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Oh my God, you guys, Tyra's phone has been hacked! But instead of finding some Olivia Munn level shit, we only get an email that outlines this season's makeovers. Er, I mean, this cycle's shakeovers. Yes, I said shakeovers. And they promise to be wacky! The girls head to the Sally Hershberger salon, and somewhere in the midst of describing what's happening Annaliese uses the word "freaky deaky," which makes her my instant favorite. There are some surprising-ish things. Laura gets a white-blonde bleach job, with red and blue clip-ins. Sophie goes cotton candy pink, and it actually looks pretty cute. Catherine goes magenta, and Alisha gets shaved on one side of her head and outfitted with a weave on the other. Just when you think that Azmarie is already bald and so this show can't think of anything to do to humiliate her, she gets "ANTM" shaved into the back of her head. In her spare time, she assists the stylists with her patented "shampoo of seduction," the perfect way to an aspiring model's heart and lady bits.
A couple of people are a little pain-in-the assy, per usual. Mariah gets very worried that her hair will be cut, and says that it would be like cutting her culture. This from the girl who was honored to wear a Pocahontas costume! Happily for her, she keeps the length and just get bangs, which makes her look oddly like a young Britney Spears. Poor Eboni gets a bad burn on her cheek from a curling iron. A similar thing happened to me in kindergarten and almost resulted in Child Protective Services paying a home visit -- see the recap for the full story! Louise is the worst of all, as she tries to resist both a Dutch boy cut and a darker color. In the end the stylists do just what they intended to, and she shows herself to be a complete prat. She thinks it look like Justin Bieber, which is not entirely untrue, but then somehow also thinks she's also the greatest. This one is a mental case, for sure.
Then there is a weird interlude in which the teams each have to eat a table full of food from the other team's country. Of course they pick the most disgusting stuff, like haggis for the British food and pig's feet for the American. Plus-sized Seymone uses her fiercely real powers to down a whole giant… loaf?... of haggis, to the disgust of everyone, even after Sophie tells her exactly what it's made of. Later, she feels sick and also mad that Candace makes a haggis joke at her expense. Candace was just telling a joke to make herself laugh!
This week's photo shoot has the girls posing as toddlers with ultimate mom-ager Kris Jenner (outfitted as a madame who has a part time job as a French maid) and the younger Kardashian-adjacent Jenner daughters (dressed as the twins from The Shining). Yes, you heard me right. Jay characterizes it as "The Kardashians meet the Addams Family," as if the Kardashians aren't creepy enough on their own. It is another week of group shots, and this time the Brits do better overall. It's American Laura, however, who gets the week's best photo for giving full-on broken down toddler from the crib. Seymone and Mariah land in the bottom two, and in the end Seymone must have built up some good karma from eating all that haggis because she stays.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously: US versus UK! It all started with a Universal City Walk showdown that involved some SERIOUS over the shoulder jacket tossing (DRAMA!), and ended with the showdown we never dreamed of nor wanted: John Lennon versus Pocahontas. Brit model Jasmia became the first casualty of The Revolutionary Bore: 2012. Thirteen transatlantic bitches remain!
The ladies return to their house to find Seymone's best-of-week photo digitally displayed. In celebration of her victory, and in turn the victory of her country, she gets a big silver box for the US contestants. Inside are ugly clothes. Who's the real winner here, one wonders? Eboni tells us that the US girls showed the UK girls that although the Brits might have more modeling experience, the Americans are ready to send them home on an eleven hour flight. That was the most labored smack talk I've ever seen. The Americans clearly have some work to do.
Meanwhile, the Brits regroup and Sophie expresses her strong opinion that they did way better in the last photo shoot. Sophie was in the fifth cycle of BNTM and came in second. Her American equivalent, then, is Nik Pace, who had that random secret butch girlfriend that she'd talk to on the phone. What was her name? I feel like it was literally something like "Stud," though that's probably not true. That was back when there was a one lesbian per cycle rule, and Kim Stolz locked that shit up. Do you think that the Brits had an equivalent to "Granola Gate"? Oh, the times we had! Anyway, Sophie. She really wants to break into the American market. Annaliese tells us that America's Top Model is like the holy land or Mecca... of the Top Model franchises. That didn't end quite as climactically as it began. In any case, the Brits refuse to roll over and lose all the time.
The Americans are concurrently in their room cooing over their ugly new clothes. Mariah reminds us that she's a proud, strong Native American woman, and that her people were done wrong by some long-ago Brits. Mariah says that if drama is brought to her and needs to be dealt with, she'll deal with it. Even though the smooshing together of those statements makes it seem like she's talking about genocide, I think she is referring to drama of the "Clean your shit or I'll write in your low-carb brownies" variety. Or at least I hope so.
And then there is Tyra Mail! It's a video hosted by Victoria Recano of ANTM TV. She has a newsflash! This just in: Tyra Banks's cell phone has been hacked! Confidential emails are flooding the web! Just when you think we might get some naughty half-naked photos of Tyra with dirty talk making rampant use of the phrase "booty tooch," Victoria reveals that the juiciest email has to do with the Cycle 19 makeovers. Escandalo! The girls jump up and down like they have been electrocuted. If only! Tyra is taking her inspiration straight from Europe, where funky cuts and colors are ruling the runway. The girls glimpse an email with words such as "cotton candy pink" and "half shaved head," and try to figure out who is getting what. Louise looks not particularly thrilled about this development, in keeping with her custom of not looking particularly thrilled about anything. Mariah is nervous, as she's always had long hair and her entire family has braids. If her hair is cut short, she says, it's like cutting her culture. The Party City Pocohontas costume, in contrast, was totally cool. In a bit that is particularly devoid of charm, Alisha pretends not to know what a Native American is, and then we cut to credits.
When we return, the girls head to the Sally Hershberger salon. Sophie tells us that she's ready to embrace a new look, and asserts the opinion that Tyra will only do things to make the models stronger. Maybe in Britain they don't give the crazy scraggly weaves? The Jays are at Sally's salon, and it is as part of their introduction that we first hear the term "Shakeovers." Sigh. I mean, theoretically it's better than Ty-overs, right? And at least Ms. Banks isn't shrieking in the corner while dressed like a princess or evil witch or something? But does it make anyone else want Shake 'N Bake chicken? Sally Hershberger herself makes an appearance and tells the girls that they're going to go beyond what they've ever done. Like get an $800 haircut for free! Sally has this curly hair that makes her look kind of soccer mom-ish. It's very disconcerting. And another thing! Is Shear Genius ever coming back on TV?
But I digress. Annaliese reminds us that the girls are getting Shakeovers rather than ordinary old makeovers, and says that they're talking fierce, fabulous, and freaky-deaky hair. "Freaky-deaky" is tied with "truculent" as my favorite word, so Annaliese gets 20,000 bonus Potes Points. We do see some freaky-deaky pink and purple hair dye being bandied about. Laura is first to learn that she's going to have red, blonde and blue hair. She's cool with that. Sophie is very excited that she's getting cotton candy pink, and thinks that it will be both editorial and commercially viable. Azmarie, of course, already has a shaved head. You think she'd be safe from anything too idiotic, right? But you underestimate Tyra Banks! Celebrity hair stylist Neeko bursts on the scene and proceeds to shave "ANTM" into the back of Azmarie's skull. How versatile! Azmarie's shave is done right quick, and so she gets to play salon assistant/seductress and shampoo some lovely lady heads. Mariah practically purrs when Azmarie shampoos her, then cops to the fact that Azmarie has made her bi-curious. Seriously, she should be a lesbian recruiter. She'd make millions on commission.
Then there's Louise. She's getting treatment from Sally herself, which you'd think would be a big deal. Her new hair is labeled as "beige blunt cut." What... exactly... is beige hair? Beige is a color for walls and old lady pantyhose. But putting this issue aside, Sally says that they're going to shorten Louise's hair and make it more modern. Louise sticks her finger in her mouth and starts to look panicked. She says that she's a full time model, and doesn't want her hair cut or dyed dark brown because it will take forever and her agency will be unhappy. Louise continues to stick her finger in her mouth and says, "That don't make no sense to me." Sally tells us that Louise needs to get a reality check. Also some anti-depressants, I'd say. Sally works with the best models in the world, and they never give her lip. Nor, probably, snarl, which is Louise's specialty. Louise complains that Sally didn't give her time enough to think about whether she wanted short hair. It is kind of cute how she thinks she has any say in the matter. Sally just lops it off as Louise pouts. Meanwhile, Seymone is perfectly happy with her boobage-length weave and also thinks Louise needs to shut it.
Elsewhere, Azmarie shampoos the now very blonde Laura, and the two flirt it up. If we don't get at least some shadowy fumbling and heavy breathing out of those two, everything I've ever believed about this show will be proven false. Annaliese is getting a crazy teased weave -- even crazier than she currently has. Catherine is going magenta, which will be of great help in doing the Time Warp. There's a Cover Girl plug in the midst of all this, in which we learn the tip that you should try to match your foundation to your chest. Don't actually put it ON your chest, though, unless you like having orange clothes. Alisha is getting shaved on one side of her head and a weave on the other, and the result is actually pretty cool. Ashley goes a bit lighter, Kyle goes quite a bit lighter and keeps her length, and Candace gets a long straight weave. Mariah gets bangs but still has length, much to her delight. The real revelation in this shakeover is that it makes Mariah look almost exactly like young Britney Spears. It's uncanny, and also not exactly a positive. Sophie says, "Maybe they gave her heavy bangs to hide her face a little bit." She's a cold-hearted snake, that one. I like it.
Meanwhile, Laura gets her red and blue clip-ins and overall looks pretty insane. That's mostly due to the very blonde base, though. It looks like if a strong wind blew through, her hair would just break off at the roots. Sophie really likes her cotton candy pink bob, which I quite enjoy as well. Her eyebrows are totally dyed out, too, so she looks like a really cute pretty girl alien. Oh, and then poor Eboni gets burned on the cheek with a curling iron! If that happened in real life, I think you could sue the salon for a hearty sum. Alisha explains that Eboni thinks she's going to get sent home for her burn before telling us, "I wish it was that easy to get bitches out of here." Truth. Poor Eboni, however, doesn't feel pretty at this point, and even asks the camera person not to film her. I don't think she's long for these parts.
Meanwhile, Jay explains to a still sullen Louise that they're going to darken her hair to the previously mentioned beige color. Louise apparently had dark hair on her season of BNTM, and says that she spent a year trying to go blonde and refuses to go darker. Jay says that they're trying to help her, but Louise isn't buying. She thinks she's been a very good sport about the haircut (HA!), especially since she wanted a weave. Jay tells Louise that the haircut has made her a knockout, but she tells us in no uncertain terms that she's not going darker. We cut to commercials as the battle of wills simmers like so much sizzling perm solution.
When we return, Sophie is still loving her life and does a little dance with Azmarie. In contrast, we cut to Louise who is still complaining. Kyle tells us that Louise has an attitude problem, and no one wants to talk to her because she's so bitchy. She definitely gives off a strong mean vibe, like her soul is made of umeboshi. I'm not sure how or why, but eventually Louise acquiesces and Sally puts in some lowlights. In an interview, Louise says that she has a little boy haircut and looks like Justin Bieber. While that's true if you squint a little, I'd actually call it straight-up Suze Orman. Louise then goes on to say that with her hair chopped she's the "most powerfulest one" there. That's because she now has the power to approve or deny her competitors' financial decisions. "I want to buy this booty tooching enhancer!" "Denied, girlfriend!"
Back at the house, the Brits once again discuss how they need to get it together and make this a real competition. Sophie says calmly, "We need to psych them out." A girl after my own heart! Am I the only one who enjoys Sophie? In any case, the Brits realize that a bunch of the Americans wound up having very similar makeovers. We cut to Sophie telling Eboni that the Americans have to work harder against each other, because they all have the same hair. If there were three girls with pink hair, for example, Sophie says she'd be worried. Alisha adds that Eboni, Kyle and Mariah all have long straight hair with bangs, and that she thinks one of those three bitches is leaving. Eboni's worried look is exacerbated by the GIANT BURN on her cheek. When she first started crying about the curling iron thing it may have seemed over the top, but then you see the baby-fist-shaped mark on her cheek and wonder if Bankable Productions is going to pay for her reconstructive surgery. But back to the issue at hand. I'd say this psych-out is merely a valid observation. The British bitches are totally right!
And then, it's time for what is perhaps the worst challenge to ever grace our screen. There are two tables set up - one for the US, and one for the UK. Each is covered in nasty food native to its respective country, and there is a note from Nigel saying the US girls have to eat the UK food and vice versa. Some of the food is actually pretty normal, like peanut butter or corn on the cob. Is there really no peanut butter in Britain? That is madness. But then there's, like, pickled pig's feet and I think a big block of Spam. On the British side, there are delicacies such as blood pudding and haggis and something called cockles. The worst part about all this is that it doesn't seem like there's even a prize, other than explosive diarrhea.
The challenge begins, and we are awash in gagging sounds. On the subject of pig's feet, Alisha tells us that you might as well chop off your own foot and eat it, given what pigs walk around in all day. Sophie says that US local food is disgusting, while eating an ear of corn. Okay that's madness because corn on the cob is delicious. Somebody show her how to slather butter and salt on that shit! Eboni feels similarly about the British food as she licks a giant glob of Marmite off of a plate. Aren't you supposed to put that on toast? Sophie describes a giant plate of meaty something that sort of looks like pulled pork but I think is something much more foul as smelling like, "A sweaty fat man who'd, like, done a poo." That should be the tag line for this season. Top Model British Invasion: Like a sweaty fat man who'd done a poo. Alisha tells us that the American team made plus-sized Seymone be a tank for them. Sophie is similarly incredulous as she describes how Seymone demolished almost a whole thing of haggis. Sophie tries to do her a good turn by trying to tell her exactly what's in haggis, and that people have died from eating it. Cut to Seymone with her cheeks full like a chipmunk. The Brits add that Ashley is from Scotland and even she doesn't eat it. Seymone just keeps cramming it down, albeit with tears in her eyes. That has to be, like, three pounds of haggis. Thanks in great part to Seymone's efforts, the Americans win this completely useless and prize-free challenge. Celebrate good times, and then purge.
Later, Seymone's own teammates start to bust on her for scarfing down such a vast quantity of nastiness, and laugh that she liked it on the low and didn't want to share. Seymone is not feeling so well, and doesn't find the whole thing very funny at all. Candace just laughs in her face. Eboni confirms for us that Candace was just making a joke to make herself laugh, because obviously nobody wanted to eat the haggis. That... does not make it better. The two women yell at each other for a while, and Candace says that Seymone can go ahead and be mad, and Seymone madly yells, "I'm not mad!" This is a buffet of typical Top Model fare. For her part, Sophie is delighted that the Americans are tearing each other apart, and even does a little evil laugh. As Seymone crouches in front of the toilet, we head to commercials.
When we return, there is Tyra Mail: "Tomorrow's concept will have you feeling like a kid again. Fierce and love, Tyra." Ashley thinks that this is a challenge involving kids, which is great news for her because some kids like her. A ringing endorsement from the kid community! The morning they head to Siren Studios where Jay Manuel greets them and says that because makeovers were difficult for some, he thought it would help them to meet the ultimate mom-ager. How fabulous would it have been if white Oprah Dina Lohan walked out? Instead, it is Kris Jenner, the woman responsible for unleashing the Kardashians out of her vagina and onto the world. This woman's fertile nature is the cause of the downfall of western civilization. Try and beat that! Kris reveals that today the girls will be posing as toddlers. It's one in a string of photo shoots over the years designed to embolden and empower young women, which have made Top Model the benchmark to which all modern feminism is compared. Kris will further ruin all the photos by being in them. Jay says that the vibe of the photos will be surreal, avant garde and a little sinister -- like the Kardashians meets The Addams Family. If you think you have to work to make the Kardashians creepier, then it's time to start worrying about your perspective.
The photographer for the day is Douglas Friedman, who appropriately has a child molester moustache. Catherine tells us she's nervous, because, "I've never had a photo shoot like a toddler before. Like, to be a baby, and be beautiful, and model-ly as well, not just acting like a baby, is really difficult." I mean, right. The girls get ready for the shoot, and then Jay and Kris meet them backstage. Kris is dressed like a sinister madame, which of course is a shout-out to her actual job. To further highlight this point, Kendall and Kylie Jenner (the Kardashian-adjacent sisters who are the daughters of Kris and Bruce "plastic surgery nightmare" Jenner -- and seriously if you want a creepy photo, just throw him in the background to the plastic clown) are going to be in the photos too, dressed like the twins from The Shining. The models act like they're really excited about it, which hopefully isn't actually true.
Once again, these are group shots. Annaliese and Seymone are together in the first photo, as Kris reads them a story. Sophie and Ashley confessionalize that Annaliese rocked it, and they're not being biased. However, they do like Seymone as a person. Ashley says this is because Seymone told her that she's her favorite Brit. So did a bunch of other people! Sophie is jealous. Jay tells us that Seymone looked beautiful, but there was a spark missing. Kyle and Mariah are . Mariah looks SO much like Britney in her creepy child's makeup! Her body position gets very awkward and Jay has to correct her a few times. Commentators Sophie and Ashley, the Statler and Waldorf of this shoot, think that both girls look the same with their matching haircuts, and also that Kyle's face is too long. In the end, the photo seems to work out, judging by Jay's comments. Alisha tells us that Mariah is beautiful but boring, and as a model you need to have some spice.
, we have Laura, Catherine, and Sophie. Kris tells them, "Here's the thing...you have to find your own space in this crib." Right. Important modeling advice that will come in handy many times in the future, I'm sure. Sophie seems confident that she and Catherine are going to take out Laura. Laura, however, gets to break out of the crib a little as she reaches for her baby bottle that she's dropped on the floor. Meanwhile, Kris Jenner stands there in her madame/French maid outfit looking smug. Candace and Eboni are , and Jay furthers the feminist discourse by telling one to be the good girl and the other to be the bad girl. What if they just wore "Virgin" and "Whore" onesies? Laura reminds us of Eboni's giant burn mark, then tells us that she doesn't really care because she doesn't care about Eboni. Someone's feeling the team spirit! Ashley and Sophie make fun of Candace's trout pout, which is legit criticism.
Ashley and Azmarie are , with coloring books. We are reminded that Ashley almost went home last week, and she says she's determined to do better today. Ashley adds that Azmarie is stiff competition, and a favorite, so she's not psyched to be in a photo with her. However, Azmarie is getting a little crazy-faced in the photo. Jay is surprised that she didn't do better. Finally, there's Louise and Alisha, who are fed baby food by Kris Jenner. Louise tells us that she didn't say a thing in the photo shoot, because she was so star struck and awed by having her hand on Kris Jenner's ass. Also, she had her mouth full of baby food. She should just walk around with baby food in her mouth all the time, and save everyone some grief. And that's a wrap!
Back at the house, there is International Tyra Mail of Doom. Someone is going home. Seymone thinks that people are underestimating her haggis-eating ass, and Mariah worries that the US girls didn't do as well overall in their photos this time. Later, the Brits sit by the pool and talk about how much they want the prize -- more, they think, than the Americans. Louise concocts a plan to tear the Americans down one by one, via some ruthless methods. Kris Jenner would approve!
After a break, it's panel time. Happily, this time there are no herpes-lipstick flags. There are prizes, there are judges. Kris Jenner is the guest judge, looking particularly reptilian. Azmarie and Ashley are up first for critique, and Ashley blathers on about how excited she was to work with Kris. Kris drinks it in, like the blood of baby bunnies she consumes nightly to keep her skin soft and supple. Kelly Cutrone tells Ashley that she really elevated herself in the photo, however she's disappointed in Azmarie. She wants Azmarie to use her inner and outer beauty and just be, rather than overdo. Nigel wants Azmarie to be naughty with her crayons in the shoot. Broken crayons = haute. Kyle and Mariah are . Tyra compliments Kris, while Kris says that she loves how Mariah morphed into a Kendall and Kylie-esque bundle of vapidity. That's her aesthetic, after all. Tyra thinks that Kyle is being too conscious, and is not enough of a baby model. She doesn't like Mariah's sexuality in the photo, and says that a creepy baby raised by a madame mother should express innocence, duh. Cutrone doesn't think it has anything to do with the objective of the photo shoot: to infantilize young women. She says that if Mariah were her client, she'd cost her a million dollar contract. In other words, it does not work.
Catherine, Laura and Sophie are . Their photo gets the biggest positive reaction from the judges. Nigel says that Sophie looks great in the face, but her body language could use some help. Kris loves Laura and her pose and her personality, and how she emulated a creepy baby. Cutrone loves Laura's hair, and wants to marry her off to a rock star named Kelly Cutrone. Tyra enjoys Catherine's elegance, but wants to see her exaggerate a bit more and stand out amongst her competitors. Candace and Eboni are . Nigel praises Eboni's eyes in the photo, and Tyra gives it up to Eboni for working through the literal burn on her cheek. Of course Tyra once had a massive burn on her eye for a very important photo shoot, and that was back before Photoshop existed, and so she had to pretend that it was a little tiny crusty eye hat. Crusty eye hats then became a trend worldwide! That is the power of Tyra Banks. Eboni's similar perseverance proves, Tyra says, that you can burn her but you can't break her. That should be the theme of Eboni's viral video hit. "You can spurn and shake and bake me / I might burn but you can't break me / Court's adjourned so don't mistake me / I might burn but you can't break me." That started as a joke, but I think what I did is just write a really good hook. Candance has great legs, but could have extended her torso more.
Then there is Seymone and Annaliese. Annaliese says that working with Kris was "fan-dabbey-dozey", and Nigel is reminded of why he left the UK in the first place and agreed to be Tyra Banks's indentured servant for 300 years. He cain't go back to England. He just cain't. Sadly for Annaliese and Seymone, their photo is not fan-dabbey-dozey in the slightest. Cutrone says that Annaliese looks like a cracked-out Diana Ross (perhaps that's what Milan on Drag Race was going for?), and Seymone can't afford to pose in a way where her energy slides off to the left. Tyra tells her that she can't just be pretty, and needs to work her angles.
Finally, there's Louise and Alisha. Louise has her fucking fingers in her mouth again, and it is driving me crazy. The judges overly praise her makeover, then ask if they can afford the mortgage on a new condo. DENIED, GIRLFRIENDS. Cutrone and I have our first bonding moment as she tells Louise to stop licking her fingers in front of the judges. What kind of weird psychotic tick is that, anyway? Kris praises both women's ability to eat baby food. Cutrone thinks that Louise looked amazing, but more like a hot-hottie than a baby. It's too sexy. Louise gets a stank look on her face. Stanker than her natural face-state, even. Nigel thinks that Alisha looks beautiful, but also not like a baby. NEWSFLASH, SHE'S 20. Alisha says that she was trying to look jealous that she wasn't getting baby food, but apparently that didn't come through.
The judges deliberate. Mariah has a spookiness in her face, but no attitude or personality. Except the too-sexy personality. Kyle looks okay, but stiff. Azmarie is a disappointment, and needs to get what her brand is, according to Cutrone. Les-baby? Tyra thinks she's turning herself into a commercial bore, and it almost looks like her tattoo sleeve was written on with a pen. Okay, what? That makes absolutely no sense. Ashley did a great job, and managed to not be sexual even while wielding a lollipop. Catherine is quirky and not classically pretty, in a good way. Cutrone thinks her magenta hair takes her out of her natural dowdiness. Laura's floppy doll pose was brilliant, and everyone loves it. Sophie's shot is the weakest of her photo cohorts, but she pops in person. Candace's shot has nothing to do with being a baby. Tyra thinks she's really beautiful up close, but is just a pretty girl from far away. Eboni, however, has a different and interesting face. Cutrone wants Eboni to lengthen her torso, surgically. Seymone has a beautiful face, but it's not enough. Annaliese has a shining personality, but she didn't know quite what to do on Kris's lap. Shouldn't we feel good about that? Louise has a dynamite face, but there's a lack of charm, to put it mildly. Cutrone says that if Tyra Banks tells you that you look like Linda Evangelista, you should get your damn fingers out of your mouth. Seconded, obviously. Alisha is misguided in her shot, and needs to exaggerate more. Kris says that she didn't know what to do with herself whatsoever. With that, the judges have made a decision.
Thirteen beautiful young ladies stand before Tyra, but she only has twelve photos in her hands. And those photos represent the girls who are still in the running towards becoming America's Top Model. The first name called, with corresponding best photo, is Laura. The runner-up is Ashley, followed by Eboni, Catherine, Candace, Kyle, Sophie, Annaliese, Louise, Alisha, and Azmarie. This leaves Americans Mariah and Seymone in the bottom two. Mariah's photo was nice, but it's not enough just to be a pretty girl - you have to have an extra-special something. Then there's Seymone. She's beautiful, and had the best photo last week, but the judges are scared that that was a fluke. Plus, she downed all that haggis and grossed everyone out. But Seymone's personality, such as it is, prevails. Mariah gets the boot. Tyra appreciates Mariah's beauty, and thinks that she has a personality down in there somewhere, but the judges don't feel that when she's in front of them. What will make Mariah go to the level of modeling is spice in the belly, and also a career as a Britney Spears impersonator. Mariah cries as she tells us that she's disappointed in herself, but also proud that she made it to the competition at all. She assures us that she does have a personality, and adds that being the first Native American supermodel is her dream. She will make it, one way or another. She's not a girl, not yet a woman, y'all.