the logo on the apron. After a lot of giggling, she chooses sideways, which is odd.
Backbone. Ivanka shows up, and Meat Loaf tells her he doesn't know how to cook, but he's the cook. Lil Jon asks her to save him. Then she talks to Busey, who tells her that Meat Loaf won't look at him, and that the Jo(h)ns are both working on the menu. ASAP. Nene's going to cook the lobster meal, and Marlee's going to host that segment. Marlee says they're going to kick ass. Nene's about to go to the store, so everyone gives her a list of things to pick up. Star wants her to go pick up the aprons. Nene thinks it's unfair that they should have to run errands since Star doesn't do anything but graphics all day and they have to practice cooking. While they're gone, Don shows up to check in on them. Star tells her everything, because Hope can't even remember what the tagline is (which Star also came up with, of course). Don says Star's always the one to tell him what's up, which is fine, except if they lose she'll eventually be held accountable.
Backbone. Busey's decided the audience is going to eat all of the food Meat Loaf cooks. He asks Lil Jon to cut up paper (Lil Jon does it, but replies in his interview, "Really? Really? Come on, dawg.") Rich has been working on the menu with their graphic artist, so Busey walks up and interrupts to change it all up. Rich says respecting Busey as a leader has required a great exercise in patience from him. Rich reiterates that he thinks Busey's distracting on purpose so one of them gets fired instead of him. Busey approves the menu, because Rich wants to be sure Busey's the one who says it's fine.
ASAP's errand runners, Nene and Marlee, are out and about picking up aprons and labels so they can eventually go back to rehearse. While they're picking up labels, Hope calls and tells them there's a change in plans: They can't come back yet, but instead have to go to Madame Paulette's. Marlee's frustrated because they still haven't had a chance to rehearse. Is Hope ASAP's own quiet saboteur? If she is, she's more effective at it because no one would ever know.
Meat Loaf and Rich are in the van discussing Busey's weird idea to pull numbers out of a hat to come down and try Meat Loaf's food. Rich tells a story about Busey telling him to "Shut up, boy, and listen to me," off camera. He says he doesn't know how to talk to someone like that. Meat Loaf says that Busey will deny saying that, because that's his way: to do the craziest stuff when the cameras aren't rolling.
Morning of the presentation. ASAP shows up at the culinary institute. Star's making her meal healthy, with no butter. Nene and Marlee finally get to rehearse. Star has Hope taste her mango-chipotle salsa. Hope tells us they've decided not to cook their food during their presentation so they have more time to go over everything. La Toya's burgers start burning up to Nene and her lobster. Nene says La Toya's trying to do the Michael Jackson on her. Nene is insanely inappropriate. So why do I love her so much?!
Backbone. Meat Loaf's putting Rich to work helping him in the kitchen (which makes Rich feel useful). Lil Jon's helping Busey put tissue paper in a box to put together his variety pack. Lil Jon thinks a grown-ass man should be able to put paper in a box, but not Busey. ASAP. La Toya's rehearsing, and Hope keeps telling her to be louder. She interviews that if La Toya keeps baby-talking, someone's going to end up hitting her. Marlee and Nene start their hosting rehearsal, and Nene gets annoyed that they don't get more than four minutes because she has to wait for Marlee to sign and Jack to talk. Hope finds Nene to be frustrating, and says she's more nervous and stressed than anybody realizes. We don't get to see the final presentation, Star's.
Backbone. Meat Loaf says they're dead; he's never been so unprepared for anything in his life, so they won't have time to rehearse. He doesn't like to go unprepared. Meat Loaf realizes the menu's wrong, because it says crab legs as an appetizer, but they're the side. Plus, there's no lobster, but it's on the menu. Busey says John Rich did it, and Rich gets angry, saying Busey's not going to pin that on him. Busey says he's not, so Rich brings up that he has been rude to him for two days, plus he called him "boy." Busey asks him if he will accept his apology, and Rich says no, because he should have apologized when he did it, but instead he was totally unaware. Is there a chance in hell Busey's going to pull off a win here? He did last time, after all.
Presentation time. ASAP is up first. Hope says she has to win, to show Trump that her age doesn't matter. Hope and Marlee introduce their presentations, then Hope talks to La Toya about her food, which is already sitting out plated. La Toya projects her voice well, but I do wonder how standing there and talking is a "cooking demonstration," which was the given task, wasn't it? Although Meat Loaf's could be a total disaster. Hope thinks it was great that La Toya gave Omaha such a ringing endorsement, but she thinks she wasn't loud enough. They move on to Star, who projects great and presents her light, 4-ounce petite filet.
Then Marlee and Nene present the red-carpet meal: lobster tails from Omaha. The execs wish that the teams would say "Omaha Steaks" instead of just "Omaha." Nene thinks they did great, and if there was a failure, it was that Star and La Toya didn't cook, whereas Nene turned on her oven and cooked (plus, she cut her lobster tail). Their variety pack is pretty awesome, with shrimp, burgers, and even cheesecake. Hope thinks they did great, but is sure Busey will be tough to beat.
Backbone's turn. Meat Loaf is completely stressed and nervous. Rich says this is all about time management, and Lil Jon pep-talks Meat Loaf. Rich says Busey's put this team in a terrible position, but not to count him out because he can sometimes be brilliant. Meat Loaf introduces himself, and says he's named appropriately for Omaha Steaks. He does a great job talking, and he keeps saying "Omaha Steaks," which has to make the execs happy. He also actually demonstrates cooking. Busey's up , talking about the anniversary meal. It's indecipherable, all about telling your anniversary partner how much you love them, and it's all because of Omaha Steaks. He sends it back to chef Meat Loaf, who talks about the Father's Day meal and demonstrates how he cooks it. He sends it back to Busey, who talks about Father's Day and how nervous the kids are for their dad to try their meal. It's a heartwarming story about the dad crying and thanking his children. Then the kids present the dad with an Omaha Steaks kite, so everyone in the neighborhood can see it. Rich says he looked around at the puzzled faces and was like, "That's how I felt all day."
Meat Loaf cooks the steak, and the execs actually say, "The guy knows how to cook a steak." And "Yeah, Meat Loaf is really good." Busey presents their Celebration Pack and then gets the audience to chant, "Omaha Steaks!" Everyone's very excited to hear that three audience members get to come down and eat a meal. One of the drawn numbers was exec Bruce, who tells Meat Loaf the meal was perfect. Rich says he's seen Busey connect with people, so he'd never count the guy out.
Trump meets with the execs, and asks how the men's team did. They said they were enthusiastic, and Meat Loaf was awesome. They said the women's team was terrific and organized. They didn't like that the women didn't do live cooking, and that they didn't say "Steaks." On the men's team, they wondered why the Jo(h)ns didn't participate much. They thought Busey tended to drag out his narratives a bit. Trump asks who the winner is, and they say... Commercial, of course.
Boardroom. Trump sits down and asks Busey if he was a good project manager, and a real leader. Busey says he was, in a subtle way, because he gave Meat Loaf the task of being chef. Trump asks Meat Loaf how Busey was as project manager. Meat Loaf sighs and says he likes Busey, but he was frustrated with the entire project. He says taking on the task of being chef was an extraordinary feat for one person. Trump asks John Rich what he thought of Busey, and Rich says it was a catastrophic collapse of time management. Busey says time management does matter to him, so Trump asks why he's saying that. Busey says it's a point of view, so Meat Loaf and Lil Jon interrupt to say it's actually a fact.
Meat Loaf says he's never gone into a situation where he didn't rehearse, but there wasn't time to do that here. Trump asks if Busey's going to hurt their team going forward, even if they win tonight. Meat Loaf starts to stutter, so Don says that he can sense Meat Loaf's frustration in his stuttering because he's usually so precise. Meat Loaf says the menu is printed wrong. Ivanka points out two typos, and Meat Loaf says the menu is also wrong. Don says he was wondering what "key lim pie" is. Meat Loaf brings out his original written menu. And he says that if Rich hadn't helped this morning, there would have been no presentation.
Ivanka asks how Busey was as presenter. Meat Loaf says he wasn't sure if Busey was going to stop talking after the first one, but the Father's Day one was ... Trump cuts him off and asks Busey what he said about the Father's Day meal. Busey repeats the crazy story again, with the tear falling out of his eye and then the kite with "Omaha Steaks" written on it. The ladies, Don, and Ivanka are all stifling laughter, but Trump just sits there. Then Trump says he has no idea what Busey just said. Rich says this is the line of thinking of the entire task. Trump: "So it was very complicated?" Try stupid. Trump asks Lil Jon what he thought of Busey as project manager. Lil Jon says he likes Busey, but he's "not always here on Earth with us. He was orbiting outer space for the last two days." Lil Jon says he didn't get anything to do, other than cutting up paper and arranging tissue paper in a box.
Trump moves on to Hope. He literally makes a face like he's talking to a cute little baby and sweetly asks her how she did now that she was finally project manager. She says she thought she did a good job, and loved her team. Trump asks who was her weakest team member. She says they all did what she asked. He says she's slightly younger than everyone else. Star says she could be her mother. Trump says he's not going to say what he could be. Star says Hope was great, and she'd be proud to have her as a daughter. Nene says she was great, then downgrades that to good. Everyone teases Nene for not being able to pay a compliment. Marlee says Hope was spectacular.
Trump asks Busey what he thinks of the women's team. He admires them, he says. Trump says the women started out negative in the beginning and the men were solid, and as the weeks have gone by, that's shifted. Trump asks La Toya if she has a unified team, and she says this week they really came together. He asks if she's made some friends for life, and she says yes. He asks her who, and she says Star, Hope and Marlee would say "Hello" if she called. Don asks, "Nene, not so much, huh?" And Trump says that's interesting.
Trump asks Don for the pros and cons about the women's team. He says it was a great presentation, and they loved the logo on the label, Star's healthy meal, and the poker night theme. They didn't like being referred to as "Omaha" instead of "Omaha Steaks," and they would have liked meals to be cooked in front of them instead of pre-prepared.
Ivanka speaks about the men: They thought Meat Loaf did a great job, and could even be a spokesperson for them. They also liked that they cooked the meals in front of them, and they liked the themes of the meals. They didn't like that Busey's presentation went on so long, and they thought the variety pack tried to be too much and would be tough to sell. They also thought having audience members come up on stage was a little awkward.Trump says the execs liked both teams and had a really good time, but they thought the women were far better. Hope's charity, Best Buddies, will get $20,000, and Omaha Steaks will sell the meals and variety pack, giving another portion to the charity. Trump says he's surprised, because he thought they'd eat Hope alive, particularly Nene. Nene says she's very nice, actually, and that the quiet ones sometimes aren't. They go back to the suite, and the men stick around to get fired.
Back in the suite, Nene's not feeling like celebrating because she doesn't like having a label in the boardroom. She leaves the room, and Star says Nene doesn't like the perception that she's negative, because she's not. Hope agrees, so Star goes to talk to her and tell her she loves her. Back in the boardroom, Meat Loaf isn't surprised they lost because they were totally disorganized. He says it was the project manager's fault, because there should have been a rehearsal. He's really upset about this, because he's a professional entertainer. And, as a human being, he likes to be prepared for everything he does.
Trump points out that Lil Jon wasn't doing much, and was sort of sitting on his hands; he asks if that was the project manager's fault. Lil Jon says yes, it's Busey's fault, because he didn't even ask if they know how to cook, and he didn't make a schedule. The only thing he delegated was making Meat Loaf the chef. Trump asks Busey why he didn't utilize the talents of John Rich, who's been a big star on this show. Busey says he did. Trump asks Rich about it, and Rich says he had to exercise his patience all day, especially when he was called "boy." Trump can't believe that, and says the only way that could be a bigger problem is if he called Lil Jon that. Lil Jon agrees with a "Hell yeah." Busey says he said "C'boy," like you call a Dallas Cowboy. No one's ever heard of "c'boy," and Rich says he's lying, but even if he weren't lying, "c'boy" isn't okay either, because his name is John.
Trump asks Rich if he should fire Meat Loaf or Lil Jon. Rich gives him an emphatic no. Trump asks Busey who he should bring back to the boardroom. Busey thinks they all did a great job with what they were doing, even though they were frustrated with the time element. He says he doesn't have a feeling of firing anyone. Trump says Busey's messed up, but the other guys have to admit Busey's a good guy. Rich says "Absolutely." Trump says he likes that Busey's a different kind of guy, because you meet so many people who make you fall asleep over lunch that it's nice to have someone so different. The guys all nod, and Meat Loaf says they like it to a point, but when they want to win a task, it's difficult.
Ivanka says one of the things she observed when she was down there was that the team members were looking for opportunity to vent their frustration on their own. She noticed a lot of unease within the group, even from Busey. She says there was a sense he hadn't delegated, and the one case in which he had delegated, to Meat Loaf, it was efficient but not effective. Busey says, "That was in the case of cooking." Ivanka classily refrains from saying "Duh" and just offers, "Yeah."
Trump asks who came up with the variety package. Meat Loaf says Busey did it, but Busey says Lil Jon helped him and wanted to put as many steaks in it as possible. Meat Loaf puts his head in his hands, so Trump asks again about his frustration. Don says Meat Loaf's praised on every task, and Meat Loaf says he was praised on this one as well. Trump says he's going to make him very happy, and then fires Busey. The guys hang back in the boardroom and let Busey clear out first. Trump says that was pretty obvious, and Ivanka says it will be interesting to see how they do now. Don thinks they'll do great without that tension. Busey cheerily greets the driver downstairs.
Taxicab confession: Busey says he has great respect for Trump, and accepts his choice with kindness and understanding and grace. He says he departed in a happy mood, but the fact is that his teammates did not like him and were determined to get him off the team from the beginning no matter how good he did. "But that's okay. I can turn a thunderstorm in a tornado into a rainbow. And I'm flying over the rainbow tonight. Who knows? That could be true."
week: The men are rejoicing the firing of Busey. They're happy. But the women are not. Star's willing to cut people's heads off to win. La Toya and Nene don't like. But Nene's the only one who will snap at star. "That's how I roll." La Toya: "Cause that's how she rolls." Wait. Are they going to bond over mutual Star hatred? I think I'm going to enjoy this.
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DeAnn, a writer and editor in Portland, Oregon, thinks that should have happened last week, but now is better than later. You can contact her at twopmodmars@gmail.com.