Episode Report Card Joe R: B+ | 220 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Fashion Of The Christ
By Joe R | Season 1 | Episode 4 | Aired on 2005.08.29
Nancy comes home and immediately is all over Andy after overhearing the cyber-sex stuff. She yells at him that she wants him gone, tonight. Andy's all, "But I was just cooking dinner and I got some great recipes at my friend Conrad's joint earlier." The double entendres come fast and furious from Andy while Nancy barely avoids pummeling him: Pot roast, corned beef hash, baked ziti, and spaghetti marijuana marinara. Nancy shoves him out to the back patio and wants to know what he did. He explains what happened at Heylia's earlier, giggling non-stop at the weirdness of Nancy's new profession. Nancy's fully pissed now and demands to know where her stuff is. Andy, finally getting serious, tells her it's safe. Nancy kind of curls up into a ball on the ground, lamenting Andy's newfound involvement in her double life. "Everything you touch turns to shit," she accuses. Andy says he's family. Nancy smiles and gives that half-laugh, half-sob thing she does sometimes and says she really wants him to leave. Andy recognizes that Nancy's in over her head and says, "You need some help, Nancy Pants." Nancy finally tells him not to call her "Pants" -- that was Judah's name for her, not his. "Whatever you think about me," says Andy, "Judah was my brother. And I loved him. And I have your back." He says he's going to go inside and make dinner for the family. "I'm making stoned crabs -- sorry, I had to get that one out. I was working on them all the way home." Nancy comes oh so close to a smile on that last one.
For whatever reason, the Agrestic Flophouse is empty tonight except for Silas and Megan. They toast on cheap wine in plastic cups and then he uses his Sidekick to type seductive messages to her like "take it off."
Intercutting montage: Celia, looking like shit, stares at herself in the bathroom mirror. Nancy lies awake in bed, worried like hell. Andy's asleep in the couch with a plush stuffed frog for company (hee). Silas kisses Megan sweetly as they lie on their air mattress. And while Celia draws a face on the mirror in lipstick, and a small plane flies overhead, a crate of cola bottles crashes through the roof of the Hodes' master bedroom. Dean awakens to find streaming jets of fizzing cola soaking his bed. Celia, from the bathroom doorway, monotones, "I have cancer."
Dude. Like cancer stands a chance.