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Tonight, on the BEST EVER OF ALL TIME episode of America's Top Model, the remaining six models posed in a giant salad. I shit you not, friends. But wait, let me back up. The girls first learned that they were heading to Greece, the 716 of the U.N., to live out their final all-star days. Once there, they met up with Miss J. and Vicky Kaya, the host of Greece's Top Model and were told to prepare for a press conference at their final destination on the Island of Crete. Each contestant got an info packet with some Greek facts and phrases, and the ladies were instructed to prepare a minute's worth of remarks. Laura, who has enough trouble with her native language, was concerned. The mayor of Crete and some other various dignitaries actually showed up to the press conference, which maybe explains why Greece is currently in such dire straits. Angelea seemed to have the challenge victory on lock, until she used her newfound knowledge of the Greek language to ask where the bathroom was. So instead, the ever eloquent Allison took home the prize of a fancy Greek corset bracelet.
Jay paid a visit to the models to tell them that they'll be collaborating with designer Michael Cinco to create their final runway gowns, which will have an "immortal goddess" theme. You may remember Michael Cinco from the garbage dump shoot last season. He may also be Michael Jackson, embalmed. Dress ideas ranged from Angelea's "Greek Grace Jones" to Laura's "Goddess of Birthed Calves and Wheat." This is when we need to start lobbying for Laura to make the final two.
And then, it all happened. The girls learned that for their photo shoot they would be modeling underwear whilst in a GIANT GREEK SALAD. They were shot by famed photographer Nikos Papadopoulos, lesser known adoptive brother of Webster. People, there were so many carafes of olive oil poured on so many lady parts. Laura poured it on her face. HER FACE!!!!! Jay almost had my favorite quote when he told Dominique to work her salad, but then he trumped himself with this little gem: "It's okay to spread your legs, it won't look raunchy. I wouldn't put a block of cheese between your legs. It's not the most flattering." I mean, the whole thing is amazing. Can you imagine how these people must have smelled of feta for days? And then of course there's Shannon, who declined to participate in the shoot altogether because of her strong moral stance against posing in giant salad bowls. Way to stick up for what you believe in, lady!
Judging can really be summed up by this comment from Andre Leon Talley: "This could be Helen of Troy… in a Greek salad." Dominique's photo was the best of the week, while Laura and Shannon landed in the bottom two. And of course it was Shannon who went home. Tyra claimed it was because she hadn't ever had best photo or won a challenge, but really it was because she's an idiot.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!We enter on the bus, post-elimination. It's totally sunny outside, even though I always assumed those things happened at night. That's probably because of the heightened sense of drama, and also because it's dark when I watch them happen. But I know windowless hotel conference rooms well, and their distinct ability to make you feel like you've entered a sunless, air-controlled purgatory. Laura says, "And then there were six." This is actually helpful, because, speaking of purgatory, I always feel like this show doesn't have an end date. It does, and it's kind of soon! Merry Christmas, Potes. The girls congratulate Angelea for emerging phoenix-like from the bottom two yet again. Angelea is disappointed at her near-constant bottom positioning, because she's actually taking this shit seriously.
Angelea then graciously congratulates Allison, whose video was named the best last week. Allison, in an interview that's clearly from the beginning of the season given the giant rag atop her head to cover up her makeover hair, says that she's feeling great and confident. Even though she can't compete with loud, strong personalities, she knows that she's capable. "Capable," like "competent" and "proficient," really seem like non-compliments until you realize just how many people are unable to meet even the lowest standards. Speaking of proficient, Shannon points out that she's the only model to have gotten best photo exactly zero times. She confessionalizes that she's very focused on this competition, and that she's gotten thousands of emails from girls who say that she's their role model. Refusing to model in underwear is not just for her, you cynics. It's for the children.
The girls head out to lunch, and make a toast to such a beautiful day. Dominique reminds us that she has two adorable girls at home, and she misses them terribly. However, they're providing her with even more motivation and inspiration to keep going and subject herself to being a life-sized crouton. (Spoiler.) And then, in a very interesting interview, Angelea tells us that she wants to like Dominique, but Dominique is an actress. An actress playing the part of an excessively boring person, I may add. Angelea adds, "You're not a positive Patty all the time. You have issues too." Back at lunch, Dominique proposes saying grace, and Angelea gives her a touch of the stinkeye. She tells us that Dominqiue is fake, and is trying to be something that she's not. Angelea wonders if she'll crack and show the true Dominqiue. I certainly hope so, as it would at least justify her presence on this show. Seriously, can you believe she's still here? Final six! I thought she'd be one of the first three out who were cast just to get cut. Seeing her whip out some stank and/or emotional trauma would actually be a relief.
The girls return home, where Allison's video is playing on a loop. Lisa takes a sip of Haterade and interviews that even though Allison is unique, she's not everything that the judges are looking for in an all-star. It will not surprise you to learn that Lisa, herself, thinks that she has the whole package, and is ready for her career to skyrocket to a whole new level. "Career." I mean, her career is this video and Celebrity Rehab. Basically, a swift shove from behind would allow it to skyrocket.
We see a figure in a wizard's cloak knocking on the door. Yes, it is Andre Leon Talley, once again wearing his "just in from the rice fields" Chinese farmer hat. If this were Halloween he would definitely be racist. As it is just a normal day, I find it simply confusing. Andre says that he's there to give the girls some all-star treatment in an otherwise rough competition, and has brought them some dinner. He calls in his waiters, who are clearly unemployed actors. They do a little dance, then one bumps into the other and drops his stack of plates, and then they have a fake-argument and smash all their dishes to the floor. ALT proclaims it gauche behavior, but adds that there's a country in the world where gauche behavior is a tradition. It's Greece, where they're all headed! Confetti rains down, as well as a big banner, and then everyone smashes plates before thoughtfully discussing the debt crisis and its implications for international economics. Haha, just kidding, they throw more plates and dance around with people in togas.
Angelea is very excited, as she's a Greek mythology (or, as she calls it, "history") buff. Laura exclaims that she's never been overseas. Is that true? Even in her own season? And thanks, Wikipedia, for confirming that the ladies of Cycle 13 actually went to Hawaii for their destination episodes. Remember when the final six would go to Paris or someplace where actual modeling happens, as opposed to lovely vacation destinations? Anyway, Laura thinks she can win this fucker, because her personality makes her appear tall. Or something. The girls munch on hummus and grape leaves and olives, ALT tells them to get packing, and we head to the opening credits.
Post-credits, the girls scurry out of the house with their luggage, and take a little animated plane to Athens. The journey goes so much faster when you are part of an illustration! Once they've landed, the girls meet up with Miss J., who is wearing... I don't even know anymore. He introduces them to Vicky Kaya, host of Greece's Top Model, and tells the ladies that their travels aren't over yet. The Greek National Tourism Organization has prepared a press conference at their final destination -- the island of Crete. This means that they'll have to prepare a one-minute speech on their short flight. Vicky tells them that they must be fabulous. Should be pretty easy for an all-star, right? They're instructed to charm their hosts, and be larger than life. Lisa, who is basically wearing something out of a porn video (how do you travel in that?), is like, "I got this." The challenge winner will receive a gorgeous and very expensive piece of jewelry from a famous Greek jeweler. At this point even the famous Greek jewelers probably are just giving shit away. Sorry, Greece.
Miss J. hands out information packets, and tells the ladies that in their speeches they should include a little bit of information about themselves, wow the crowd with their knowledge of Greece, and try to incorporate something in Greek. Laura is nervous about this latter part, given that her grasp on her native language of English is tenuous at best. Despite the fact that it hasn't been a plotline yet this season, Laura is still dyslexic, after all. On the plane, the girls study their Greek terms, and Miss J. approaches Angelea to see if she's sprucing up her speech. She's actually looking out the window. She says she's going to speak from her mind and her heart, and doesn't want to be too contrived or come off as insincere. Plus, Greece is now basically the 716 of the European Union, so she'll feel right at home. As Angelea emphasizes how much she wants to win this challenge so it can launch her career interviewing celebrities, we head to commercials.
When we return, the girls have landed in Crete. Their press conference will be taking place on the runway, like they are the Obamas, in front of such dignitaries as Maria Kafetzaki, the President of the Regional Department of Tourism, and Dmitris Kounenakis, the Mayor of Agios Nikolaos, Crete. Wait until these folks see how America's Top Model will honor their culture in the photo shoot later on! I'm sure they'll be proud. It is VERY windy, which should at the very least provide some exciting upskirt shenanigans. Lisa emerges from the plane first, in her insane outfit. Her top is quasi-midriff baring, and studded all over, and she's wearing a stupid hat. This type of ensemble really doesn't work in your favor when you're naturally pretty busted. Lisa gives her greeting in Greek, then talks up her over the top personality. Out of all the Greek goddesses, she'd be Athena, and she's excited to eat Greek food. Lisa signs off in Greek, then shouts, "Whoo! Let's rock n' roll!" She gets a big buzzer on that one, but if she hadn't said something obnoxious and dumb it just wouldn't have been true to her brand.
Allison is , and Lisa says that she will probably try to memorize the most Greek words, which will make her speech dull to listen to. Shut up, Lisa. Indeed, Allison does start off with some Greek phrases, then talks about the things she wants to see during her stay. She adds, half in Greek, that she loves to paint and loves Mythology, particularly the muses and the fates. Both Jay and Vicky like her presentation, even though I must admit that it came off as a little rehearsed. Shannon is , and talks about her feel for life and how she believes that anything is possible. She adds that she wants her life to be an example that you can achieve your dreams even if you keep your standards high. Oh my God, no one in Greece wants to hear about your virginity, you twit! The crowd doesn't know when she finishes, because they weren't listening. Vicky tells us that Shannon's speech was very egocentric, and Jay adds that she should have been more relaxed.
Dominique is , and tosses in some Greek phrases while saying that following her dreams has given her the opportunity to travel to some fabulous places, such as Greece. A reporter asks if she has a favorite Greek dish, and Dominique replies that if you give her some tahini, she'll be happy. She seems to do all right, though Allison interviews that Dominique was a little nervous and seemed kind of goofy. She adds a, "Just saying," that's clearly cut from something else, but is amusing nonetheless. Laura is up , and tells us that this whole challenge is worse than a spelling test. When a spelling test is your nadir...I just don't even know. The wind really kicks up when Laura steps off the plane, and she has trouble wrangling her hair, scarf, and pre-written speech. Finally she gives up on anything she's prepared, and tells the crowd that she's just a small town country girl, and never dreamed that one day she'd be in Greece. She adds that this is the first time she's been out of the U.S., and she's so happy to see, "Y'all's loving face." She's enthusiastic and kind of adorable, even if her use of Greek phrases is suspect. A reporter asks her which Greek goddess she'd be, and Laura says she'd be Venus because there's so much love in her heart. A caption helpfully reminds us that Venus is Roman, while Aphrodite is the Greek equivalent. You can't win 'em all! Or, in Laura's case, any of 'em.
Finally, there's Angelea. She says hello in Greek, and tells the crowd how grateful she is to be there. On the plane, she says, she was looking out of the window and marveling at the country's majesty and beauty. A reporter asks her about the first thing she'd like to do in Greece, and Angelea says she'd like to see Mount Olympus. She gets points for actually knowing about a thing that exists in Greece. The standards, people, they are pretty low. And then just when it seems like Angelea has pulled off a Olympic-sized triumph, she asks the crowd where the bathroom is, because she has to go. Okay, first of all, she claims that the Greek word for bathroom is "banio," of which I am suspect. And second, I mean, she just shouldn't have said that. Angelea is the goddess of self-sabotage.
The girls are sent to their new home while Jay and Vicky deliberate. They're staying at the Blue Palace resort and spa, because no one even had the energy to try to find them a proper house. The place is gorgeous and right on the water, and, as always, I am jealous. Miss J. shows up to announce the challenge winner. He tells Dominique that she was fine, though anxious and nervous. Shannon was very excited, but her speech was the Shannon show. J. thought Allison was great, and didn't seem nervous at all. Laura was happy and gestured a whole bunch. Lisa was inappropriately dressed for meeting dignitaries. In response, Lisa interviews that politicians really like minimal clothes, if you watch the news. Okay, fine, touché. Angelea was fine until her fatal mistake -- asking where the bathroom was. And so the challenge winner is Allison. Jeweler Lina Fanouraki enters to give Allison a gold bracelet that looks like a corset. Angelea's response to this is, "Allison won by default, dammit, okay? Because if I would have never said that stuff about the bathroom, your girl would have won the challenge, and I would have been starting out in Greece really great like I had planned." Let's all make a deal that she can never get eliminated, okay? Thanks.
The morning, the girls lounge and have a lovely breakfast before being visited by Jay Manuel. He is oranger than ever, probably because of some sort of chemical reaction caused by the sun and salt water. He drops the news that the girls are all going to collaborate with a fabulous designer to create a gown for the final runway show. Said fabulous designer is Michael Cinco, who also created all the crazy gowns in Cycle 16's landfill shoot. This guy walks in, and we learn that basically the ladies are being dressed by a ghoul. A ghoul Michael Jackson impersonator, at that. The theme for the show will be "immortal goddess." That Michael Cinco was not available to create the looks for "Ghost Brides" is a tragedy from which we may never recover. Jay tells everyone that only two of them will be in the final runway show wearing their dresses, so the efforts of the others are all for naught.
Each model gets five minutes to share her vision with Michael. Angelea has an idea, girl. It's to make the dress very "Grace Jones meets Greek culture." I like it. Laura says that her goddess is the goddess of birth -- birth of calves and wheat. The goddess of chopped bull testicles, really. Allison requests something romantic, with a lot of flowers and lace. Lisa wants little strings of Christmas lights around her dress. This is the first time we hear Michael object, on the grounds that he doesn't like to make things that look tacky. We cut back to Allison, who I think falls asleep for a minute while Michael is sketching. Then there's Dominique, who wants some sort of sparkly metal object dangling over her crotch. Michael gives her a suspect look, but says nothing. Shannon wants something sexy but yet conservative, like a leather and lace chastity belt. Angelea's final directive is, "Just make it look good, boo." Michael assures her that he will call upon all his underlegions of the dead to help grant her request.
Later, we learn that Laura is not feeling so hot. Her head is pounding, and her whole body feels like it's going to fall apart. But, she says, you'll never hear a complaint from her because she feels so blessed to even be there. She does seem like a total trooper. The girls head to the beach, where they meet Jay Manuel. He is standing on a platform that also contains a large object. When I first saw it, I was like, "Is that a giant bowl?" I had NO IDEA what genius delights awaited us. Jay tells the ladies that one of the main things that Greece is known for is -- not the Parthenon, or being the cradle of western civilization, or the birthplace of the Olympics, or classic mythology -- but Greek salad. Greek. Salad. The show could have saved itself a whole bunch of money and just had the girls travel to a diner in Long Island. Jay continues that the girls will not only be shooting in Greek salad (!!!!) but will be modeling underwear. Well, that makes perfect sense. I mean, if you're going to get in a giant bowl of Greek salad. At the word "underwear," of course, Shannon's face falls. She tells Jay that she doesn't do kalamata olives. Or underwear, for that matter. As Shannon tells us that she's made her nonsensical position on modeling in underwear clear, and yet is being put in yet another position where she is expected to wear underwear (surprise! Who could have predicted THAT?), we head to commercials.
When we return, Shannon reiterates that she has a problem with posing in underwear in a salad bowl, or anywhere for that matter. Jay says, "We can talk about this," which is clearly a lie. I mean, all talking will consist of him trying to convince her to do it, while silently and correctly thinking that she's an idiot. Jay then introduces famed photographer Nikos Papadopoulos who, despite his impressive resume, is always outshone by his younger adoptive brother, Webster. Here he is, yet again trying to win George and Ma'am's approval by shooting models in a salad bowl. And all Webster has to do is be an adorable scamp! Nikos had no chance from the start.
The girls head back to hair and makeup and are given their lingerie, which several of them note is very bikini-like. Wardrobe stylist Georgina Wilson asks Shannon why she doesn't do underwear. She replies that she doesn't do underwear or cigarettes. Ew, could you imagine if they were asking these ladies to smoke in the salad bowl? Shannon interviews that she's married, and that she wants her husband and not the world to be the one to see her in lingerie. We cut to Georgina saying, "No offense, but it's easier to change the model than the prototype." Shannon just kind of looks at the ground. She has to know she's toast. It should be noted that the underwear do seem by and large to be more modest than the swimwear she's sported earlier in the season. Not that you, dear readers, need extra convincing that Shannon is an moron, but I just thought it was worth mentioning.
Buckets of tomatoes and cucumbers and the like are poured into the salad bowl, and Dominique is the first to enter. Jay says, "Now Dominique, remember you're gonna ... work... your... salad." This is the precise moment when this became my favorite Top Model episode in years. People: the models are posing in a giant bowl of salad. In underwear! I don't think anything more genius has happened in a generation. Dominique gets all sexual looking in the bowl, which is especially weird if you pretend it's a salad bowl of a regular size. Could you imagine if you got your salad course at a restaurant and there was a scantily clad lady wriggling about in it? Would you send it back or no? Just when you think things couldn't get any better, Dominique procures a carafe of olive oil and proceeds to pour it all over herself. Jay tells us that the masculine vibe that Dominique used to have is no longer there. She's found a way to harness it. Also, I think that having two kids would smooth out some of those manly edges. Jay tells Dominique that she was amazing.
Jay then takes a moment to talk to Shannon. He reminds her that this is a huge opportunity, and he'd hate to see her miss out on it. Shannon assures him that she wants to win the competition badly. Jay notes that they made a concerted effort to choose an underwear set for her that looks like a swimsuit. She tells him that it has white piping, which means it actually looks like underwear. Jay is sick of Shannon and her semantic nonsense, while Angelea is just hoping that the bitch leaves and makes it easier for everyone else. Jay asks Shannon to help him understand her message, and she spouts several nonsense words ending in, "It's just kind of... different." She's not doing the shoot. Shannon says that it's important for you to stand up for what you believe in, because eventually you'll earn the respect of others. Everyone out there who respects Shannon for her stance on kalamata olives, raise your hand. Right.
Angelea is , and says she's down. She's ready to work... her... salad. Jay prefers Angelea laying down, and says that she doesn't have the same poise sitting up. He adds that her core strength is weak, which I think means that she has an itty bitty muffin top and also can't properly hold herself upright. She finally hits a good pose and grabs the oil carafe. That's always the magic key, isn't it? Angelea is sure that she did a good job, and Jay offers a few words as she relaxes to a giant block of feta. Can you imagine how these bitches smelled after this? Like so much feet. Meanwhile, Laura is laying down on the floor of the hair and makeup tent because she's very, very sick. As Dominique sympathizes but says that anything could send you home at this point, we head to commercials.
When we return, Jay instructs Allison to maintain the fluid, sexy movement of her video that made Game fall so in love with her. I imagine nothing is more appealing to him than a woman in a giant salad, so a ring should be forthcoming. Allison notes that the sun is a bit challenging for her eyes. It turns out that Allison has self-proclaimed "vampire vision" and can't even open her eyes in the bright, bright, sun. When she tries, there are tears. I guess it makes sense, as there is so much surface area there. Allison describes the feeling of entering the bowl as stepping into someone's organs. I mean, why not. Allison tries to get her positioning, and Jay recommends not putting a block of feta in between her legs. Yes, this actually happened. Nikos likes Allison's pale skin and blue eyes, and says that you can be more creative with this kind of girl. His maybe-racism clearly stems from childhood resentments against you-know-who. It's hard when your black adoptive brother gets his own theme song, and nobody even talks about you anymore. Jay encourages Allison to stay present, while from the sidelines Shannon laughs at the fact that everyone else is literally in a salad. In any case, despite Nikos's preferences, Allison assures us that she was horrible.
Lisa is on set, and tells us it's important for her to show how "well" she is at being a model in a simple manner. You know, no splits. Lisa lounges in the salad bowl and lazily pours olive oil on her thighs and stomach. There seems to be a giant turd in the salad bowl, or possibly it's a crouton. With Lisa in there, things could go either way. She rubs the oil all over her stomach and is gross a whole bunch. Shannon finally is nervous that she might go home. Oh, ya think?
Laura is , and is nervous that because she feels so terrible she won't be able to give her all. And, to quote the famous Joe Reid, poor Laura's chin does not need to be sitting in a bowl full of oil. Nikos tries to direct Laura, and she reminds us that even though Shannon won't do the shoot, her staying true to her brand might win favor with the often nonsensical judges. So there are no guarantees. Laura makes the most ill-advised move yet and pours olive oil ALL OVER HER FACE. Jay tells us that Laura looked like a sexy little girl, which doesn't really work with a big bowl of salad or her brand. And then the shoot is over. No! I never want it to end!
Back at the house, there is Tyra Mail of Doom. Someone is going home. Allison stresses about her performance, and says that though she thinks she got a couple of good shots she's nervous about what will actually be chosen to show. Laura is also worried, given her illness. Shannon, meanwhile, prepares for what she's going to tell the judges, especially given that they weren't shooting thongs or anything that might justify her position. She tells us that she took a stand today, and stayed true to her brand. She hopes the judges see that she has great potential, but adds that you never know. We know. Sorry, dude.
With that, it's panel time! Tyra is wearing business casual attire, while Andre is wearing a red shirt-cloak. There are prizes, there are judges. Nikos is the guest judge. Allison is up first, and although her eyes are indeed closed, Nigel tells her that her photo is still beautiful. However, given that her eyes are her signature, she needs to work on, you know, opening them in all sorts of lighting. Allison explains about her vampire eyes, and Nikos says it was a problem because he really wanted to capture their color. However, he still likes Allison a bunch and thinks that she can give interesting pictures. Angelea is , and acknowledges that it was pretty awkward sitting in a giant bowl of salad. Her picture is improbably hot. ALT likes it, and asks if the wardrobe is underwear or a bikini. Tyra explains that it's underwear that looks like swimwear, and we cut to a worried Shannon. Nikos is happy that Angelea got this photo, because generally it was awkward shooting with her. Tyra notes that everyone was feeling awkward, which is not good. Still, Angelea was modeling from H to T. We then get a clear shot of exactly how soupy and wilty that bowl of salad was by the end of the day. Angelea gets triple points for looking so fly in a bowl of rotting stuff.
Lisa is up , and Nigel says that her photo is beautiful and strong, and that her body looks great. Nikos liked shooting Lisa, but says that sometimes it felt like there was a computer in her brain that was programming her posing. Tyra tells her that sometimes models just go from pose to pose, with no sense of flow and feeling it. That might be fine for swimwear, but not underwear that looks like swimwear, when modeled in a salad. Shannon is , and even before she says a word Nigel can't hide his disdain. Tyra asks Shannon to talk about her experience on the photo shoot, and she explains that several years ago she decided that she would not pose in lingerie. Thus, she couldn't do the shoot. Nigel is confused, because Shannon's focus is on semantics rather than skin. It's about the word, rather than how much of her body is actually showing. Tyra agrees that she's mostly heard girls saying they're not comfortable showing a particular amount of skin, so the lingerie versus swimsuit distinction (or lack thereof) does get confusing. Nikos cuts to it, and says that he doesn't want to book a girl with so many limitations. Tyra adds that it's good to stand for what you believe in (even when nonsensical, I guess), and says that since Shannon doesn't have a photo her whole portfolio and performances throughout the competition will be considered.
Dominique is , and everyone loves her curly hair. Nigel likes her shot, and the strength in her face. He also commends her for managing the sun by not closing her eyes entirely while also not looking directly at the light. This is the most incredible he's ever seen Dominique. ALT loves it too, and Tyra notes how the sun is glistening off of her oil-covered cheekbone. Her film overall apparently rocked. Then there's Laura, who Tyra says looks like Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants chasing a boy in Greece. No, I don't know what that means either. Laura's photo is not very glamorous, according to Nigel, and he says he's surprised at how sweet she is in person, and how porny her face looks in her photos. ALT does not enjoy how Laura is holding the olive oil carafe above her head, as if she's pouring oil in her hairdo. He spits out the word "hairdo" like you don't even know.
The judges deliberate. ALT loves Allison's photo, which is sultry and dreamy. She managed to pull it off despite her vampire eyes. Nigel agrees, and says that Allison is wilted and collapsed and beautiful. Nikos also likes it, and thinks that Allison can do a lot in the business. ALT doesn't dislike Angelea's photo, but it wouldn't entice him to eat the salad or buy the lingerie. Nigel, however, thinks it's a sexy, Sports Illustrated moment. Nigel also thinks that Lisa's picture is a swimsuit pose, and Nikos adds that she wasn't spontaneous at all. ALT agrees that Lisa is predictable. Tyra likes it, though. Laura's shot is not working for ALT, and Nigel talks about Laura's virgin/whore thing. Dominique has all the right things happening in her picture, says Nigel. ALT has my favorite quote of the episode when he says, "This could be Helen of Troy... in a Greek salad." He says that it could be a poster for Greece, and Nikos just laughs.
And then there's Shannon. ALT doesn't understand her point of view about lingerie being just for the bedroom. Nigel says unequivocally that it makes no sense, and it's not a moral issue but an issue of brainlessness. He adds that she's had no best pictures in this competition, even though he remembers her having a special spark in her first season. Tyra stands up for Shannon, saying that even though her position is confusing to other people, it's not confusing to Shannon herself. That still doesn't mean that it objectively makes sense, though. But Tyra says that there are so many desperate girls in the fashion industry who will do anything, so the fact that Shannon stays firm about something is noteworthy. And with that, the judges have reached a decision.
Six beautiful ladies stand before Tyra, but she only has five photos in her hands. There is a possibility that one of those photos is blank, representing Shannon. Best photo of the week goes to Dominique, while Allison is named runner-up. Angelea is called , followed by Lisa. This leaves Shannon and Laura in the bottom two. Laura's brand is "lovable," which Tyra explains means sweet. But her photos are consistently not in alignment with "lovable." They are something-else-able. And then there's Shannon, a girl who is pure to her brand. Tyra finds that noble, but the judges find it confusing. Also tiresome. So who stays? Laura, duh. Everyone has had enough of Shannon's shenanigans. Tyra tells Shannon that she's not just going home because she didn't do the photo shoot. The judges looked at all of her photos, and realized that she's the only one in the bunch who has never had best photo or won a challenge. Tyra tells Shannon that she's a great model, but became merely "good" once she got to all-stars. Shannon tells us that she has no regrets. She thinks that she's handled herself with class and dignity, and stayed true to who she is. Shannon is going home to her family and husband, who will be proud with how she handled herself. Jesus also approves, I bet! When we're all sweating in hell, I'm sure Shannon will have the last laugh.
week: The girls get shots and, in a separate context, Angelea goes off!
Potes thanks the creative genius who came up with the Greek salad idea. Even if it was Jay Manuel. She can be tweeted @traciepotes and emailed at potesypotes@gmail.com