Syesha Mercado manages to be annoying just walking out on stage, deserves to be slapped for even trying to sing "I Will Always Love You," and then has the unmitigated balls to complain about "being compared" to other versions of that song. Bottom three! Nope, safe.
So Brooke and Jason. Brooke's already crying, because obviously out of the two of them she's in the B3. Jason's tranny song was beloved except by Simon, and Brooke was just kind of weird and jangly and shaky and vibrational and weird. There's much talk of Brooke's violinist, and she's awkward as usual, and then Jason is safe, but Brooke still wanders around the stage because she's out of it. This makes Ryan Seacrest super nervous but not as nervous as Dolly is going to make him in a second.
KLC explains that they are roommates twelve times in a row even though nobody asked, Ramiele makes idiotic faces, and Brooke looks like she's been punched. So yeah, everybody's in character. Simon says they belong there, and apologizes for mentioning what hell Carly always looks like. Ramiele is like two feet tall and looks utterly ridiculous between Brooke and the Colonel. Also, stop saying Idol Gives Back is coming. And don't you fucking tell me that Miley Cyrus is going to be there. Come on. That's such a dick move I can't even believe it. As is the Addis Ababa snuff film cum music video that follows. Bleep-bloop. I wish Bono were here to be like, "That little girl's sister died, but in another way, she didn't."
Ramiele, KLC, and Brooke are so super sad, but I don't think it's because of Addis Ababa. Then Dolly Parton sings a song called "Jesus & Gravity." Which might be awesome, I have no idea. She's wearing like white satin bike shorts. Bedazzled. With a footman's coat, if footmen wore lingerie. Needless to say she looks fabulous and totally crazy. One day in our future Dolly Parton and Carol Channing intersect. I hope I'm there on that day. Until then, this song will do. Because this song is awesome, it literally makes no sense whatsoever, it's just like namedropping these things without connecting the dots for you at all. "I got Jesus, I got gravity, I got the weak and strong gravitational forces and Jesus, I got BOGO at Payless, I got a canker sore, I got a DVD of Grey's Anatomy Season Two and a sandwich. A tomato saaaaaaaaaaandwich!" Jordin and Holly Robinson Peete are like, "I know, right?" Then Dolly and Ryan go completely nuts and babble at each other for a long, long, long time. Ryan has no idea what to do with her, at all, which is great. He just stares and feels strange while she acts crazy and awesome, and the whole time it's like his fingers are curling into tiny little fists of freakout because he has no control over Dolly because she's a legend, but also on the list of people with no control over Dolly right now is Dolly.
Back to the B3. Randy says that Ramiele is out. I agree. Simon says it's not Brooke for sure. I also agree with that. Ryan's like, "It sucks that Brooke's in the bottom three," and Brooke is all awkward about her variety of reasons, including Addis Ababa, and Dolly and Jesus, and realizes that once again she is making no sense. Ryan's like, "You are absolutely right about...that." So he sends Brooke back, because the girl is like this close to losing her shit entirely. Brooke needs a nap so bad, you guys. Then the Colonel is fuckin' safe again, and little Ramiele is going home. KLC attempts to eat the smaller girl, starting with her head, while Ryan yaks at length.
Ramiele's journey is one of water circling the drain and eventually being crunched up by a garbage disposal, with Ruben singing a crappy song. Ryan tells her how much we all love her, and he's so sweet because he says it in the present tense, but his magic words really help her pull it together. The power of Ryan. Then she really does pull it together and gives one her best performances. And didn't you know she would be one of those that rocked the singout? Good luck, Lullaby.