Episode Report Card Sars: D+ | 2 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Boyfriend
By Sars | Season 1 | Episode 8 | Aired on 03.09.1998
A few shots of the marina, then a cut to Grams’s lawn. Jen explains to Billy, "Being here has been good for me," and adds that she doesn’t want to seem rude but she has to ask him to leave. Billy gives her an "are you kidding me" look, but says okay, except that "I’m way too beat to make this ride [sic] tonight," and he doesn’t have any cash for a hotel either. Billy asks her to find him a place to crash for the night and he’ll leave in the morning; just then, Dawson looms up behind Jen, glowers at Billy, and asks curtly, "Is everything okay?" Jen, whose hair evidently got styled with static electricity and a fork, stammers again. Billy extends his hand and introduces himself; Dawson shakes Billy’s hand without speaking as Jen describes Billy as "an old friend from New York." Well, she got the "old" part right, anyway. Jen asks to speak to Dawson privately for a minute and steers him away from Billy, who watches Dawson with a look of contemptuous amusement. Jen murmurs to Dawson that Billy needs a place to stay for the night and asks if maybe he could stay with Dawson, and Dawson jams the nostril throttle into overdrive and splutters, "Stay with me for the night? Jen, I don’t even know him, I just met him, he’s a complete stranger to me, I don’t know anything about him!" I think we get it, Dawson, but thanks for saying it four different ways just in case. Jen says placatingly, "Okay, well, what do you want to know?" Billy literally laughs at Dawson in the background; Dawson doesn’t know where to start, but decides to ask territorially, "Is he really just a friend or is he something more than that?" Jen, on the defensive: "Dawson, first of all, I’ve already told you about Billy." She gives him a meaningful look. Dawson furrows his brow and asks, "Is he the guy? Whuh -- he’s Mr. Got Caught Doing It In Your Parents’ Bed, isn’t he?" and he nearly starts to cry as Jen explains, "Look, it’s, it’s completely over between Billy and I [sic], and I told him everything about us, and that I’m with you now." Dawson sulks as she goes on, "But he is still my friend, and only my friend, and I’d really appreciate it if you could give him a place to crash for the night. Believe me, Dawson -- anything Billy ever meant to me, you now mean ten times that." Well, in terms of head size, at least.
Billy grabs his duffel bag from the car; Dawson weighs Jen’s presumptuous request, but Billy thanks him before Dawson even says yes, hands Dawson his bag (heh), and heads towards the No-Fault Hacienda, and Jen thanks Dawson too and tries to kiss him on the cheek, but he yanks away from her and storms off behind Billy, and he practically throws Billy’s bag at him as Jen puts a hand to her forehead. I can’t believe Dawson agreed to this arrangement, I can’t believe Jen had the cheek to suggest it, I can’t believe for one second that the writers expected us to buy it, and I can’t believe that the anvil hasn’t showed up yet.