Episode Report Card Lady Lola: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Video Killed the Reality Star
By Lady Lola | Season 3 | Episode 15 | Aired on 02.14.2011
Out in the parking lot, Naomi sweet talks a cheerleader so she can borrow her. Just as she's about to take off, Max intercepts her to ask why she didn't show up in lab that day with her soil samples. She says she has more important things to do, but he thinks it's important to maintain his perfect GPA so he can get into MIT. She tells him to save his own ass by doing her work, but he refuses to cheat. He hops in her car, hell-bent to force her to collect soil samples wherever she's going.
Abbott Playhouse. The cast plays theater games as Annie does grunt work. She gets a phone call from Liam, who makes plans to stop by the theater soon. Their conversation catches the jealous attention of Emily, who devises to send Annie away on a frozen yogurt run.
Naomi and Max reach their destination: The groundbreaking ceremony for her con artist guru's spiritual center. The guru asks everyone to take a moment of silence in appreciation of the land. Naturally, the moment is interrupted when Naomi pulls up barking from her bullhorn that the guru is a fraud. "My bikini waxer is more spiritual," she blares, then attempts to lead a chant of, "Screw you, guru!" Nobody joins in. Naomi spots a reporter and tries to get him to write up her story. Instead, he makes fun of her for being a typical trust fund kid. Even the supplicants have a good chuckle at that one, and the guru gives Naomi a patronizing "Namaste" for the road.
Naomi runs off, and Max follows to make sure she's okay. She tells him she's not and updates him on her crisis of confidence post-swindle. She admits that she just wanted to feel special and important. Max likens her situation to The Matrix, or as Naomi knows it, "the movie with the hideous leather coats." Max assures her she's not lame for wanting to feel significant because everyone feels that way. She begins to soften to him, only to be reminded of his horrifying nerdiness when he jizzes himself over a rare owl flapping its wings overhead. He tells her all about how the bird is essentially endangered in California. She puts two and two together, and they realize that the state would not be able to sell this land if they can prove it's the bird's habitat, meaning she could get her money back. Naomi makes like Snuffaluffagus and tells Max to "Follow That Bird!"
AAdrianna's house. The camera crew films as Ivy sits by with an expression of disgust (mainly at herself) and disinterest as AAdrianna yammers on about her break-up with Navid, involving an especially unsavory dream in which AAdrianna ends up kissing Perez Hilton. A nightmare, indeed. The director groans that Ivy won't stop looking in the camera, so Ivy suggests they cut her out of the show. AAdrianna insists she needs a "posse." The director says the real problem is that watching AAdrianna's life has thus far been somewhere below watching paint dry on the thrill factor. AAdrianna thinks the show should be about her career and comeback. Asks the director, "What comeback?" Feeling a pang of empathy, Ivy suggests AAdrianna could get a part in the video Navid and Dixon are shooting. AAdrianna thinks her prayers have been answered.
Across town, Liam arrives at the playhouse, where Emily is conveniently waiting at the front door. Emily tells him Annie's on an errand, then coyly invites him to run lines with him.
Shirazi Studios. Dixon pours an industrial-sized bag of candy corn into a bowl and congratulates Navid for pulling everything together at the last minute. Before they can even wipe the sweat off their brows, AAdrianna parades in with her camera crew and asks if Navid can convince Nelly to let her cameo in his video. He tells her he doesn't care about her reality show and tells her to get out of there before she damages his business. After he walks off, the producer suggests AAdrianna go over Navid's head and talk to Nelly herself. She doesn't want to go behind Navid's back, but the producer says her show depends on it.
AAdrianna swallows her pride and approaches Nelly. He doesn't recognize her at first and asks if she's a dancer. She wells up with hope and tells him she can dance. Suddenly he places her as "the chick who stole the songs from that dead Mexican dude." He calls his people to get her out of there before she steals one of his songs, too. Nelly leaves for his trailer while the big-shot producer interrogates AAdrianna. She says she's a friend of Navid's, but Navid comes over and denies it. The producer angrily tells Navid he's going to have to talk Nelly out of his trailer, calls Navid an amateur, and says Navid is responsible for any overtime due to the setback.
Navid storms outside to confront AAdrianna. They think the cameras are turned off, so they have it out. She thinks he's ruined her chance for a comeback. He accuses her of being self-absorbed and insensitive. She asks if that's why he cheated, and his silence speaks volumes. He admits he cheated and apologizes... for not breaking up with her a long time ago. The director smugly calls cut. He pays no mind to AAdrianna's crumpled face as he congratulates her for finally bringing the drama and asks whether Navid will sign a release.
That night, Silver brings Teddy up to the roof to take out their issues by batting at some tennis balls, like old times. He loosens up as he hits a couple balls and unloads his anger with Ian and the other kids' treatment of him. He knows he can't go back into the closet, and Silver asks if that's what he really wants. She tells him that if he's being honest, things can only get better. He wonders how as he serves a tennis ball down into the parking lot... and right into some guy's face. They run downstairs to find the hapless passerby and apologize. The guy turns out to be a soccer stud named Marco, who is remarkably cool considering. Teddy explains that Silver was talking him through a break-up. "Wow, somebody must've really pissed you off," guesses Marco. "Yeah... he did," says Teddy. Marco's one remaining good eye lights up a bit at this. He says he's been there, then writes his number on Teddy's tennis ball and suggests Teddy make it up to him with a free tennis lesson some time. Silver gives Teddy a big, "I told you so."