First off, Trump advises us all to get our shit done, then there's a ridonkulous amount of filler re-introducing the contestants, including Blagojevich (who "took time away from his busy career," says Trump) talking about premature ejaculation. Ugh. Then we learn what happened last week: Cyndi Lauper warbled her way into many a Diner diner's heart, but it wasn't enough to win the task -- in part because Team Tenacity was a giant clusterfuck that didn't understand low prices = less money and also in part because The Donald himself effectively mock-blocked her biggest would-be donor, Rosie "The Pig" O'Donnell. Cyndi tells him as much, and Ol' Bird's Nest stays true to form, bullying the bejesus out of the least tenacious team members (Maria) until she finally screamed out "Carol!" just to make the pain stop. So, even though Carol really couldn't have known from her vantage point mid-task that she wasn't serving her team best, Trump fires her. Because getting rid of Cyndi would have been a crime against all things rad. So score one Bret Michaels and Team Diabeetus... ummm, I mean RockSolid.
We rejoin the guys in the champagne room as they debate over who they think will get the boot. The consensus is Carol, which is quickly confirmed when Cyndi comes in looking less-than-triumphant (more wrecked, honestly). Then begins a session of bus-throwing about who threw Carol under the bus. Meta! Sinbad discussed RockSolid's strategy that Cyndi is too nice to be a boss, so they knew the team would fold in on itself. Then Cyndi rambles a bit about how "money talks, bullshit walks -- can I say that on TV?" Awesome. Credits.
The day, Bret meets some kids that getting help from the American Diabetes Association. He shares his own story of being diagnosed at age six and invites them into the boardroom where one of the kids goes, "Bret, you're fired!" After that, he presents the 100 grand winnings to the kids and says it will help them go to a special camp.
Some time later, Trump, Don, Ivanka, and some suits reconvene with the team. Trump grills Cyndi about losing team, probing her about losing team morale. She says she doesn't feel bad because it had to happen, and she thinks her team is still strong. So do the men, granted they have more to base this feeling on. Trump introduces the suits: Jeff Hayzlett, Chief Marketing Officer of Kodak, and Leslie Dance, the brand's VP of Marketing. Jeff tasks them with creating a storefront "Kodak Moment" experience. They'll be judged on originality, messaging, and overall experience. RockSolid taps Sinbad to be this week's Project Manager. Tenacity wants Sharon, but she demurs because she's feeling ill, so the clutch position falls to Maria, who claims to enjoy working behind the scenes and wants to prove she's more than a gigantic rack, dubious singing voice, and even more dubious blood clot-esque hat.
This week's theme: Vision versus execution. Trump argues it doesn't matter how much vision you have if you can't pull it off. With that, he throws it to the teams to see who can back up their big ideas. While Tenacity brainstorms, Maria VOs that she's aware her teammates may be a bit apprehensive about her skills as a leader. Then she suggests they set their Moment in a wrestling ring, essentially validating those apprehensions. The others quickly hijack her idea and turn it into a red carpet experience, which is both more of a universal experience/fantasy and more directly related to photography. Over at RockSolid, the guys are a lot more subdued as Sinbad stutters for about five minutes about how customers at their store should "see some stuff happening." Michael Johnson is not impressed with Sinbad's communication skills. More babbling about Darryl eating ice cream (I wonder what flavor?!). The editors cut to a VO of Blagojevich politispeaking, only to be interrupted by a fan, then come back and ask, "You guys get that?" and fix his hair. They hate him already! Love it.
Michael suggested the guys get down to nuts and bolts, setting a schedule and task list. Even Bret realizes that Sinbad is "all over the place." Not good. Goldberg suggests they each draw from their own worlds to make a variety of individualized experiences that customers can choose from. Later in his interview, Sinbad straight-up claims it was his idea. The Kodak execs join the meeting to get the guys up to speed on the products and the message. Sinbad summarizes that they have to convey both how you capture a Moment and how you can share it with others.
The execs then schlep over to Tenacity, at which point Cyndi decides she must pee right that minute. Lazily and quite rudely, the teammates interrupt the execs to wait on Cyndi because they don't want to have to waste their time answering her questions later. Yeah, because your time is worth more than these people who own a multi-billion dollar enterprise. Mmmhmmm... They chit-chat for about 15 seconds before Hayzlett calls bullshit and tell them they can catch Cyndi up. Luckily, she walks in at that very moment and takes over the meeting, asking tedious questions about how to run a digital camera. Literally, she asks, "How do you erase on this thing?" Ha! Hayzlett gets things back on track, filling them in on the brand's philosophy of being a "digital shoebox." The power of the Moment lies in the stories that those Moments inspired and how they are shared.
The execs leave, and the women return to their brainstorming. Cyndi blurts out, "Share Kodak Moments. Celebrate the Champion in You." Quoth Holly: "That's kind of brilliant, Lauper." Man, I hope I have an opportunity to utter those same words at some point in my life. After that, they head to their storefront to figure out how to best use the space. Maria tries to explain her vision to the teammates but is constantly interrupted by scatterbrained Cyndi's outbursts and questions. Cyndi's overwhelming personality starts to, well, overwhelm the other ladies, so they send her off with Summer to get her out of their hair.
RockSolid. Bret and Michael have a between-the-lines conversation about Sinbad's less-than leadership skills. They all arrive at the storefront, where Bret tries to get some specific direction from Sinbad, but the ADD proves a formidable opponent. Even when Sinbad explicitly states that certain tasks need accomplishing, he refuses to delegate them to his teammates. Blagojevich VOs that he is part of "what Teddy Roosevelt called 'The Fellowship of the Doers'" [The internet seems unfamiliar with this particular fellowship -- Angel] and thusly decided to do something -- specifically, make a personal call to his lawyer and talk over his corruption investigation. Yet more awesome editorial choices, as they cut to an external shot in which you can see people full-on clowning at Blago in a window reflection. Further, they show footage of mugging and throwing thumbs up at the people outside as he VOs that he doesn't see himself as a celebrity, then actually leaves his team to glad hand with the gawkers outside. "You're a disgrace," says one passerby. Blago tries to shake hands with someone -- anyone! -- but is left hanging. Finally he finds solace in a fan, who spins quite the yarn about how she's named after him. But her name is Dana (pronounced "Donny" by her Albanian mother). Yep, she thinks he's Donny Osmond.
Tenacity. Holly and Maria are sugaring themselves up on Rocket Pops when Don comes to get the status update. Maria lays out their idea ("Finding the champion in everyone") for him, which incorporates both the red carpet experience outside and the wrestling ring inside, where customers can have their picture taken with the big, flashy belt on. There will also be some Make-A-Wish Foundation kids present, since that's Maria's charity of choice. An impressed Don reports that things seem a lot more organized this week. Implicit: Cyndi was a crap PM. He likes the concept and the prominence of the charity. [Also, the editors seemed to have way too much fun showing Maria sucking on that Rocket Pop. -- AC]
Meanwhile, Ivanka checks in with RockSolid. Sinbad actually explains the idea somewhat lucidly: Customers can have their picture taken at a booth with a specific celebrity (for example, Michael in a sprint position or Goldberg in the wrestling ring), and that will be their Moment. Ivanka wonders if the Kodak execs will find their run-of-the-mill concept too oriented to these specific celebrities' personalities and, therefore, not universal enough. Somewhere along the way, Sinbad (jokingly?) says Bret's not doing anything for the team. Bret laughs it off that he's a grunt, witness footage of him sweeping the floor. Ivanka doesn't think that Sinbad is utilizing Bret well.
Later, Bret asks Michael what he should be doing. Michael wonders why he isn't asking PM Sinbad but noting that Bret is growing frustrated with Sinbad's slapdash style. To his credit, Bret actually asks Sinbad to his face what he should do. When Sinbad once again natters on about "jumping in" and getting things done, Bret voices his frustration that he can't get a straight answer out of them like he could the task before with Curtis. Unfortunately, he seems to have taken it a little personally, and spends the hour or two moping and feeling left out. Sinbad thinks Bret is too sensitive and compares him to a girl who'll never believe you when you tell her she's pretty. He wraps up with, "It's like, 'Girl, please!'" Sinbad, meet Angelea; Angelea, Sinbad. Eventually, he breaks up a productive meeting between the others by outright telling Sinbad to give him something to do so he doesn't look like an asshole on camera. He is reaching his breaking point, so they send him off with Goldberg, then make fun of him behind his back.
After things cool down a bit, everyone gets down to business. They decide to take pictures of themselves out in the streets to represent that even celebrities can capture Kodak Moments. Stars, they're just like us! (Except Cyndi, who probably doesn't know which button to push.) Snap: Sinbad with some lady who found Brandy's clown weave in Tyra Banks' trash! Snap: Curtis dancing like Gene Kelly! Snap: Darryl Strawberry deep-throating a street hot dog! Snap: Goldberg body slamming Bret! Well, I wish. He just picked him up, but apparently it hurt Bret's balls. Hopefully it slows down his little swimmers for at least a couple of days. That man already has two kids, no more are necessary. The guys take a whole lot more wacky shots before heading back. Bret VOs that running around town taking stupid pictures probably wasn't the best use of their time, but he had fun. Curtis reiterates that they had a good time, but a lot of gray area remains concerning how they'll actually run the task tomorrow. What is this? American Idol? The point is not fun, guys. The point is to win. And Tenacity's no better. Methinks this week is going to be a real nail biter.
Speaking of Tenacity, we rejoin Cyndi and Summer as they carry the red carpets and velvet ropes into the event space -- but not without plenty of "I'm walkin' he-ah!" theatrics from native New Yorker Cyndi. She unrolls the carpet inside so the girls can take a group picture to demonstrate how they're all champions. Selita joins Summer and Cyndi on their van ride, as Cyndi natters on like your great-grandma Ethel. Selita watches forlornly as the storefront becomes but a dot in the horizon behind her, then later VOs that Cyndi is "a very special lady." Heh. Oh, but wait! They haven't gotten that far because Selita literally bolts from the car. When the teammates see her return with a panicked expression on her face and a blush in her cheeks, they guess right away that she made up an excuse to escape Cyndi's yammering. A bit later, Sharon finally excuses herself from the task after bouts of hacking up a lung and falling asleep at her desk. She promises to return in the morning. Maria worries they won't be able to pull it off if they're down two people.
RockSolid. En route from picking up props, Michael, Curtis, and Goldberg discuss their lack of team confidence that stems from Sinbad's loosey goosey management. They resolve to nudge Sinbad in the right direction when they return. And so they do, but Sinbad seems to think that if he has things all planned out in his head, then everyone else should automatically get them, too. What's more, he seems to have a fundamental difference of opinion from the others in what constitutes a game plan. They like details. He likes riffs.
Tenacity. Maria meets with a Make-A-Wish rep and a friggin' adorable little girl who is literally swallowed by the championship belt. But damn can that girl work a pose when the camera comes out. She pops her knee like a pro. I <3 Gabriella. Another boy, a 12-year-old named Alexander, hits close to home for Holly since she's the same age as her son. Selita, God bless her, asks Alexander what he wants to be when he grows up. Do you understand what the foundation does, Selita? It's a bit like asking an anorexic, "What's your favorite food?"
That night, Sinbad finally gives the RockSolid guys some specific tasks for the day, but doling out some specifics only reminds them that they have about a million unanswered questions. Seriously, they don't even know what cameras they're using and how they're going to print out the pictures. They throw questions out there willy nilly and don't answer them, then are all, "Great work, guys! Let's do this! Break!" Michael admits that he's crossing his fingers the girls will fail. Sorry to say it, Mike, but unless the ladies completely screw up the message or incorporate a masturbation metaphor into their Kodak Moments, then I think RockSolid's heading home for the night is tantamount to pulling the pin out of a grenade.
The morning, RockSolid makes a team decision to leave Bret behind at the hotel when he's late to the van yet again. Sinbad starts up a conversation about balloons because apparently Blago just can't get enough of them, then takes the chance to make fun of the Gov to his face about his balloon fixation. Meanwhile, the girls meet up with Sharon, who is markedly better, and set up their shop. Summer learns the tech while the others hang the blown-up prints of the digital pictures they took everywhere. The aesthetic is a little junior high Valentine's dance, but considering the shit show that is RockSolid, it probably won't work against them.
Bret finally shows up to the storefront, claiming that he may have been 10 minutes late, but "in rocker time" he was actually early. Bret continues to mope behind the scenes about being left behind because Sinbad has a grudge against him, even as he says out loud winning is the only important thing. On a lighter note, Blago is positively amped about the balloons, which are in the aptly titled hue of Goldenrod. He claims he's excited about them because goldenrod is Kodak's color, but you know that narcissist just loves anything with "Rod" in it. He scampers around bragging about his balloon, prompting Sinbad to deadpan, "The goldenrod is it, dude. I'm blown away." Heh.
Elsewhere, the ladies are likewise excited to get their goldenrod balloons. Holly VOs that Maria is in a tricky position. On the one hand, she was a strong, organized leader; on the other hand, the entire concept was hers, so she'll be the only one on the block (well, besides Cyndi it goes without saying) if they don't win.
RockSolid. Apparently Sinbad screwed up on ordering a couple of banners, and one of them didn't arrive. He calls the graphics guy, who says they "basically couldn't do" a banner-sized collage of all the Moments the guys spent hours snapping around the city the day before. Now they have a blank wall. Michael thinks the miscommunication stems from Sinbad's jokey style, which gives his teammates a tangible reason to blame Sinbad for their failure. The printer offers to do a smaller banner but warns them it might not come together in time. Curtis restates Sinbad is too relaxed as a leader.
Ten minutes before the task is set to start, Sinbad is sweating bullets because the banner hasn't shown up yet. Lucky for him, it arrives with five minutes to spare. All the guys finish setting up their station (Curtis cooks some food, Goldberg lifts some weights, Blago requests more goldenrod balloons), and Sinbad shoots off at the mouth about how the girls will have to pull off a miracle to beat them now. Whoa there, trigger. Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Tenacity opens up shop, too. Cyndi is the first port of call, taking red carpet pictures with customers. After that, the customers can take pictures wearing a championship belt in the wrestling ring. Then Summer tells them about the technology behind this miraculous thing called a Moment. , Sharon will serve them coughcakes... um, I mean cupcakes. Was it really a good idea to put the one person who is physically ill at the food station? Finally, the customers will get print-outs of their pictures. WWE star Mark Henry shows up to make some homophobic jokes, and plenty of people -- Holly included -- shoot sideways glances at Ol' TB Osbourne, food handler extraordinaire. Even Sharon herself laughs that she probably made some people sick that day.
Meanwhile at the carnival that is RockSolid's Kodak Moment-on-Crack, Sinbad acts as barker and Blago takes pictures (when not paying randoms to pose with him in pictures). In the end, the guys decided to save time by foregoing printing pictures entirely and talking up the web experience. Cut to shot of poor Kodak representatives standing idly by the unused printers. Sinbad seems blissfully unaware that asking customers to make any sort of effort to get free stuff is a plan that will most certainly backfire. He notes that they are expecting Secret Shoppers and plan to treat everyone well in order to address this uncontrollable element. And in walk the SS, who report that the store was poorly organized and, since RockSolid didn't print out their pictures or explain how to get them, they left empty-handed. Michael and Goldberg are shown referring people to the website, but I guess it's every man for himself.
At Tenacity's storefront, Holly is demonstrating how quick and easy (Sinbad!) it is to print the pictures for customers. But alas! The power goes out. Maria keeps the crowd's energy high until the power comes back up a minute later. Holly says goodbye to some customers, telling them to get a cupcake on the way out as Sharon is loudly hacking up a lung all over them. The power goes out again, and it sends things into chaos because the printer is spitting out pictures faster than the celebs can hand them out. The masses get out their torches at the thought of having to sort through all these pictures themselves. God forbid! Maria worries that the SS will arrive in the midst of this chaos, and it'll adversely affect them. And so it does. Cue another power outage. Commercials.
When we return, the power is back on, and Cyndi is singing "Girls Just Want To Have Fun" to keep the natives from getting restless. The crowd loves it. In fact, says one of them, "I'm having a Moment!" The execs arrive and immediately compliment the prominence of the Kodak signage. As Maria shows them around, the power drops again, and the bedlam just below the surface becomes apparent. Hayzlett says he doesn't know if everyone had a great experience on account of the line-up for picture print-outs, but he does praise how well the team showcased the product.
They make their way to RockSolid and also approve of the branding (and the balloons! Blago FTW!). They think the guys did a great job trading on their celebrity to create Moments. Even though Michael and Darryl explain the website push, the execs take issue with the fact that customers can't take any tangible product home with them. As the day wraps up, Curtis flips some pizza dough with fans, Goldberg holds up three women at a time, and Bret corrupts yet another generation of Americans. Curtis sums up that there are pros and cons to Sinbad's style. He's loose and relaxed, which can either be fun or hectic. He would have done everything different, he says, then hedges that that doesn't necessarily mean things would have gone better.
That evening, Trump meets the execs for feedback. RockSolid pros: Celebrity brings customers; cons: poor product placement and haphazard distribution of the cards that gave people access to Kodak's online gallery. Tenacity pros: Summer was a great brand ambassador; cons: none, apparently. So who won? Commercials.
Board room. Maria says her team worked well together and executed their vision (key words). Trump turns to Sharon, who agrees with Maria and admits that she was the weak link because illness forced her to miss a day of the task. Cyndi doesn't agree, but Trump cuts her off when he gets distracted by her colorfully dyed hair. Then she tells some story about one time when she was a hooker at Studio 54. Now I know that she's talking about playing a hooker in Roundabout's production of Threepenny Opera at Studio 54, but I'm not so sure how clear that might be to others in the boardroom. Or so the befuddled looks would suggest. [Actually, I thought she was comparing herself to the people who selected the folks who got to come in to Studio 54. -- AC]
Trump moves to the men. Sinbad singles out Goldberg and Darryl as the MVPs. Trump talks baseball with Darryl for a while before asking Michael if he thinks the team won again. Michael admits to the confusion at the start but says there's a chance they could win. Trump asks Blago what role he played, and Blago gives a typically non-specific answer. Trump asks Sinbad what Blago contributed, so Sinbad takes the opportunity to make fun of Blago's balloon fetish a little more. Trump asks Blago about Sinbad's leadership. Blago points to Sinbad's creativity. Ivanka segues that the creativity may have been an impediment to organization, witness the SS's difficulty figuring out how to access their Moments pictures. Sinbad claims everyone was told how to access the website, but Trump says that's not the impression the executives got.
Trump asks Don and Ivanka to show each team pictures from the other team's event. Maria quickly points out RockSolid's failure to place the product effectively. Don confirms that the execs noticed this shortcoming. Ivanka balances that criticism out by mentioning that the execs felt Tenacity's experience was less personalized. She says they did a better job integrating New York into the task.
Finally, the verdict: Tenacity wins, guaranteeing $20,000 for Make-A-Wish. The women go upstairs, where there are some more cupcakes for Sharon to contaminate as her teammates celebrate and watch the men battle it out.
Back in the boardroom, Blago says the men may have suffered from hubris (a concept he knows well) after winning the first task so handily. Michael says he can't point fingers until he knows why they lost. The women take offense that he doesn't admit they were better. Don and Trump both remind him that the pictures representing the Moments weren't easily accessible and that there was very little organization, both spatially and product-wise. Sinbad says, in hindsight, he would have spent more time considering how to present the product rather than creating the experiences. Ivanka tells him he failed to communicate something inside his head to the customers.
Trump asks Sinbad who was the weak link. Sinbad says Bret "lost a little bit of focus." Bret rolls his eyes, which Trump notices, so Bret explains that Sinbad wouldn't delegate. Sinbad launches into a rambling self-defense, which Trump cuts off at the phrase "bad cat." Apparently this means "good guy" in layman's terms. Trump asks for Michael's input. Michael admits that Sinbad wasn't the strongest leader but that he was proactive and was able to chip in just fine. Trump zeroes in on Michael's assertion that he wasn't being led. Michael says Sinbad was "loose." Ivanka asks Michael whether Bret or Sinbad was a better leader. Michael says Bret was a better leader but not a very good follower.
Trump turns to Curtis, who says Sinbad was an average leader because he didn't give clear direction. Michael agrees. Blago begins a long-winded oration about Sinbad's strengths and weaknesses, which is interrupted by Sharon wondering out loud if Blago's eyes are too close together. She says he looks like "a bit half-baked" and needs to be put back in the oven. Man, I hope this guy sticks around, just to see how the editors make him look bad week after week. Kick ass. We return to some more Blago rambling. Trump eventually curtails it by telling Blago to stop being so political and just say what he really thinks. Blago fudges that Sinbad could have been stronger in delegation.
Then to Goldberg, who says he's flabbergasted they lost. He thinks they underestimated the women, which diluted their message. Upstairs, the women continue to take offended that the men wouldn't expect them to win (even though they were short a team member and got their asses whooped last week) and retaliate with catty comments about penis size.
Trump tells Sinbad to pick two teammates to bring back into the boardroom. He brings back Bret, obviously, and Blago because he likes him a little less than everyone else. Trump picks up that Bret is the obvious target. Everyone heads out so Trump and his spawn can caucus. Trump tells the women to turn off their televisions, prompting them to speculate who will be fired. They think it'll probably be Bret, which Cyndi finds crazy. Out in the lobby, Bret and Sinbad calmly discuss that it'll definitely be one of them that goes. Blago sways back and forth, undoubtedly thinking about balloons. Ahhhhh, goldenrod.
Inside, Don says Sinbad didn't listen to the executives. Ivanka notes Sinbad's disorganization but thinks Bret's walkout was worse. Trump calls the fellows back. Bret immediately admits he's not surprised but hopes he gets another chance. He says Sinbad ended up doing a great job, but the first day was very "discombuberated." Quizzical looks from the Trumps. Blago, too, argues he (Blago) should stay then babbles for a bit about delegating and freelancing and what-not. Dizzied by locution, Trump asks Sinbad once again why he's put Blago on the chopping block. Sinbad repeats that everyone else was better. Don wonders why Blago didn't step up to be PM. Blago says he thought Sinbad was better suited to a creative task.
Trump finally gets down to the nitty gritty: The team failed because their product push wasn't consistent. Sinbad insists it was. Trump states matter-of-factly that it couldn't have been if the secret shoppers didn't get the cards. Don chalks it up to disorganization. Ivanka says the executives actually loved that the team pimped out the website, it was simply a failure of execution. Trump asks Blago who he'd fire. "Absent compelling facts where one of the players failed egregiously," prefaces Blagojevich... Sinbad.
Trump asks Bret why he walked away. Bret says he's self-aware enough to know that he would have blown up on Sinbad and could have cost valuable time by fracturing the team. Trump thinks he should have fought anyway, but he doesn't seem to realize that Bret had nothing to fight for. He just wanted to be told "Sweep the floor. Blow up balloons. Dance, monkey, dance!" Any of these would have done. It wasn't a matter of fighting for principal. Trump asks who Bret would fire. No-brainer: Sinbad.
Trumps turns the table, asking why Sinbad shouldn't be fired. He argues he's an asset because he's both a great leader and follower. Trump asks if Bret's manageable. Sinbad says yes. Well then why couldn't Sinbad manage Bret, wonders Trump. He doesn't even let Sinbad answer the questions before cocking up his pointer finger and declaring, "Sinbad, you're fired."
Sinbad seems more beaten-down than anything. Tired. He takes it easily and leaves with amicable guy-hugs to Blago and Bret. Ivanka says Sinbad couldn't talk his way out of getting fired. The Trumps agree it was a case of a bad thing happening to a good guy. Or a bad cat, as it were. Sinbad struts out, saying he had a good time but probably should have been a bit tougher in the boardroom.
Find out why Rod Blagojevich could end up as the show's true winner.