Episode Report Card Sars: D+ | 2 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Boyfriend
By Sars | Season 1 | Episode 8 | Aired on 03.09.1998
On the beach, Jen continues to apologize for the way she handled things, but Billy showed up, "and my judgment just flew right out the window -- I mean, I cut class, I --" and before she can finish, Billy himself appears on her other side and says, "You’re too hard on yourself." Dawson gets his back up: "What’s he doing here? I thought you told him to go!" Jen, bowled over by a nostril, struggles to regain her footing, saying, "I did, I, I swear to God, I told you --" and Billy cuts her off by remarking that he took the liberty of "reading between the lines," and Dawson demands, "What are you talking about?" Billy, not bothering to hide how much he enjoys tormenting Dawson, tells him that Jen’s goodbye kiss felt like "a little more kiss and a little less goodbye," and Dawson explodes at Jen, "Wha -- you kissed him?" Jen, flustered, repeats "it was a goodbye kiss" several times, at which point Billy says, "All right -- if that’s all it was, then I will take my leave right now, but you tell me, Jenny. Tell me all that kiss said was ‘goodbye.’" Jen squirms. Dawson stares at Jen.
Joey, drunk and dancing. Pacey warning her to "pace" herself with the drinks. Joey slurring, "I know I don’t say it enough, but you’re a really terrific friend." Pacey making okay-we’ve-gotta-get-you-home motions; Fabio coming up and asking, "Is this guy bothering you, Chloe?" Joey guzzling another drink. Pacey pointing out, "Okay, first, her name’s not ‘Chloe,’ it’s ‘Joey,’ and second, no, I’m not hitting on her, I’m just her friend, God knows," and yanking the cup from between Joey’s lips and out of her hand. Fabio thanking Pacey "for the info" and saying, "We’ll catch you later," then grabbing Joey’s hand and leering, "Come on, let’s go for a walk." Sars hoping fervently that Joey will barf somewhere other than into her hand.
Dawson orders Jen to tell Billy "that kiss meant nothing." Jen wiggles out of that by calling the whole debacle "such a confusing situation," and a fuming Dawson wonders how it got so confusing that she can’t "answer a simple question," and Billy says, "You know what, she did answer the question, I just think you happen not to like the answer," and I have to agree with Billy. Furthermore, gratifying though I usually find any humiliation of Dawson, I think he’s put up with more than enough of Jen’s waffling. Dawson tells Billy to "stay out of this" and that it "doesn’t concern" him, and Billy says he disagrees: "Not only does this concern me, it concerns me gravely." Jen shifts nervously from foot to foot and looks back and forth at Dawson and Billy as Billy goes on, "So if there was [sic] a third [sic] and expendable wheel in this scenario, it would be you," and for the last time, writers, the expression is "FIFTH wheel," because while one might occasionally need or benefit from the presence of a THIRD wheel, one NEVER needs a FIFTH wheel, which gives the expression "FIFTH wheel" MEANING in the FIRST place, so please, I beg of you, buy a style manual and LEARN CORRECT ENGLISH USAGE. Anyhow. Billy says, "See, Jen and I go way back. She was with me long before she ever even entered into your fantasies," and an infuriated Dawson falls back on his favorite ammunition, the cheap shot: "You and everyone else." Billy makes a "wow" face and looks for Jen’s reaction, and Dawson realizes his misstep too late and cringes as Jen lines up the tee shot: "You know, Dawson, I may have made some mistakes, but at least I don’t live in a fantasy world where everyone is pure and innocent." Dawson talks right over her, saying he doesn’t want to trade insults, he just wants to know where he stands, and he asks her to choose between him and Billy, and as Billy sort of shrugs at her, Dawson whines, "Jen, who’s the third [sic] wheel in this scenario?" To her credit, Jen chokes, "I think I am," and she walks away as Billy and Dawson both call after her. Dawson snarls at Billy, "Are you happy now?" and Billy says, "Actually, not too bad -- you?" Billy has his moments, I must say. Dawson stomps off.