Episode Report Card Jessica: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Living Dead Girl
By Jessica | Season 6 | Episode 6 | Aired on 10.29.2002
Elsewhere at the party, Jen interrogates David. She wonders how long he and Blandy have been together. "'Together'?" David parrots. Jen speeds that she just wondered how long they've known each other. Blah blah blah. David is gay, Blandy is not, and Blandy wants Jen to be a counselor for his Help Youth Help Crisis Helpline. There was more to that scene, really, but that was the gist of it. I mean, do we really care about the backstory of elfin little gay David? He's either going to disappear within the next few episodes, or his character will be completely assassinated before the end of the season, so why bother to invest the energy? Have some more of that Bye Bye, Pain juice and don't worry your pretty little head about it.
Meanwhile, Blandy talks to Jack. He reiterates that he is not, not, not, not, not, not gay. "I'm not offended. I'm just not gay. David's gay. Me, not so much. Nope, not gay. I'm not at all homosexual. Don't have sex with men at all. Not interested in getting it on with a dude. Couldn't be less interested in kissing another guy. Don't even check them out in the shower. I like to have sex with women. Vaginal intercourse for me, all the way!" Jack says that he knows someone who will be very happy to hear that. "Who?" Blandy asks, wrinkling up his nose. "A little dense," Jack says, almost to himself, like he's recording his impression of Blandy into a wire in his collar. He explains, slowly and with little words, that Jen, his "cute little traveling companion," likes Blandy. She likes him likes him. "Well, that's nice to hear," Blandy says noncommittally. Then he admits that he's not into Jen at all. She's cool and all, he says, but he's not looking for a relationship right now, and Jen's also not his type. Jack makes a disappointed face. Stupid Blandy. Poor Jen. Will she never find happiness in the arms of a man? Or a woman? Or, you know, alone and reveling in her own personal happiness as a single woman?
Outside the movie theatre, Oliver gives some adorable little trick-or-treaters directions to the haunted house. Eventually, Joey arrives, Harley in tow. "You gave us quite a scare tonight, young lady," Oliver says. Joey directs him not to "be cute" with Harley, because Harley doesn't deserve it. Harley brats that they'll be rid of her soon enough, and Joey can then "go back to [her] miserable existence." Joey tells Oliver to scram so she can have a little chat with Harley. He scampers off obediently. Yes, it's time for Joey to play the Bad Dad card. And if that doesn't work, she's got the Dead Mom card in her back pocket. That one never loses. Anyway, Joey tells Harley that Flip-Flops's behavior doesn't mean he's a bad dad, and it doesn't mean that he doesn't love her. "No, it just means he's a dick," Harley says. Charming. She wonders if Joey even likes Flip-Flops, because she can't see how anyone could possibly like him. "He's very abrasive," she points out. Joey admits that this is true, but…she can't think of a nice adjective to quantify this. Harley moans that every time she visits her father, she tricks herself into believing that he'll be different, but he never is. "It's just different shades of the same," she says. Joey looks sympathetic. No one cares! I couldn't make myself care about this plot if Flip-Flops was being played by George Clooney -- okay, that's a lie.