Episode Report Card Jessica: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Clean And Sober
By Jessica | Season 6 | Episode 14 | Aired on 02.04.2003
Chung-CHUNG across the country to California and Audrey's rehab center, which I'm just going to call Promises, since she already made the de rigueur Ben Affleck crack. Dawson walks into the rehab center, where he's greeted by the receptionist with a cheery, "How can you help yourself today?" Dawson tells her that he's there to see a patient. At this, Audrey comes bounding into the lobby. "You are a sight for sober eyes!" she crows, as they hug. She pulls back and admits that she was scared he'd think her message was "a joke." Dawson smiles crookedly at her. "It sounded a little too desperate to be a joke," he says. Audrey nods and thanks him for not "flaking" on her. "Because I kinda would have deserved that," she says. Dawson just smiles. You know, these two have fairly decent chemistry. I don't think I'd want to take my own life if they ended up getting together. I reserve the right to rescind that comment at any time. "For the love of Joey Potter, please tell me you brought me something to read," Audrey whines. "A Jane magazine -- hell, I'd even settle for Martha, anything." Okay, that's the second mention of Jane in two weeks. Is Katie Holmes on the cover of Jane this month or something? Dawson shrugs, empty-handed. Audrey tells him that she's been reading The Bible, "out of desperation." She asks Dawson if he knows that "people steal a lot of things from the Bible." Dawson makes a noncommittal noise. I have this mental image of how a Dawson/Audrey relationship would play out, and it involves a lot talking about oneself and not listening to anything the other person says whatsoever.
Dawson and Audrey walk through the grounds. Audrey tells him that she's been smoking a lot, and then starts blathering and yammering and squealing about rehab and I just can't take it, so I zone out. How did Audrey go from being so likable last season to being such a pain in this ass this year? I assume Satan is somehow involved. Finally, she asks after Dawson's well-being. He tells her that he's been okay. He's living in Todd's guesthouse, he says. I guess that's what the kids are calling it these days. Living with Todd, Dawson groans, "has been its own kind of sobriety nightmare." If you know what he means. And I think you do. (Actually, I'm not even sure what he means. But I'm just assuming it's dirty, for my own amusement.) Apparently, The Worst Movie Ever Made is going straight to video, which Dawson assumes spells the end of all his hopes and dreams of being a director. "Yeah," Audrey drawls. " I'm in rehab, Dawson. Did you really not bring me any magazines?" Dawson laughs, and starts to tell her that, yes, she wins the Shitty Life Lottery, but he gets distracted by a woman fighting with the soda machine. "Do you know who that is?" he asks Audrey. Audrey shrugs that she's "the broad" who won all of Audrey's cigarettes at last night's poker game. Dawson tells her that it's "Toni Stark," who's some wunderkind producer, or something. Whatever. Dawson starts talking about movies and I have a relapse of my sleep apnea. Anyway, he wonders if he can talk to Toni, but worries that she might be mean to him; she's got a reputation for eating people for breakfast. Also, he'd be making the enormous faux pas of attempting to network with someone in rehab. Audrey points out that he only knows about this woman's drunken reputation. Sober, she might be nice. "And what about ME?" she asks. "Don't you want to talk to ME? Me, me, me, me, me, me me? Me! Me. Me?" Dawson looks at her. "You know, you're right," he says. "Let's work through what got you here in the first place." Audrey wrinkles her nose. "Nah. Let's stalk the burnout," she says. They run off.