Previously, Dennis went crazy and no one really knew why. Then Brian McKnight wouldn't let him be part of the team, but they won anyway. The women were bad, and bitchy, and project manager Claudia was fired. The show's "previously" is much longer than mine, but I already wrote the recap, so I was tired of that episode a week ago.
New York City. Porn music. All of the safe people discuss what's happening in the boardroom. They're all comforting Joan, all "Poor Melissa," assuring her Melissa will be back. In walk Khloe and Melissa. Melissa tells everyone it was distressing how much Claudia attacked her character. Then she interviews that she hopes being in the boardroom was the kick in the pants the women need to keep winning. Brian McKnight is proud of his team, and hopes Dennis will join them, engage, and help them win some more. They do only have five people left, after all. "Money, money, money, muh-nay."
More New York, but now it's morning. Brian greets his charity founders Victor and Saundra Brooks. If you forgot, it's Youthville USA, which helps improve the lives of children in foster care. He gives them a check for $20,000, which they're very excited for. They call Brian "intelligent" and "competitive" and they thank him for remembering them. What sweet people. Totally what you'd expect from people who would found such a charity, right?
Trump greets the lined-up teams. He congratulates the guys, and asks the women if they regret anything. They don't. They think it will be more cohesive without her. He says Khloe's gone but will be back tomorrow, so the numbers are more even. He points out they're standing in front of Trump Hotel and Towers, because they'll be in charge of running a hotel. But not Trump's hotel (he doesn't say this, but it's surely because he wouldn't trust these fools to do that). He is standing with Jon, the CEO of Loews Hotels, and asks if anyone's ever heard of the Loews Regency. Dennis has. He's stayed there a lot. Jon says he'll be looking for customer service, good room service, cleaned-up rooms. Each team will take over five rooms, which will be rated by guests. Ivanka and Jon will be his eyes and ears. The project manager of the winning team will get $20,000 for their charity. He asks them to choose. It's Tionne and Dennis. Clint interviews that it was a chance for the team to show Dennis they're behind him. Okay, I like Clint again. Trump had a feeling it was going to be Dennis, but he tells him to do a good job -- not to play games with Trump. Annie comments on Dennis being project manager, even though it's not her concern. I still can't stand her.
For some reason, we get lots of close-ups of pigeons before we're inside the Athena van, where the women are discussing what they like. Joan, because she knows New York, is going to be the concierge.
In the KOTU van, Dennis explains his vision: Think about the best hotel you've ever stayed in in the world. And, actually, this might work for Dennis, because I bet he's stayed in more hotels than most. Clint interviews that he thinks Dennis stands a chance of being a better leader than a follower (well, he couldn't be worse, right?) Clint's not discounting the power of Dennis. Dennis says he wants drivers and bodyguards. Brian says fruit and cookies. Jesse says it's not about adding crap to the room; it's more about service. Dennis says "Catering -- that's it!" Then he interviews about how good he'll be at this. He assigns everyone a job: He puts himself in command, Clint's the check-in guy, Herschel's the food guy, Jesse's the bellman, Brian's concierge. Brian interviews that Dennis sort of delegates, but it's in his own language. He says they're going to do their best, though. Dennis says they're going to win this fucking task, and Clint asks if he can do it without the f-bombs. Dennis: "Honey, I'm very good at that [bleep]." Heh.
Athena is at the hotel now, learning how to make a bed. Because none of these women has made a bed before, I guess. They are also told how to clean the bed. KOTU's being trained to clean, too, and Brian says he hasn't made a bed in 30 years. Then he finds out they have to clean toilets, and says "Yuck!" Well, yeah, but most of us have to do that anyway. They are also trained on concierge: Talk about massages, pets, spa and more. Brande interviews that the 30 minutes they have for each training session are not enough. We get a fast-paced flash of all the types of training, which confused me, so I'm sure they were confused, too.
KOTU brain trust: Brian suggest having something for them when they check in, then have a gift basket in the room. Dennis suggests Carnegie Deli, and then calls them to order the stuff they need. Brian interviews that Dennis was doing a great job. Dennis gets two complimentary chauffer-driven Mercedes to take guests where they want to go. Herschel and Jesse start to clean the rooms, and Clint, Brian and Dennis head to Carnegie Deli. Then, all of a sudden, room service brings two vodka cranberries in, as dramatic music plays. Brian interviews that Dennis is totally different once he starts drinking. Wait... he's not always drunk?
Athena realizes how late it's getting, so they all get into the maid's uniforms to go clean the rooms. Brande interviews she's been in a French maid's outfit before, but it involved stockings and was shorter. She laughs that this one wasn't that sexy. The women find the rooms, which are disgusting. Melissa says the one she's in was "too disgusting," and it's not fair to make her do it. Natalie interviews that Khloe had to leave for a prior commitment, and it was tough not having her there. The women are all disgusted, and Brande picks up hairs, apparently one at a time, and then tells us that's the most disgusting part is hair, because "You don't know where it comes from." Well, if it's long, it's from their head, and if it's not, you don't touch it. Actually, on second, though, you don't touch it. You use a tissue or something to pick up a bunch of hairs at once, but who picks up one hair at a time and carries it to the trash? Only someone who's never cleaned before. Annie finds a stain on the carpet. She's in the disgusting room with Melissa. Annie's scrubbing the carpet, which makes me want to like her. Annie explains how hard getting a hotel room ready is, and then says she's leaving $100 in every hotel room she stays at, because this sucks.
Jesse and Herschel are cleaning the rooms, which is hard work and makes them sweat. Herschel says it would be nice to have more people help, but he and Jesse work well together. They scrub the bathroom and make the bed. Jesse comes out of the bathroom and tells Herschel he "de-pubed the toilet." He explains that when you check in to a nice hotel, "you want to think your pubes are the only ones that are going to hit the seat." He laughs. It's very cute.
Athena's still cleaning and trying to get amenities to the rooms, and Brande explains that it's down the wire. Tionne says that Natalie came through with nice gift baskets. She used her golf celebrity to come through for that. Joan likes the baskets so much, she says she's checking in. At KOTU, Brian tells Dennis to get dressed. Brian's trying to get the Carnegie Deli cookies in the gift baskets. Dennis asks Brian to tie his tie, then he takes the cookies Brian was working on and dumps them all back into the box. He says he's going to take them to the chef and ask him to make them look nice. Brian says Dennis just took everything and flushed it down the toilet, with five minutes until check-in time. Brian's totally at a loss.
Dennis runs into Joan in the hall, and offers her a cookie. She takes five of them, and puts them in a crystal bowl on her concierge desk. Joan interviews that she thought she wouldn't like Dennis, but she adores him. But he's a loose cannon. Dennis gets a vodka cranberry in the kitchen, and then asks the chef to put the cookies in a cool platter, with caviar, crackers, whatever's cool. The chef gets it, and says it will be about a half-hour. It's just one tiny box of cookies, though, so I don't get how it will go to all five rooms. Herschel and Jesse are still cleaning. Clint and Brian fret about the gift baskets not being there, that there's no bellman down there. Clint says if there's someone down there, they're sunk. We see a guy standing there waiting impatiently with his bags. Uh-oh.
Athena fields a couple of guest phone calls. Australian wife would like a booking at Morimoto. Joan will let her know. She interviews that she'd like being a concierge, because it's a challenge and it's different every time the phone rings. The guy who's having dinner for five in his room would like to go to a peep show. Joan tells him she has plenty of those connections. Then she starts calling people, trying to fill all the requests. She's basically calling in favors. She explains how great it is to have connections. She got the Morimoto reservation, the Gypsy tickets, and finds a couple of peep shows. She gets Stephen Baldwin his own table at the cabaret. She tells the camera she's a damned good concierge, then says that you'd think they'd tip her, but she hasn't made a penny.
Ivanka arrives for her check-in, and asks Dennis if he has more respect for his teammates now that he's leading them. He says, "I can lead. 'Do this. Do this. Do this." It ain't just about Dennis." She asks what he means, and he apologizes. She laughs, "I missed that one, Dennis." Ivanka interviews that she thinks he was drunk, and that he has a short attention span anyway. Brian answers another phone call, from the guy who ordered wine. He says they've been trying to find it, but the guy says it's on the menu. Brian interviews that they were overwhelmed, and he has the utmost respect for people who work in hotels.
Natalie's leading a guy and a bottle of wine to the guy who wants dinner for five. People keep arriving. Natalie interviews that she stays in hotels a lot, and actually wanted to see this side of it. She tells us about the many special requests this one group had: more bathrobes. There's confusion over what she says (someone think she said "bathroom") and she rolls her eyes. Which is why she should not be in customer service: She thinks she's better than these people. That's what I am loving about Joan. She's totally in the trenches, and damn good at all of it. Natalie dropped some silverware and left it in front of their room.
Herschel finally arrives at the room of the wine orderers, but with a bottle of champagne. They tease Herschel, but they're annoyed. He blames Clint and Brian, then goes into the hall and complains to Dennis. While Herschel calls Clint and Brian, Dennis sees that the Acacia chardonnay is on the other room service table, so Dennis delivers it. They give him a suit, to send it off and have it pressed. The guys drink wine, and laugh.
Brande's taking Bouvier, who is a seriously ugly dog, for a walk. She asks the dog if it's a boy or a girl, but it doesn't tell her, so she's all, "I don't know." She interviews how she knows how to treat people because she's stayed at nice hotels. She finds a patch of grass, and the dog pees. She laughs, "It's a girl!"
Vinny arrives back, and asks if they got him his plans. They weren't able to get him into Rao's, but they got him into Tao. He's cool with that. And he's happy to hear the cannolis and CD are in his room. He asks where Dennis is, and they look at each other blankly, and then say he had to step out. Vinny thanks them and asks Jesse to walk him to his room. Stephen's in, to complain about the $400 cover for the cabaret show, and the additional $142 in fees. Joan tells him that she wishes she could say he's wrong. She says she never thought to tell him how expensive it was. She interviews it was her fault, and then she tells Stephen that she will ask the hotel if she can get him a discount or have it comped.
Dennis is arriving back at the hotel. He greets everyone casually. But then he starts screaming and swearing in front of their guests who are headed to their show. Brian interviews that this is so ridiculous now that you can't even get mad at it. He says that, at some point, something went seriously wrong with Dennis. Brian asks Dennis about the cookies, and Dennis is all, "What cookies?" Then he takes off to get the cookies. But he gets a vodka cranberry first, as dramatic music plays. He walks through the kitchen and steals a whole carton of cookies. He delivers them to Jesse and Brian, saying, "You want some cookies? Here, cookies, out the ass." He actually repeats "out the ass" several times. Because he's Dennis, and he's completely insane. Brian tells Dennis he's doing a hell of a job, and Dennis says he's out of here, because the other guys are too fucking cool. He changes back into his T-shirt and sweats and says "Goodbye." Jesse interviews that working with Dennis went from being funny to being sad, because he thinks he has an alcohol problem. Um, yeah, I would agree with that. If you can't do a day's work without stopping for seven vodka cranberries, you might have a problem.
It's morning. KOTU's making breakfast in the kitchen. The women are taking orders for the complimentary breakfasts they're giving out. Khloe's back, and she's carrying a glass of orange juice. She explains she was away on a personal matter the first day, but she just sort of jumped in today. She says, "It's room service. How hard could it be?" Maybe she should say that to Natalie. Another guy orders breakfast from Joan, and a pedicure for his wife. She can do that at 9:30 in the room, which he's happy with. Jesse asks the women to keep it down, since they're trying to think, but he's joking. He says they expected a morning rush, but didn't get it. They think they kept their people so happy last night, they slept in. Or maybe they didn't offer complimentary breakfast and the women did? They joke about Athena's maid outfits, specifically visualizing Herschel in one.
Trump asks Dennis if he'd like to respond, and he asks how Trump would like him to respond to that. Trump says he could defend himself, he guesses. Dennis says he did the best job he could, and he's the one who assigned everyone their tasks. He also got the cars. He says he saw the women had champagne, and went and got that stuff for his team, too. Brian says Dennis had great ideas in the beginning. Trump asks if then it started to fade. Dennis says that everything these guys supposedly did, he actually did, but Trump asks if he disappeared. He says he got frustrated, and Trump asks if that means he walked out on his team. But Dennis says he did most of the other guys' jobs for the four hours.
Trump asks Jesse if Dennis did a good job, and Jesse says no, because of the drinking. He says it starts funny, gets wild, and then turns to mean. Jesse says he's seen him explode and get loud, and that doesn't go over well in a hotel atmosphere. Trump asks Herschel, and he agrees Dennis has a drinking problem. Trump asks Dennis if that's true, and Dennis says these guys are kind of blind and that a drinking problem has nothing to do with it. He changes the subject, and says, "You had a drinking problem when you were 14." Trump asks who he's pointing at, and Dennis says Jesse, but tells Trump to ask him. He does, and Jesse says he had a drinking problem, but stopped almost nine years ago. Trump congratulates him.
Dennis goes on that he's fighting against four guys here, and there's nothing he can do. Jesse says he has something to say: There are two of the greatest athletes in the history of American sports right here (pointing to Herschel and Jesse, in case someone thought he meant Clint or, I don't know, Natalie), and just look at the contrast. Jesse actually looks like he's going to cry. Trump asks if Jesse sees a big contrast, and how Herschel is. Jesse says that he's better than you would expect, even knowing everything about him. He's even more than you think he is. Jesse says he sees people's eyes light up when they see Dennis, and then they meet him and there's a little bit of disappointment. Jesse says he's sad for Dennis. Trump tells Dennis that's a big statement, but Dennis says there ain't no disappointment. Jesse says this isn't about the hotel or the task, but there's a larger issue at hand. Dennis asks if this is about his issue, or about this game. He says none of the guys have defended him since Day One. Jesse tells him he'll stick up for him, to help him work and do his job, but when it goes beyond the threshold of getting him to be a team player, he can only do much.
Ivanka interjects to tell Dennis that she heard the team rallying behind him, saying that initially he had things under control, which deteriorated over the course of the day. She says they aren't saying he's not a good leader, just that the drinking interfered. Jesse asks Dennis how many drinks he thinks Jesse took away from him when he set them down. Dennis won't answer, and wants to know if it's a quiz or something. Jesse says it was four, but Dennis thinks he's being cute, and says he'd say fifteen. Clint wants to address what Dennis said about them all being against them. He says he wanted to win this task to win, but also for Dennis, because he doesn't want him to leave, in spite of the disruptions, the eruptions toward Clint himself, and the dysfunction he can bring. Clint says that the team supported Dennis completely. Trump asks who Clint would fire if KOTU loses, and Clint says he doesn't think he'd have a choice. Dennis asks if he's such a bad part of everything he does, how did he win five NBA championships. Herschel says that's the past, adding that he won a lot of things too, but the question is what he's doing today. Dennis says that Phil Jackson said he was the best player ever. Again, Herschel points out: the past. This actually is really, really sad for Dennis Rodman, I think. And it seems like everyone in that room can feel it and is sad, too. Trump can't believe that Rodman would say he's better than Jordan, but Dennis says he was coached with no pain, no anguish, no troubles. Herschel again says that's the past, but Trump says "Champion is champion," adding that Dennis might have some difficulties now that he didn't have then.
Trump says he was totally enthused about Dennis, and wanted him to kick Joan's ass. Trump says this is an interesting case, supposing the women lose, what should Trump do? He says he's never done this before, but maybe he should fire Dennis. Since the episode's minutes are ticking away quickly, I'm thinking we're not going to have the women discuss enough for a firing, so it's going to be Dennis, I think. It's time to find out. On a possible score of 100, the men scored 86. Trump says that's very good. Using the same criteria, the women scored 91. Tionne's teary, and Trump says he loves her attitude. He asks what her charity is, and she says it's the Sickle Cell Disease Foundation of Georgia. Wow. That's a mouthful. Trump congratulates Tionne again, on being so great.
Trump says he'd normally send the women out, but in this case he doesn't think there's a need. He tells Dennis it was a rough time, and he thinks Dennis has had a rough time. He says he's given Dennis every single benefit of the doubt. Dennis says, "Absolutely." Trump says he likes him and respects him. He adds that he respects the "real" Dennis. (Unless, of course, alcoholic Dennis is the real one, and the NBA champ was a façade?) Trump asks if Dennis has anything to say. Dennis says yeah, that he always does. He says these guys are threatened by him. Trump says he doesn't think they're threatened -- that they like him when he's not drinking -- but go on. Dennis says that outside this show, he can kick anyone's ass at anything. Trump asks Jesse to respond. He says Dennis should try to kick their ass at being a good person. He says he used to drink, and he has walked in his shoes. He says the way Dennis acted last night -- that's not how Dennis would want people to see him. And he adds that Dennis is a person he really likes. Trump says that Clint can't love Dennis, but Clint says he understands him. He says he likes who Dennis really is, but not who he's trying to be. He says he's not for everyone, but he could be for a lot of people. Trump says he knows two Dennises also. He says the real Dennis is a solid guy, but this other Dennis -- because of alcohol -- is a different guy. Trump says he has great respect for him, but he disappeared and disappointed his team. He says he wanted Dennis to prove something, but he didn't prove it. He fires Dennis, who says "Absolutely." Everyone looks sad. Dennis says good luck as he leaves. Jesse and Annie walk out arm in arm. How is it possible that the boardroom decision that makes the most sense is also so damn sad? Am I really getting teary-eyed about Dennis Rodman's drinking problems? Um, no. I'm not, okay?
Ivanka tells Trump how tough it is to be brutal in this situation. Trump says it's a little tough, but it's more sad than anything. Joan interviews how horrible it is as we see her hugging Dennis goodbye. She says it was like an intervention, and to see Dennis Rodman defending himself, and defending that he was a great athlete, killed her. She's actually crying as she continues: "Absolutely killed me." At least she didn't say "Literally." She says he's a good guy deep down, but she doesn't know if he'll ever let that good guy come out. Dennis is hugging people goodbye, and telling them he'll see them down the road and not to worry about it. Clint tells him it's all love.
In the car, Dennis sits silent, but there's a voiceover of him interviewing that says he has no excuses for what happened, and that he has to take the bullet and go home and deal with this. He says he'll come back stronger. He says not to count Dennis out, that he'll be okay. Our regular credits are followed by a link to Alcoholics Anonymous.
week: Trump does something outrageous, almost causing a celebrity mutiny.
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DeAnn is a writer and editor in Portland, Oregon. You can contact her at twopmodmars@gmail.com.