By Lady Lola
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.AAdrianna tries her hand at reality TV, but LC she ain't. After filming hours of mind-numbing footage griping about Navid dumping her (with what was perhaps Ivy's only worthwhile scene... ever), she tries desperation on for size and asks Navid to help her after he and Dixon reinvent Shirazi Studios as a music video location. Their first artist is Nelly, who shames the shit out of AAdrianna by telling his lackeys, "Yo, get this girl outta here before she steals one of my songs." After being shot down like a lone wolf in Palin country, her humiliation spawns an angry confrontation with Navid that results in his revealing that he cheated. Lucky for AAdrianna, this humiliation and her maniacal plan for revenge make for great reality TV!
Scuzzin' Emily, local theater star du jour, devises new and delicious way to humiliate intern Annie, such as sending her on runs for frozen yogurt. The horror! She turns one of these errands to her advantage by partially disrobing and hitting on Liam under the guise of "running lines." Annie finds them lap-on-lap at precisely the wrong time and brings the pain. When Liam takes up for a (fake) crying Emily, Annie tells him to take a hike.
Speaking of which, Naomi gets stuck in the woods with her nerdy-hiding-cute lab partner -- the very same who inspired this unfortunate display, I suspect. She ropes him into stalking the guru-cum-con-artist who swindled her trust fund. Through a feat of sheer dorkery, they realize that the guru has used Naomi's cash to buy 10 acres of protected land, on which she is legally forbidden to build. They snap a shot of an endangered animal, present it to her lawyers, and Naomi gets her money back. But it's a bittersweet victory when she realizes -- gasp! -- that she has a crush on a dweeb.
And Teddy starts skipping school after being harassed by homophobes. Silver takes him up to the roof to play with balls, just like old times! Teddy serves a tennis ball right into a sexy soccer player's face, but it turns out that the soccer stud plays for Teddy's team, which means that our newest friend of Dorothy has officially gone over the rainbow.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously: Naomi got conned by a yoga guru. Annie, too, by her part-stealin' scuzzin' Emily. Teddy, as well, by his former boyfriend-turned-blackmailer Ian. As did many underage girls by Navid's porn producer dad. And America writ large by this show's writers if we think AAdrianna's dumb enough to not notice a single sparkly earring (matching the one she found in Navid's bedroom) just below Silver's Bieber mop. Okay, to be fair, maybe burgeoning reality star AAdrianna is actually that dumb...
Beach club. AAdrianna and Naomi hash out Navid's cheatin' ways over breakfast while Silver sits by uncomfortably. Naomi snarks that she has trouble believing Navid could even get a side piece, then covers her ass by blaming "the slut who seduced him." Just as AAdrianna begins to speculate on who that slut might be, Silver leaps to Navid's defense and suggests that the earring AAdrianna found might have belonged to one of Navid's million sisters. AAdrianna concedes this is a possibility, then someone in the background yells, "Cut!" They're filming AAdrianna's reality show, and she is super-excited. Silver, not so much. Naomi Heidi Montags, "I can be your posse... maybe you could be mine?" Silver wonders if it's right to trash Navid on national television. The others are unremorseful. The director sets them up for another scene, with his only real direction being, "Silver, try not to look like you're being tortured, 'kay?"
Elsewhere, Navid wraps up breakfast with his mother. His mom gets the check. The waiter notices their last name is Shirazi and uncouthly asks, "You related to that kiddie porn guy?" Navid blanches a bit before lying that they're not.
West Bev. Silver and Teddy sit in class while their teacher discusses Alexander the Great's controversial legacy. Some wiseacre takes this as a cue to lob a homophobic barb Teddy's way. Silver notices his chagrin.
That night, rehearsals get going at Annie's new theater. Even though not all the actors have arrived, she starts passing out the scripts, introduces herself, and offers her services as the resident intern and beck-and-call girl. Her boss takes her aside to thank her for being so understanding and helpful even though she didn't get the part. Annie says she was just happy to get an audition. The director calls the cast to order just as the last actress arrives. And who is it, but scuzzin' Emily? She takes her script as if there's nothing wrong with this picture, and a betrayed Annie looks on in shock and horror. Credits.