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Well, everyone, it's season -- excuse me, cycle -- 18 of America's Top Model. It started so late this year that I thought maybe the whole thing was a nine-year long bad dream. But nay! Top Model is back, this time with kicky accents. Yes, this season Tyra has pitted seven American models versus seven British models, just because she enjoys the smell of bombs bursting in air. The Americans are all total newbies, but the Brits have been on seasons of Britain's Top Model. Do you think they call them "cycles" over there? I'm sure there's some sort of rhyming slang involved, and they're actually known as "dickie-dykels" or something of that nature.
The competition gets underway with the world's very first "Fierce Parade." It's an actual parade, with exactly two floats. I'm sure people camped out all night to get a good spot on the parade route. Then, the contestants face off in transatlantic pairs, first by reading each other and then by stomping down the runway. Smack talk abounds! Later, the girls head to their house and discover that the Brits will be in one room and Americans in another. A spotlight is shown on our remarkable cultural differences as the Brits want to talk and get to know people on their first night in the house, while the Americans want to skinnydip and get bi-curious. No one has a terrible disease that we've heard about yet, but Scottish Ashley does cop to having two little kids and an utter lack of self-confidence.
The week's photo shoot pairs one US and one UK model per photo, representing iconic figures from their respective countries. I instantly wondered which American girl would get the task of representing Angelea. (NEVER FORGET.) Sixty cameras shoot the girls as they bounce on little trampolines so that a 3-D image is created. The pairings display the nonsensical sensibility you've come to count on from America's Top Model. Queen Elizabeth goes against George Washington, who in a tremendous display of historical accuracy is wearing a gold mini-skirt. Janet Jackson is pitted against Spice Girl Mel B., things get au courant with Madonna versus Elton John, Margaret Thatcher takes on Michelle Obama, Andy Warhol goes against Amy Winehouse (WTF, I know), and Jacqueline Kennedy is pitted against Princess Di. And then, of course, we have Pocahontas versus John Lennon. Now you know some stylist was getting desperate and hit the clearance costume rack at Party City. To make matters worse, the only Native American model to ever appear on the show is cast as -- you guessed it -- Pocahontas. Later on the judges are all like, "She's NATIVE AMERICAN, she really could have done more with that." With her Pocahontas costume! Oh my God! At least no one was in blackface this time.
At panel, we get introduced to new judge Kelly Cutrone. I have to cop to still not really understanding who she is. Something about PR and The Hills. What I do know is that she is NOT Andre Leon Talley, and for that alone gets a rating of "D(reckitude) minus." Kelly Osbourne is the guest judge. All of the contestants have their lips painted as either US or UK flags, which from afar makes it appear as if there's been an outbreak of oral herpes in the model house. Hot. Plus-sized American Seymone gets best photo of the week for her portrayal of Michelle Obama, who is apparently a huge fan of the show. And by "the show" I mean this show! What do I have to do to nudge her in the direction of RuPaul's Drag Race? And then, although Tyra claims that her own nationality does not bias her in favor of the Americans, six of the eight contestants called are from the U.S. It must be noted that the Brits do seem to be more prone to emotional breakdowns, which could either skew amusing or annoying. In any case, Brits Jasmia, who made a terrible John Lennon, and Ashley, who made a terrible Princess Di, find themselves in the bottom two. Though all the early attention on Ashley made her seem like a goner, it is in fact Jasmia who must head back across the pond, hopefully not to Liverpool.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Hello, friends! If you're out there just going about your life and not feeling really old, I'd like to drop some information on you. Yes, good people, it's the 18th season (or, to be precise, cycle) of America's Top Model. How did we get here, you may ask? Does this mean that it would actually be better if that whole Mayan calendar thing turns out to be true? All good questions, I assure you. I just did some rough math and discovered that I have written approximately 1,350,000 words about America's Top Model through the years. Over a million words! About America's Top Model! That factoid made me envision a tiny hole in my head from which gray matter leaks out in the form of over a million words about America's Top Model. To look on the bright side: at least we're not Nigel Barker.
Anyway, Tyra has a Fierce Flash for us! (Yes, she really said "Fierce Flash.") This just in: the British are coming! The British are coming! If only Paul Revere could come back from the dead and guest judge. The British who are coming are NOT Revolutionary War redcoats. Rather, it's the same pretty-ish morons we always are treated to, but with kicky accents. That's right, everyone. This season Tyra has pitted seven aspiring models from across the U.S.A. against seven up and coming imports from the U.K. These Brits have competed on cycles of Britain's Top Model, though I'm guessing none of them were winners. It's not the Fourth of July, or....Boxing Day?...but Tyra promises that we will see fireworks. Welcome to America's Top Model: British Invasion.
We enter with an introduction to American AzMarie, 24 from Milwaukee. AzMarie tells us that her androgyny is one of her greatest assets, and that she can butch or femme it up, depending on what's required. And I'm here to tell you that either way, she's excessively hot. Then we meet Sophie, 21, from Oxford, England. She points out that the dictionary is also from her hometown. Sophie says that America's Top Model is her ticket to cracking the American market. I mean, look at how well it's worked out for Angelea! (Angelea: NEVER FORGET.) Sophie appears to be a leopard print enthusiast, which does not bode well. We then meet Kyle, 20, from Magnolia, Texas. She grew up in a small country town and can't believe that she is in Universal Studios, a place designed specifically to appeal to people like herself. Throw on a big pair of white sneakers and a couple of crying kids, and she's basically amongst her kind.
we meet Annaliese, 24, from London. Apologies in advance for all the misspellings of her name. She's a model and TV/radio personality, and tells that her personality makes her memorable. If you have to tell us that your personality makes you memorable, it's probably not a good sign. And now I interrupt this recap to deliver a Fierce Flash! This just in: I have dropped a chunk of Girl Scout Cookie down my shirt! And I can't find it! But when I DO, I'm going to eat it. Girl Scout Cookies are precious resources and even the tiniest bit can't be wasted. This concludes your Fierce Flash for this recap. Annaliese tells us that America is not ready for the British invasion. She adds, "We did it once! We can do it again." She DOES realize the outcome of the Revolutionary War, right? Or maybe that news never made it across the pond and they think we're still a colony?
The girls all gather together, and then are treated to a presentation involving Miss J., Nigel, and a marching band. I can't see a marching band without wanting to listen to "Tusk," which then inevitably leads to a Stevie Nicks YouTube binge, which is frankly a really great use of five hours. But I digress. We meet Mariah, 20, who is Native American and lives on a reservation in Pendleton, Oregon (and also, apparently, North Dakota). She should REALLY have a score to settle with these Brits, no? Mariah is the first Native American contestant to appear on the show. Only 28 minutes until they dress her as Pocahontas! Miss J. then announces the British versus American gimmick, which comes as a not particularly pleasant surprise to the ladies from the U.S. Nigel says that they're going to celebrate this "historic" moment by throwing the models a Fierce Parade. You know, a Fierce Parade. Like we do here in America, on occasions such as the Fierce of July, and St. Fiercetrick's Day. At the end of the Parade, there's going to be a motherfucking walk-off. An American crowd will be in attendance, which makes British Catherine, 21 and from the impossibly named towne of Folkestone, nervous. It's welcome news, however, to 20-year old Laura, from Scotia, New York, where they still apparently sell hair crimpers. Ponder that as we head to commercials. Meanwhile, now I have to confess that I still haven't found that cookie chunk, and buried my pain about it by eating ALL of the remaining Girl Scout Cookies! I regret it only because that means I have no more Girl Scout Cookies. Fierce Flash.
When we return, the models are getting ready for the Fierce Parade. AzMarie and Laura flirt. FYI, Laura's flirting technique involves saying, "And when I get drunk I take off my clothes." She's the subtle one. Laura tells us that she's a true bisexual, and also that she wants to jump AzMarie. At least the crimping hasn't fried her brain entirely. We continue the series, "Flirting Tips with Laura," which espouses the technique of telling the hot lesbian that women give you better orgasms. AzMarie (whose name I keep wanting to type as "Azriel") seems not entirely uninterested, but she's enough of a pro to know that she has her pick of this crew. That might include Ashley, 22, from Armadale, Scotland, if anyone could understand what she was saying. Ashley knows she's getting subtitled. The pronunciation barrier drops enough, however, for Ashley to impart the news that all of the Brits are veterans of past seasons of BNTM. Laura wonders how she, as a total novice, is supposed to compete against girls who have done this before. Eboni, 18 from Seattle, is more confident, however. She's put off college for the time being to take advantage of this opportunity, such as it is. Eboni is particularly gorgeous, and does seem like she could be a contender.
Fashion designer Oliver Tolentino outfits the ladies in 1776-inspired garb, as we learn that Ashley has two little kids. Because of the kids, she says, she hasn't had many modeling opportunities and she's hoping to learn more tips of the trade by being on ANTM. She wants her kids to have a stable life and be proud of her. No better way to achieve that than by appearing on a well-worn reality show overseas! we meet plus-sized (what happened to "fiercely real"?) Seymone, who is 19 from Augusta, Georgia. Seymone's parents have apparently had it with her fame-whoring ambitions, and so if this doesn't work out she's going to become a dental assistant. There's an assistant at my dentist who is exactly 106 years old, which I see as proof that it's a career with some longevity. Not to be ageist, but she pokes my gums A LOT. The American models start to do a "U.S.A.! U.S.A.!" chant/rap/song, which prompts Alisha, 20, from South London, to tell us that they need to turn it down a bit. She can't hear a bloody thing! It's like having footballers behind her! Soon she'll have to go to hospital! Where she'll have some chips! And by that she means fries! The Americans are as loud as they wanna be. That's how we do.
With that, it's time for the much-hyped Fierce Parade. The marching band is in attendance, along with some shirtless dudes. The Americans continue their loud strategy by screaming at fans from their float. They apparently get a good response from the crowd. By contrast, Sophie is standing at the head of the British float whimpering, "Tea and scones." No one knows what the eff she's talking about. I'm sure a British crowd would have gone wild at that, though. "Crumpets! Oliver Twist!" (screaming throngs go mad). The Jays and Nigel take the stage, and introduce Michael Buffer, voice of champions. Are we supposed to know who that is? Probably. Whoever Mr. Buffer is, I'm sure he doesn't deserve this fate. The Buffster introduces the British models, then the Americans. The Americans, who have home court advantage, have some built-in momentum here.
Then it's time for catwalk face-offs. The first pits crimp-headed American Laura against British Annelise. They try to read each other, quite unsuccessfully. These bitches need to watch Drag Race and study. Laura proves that she's trisexual as she attempts to engage the catwalk as a scissor sister. we have British Catherine versus Mariah. Nothing interesting happens there. Then there's American AzMarie versus 24-year old Londoner Jasmia, whom we have not yet met. Our patience is rewarded, however, as she tells us that she's a dating coach back in the U.K. Perhaps she can help Laura. Jasmia kind of clocks AzMarie with her jacket at the end of the catwalk, and gets some stinkeye in return. The violent rivalry has begun! Who KNOWS what madness might ensue ! We get a commercial break to cool down, thank God.
When we return, the fireworks continue with Scottish Ashley versus Candace. Ashley says, "Brrrrang it ouuuuuun, betches!" which garners a, "Bring it on, trick!" in response. Apparently, "trick" means prostitute, and Ashley is offended since she has two kids at home. She says, "How rude," just like a Scottish Stephanie Tanner. Candace is 22 and from Brooklyn, and has tried out for ANTM eight times. That's as impressive as it is depressing. we have British Alisha versus American Eboni. Alisha is 20 and from South London, and explains to us that English people have ghettos too, and she's from one. She got into modeling because it was a way out, and tells us that it's been her lifeline. we have Sophie versus Kyle. Kyle says she's going to take Sophie down, or more specifically, "Downtown to Dallas, Texas." That sounds both particularly non-threatening and non-erotic. They bump each other's butts at the end of the catwalk, which is exactly what happened at the Boston Tea Party. The two plus-sized girls, Louise and Seymone, are . They attempt to read each other, and Louise's admonishment for Seymone to "wind her neck in" goes unappreciated. Louise is 25 and from Essex. She tells us that she gets more work as a plus-sized model than she ever did being skinny. Louise also thinks that Seymone doesn't yet know how to work her curves. Once the runway face-offs have ended, the U.S. and U.K. camps talk backstage amongst themselves. Or, rather, the U.S. girls scream and shout as the U.K. girls mock them for it. Annaliese tells us that the Brits plan to pick off the Americans one by one, and then have some real competition with each other.
With the Fierce Parade over, the ladies head to their new house and discover that the girls from the U.S. are all bunking in one room, and the girls from the U.K. are in another. The Americans have very little closet space, and also are apparently quite horny. There may be a correlation between the two. Alisha tells us that she thought the first night in the house would involve chatting and getting to know each other verbally. Then there's Laura's take on the evening: "SKINNYDIPPING!" Alisha tells us that she wants to be America's Top Model, not America's Top Sex Bomb. I would watch the hell out of the latter, however.
The morning, there is Tyra Mail: "Prepare to clash cultures! Fierce and love, Tyra." How novel! A real twist! The ladies head to meet Jay Manuel in the studio, and he explains that the photo shoot will pair one girl from the U.K. and one from the U.S., with each representing an iconic figure from their respective countries. What's more, they won't be posing for a traditional photographer. This is a 3-D shoot, which involves 60 cameras shooting at the same time. They'll jump on trampolines and so will be frozen in the air in their photographs. They head to hair and makeup, and then the dueling continues. First we have Catherine and AzMarie posing as Queen Elizabeth and George Washington. AzMarie wears a gold mini-skirt and wields a telescope, just like George himself. Catherine thinks that AzMarie is strong competition, but wonders if not being able to be feminine will be her downfall. Well, in a powdered George Washington wig she does not yet have to be concerned about that.
, American Candace goes against Brit Annaliese as Janet Jackson versus Spice Girl Mel B. The whole thing is bland-ish, and Jay tells them that he doesn't feel the tension. Annaliese again reminds us that she's supposed to have a sparkling and memorable personality. Did you remember her? No, me neither. , we have U.S. Laura as Madonna, versus U.K. Alisha's Elton John. Alisha tells us that she was runner-up on her season of BNTM, and is thrilled to have this second chance. The odds seem stacked against her, however, as she is forced to wear really strange and shiny mint green pants along with a shiny purple button-down shirt. It is the least Elton John thing I've ever seen. Jay is not impressed with her performance, first telling her that she looks more "Thriller" than "Rocket Man," and then that she needs to bring her model to the table. Her jumps are so good, though! Laura, meanwhile, gets a 1984 Madonna wedding dress ensemble, and seemingly doesn't have to do much of anything at all. Jay complains that Alisha was giving him a spoof of Elton John rather than a fashion interpretation. Backstage, Alisha cries and cries, her bad wig askance on top of her pretty head. Laura thinks that Alisha needs to man up and grow up, and is actually mad that the others are consoling her. "Don't console this bitch!" It's a comment truly representative of the American Way. With that, we head to commercials.
When we return, it's time for the real showdown: Sophie's Margaret Thatcher versus Seymone's Michelle Obama. Sophie is weighed down by her self-described "dodgy wig" as well as her bright blue power suit, while Seymone looks young and fresh and Michelle Obama gorgeous. It all seems unfair, though maybe Britain should just try having more attractive icons amongst its population? Sophie tells us that Seymone didn't do so great, and in fact looked like a fly stuck in a windshield. up, we have the completely sensical pairing of Andy Warhol versus Amy Winehouse. Kyle is Andy Warhol, while Louise portrays Amy. Jay has to point out to Kyle that she's holding a camera in front of her face in all of her shots. Louise is strangely reserved. Her rationale for this is that she doesn't want to bring her energy up so her competitor feeds off of it. Apparently, Louise doesn't care about doing a good job, either. She is distinctly lifeless, whatever her strategery might be.
And then it's the moment we've all been waiting for! Native American Mariah gets to portray Pocahontas, complete with Party City clearance rack costume. What a marvelous tribute to her heritage. She doesn't seem to mind at all, though. When she has her first emotional moment, do you think there will be a "Trail of Tears" reference? And to round out this also completely sensical pairing, Jasmia portrays John Lennon. Don't ask me, I don't know. Jasmia tells us that she's done quite a lot of modeling in the U.K., but there's still much more to achieve. She adds that there's also a bit of a limitation for ethnic models in the U.K., and sees this as a great door-opening opportunity. I think she might be a little misguided on that front, and to get things cleared up all she has to do is look at Pocahontas to her.
Finally, Ashley's Princess Di goes up against Eboni's Jackie Kennedy. Ashley is a bit timid, according to Jay, and she herself tells us that she didn't know what she was doing on the shoot. Additionally, she's really bad at thinking on the spot. Ashley's British colleagues empathize with her plight. Jay tells Ashley to start thinking less Princess Di and more fashion, but her performance still lacks. Ashley cries as Jay tells her to engage and be herself. She's expecting to go home, because she thinks she was rubbish. With yet more English tears, the shoot comes to a close.
Back at the house, there is International Tyra Mail of Doom. Someone is going home. Jasmia is excited at the mere prospect of Tyra Banks knowing her name. Alisha is extremely determined, and hopes that the judges give her a chance to show her mettle. Ashley, meanwhile, heads into the phone booth to call her kids. She cries as she tells us how much she misses them, and when those little Scottish accents respond it's impossible not to feel the uncomfortable twitches of an emotion seep up through even my cold, dead heart. As Ashley tells us that she only wants the best for her children, we head to commercials.
When we return, it's panel time! The girls are clustered according to their respective nationalities, and wear both shirts and lips emblazoned with the flag of their country. The lips look so gross, like they've each gotten a bad case of oral herpes mixed with some sort of rare fungus. I think this whole British endeavor would have been much more successful if the show had Americans versus all of Downton Abbey. Featuring guest judge The Dowager Countess! And imagine the hijinx when Lady Edith and AzMarie hooked up. Legendary.
Prior to the judging, Tyra has a very important announcement to make. Just because she's American, she says, it doesn't mean that she will favor the American girls. Or maybe she will. Who really gives a care at this point? We now return to our regularly scheduled programming, which is also all about Tyra. The panel is introduced. There is Nigel, of course, for the millionth year. But then, in a big sad, there is no Andre Leon Talley, he of the legendary wizard's cloak and dreckitude. Instead, we get Kelly Cutrone, who is "a legendary fashion PR maven." Her little caption actually says, "PR Maven." Is that a job title? I have to cop to not really understanding who she is, even though I've heard the name around and know that she has something to do with reality TV. I'm sure I'll find out over the course of the few weeks. But I'm not sure how to judge a model now that there's no way of knowing whether ALT would hang her portrait in his salon. Kelly Osbourne is the guest judge.
There are prizes to be had: a spread in Vogue Italia and appearance on vogue.it; a correspondent gig on Extra; a single produced and released by CBS records; an opportunity to be the face of the Top Model fragrance, "Dream Come True"; a modeling contract with L.A. Models and New York Model Management; and a $100,000 contract with Cover Girl. When they talk about the fragrance prize we get a glimpse of D'Amato, which brings up some PTSD for me personally.
With that, the critique commences. Eboni and Ashley are up first, and Ashley wisely expresses her excitement to the panel. Kelly O. asks Eboni why she thinks she looks like Jackie Onassis in her picture. Eboni says that she was a fashion icon, which she portrayed through her body language. Kelly C. says that she likes Eboni's picture, but that it's more like a BCBG campaign, whereas Jackie Kennedy was like aristocracy (which she pronounces, "uh-RIS-to-cra-see"). Tyra says that Princess Di was famous for tilting her head down and looking to the left and right, neither of which Ashley did. Kelly O. also thinks that Ashley's masculine positioning threw everything off.
up are Laura and Alisha, as Madonna and Elton John. Tyra asks what the experience was like, and Laura offers up that she doesn't think she nailed it like she should have. Well, that was unwise. Kelly tells Laura that she prepared the judges to think the worst about her image, and what PR Mavens do is make people want things that they don't need. I'm sure her clients love hearing that. Meanwhile, Wikipedia tells me that Kelly Cutrone was once a tarot card reader. Maybe she promised Tyra a free reading if she could judge on the 18th cycle of America's Top Model? I'd say that's a fair trade. Anyway, Cutrone thinks that Laura's photo is great, but hopes she doesn't self-deprecate again. Meanwhile, poor Alisha! I could not imagine a more horrible photo of yourself to gaze upon. She looks like a crazy homeless androgyne from Mars. (Feel free to take that for your band name. You're welcome.) The whole thing was stacked against her with that wig, but this is also the scowlingest photo you could ever produce.
we have Catherine as Queen Elizabeth and AzMarie as George Washington. Catherine gets great feedback from Nigel, and Tyra thinks that AzMarie needs a bit more oomph. Because when you think of George Washington, you think of oomph. As a collective image, Cutrone is not particularly impressed with Mariah and Jasmia's version of Pocahontas versus John Lennon. How could you look at that and be anything but confused? Cutrone says that she's not sure, viewing the photo, how the characters go together. I would just like to say: this is not the fault of the models. She goes on to say that if she got the photo of Jasmia as John Lennon, she'd have no idea what to do with it. I mean, yes. But again, not Jasmia's fault! Kelly Osbourne says that it looks like some sort of Universal Studios tourist dress-up thing, which again, yes. And THEN Nigel tells Mariah that she had a very easy thing to do, being Native American and dressing up as Pocahontas. Embodying a stereotype: what could be simpler?!? It's unreal, truly. I'm surprised they didn't give her a necklace made of scalps.
up we have Kyle as Andy Warhol versus Louise playing Amy Winehouse. Cutrone gives Kyle kudos, but Nigel is not impressed by Louise's lack of angles. Tyra tells her that the more her body breaks, the more interesting and dynamic the shot will be. Candace and Annaliese are as Janet Jackson and Scary Spice. Nigel thinks that Annaliese has too much aggression and anger in her face, while Cutrone tells her that there's no face and no energy. Kelly Osbourne is more complimentary, and likes that the photo looks like a dance-off. Tyra doesn't see much Janet in Candace's portrayal, and says that she looks like she's riding a horse. Finally, there's Seymone and Sophie as Michelle Obama and Margaret Thatcher. Nigel loves the action and movement of Seymone's shot, even though there's some significant upskirt. Kelly Osbourne agrees, and says that the two models worked well together, and captured the various decades in which these women were (are) powerful. Tyra tells Sophie that her picture is Margaret Thatcher meets Judge Judy, but that it's fierce. It SOUNDS fierce. Can you imagine?
The judges deliberate. AzMarie is meant to be androgynous, but is ironically girly in her George Washington shot, according to Nigel. Cutrone isn't wowed by AzMarie or Catherine, though Kelly O. and Nigel think highly of Catherine's Queen Elizabeth photo. Laura's Madonna photo gets high Cutrone marks, but her downselling herself does not. Alisha's photo is just terrible, and Kelly O. sees "pissed-off Aladdin" rather than Elton John. Mariah's photo is very Halloween, according to Nigel, and Kelly O. agrees with his earlier statement that a Native American lady should do better at embodying a stereotype. The John Lennon photo is very unfortunate. Nigel can't count the ways in which it is weak. Seymone looked amazing in the Michelle Obama dress, according to Cutrone, and Tyra just loves her overall. Sophie is a blank canvas, according to Kelly O., which means you can turn her into anything. Kyle's Andy Warhol gets major praise, though there's some divisiveness about Louise. Tyra wonders if she has that "extra something" or is just pretty. Candace had very little energy on set, and Kelly O. compares her to a background singer. Annaliese has no spice, and she had the spiciest of all the Spice Girls to portray. Eboni has phenomenal bone structure, but she has cheesy legs and dead eyes in her picture. Nigel wants her to work her angles. And of course Ashley is a royal mess. With that, the judges have reached a decision.
The girls return, and Tyra is of course holding thirteen photos in her hands. She calls Seymone's name first, and drops the knowledge that Michelle Obama is a huge ANTM fan and is probably watching this right now with a very excited Malia and Sasha. Yes, I'm sure the Obama girls couldn't imagine a higher honor than for their mother to get a half-assed portrayal on America's Top Model. Kyle is called , followed by Kyle, Sophie, Laura, Catherine, Candace, Mariah, AzMarie, and Eboni. All the Americans have gotten a photo, and four Brits are left. Poor showing, U.K. Louise is called , followed by Alisha and Annaliese. This leaves Jasmia and Ashley in the bottom two.
Two beautiful ladies stand before Tyra, but she only has one photo in her hands. And that photo represents the girl who is still in the running towards becoming America's Top Model. Jasmia didn't embody a smidgen of John Lennon, and the judges didn't feel inspired by her photo at all. Ashley of course portrayed Princess Diana, and the judges wanted to see the lovely woman with the amazing eyes. Neither of their photos were iconic. So who stays in the competition? It's Ashley, for the sole reason that she had a personality in front of the panel. Jasmia is not excited to go home first, but sheds no tears initially. She tells us that she'll miss the challenge and the excitement, and is sad not to be able to finish her journey. And then the crying starts and Jasmia doesn't want to answer any more questions. She'll probably never be able to listen to the Beatles again without tearing up.