Episode Report Card Jessica: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Living Dead Girl
By Jessica | Season 6 | Episode 6 | Aired on 10.29.2002
The party is underway at last. A truly horrible, horrible band plays. Good thing I'm deaf from Audrey's squawking last week, or I'd be in some real pain right now. The band is fronted by this pseudo-Marilyn Manson guy who sings just terribly. Since when are people emulating Marilyn Manson again? Is it suddenly 1997? And if so, am I late for my senior seminar on Henry James? This dude sings for ages and ages and ages. The writers are really padding their episodes with musical numbers this season. I guess I should be glad that they haven't attempted a musical episode yet, because I don't think that Dawson's Creek could pull off a "Once More With Feeling" quite the way Buffy did. Can you imagine the musical numbers, though? I mean, at least it wouldn't be boring. Back at the party, people dance around in their costumes. Todd, dressed as a priest, is chatting up hot blonde twins. Dawson scampers up to him and yelps that he really, really needs to talk to him. "You better be dying," Todd says, making his excuses to the twins. I couldn't have said it better myself. Dawson tells Todd that he saw the ghost! Todd rolls his eyes and tells Dawson that he saw a partygoer in costume. Dawson explains that this was before the party even started. I get bored and decide to teach myself Portuguese. Todd tells Dawson that his mind is clearly playing tricks on him and tells him to take the night off and relax for once. "Take some 'Bye Bye, Pain' juice," he suggests. Oh, Todd. I'm bathing in Bye Bye, Pain Juice, and it's not helping. Also, is there anyone watching this show who didn't figure out twenty minutes ago that Dawson is being pranked? So, along comes Natasha, dressed as a naughty Catholic schoolgirl. Which is a total shout-out to me, as that was my costume this year. Yes, I'm That Girl: the one who wears cute costumes. I know, I know. It's sort of lame. But it's really not because I have some desperate need to always look cute, I swear. It's more that Halloween is the only night of the year that I feel comfortable going out dressed like a total skank, and sometimes it's fun to look like a total skank, so I enjoy it when I can. At any rate, although my intention was to look like a skanky Naughty Schoolgirl, my costume really turned out more like Occasionally Tardy Catholic Schoolgirl Who Might Swear If She Drops A Book On Her Foot, whereas Natasha really looks actually naughty, bare midriff and all. For his part, Dawson looks stunned by her navel. He can't even move when Todd and Natasha hit the dance floor to grind inappropriately.
Liberty Hell's Kitchen. Harley is interrogating/flirting with Oliver. He puts up with it good-naturedly until Joey saunters over to tell them to break it up. "You ready to go have some fun?" she asks Harley. Harley snidely wonders what fun Joey could possibly be talking about. Joey announces that she had been planning to take Harley trick-or-treating, but that was when Joey thought Harley was five. She suggests the movies instead. Harley thinks the movies are totally lame, and says that she wants to stay at the bar and hang out with super-dreamy Oliver! Oliver looks vaguely amused, as Joey insists that Prof. Flip-Flops wouldn't want Harley to hang out in bar. Harley brats that her father doesn't care what she does. Joey rolls her eyes and informs Harley that she "could host a daytime talk show on deadbeat dads, so don't go there." Joey grabs Harley's hand and makes to drag her out of the bar. Harley rips her hand away and refuses. Finally, Oliver takes pity on Joey and suggests that they check out this haunted house he read about in the paper. He'll even go with them, he says. "Cool!" Harley chirps, giving him goo-goo eyes. "Cool," Oliver tells her, and winks. I must admit, I adore a good wink. Not one of those cheesy "hey, baby" winks, but a proper Cary Grant Catches Your Eye Across A Crowded Room And Decides To Bring You A Martini-type wink. Harley skips off, and Joey tells Oliver that he didn't have to do that. "It sucks when people butt into your business, don't it?" Oliver retorts, smiling. Oh, Oliver. You even make poor grammar look cute.