Episode Report Card Gwen: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT All By Myself
By Gwen | Season 4 | Episode 12 | Aired on 01.23.2000
It's later. Mary and Lucy are pacing their room. Lucy crosses her arms under the deep vee of her leopard-print top, showing us her teen cleavage. Mary's funky red sleeveless top stretches tightly over the bustal portion of her semi-sheer white long-sleeved tee. Okay, maybe it's only Satan causing me to think such a thing -- but has anyone ever noticed that they always show the girls from thighs up, so that their breasts are right in the middle of the shot? The boys are usually shown chest-up, so that their heads are in the center of my screen, I believe. I'm no prude, but I tend to get confused. Is pride in one's body a family value? Of course I'm asking, specifically, about pride in the front of one's pubescent female body. Someone who understands these things, please e-mail and let me know. The phone rings. It's Andrew Blahblah. "The girly man?" Mary asks. Hey, Mary, maybe you could wait until after Lucy hangs up with the girly man, huh? Andrew is apparently asking Lucy for a date. Lucy declines, claiming she has to care for the twins. When she hangs up, Mary asks why she lied; Lucy says it's because she might want to go out with him if Brad doesn't call. "I'm really rubbing off on you, aren't I?" asks Mary. Well, it's good to know that it's nurture and not nature in the case of these sisters from Venus. The phone rings again. Mary rolls her eyes because it's Annie calling from "Ocean Side Motel." Annie just wants Mary to tell RevCam that she made it okay. Mary doesn't care as she says bye. Above Annie's hotel bed there's a long poster or print of a mountain-scape emblazoned with "California." Plus, there appears to be a kitchenette of sorts. Either that, or Annie brought along her own cups and pitchers and things so as not to feel too out of her element. At any rate, I assume she called ahead and found out that this place lets patrons bring their dogs along, because Happy's sitting there eavesdropping.
Ruthie runs in, only to have missed the call. Lucy tells her to go and tell Daddy Cam that Mommy Cam's okay. Ruthie's all disappointed about not talking to her mom. She says "Blah blah blah!" and sulks away. Simon yells out for the girls to get off the phone, because Dina might call. "Oh, yeah! You need to know what to wear to bed tonight, right?" yells Lucy. Ha. Cold-blooded, Lucy. "That's not FUNNY," Simon whines. "Yes it is!" calls Mary. Simon turns to see RevCam coming down the hall with both babies in his arms. How come last episode everyone exCEPT the parents was taking care of the twins, and now no one wants to do jack? Huh? Huh? Where's the love? Ruthie stomps by, telling RevCam, "Your WIFE called." Then she gets to her room and slams the door. Shut the freak up, Ruthie. Simon and his dad discuss Dina and the Blue Shirt Incident. RevCam can't think of anything suitably smarmy to say, so Simon gets pissed and takes off.
Annie opens the shade and scopes out the sunset. She runs through a few of the grimaces in her repertoire, then turns to Happy. "We'll miss them tomorrow [pronounced the Canadian way], but tonight . . ." I'm waiting. Tonight what? Was Annie the one who bid highest for the Hello Kitty vibrator on eBay? (Tee hee. Just kidding. Just a little housewife humor there.) "Tonight, we sleep," she finishes. Yeah, I think I'm fixing to go to sleep, myself. When are Matt and Shana gonna shag, dang it?