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It's the moment you've been waiting for: the Top Model charity flag football challenge! Awww yeah, bitches. The girls head to Long Beach where they meet apparently still living Brittny Gastineau and "fiercely real" model Julie Henderson, who tell them the rules of engagement. They break into two teams, and are joined by both the previously eliminated contestants and four NLF players who divide themselves up to make things fair. The Red Team includes Shannon, Kayla, Alexandria and Lisa, while the Blue Team includes Bre, Laura, Angelea, and Bianca. Angelea can barely concentrate, because the presence of testosterone has made her so randy. The winning team will get $5,000 to be split across the charities represented by the two NFL players who are with them. There's also a modeling element: when a flag is thrown and a girl's name is called, she'll have to strike a pose (with an NFL player) for a nearby photographer. The winner of the individual challenge will get some tacky Gastineau bling, along with a campaign on Tyra's "Type (WT)F" website. I know, people, I know.
The girls get VERY rough during the game, with Bianca blaming Lisa at least three times (once "just because"). Still, Lisa scores the first touchdown for the Red Team. Bre throws a touchdown pass for Blue, tying things up, and then with seconds left the Blue Team scores another touchdown and wins the game. Kayla wins the individual challenge and the title of Most Valuable Model, much to her delight. To our non-delight, we then see Kayla participate in an infomercial for Type(WT)F.com, also starring Andre Leon Talley, who you think would be above this shit. Maybe this is why he's not coming back year?
For the week's photo shoot, the girls are going to have to display some bitchitude and aggression with each other, and with famous supermodel co-star Coco Rocha! It turns out that Coco also teaches posing classes, and she tells the girls to try mouthing vowels when they can't think of anything else to do. Shannon and Bianca are paired up first, and clearly have some Crying Christian beef to draw on. They're a little too timid at first, and their photographer tells them to scream. They do, and things seem to get better. And everyone is friendly in the end, hooray. Kayla and Allison are paired, much to Kayla's chagrin. They can't get in a rhythm, and look very amateur compared to Coco, though Kayla turns it out in the end. Angelea is paired with Laura, and winds up being intimidated and devoid of energy. She starts crying, and Jay gives her a little pep talk about self-worth. After that, she kills it. Alexandria and Bre are paired, and Bre is so intense that she even scares Coco. Lisa and Dominique are last, and Jay deems them the perfect trio. At panel, Dominique and Lisa get the most love of all, and Dominique is called first. Bre and Alexandria land in the bottom two, and the spirit-devoid Bre gets the axe. Aw, crap, there goes my top spot in the Top Model pool. And then Bre leaves before Tyra can even give her a talking to! Way to do it, lady.
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!We enter a little bit differently this week, with the girls hanging out backstage after panel. Angelea complains that none of the judges liked her photo, and then we are reminded that Saint LaToya showered the contestants with benevolence last week, and no one was sent home. LaToya told Angelea to try harder, and that's what she intends to do. She should really try harder with the concealer -- girl's skin is looking rough these days. Bianca, meanwhile, is still on a tear. She says that she wants to be in the competition, and deserves to be there, and thinks that she's a winner. You will not be surprised when I tell you that no one gives a shit, still. Lisa rolls her eyes, and then tells us that Bianca brought both the house drama and her insecurities to panel last week. We get a sepia-toned flashback of Bianca characterizing herself as a six-foot, 120-pound personality who is real competition to the other girls. Lisa, however, characterizes Bianca as a spoiled brat who complains and bitches if she doesn't get her way. To which I say, stop! You're both right!
Bianca reiterates that she's big competition, and Lisa tells her that she's delusional. Bear in mind that Lisa is the one whose fashion inspiration seems to be "Whore Ernestine meets Rosie the Riveter." Lisa tells Bianca that she bullies everyone, yet thinks she's the victim. Bianca is done talking to Lisa, and points out that they'll never be friends. Lisa seems pretty much okay with that. As Bianca says that she's locked, loaded and ready for war, and one little thing can make a big eruption, we head to credits.
When the girls return home, Laura's strange Michael Jackson photo is being displayed as digital art. Laura explains that this is the best photo in which to get best photo, because you're honoring Michael Jackson. Bianca honors Michael Jackson in life, because of how she constantly wants to be starting something. Bre tells us what we already know, which is that, due to pressure in the house, a lot of personalities are clashing. We flash back to Bre playing Bianca's bodyguard and asserting the lie that everybody was good. She tells us that she's always there for her sister Bianca, but at the same time Bianca is a grown-ass woman who can fight her own battles. Bre, as it turns out, has her own battles to fight with the panel. She tells Bianca and Kayla that, no matter what her critique is, she's always called in the bottom three or four. Focusing too much on others (e.g., Bianca) is putting her own self in jeopardy, and so for the time being Bre is focusing on Bre.
Meanwhile, there is Tyra Mail! "If you care about anything, you won't drop the ball. Fierce and love, Tyra." Laura thinks that this sounds dangerous. Spoiler: she isn't wrong! Lisa tells us that she was in the bottom two with Angelea, and that it's important for her to do well this week. She also tells us that she's a great model, and has lots of experience in the business. Which business? That could help us determine the veracity of her statement. Lisa says that she's been pounding the pavement since she was a little girl with no help from anyone. Little Orphan Lisa! I guess Mama Warbanks didn't provide the windfall she'd hoped for. Like cockroaches and Cher, Lisa's still here. And, spoiler, she's not going anywhere. I am legitimately shocked that she's made it through episode six.
The girls head to Long Beach, where they find a sign that says "America's Top Model All Stars Charity Challenge." Isn't it charity enough that Tyra let these bitches come back on TV? Nigel meets the girls on the beach, with special guests Brittny Gastineau and Julie Henderson. Bre describes Brittny Gastineau as "an incredible socialite that everybody strives to be at some point in their life." Poll: do you think anyone who starred on the reality show Filthy Rich: Cattle Drive can really be considered a role model? And yes, I watched way more episodes of that show than is humanly decent. Julie Henderson, on the other hand, is a "fiercely real" supermodel. That means that she's, like, a size 8. Julie and her friend and fellow model Kate Dillon started an organization called Curves for Change, and though we don't learn precisely what said organization does, it has something to do with bettering the world. Blah blah blah. Save it for the Oprah Winfrey Network!
Today, Julie and Brittny are apparently going to help the girls better the world. And how will they do that? By playing flag football. If only Mother Teresa had thought of this, her impact would have been unparalleled! There will be two football teams, but because the remaining girls aren't numerous enough to fully fill out two teams, the eliminated contestants are brought back. Brittany Brower hollowly says that you couldn't ask for more. Except to still be in the competition, I guess. The girls are outfitted in crop tops and bathing suit bottoms, thus not violating Shannon's morality clause. The Red Team includes Shannon, Kayla, Alexandria, and Lisa. I guess the other members really don't matter for our purposes today. Kayla tells us that she's done sports all of her life, and then verbally confirms the stereotype that athletics are for the lady gays. The Blue Team includes Angelea, Bre, Laura, Bianca, and Allison. Bre assures us that the Blue Team is ready for mass destruction.
The girls return to the beach, and Nigel says that they look good but could still probably use a little help. Happily, there are some friends from the NFL on hand to do just that. At the sight of a Y chromosome, Angelea almost falls to the sand. 716 needs some lovin'! We are introduced to the football players. The Blue Team will get Julian Edelman, from the New England Patriots. All of the players are representing a charity, and Julian's is the Ellie Fund out of Boston. At least it's not the one where they pass around the can at the movie theater and make you feel guilty while eating your $7 popcorn. I refuse to give money to that one just on principle. Also joining the Blue Team is Jahvid Best from Detroit, who is representing something called the Breathmobile. Fighting halitosis on wheels since 1976! No, I looked up the Breathmobile and it actually provides care to kids with allergies and asthma, both of which I have! Hooray, people who gasp, wheeze and snot all damn day. The Red Team gets Houston's Kareem Jackson, who's representing the Learning Experience School in Miami. San Diego's Dante Hughes is also joining the Red Team, and he's representing Athletes Against Drugs. Angelea remains beside herself. Nigel announces that the winning team will receive $5,000, which will be split between the charities represented by their two NFL players. The disappointment that the money will go to a charity other than "model who can't find work" is palpable.
But wait! There's more! This is America's Top Model, of course, and girlfights must have a fashion element to them. Thus, whenever a flag is thrown, one contestant's name will be called, and said contestant will have to pose for a nearby camera. Bre thinks this is all too much. The girl with the best photo will be awarded a campaign on Tyra's new website, TypeF.com. How does Tyra have the time for yet another crappy vanity project hot on the heels of Modelland,, you may wonder? It is truly a mystery for the ages. If I've learned one thing from Tyra's career, it's that throwing a ton of shit at the wall and seeing what sticks can actually make you pretty rich. And also that "Shake Ya Body (Body)" is not the thing that will stick. Sigh. The winner will also get some bling from the Gastineau Glamour jewelry line. After all, you can never have too much cubic zirconia!
With that, it's football time. There is a thick cloud of sand throughout this whole thing. Alexandria tells us that she was diving and getting sand in her cooch and did not even care. Kayla, whose posterior has to be blurred out, tells us that many of the girls took this football game as an opportunity to work out some personal frustration. You don't say! Bre tells us that she and Angelea are pitbulls on the field, and they can take some bitches out. With elbows, apparently! Bianca is, no surprise, an elbow-thrower as well, and Lisa says that she got attacked super hard by the lady herself. And of course, Bianca does not disown this. She says, "Bam! That was for getting in my business. Bam! That was for talking out of turn. Bam! That's just because." She is truly a national treasure. Shannon doesn't like arguments, tension, or being tackled. This is also not surprising, as she looks like she might snap in half if the wind gets too gusty.
The first flag is thrown, and Dominique is first to pose -- with one of the NFL players -- for the cameras. She kind of turns it out, to be honest. Bre is , and tells us that she loves to bring energy to her photos. Nigel thinks that she looked a little silly. Kayla's pictures were dynamic and whorish, which is just what Nigel was looking for. Finally, someone scores a touchdown. It's the Red Team, with the ball being run down the field by Lisa. For someone's grandma, she sure moves pretty fast! Bianca tells us that she's not intimidated by Lisa in the least, because Lisa is a whole ball of fire with no flame. As much as I normally appreciate Bianca's bon mots, that really doesn't make any sense. Lisa is for the photo challenge, and looks insane. Shannon does a good job, and looks elegant despite the fact that she has sand in her bloomers. Alexandria overdid her shots, and Nigel says that you have to remember your model. Sister Angelea of the Hormones pulls in two NFL players for her shoot, but then sucks with the modeling part of it. She was just too horny to remember her face.
Okay, back to football. Bre throws a touchdown pass for the Blue Team! But then back to posing. Oh, Allison. This particular kind of sand- and burly man-infused shoot is just not her forte. Bianca gets to show off her long legs, but looks a little goofy overall. Laura gives an all-American hot dog of a performance, and looks pretty great. And then with six seconds left, the Blue Team manages to score another touchdown and wins the game. I know you were on the edge of your seat for that one. Nigel presents big oversized checks to the NFL players, who already have been paid in T&A. Nigel then tells the girls that it's time to judge their photos. As Angelea wonders if someone is going to be eliminated on the spot, we head to commercials.
When we return, Nigel tells the ladies that they all obviously had fun posing amidst the tackling, but sometimes things aren't all about fun. Sometimes they're about standing in the whipping and obviously frigid wind to a lady who doesn't even have sense to put the proper "e" in her name, doling out an opportunity to appear on your boss's insane and ill-named vanity project of a website. Being Nigel Barker is actually my idea of purgatory. Anyway, the MVM -- Most Valuable Model -- of the competition is Kayla. She is incredibly pleased by her first challenge victory, and also her butt is still pixilated. Kayla learns that she'll be styled by Andre Leon Talley for her TypeF.com photo shoot, which I suppose means that she'll be fashioned as a sexy and free wizard.
And then before you know it, we're with Kayla on her TypeF.com shoot. ALT is there, wearing an upside down salad bowl on his head. Of course. I think he's actually going for a Japanese theme, as he's wearing a sort of garbage-bag-wizard-cloak kimono. It's a lot of look. I like to think that having to shill for TypeF.com is what made ALT quit this show. ALT explains that Tyra created TypeF.com as a place where she gives individualized tips on beauty and fashion. The site is SO important to her that she couldn't even be bothered to show up for Kayla's shoot, except via a little "Tyra Cam" that was obviously filmed after the fact and is insufferable. ALT says that one of the great inspirations for Tyra's site is the word "fierce." He asks Kayla, "What's your F?" He does not want to ask that question of me. Kayla's of course is "free," because she's still taking that branding thing seriously. ALT can't even believe that and totally shuts her up with a dismissive, "Yes yes yes," as she tries to explain how she believes that women should be free to explore every side of themselves. Sapphic sides especially! Kayla gets all done up and poses and screeches a lot. She gets a good, leg-kicking shot representing freedom and we're out.
Back at the house, there is more Tyra Mail: "Get ready to claw your way to the top. Fierce and love, Tyra." Alexandria thinks that it has something to do with animals, and also wants to get best photo for once. How is she still here? I wonder every week. Angelea tells us that this cycle is very intense, and that she's actually surprised at how seriously she's taking it. The girls wind up at a club of some sort, where Jay Manuel awaits them. He tells them that this week for their shoot they're going to have a good old fashioned bitch fight. In an interview, Bre seems particularly primed for a bar fight. She's skinny but scrappy. Jay continues that there are some major campaigns out there right now that feature models fighting or showing aggression, that are also very dynamic. That's what the girls will be going for today. They'll be posing alongside of and compared to a bona fide modeling superstar working today -- Miss Coco Rocha. And seriously, just Google her if you haven't already. This bitch knows what she's doing. She emerges looking Type FU fierce and glamorous and just the slightest bit alienesque. Angelea tells us that she's a bit intimidated, given Coco's talent and credentials and salary scale. To top it all off, the girls will be posing in pairs with Coco. Jay asks Coco, who apparently has a side job teaching posing, if she has any tips for the ladies. She tells them that her secret has always been mouthing the vowels to relax the face, then breathing. The photographer for the day is Douglas Friedman.
In hair and makeup, hairstylist tells Kayla that the look for today is a modern take on the late '70s. Bianca and Shannon are paired up, which makes Shannon nervous given all the drama and Crying Christian accusations of last week. But she has a healthy attitude about it, which is basically: "Fuck Bianca, y'all, I'm here to win it," minus the swears. Jay asks the pair if they have any beef they can use to make the shot more authentic, then calls them out on their fake smiles when they answer in the negative. The shoot starts, and of course Coco looks amazing straightaway. Douglas encourages Shannon and Bianca to make some noise as they're posing. Shannon is amazing, but Jay has to remind Bianca to scream while maintaining a pretty face. Coco gives us her thoughts, and basically deems Shannon and Bianca proficient. They did what they were supposed to do, and a photo will come of it. Bianca tells us that she and Shannon did have a beef in the past, but they worked it out. She might want to tell Shannon about that. Their shoot ends with Bianca falling on the floor, yet still managing to look gorgeous.
Allison and Kayla are paired , and Kayla is not thrilled. This is because Allison is so effortlessly good. A few moments into their shoot, Allison is panting and Jay tells her not to throw her head all the way back. I assume she's becoming a too-much-neck monster. Coco is amazing again, obviously, and when Allison falls on the floor Douglas laughs but Jay does not. Jay tells us that Allison's shoot was embarrassing to watch. Coco looked like a professional, with two amateurs dangling off of her arms. Allison is completely and adorably lost. Douglas gives Coco a bottle to break, and the smashing sound shocks Kayla into her best picture yet. She's shocked that she wound up outshining one of her biggest competitors.
Coco visits the girls backstage, and Angelea asks if she has any tips for working on her angles. Coco tells her to move around, and then does this magic two-second face posing thing that blows Angelea's mind. Angelea is more scared than ever, but knows that she needs to show people that she's a pro now, too. She's paired with Laura, and Jay tells the girls that Angelea will be sort of crawling up Coco's leg. In the midst of this, he notes that Angelea is low-energy, and tells her to pick it up. Their shoot involves Coco pushing Laura onto a big bouncy mattress thingy, which must be fun. Laura is thrilled to get the opportunity to watch Coco work. Angelea, however, is not thrilled about anything. She tells us that she's overwhelmed to begin with, and as a bonus is quite intimidated by the professional lady on set who can do 75 poses in a minute. Her energy continues to lag, and Jay tells her that she looks half asleep. Douglas tells Mr. Jay that Angelea is a pretty girl, but "there's nothing." Jay replies that, depending on the day, you can sometimes get something. As Angelea starts crying and walks off set, we head to commercials.
When we return, Jay Manuel approaches the crying Angelea and asks what's going on. She says that she feels like she's fighting and trying, but whatever she does isn't good enough. Crisis of confidence! Jay Manuel is much better in these situations than in crises of overconfidence, such as those had by Bianca. Jay explains that in the modeling world and in life, people struggle with their own sense of self and whether they are worthy enough. And you know, Angelea once slept in a bus station, so there's that. Now, Jay says, she looks the part, and if this is something she wants, she can have it. I don't know if I'd go quiiiiite that far, but she's really a splendid person and natural entertainer and I kind of wish she had her own non-modeling show. Angelea interviews that being tall, skinny and awkward looking is not an advantage when you grow up in the hood, and when you're around so much negativity, you start to think negative. Jay's positive words made Angelea think that maybe she is beautiful. She gets her makeup touched up, then heads back on set. Douglas tells us that he was worried about what would happen when Angelea came back, but she was awesome. Douglas then tells Laura to try screaming when she's falling, so we are treated to yet more shrieks.
Alexandria and Bre are , and Alexandria tells us how important it is for her to get number one or two photo this week. I hoped, in vain, that this meant she was a goner. Sigh. Bre and Alexandria make a pact to be loudest of the day, which sadly proves to be true. Bre, who is outfitted in the most hideous dress, tells us that this is the time when the judges nitpick, and she wants to prove that she's really trying. Bre screams like someone who's being chased by zombies in pose after pose, until Coco finally stops for a minute and says, "You're freaking me out!" Coco tells us that Bre was crazy, and she's never worked with someone like that, even in her professional career. I love how she distinguishes this gig from her professional career. Keeping it real with Coco! She adds that people have to remember that it's a photo shoot and not a real fight. Also not boding well for Bre is the fact that when she screams so loud her face does not look pretty. Coco is completely thrown off and says she didn't know how to pose anymore, and it was shocking. Meanwhile, Alexandria is on the floor whining dramatically. Her dress is really pretty, though.
Lisa tells us that in terms of confidence level, she's usually at a nine or ten. However, being in the bottom two for two weeks in a row signals that she needs to accelerate. She's paired with Dominique, who's looking especially lovely. Their posing seems to go quite well, and Jay tells us that Lisa, Dominique and Coco were the perfect trio. And no one's even shouting! See, this shit can be done quietly and well. And that's a wrap!
Back at the house, there is Tyra Mail of Doom. Type D mail. Someone is going home. The ladies hang out in the hot tub and debrief, and Bre tells us that she and Alexandria brought a whole lot of energy to the photo shoot today. So much that they scared Coco! She adds that you never know which photo the judges will choose (e.g. one in which you look like shit, even though there were better ones available), but she put 100% in and can't give more than she has. Alexandria is feeling good, and announces that she's still in it to win it. With these ominous words, we head to commercials.
When we return, it's panel time. Tyra is once again rocking her menswear with suspenders. What's up with her wig this season, though? It's so limp and sad. There are prizes, there are judges. Coco is the guest judge, wearing multilayered doilies. Tyra proves her penchant for alliteration by noting that this week the girls were "fashion fighting on a football field." Simile is also a big literary concept used in this show, as in, "You look like an amputee." English teachers of the world, I hope you're capitalizing on such things. Kayla and Allison are up first for evaluation, and ALT says that their photo is cinematic, and he feels like it's a great fight. Coco of course looks awesome, and Tyra says that she is reminiscent of a matador. Kayla has a pretty yet fearful look on her face, and the color of her dress really suits her well. Nigel says that the three ladies looked like they were in incredible symmetry. Coco points out that Allison had no idea what was going on, and she wasn't expecting her to get such a great picture. See, what Kayla said about her just standing there and opening her eyes and getting a fabulous shot is totally true! I can see how that would be infuriating to others.
Shannon and Bianca are , and once again Coco steals the show in their photos. They should never allow a real model to pose with the ladies, it just makes this whole thing even sadder. Nigel tells Bianca that she looks exquisite, and Tyra adds that she's giving ugly-pretty. Coco is the master of ugly pretty, as she can look demonic and also perfect. I wish I had that skill. Shannon's photo is also good, and Tyra tells her that if she'd just turned her face a little more to the camera she wouldn't have been upstaged. ALT agrees that everyone looks incredible, but that Shannon's legs look weak even though her face is strong. But pretty good job all around on this one.
Laura and Angelea are . ALT loves the energy in the shot and Angelea's open mouth, even though her eyes are closed. Nigel also loves Angelea's expression, and says that she's screaming but still looks really beautiful. Tyra similes that she's like the beautiful Bride of Frankenstein. Coco notes that Angelea had a bit of a moment on set, but was able to turn around and get things done even though she was so upset. As a model, that was a really professional move. Tyra tells Laura that she has amazing energy, but her body movements aren't so modelesque. In all fairness, she was being thrown down on the floor.
up are Alexandria and Bre. Despite being terrified throughout this shoot, Coco looks amazing. Again! Tyra tells Alexandria that although she usually looks high fashion in her photos, in this particular one she looks like a reality show contestant that got to do a photo shoot with a supermodel. That's exactly what she is, motherfuckers! Is Tyra now demonstrating the concept of sarcasm? Nigel tells Alexandria that, although she's having fun with the shoot, it looks like it's from a different story. He also thinks that she looks toothless. That can't be good. ALT actually likes Alexandria in the photo, but thinks that Bre looks like a socialite who can't even convince him that this is a real fight. Coco notes that Bre was screaming to a terrifying level, and was so wrapped up in getting the emotion out that it became a bit too much. Nigel says that Bre looks slapstick rather than high fashion, which is a result of being too over the top.
Finally, we have Dominique and Lisa. Lisa is wearing really stupid sunglasses, in keeping with her signature look of always wearing something really stupid. Dominique, however, looks fly. She also looks wonderful in the photo. Nigel says that she looks really strong, really powerful, and is the star of this picture. Tyra adds some sort of crime drama witness narrative to the photo, and ALT thinks that it could be a still from a Quentin Tarantino movie entitled, Kill Bill Twell-Vuh. Tyra asks Coco how she felt about Lisa pulling her crotch, and, like most people who are the victim of Lisa's crotch-pulls, Coco didn't even know it was happening. She does confirm that both girls were posing like champs and working really hard. Nigel notes that Lisa looks great, but has a tendency to have her mouth open in every photograph. She's either catching flies or dicks with that thing.
The judges deliberate. Angelea is dynamic, and Tyra loves feeling every minute of her pain. Coco thought that Sister Angelea of the Meltdown was going home, but was amazed at how she pulled it together. Laura doesn't come off as a model in the photograph, but rather a stunt extra. For Nigel, Shannon doesn't work in her shot -- he's not drawn to her and doesn't believe her. Tyra says that she's technically good, but not fashionably amazing. ALT notes that it's all about Bianca, who's like a predatorial praying mantis. I think "predatorial" is a great term for a shot that's high fashion but extremely aggressive. This whole thing gives several panel members the opportunity to roar like a lion. ALT loves Kayla and Allison's photo, and feels the tension. However, Nigel is not blown away by Kayla and thinks she looks stiff. He does think that Allison looks extraordinary. Tyra points out that it's very hard for the girls to be in a photo with Coco, and still stand out and look professional, but Allison held her own. Coco agrees that Allison looks amazing.
Nigel doesn't have a lot to say about Bre, other than she wasn't giving much variety and, despite all the screaming, it was boring. Coco adds that it wasn't even a regular scream, but that Bre was screaming shit like, "I'll save you!" and "Police!" ALT seems quite amused by the dreckitude of this. Tyra says that you can call police all you want if you look pretty while doing it. Alexandria looks old in her picture, as always. Her body position is quite nice, but Nigel would crop her head out. Ouch. ALT agrees that this would take the picture to the level. Lisa and Dominique knew what they were doing, and got Coco really excited. Nigel points out that Lisa is a natural with fighting, and got right in the moment. Coco is impressed with Lisa's ability to hold up her own body, which I guess a lot of models are unable or too lazy to do. That is...just, wow. Dominique looks fabulous, and Nigel says that she's a rising star in the competition. Coco's back was to Dominique throughout, but she could feel that there was a lot of movement. And with that, the judges have reached a decision.
When the girls return, Tyra continues to spread literacy throughout the world by pointing out the literal and figurative fights that were taking place in the photo shoot. She doesn't do the "ten girls, nine photos" shtick, but I think we can safely assume that Coco Rocha is not anywhere near as benevolent as Queen LaToya. The best photo of the week goes to... Dominique! Oh, good for her. In my book, she's a winner strictly for not seeming demented. Second photo goes to Lisa, followed by Bianca, Angelea, Allison, Kayla, Shannon, and Laura. This leaves Bre and Alexandria in the bottom two. Tyra says that they're both beautiful, and also two of the most popular girls from cycles past. Alexandria? Does Tyra even watch this show ever? Bre is a girl who has grown more beautiful as she's aged, but she seemed guarded. However, on the photo shoot this week she was unguarded. But it's not just about the performance on set -- it's about what's captured on film. And then there's Alexandria, who went really far in her own cycle due to her strong photos. But from week to week in this cycle, she's losing her competitive edge and her photos are getting soft. Both ladies only possess a smidgen -- and yes, Tyra actually just used the word "smidgen" -- of the power that they had in their original cycles. So who stays? Fucking Alexandria. I KNOW.
Bre gives Alexandria a hug, and then with a quick acknowledgement to her fellow contestants, she just high tails it out of there before Tyra can patronize her further. Tyra doesn't mention it, but you know she's burning up inside. Well, burning up to the extent that she gives two shits about this show anymore, which is debatable. But really, one point for dignity. Bre tells us that she's proud of herself for wanting to finish what she started so many years ago. She feels like she gave 100% every day, and whether the judges saw that or not is out of her hands. But Bre can leave knowing that she wasn't trying to be someone else just to be liked, and she gave the best of herself. With that, Bre's photo disappears from the ending group shot, and Bianca is left without a bodyguard.
week: the ladies design their own fragrances, have a tete-a-tete with fucking PIGFORD, Lisa splashes around in a bathtub to sell her perfume, Kathy Griffin is a guest judge (!!!), there's a motorcycle photo shoot, and more dramatic shenanigans pervade the house.
Potes wants Coco to come to her house and just stand around posing all day. She can be tweeted @traciepotes or emailed at potesypotes@gmail.com.