Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT ...And Wash Away The Rain
By Jacob Clifton | Season 1 | Episode 3 | Aired on 04.01.1999
John's like, "If by spy you mean shank! Why doesn't anybody ever listen to me? And also, they're not doing research, they are doing Bad Science, and D'Argo's in on it!" Aeryn goes all Solution = Rifle and offers to beat them up, and John points out that D'Argo is currently smoking Ilanic jock. Zhaan suggests that they split the three of them up and talk to Verell alone -- and now Pilot interrupts. These people and their conversations. "Zhaan...I thought you'd want to know, the phase imbalance in Moya's converters is getting worse." Of course it is. But Aeryn, still high on smartness, is adorable: "If there is a problem with Moya, perhaps D'Argo would be helpful in tracking it down?" Zhaan calls him to command, working as smoothly with Aeryn as usual, and he comms in that he'll meet them there. John predicts that "one of the noodle heads" is going to come with D'Argo and talk about how the phase imbalance is totally insignificant, and Aeryn confirms that at least one of them will stay with the shuttle, because of the super-secret fake research. "That would be Verell," says John. A scientist. "He's not gonna leave his work, watch."
D'Argo and Matala are in a cargo hold somewhere between Verell and command, and Matala's all about how the imbalance can't be significant and they are a bunch of babies. John hides behind some crates and listens. (Bad idea, but only because the sexual mirroring between himself and D'Argo means that nine times out of ten, he's going to end up accidentally seeing D'Argo getting off, and then have a fight with Aeryn.) D asks Matala why they can't tell the whole of Moya about the phase imbalance being totally okay, and Matala says they'd just pry into the fake research. "The Scorvians are devious, but I can assure you that no one aboard this ship is a Scorvian spy," D'Argo promises. Oh, D'Argo. She shoves him against the wall all sexy-like, and asks him to join the Ilanic fight. He tells her it's not that simple, and she grabs him by the tenka and starts yanking on it, which causes him to go slightly off. "Is it because of your crimes? Verell told me. He and I have no secrets." D's like, "Nobody on this ship, including Verell, knows my real crime." And you're like, "What?" And Matala's all, "No problem, because that's the Luxans' issue, and then she grabs him by the mivonks for real and tells him "war does not recognize multiple loyalties," and then she goes for a little handjob. "There is only them...and usssss." She's about to start in for real on the job at hand, and Zhaan calls for him again. "We should gooooo." D'Argo's like, "Rassinfrassin fuck it." Poor D'Argo. Poor D'Argo's dick. They head out.