Episode Report Card Gwen: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT All By Myself
By Gwen | Season 4 | Episode 12 | Aired on 01.23.2000
Can I get a commercial? Sigh. Lucy does laundry. Mary and Ruthie sulk in the living room. Simon joins them. RevCam asks Lucy to watch the twins while he takes a shower. She chirps "sure" and he speculates that her chipper 'tude is because of her date with Chad. Lucy rolls her eyes in a demonically-possessed-looking way and says, "Yeah. It's Chad." But guess what, Lucy? No one cares, so shut up. She walks into the nursery and sees that the Hair Club For Babies twin has dumped baby powder and other stuff all over the floor. Oh, I see. He's left a box of powder in each crib. I guess they figured that was easier than using the same one for both kids. Public Service Announcement from Gwen, who has three kids and not seven, but still: Do not put baby powder or lotion or anything else in your babies' diapers. Baby powder is a breeding ground for the bacteria that cause diaper rash. Keep your babies clean and dry, not powdery or slimy. If you do this, they will never get diaper rash. Well, they won't unless they get diarrhea, but even then, don't powder them -- just wash them with mild soap and water, dry them gently and thoroughly, and the rash will go away within a day. You're welcome. Lucy decides to take the kids to her room and leave the mess for her dad to clean up.
RevCam walks into the living room and starts trying to throw a guilt trip about the lack of clean towels. His kids ignore him. He says something almost-funny about trying a shower without a towel and "thinking outside the box." He goes on to say that there was no more hot water. Mary brilliantly but lackadaisically concludes that the water heater's empty. RevCam suggests that they all pitch in and clean up. None of them is in the mood. Instead of saying, "Uh, I didn't ask if you were in the mood. I asked you to clean up. Now I'm TELLING you. Get your butts off the couch, and clean this house up NOW," he plops down on the couch and cranks on the TV. I hope he's not going to watch Brutally Normal, because I made the mistake of watching it and it really sucked. It was like Parker Lewis Can't Lose taken over by David E. Kelley or something.
Annie and Happy sit on the beach next to what looks like a big clod of sand-colored animal manure. SuperMom's telling Happy that it's wonderful to get away and be alone and blah blah. Then she starts crying. She cries and chokes Happy. I wonder why she's crying. I wonder if the writers read my recent journal entry about needing to cry once in a while. If they did, I'm not going to take credit for the result.