Episode Report Card Joe R: B+ | 220 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Fashion Of The Christ
By Joe R | Season 1 | Episode 4 | Aired on 2005.08.29
Heylia's. Conrad and Andy reconnect by way of hugging it out. Heylia couldn't be more over it, passing through the frame every 30 seconds or so to make some sarcastic comment or another. They catch up with each other: Andy's been in Alaska, Conrad's taken up Pilates. Andy asks Conrad if he can hook him up with a little, and before Conrad can even reply, Heylia drops Nancy's pick-up on the kitchen table. Andy doesn't know what he's done to deserve such a bounty, and when Heylia asks for the money, he of course doesn't have it. "Great," huffs Heylia. "Lady Saltine sends her errand boy over with no scratch." Andy's not so slow on the uptake, and he pieces together the fact that Nancy's now dealing fairly quickly. He can't suppress a giggle at this idea, but he also looks mad impressed. He uses the t-shirt money to pay for the rest of Nancy's stash
Back home, Andy teaches Shane how to use the nunchucks, instructing him on the "Dong Hai defense." How's that one work, again? "You protect your dong and swing like your life depended on it." Andy locks onto his crotch and twirls the 'chucks over his head like he's Michael Jackson at a rodeo, which is fitting because Silas busts into the kitchen with an "I need to talk to you, you fucking perv." Andy asks if "that loony chick from Alaska" called (not soon enough), but Silas is talking about that little thing where he e-molested Silas's girlfriend. Andy bullshits that he did that all for Silas, to teach him a lesson: just because she's handicapped doesn't mean Silas shouldn't be all up on that. Seriously, that's the lesson. And hey, Confucius, thanks and all, but Megan was the Blowjob Queen two episodes before we ever met her, so I'm not sure we needed that "lesson." Anyhoo, Andy wins me back by confirming to Shane the correct crotch-grip you need to swing those nunchucks.