Episode Report Card Jessica: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Clean And Sober
By Jessica | Season 6 | Episode 14 | Aired on 02.04.2003
After the credits, we open at Pacey's apartment, where the Best Buy guy is delivering that beautiful, beautiful television. Jack, Jen, and Pacey watch as the guy sets it up. Jack breathes that he's going to pray to the television every single night. Jen twists her face up disapprovingly. "It's a box. It's a big box, Jack. Since when have you shown an interest in big boxes?" Oh, slid one past the censors! Well played, writers. Well played. Jen continues, informing them that a huge, giant, flat-screen television won't bring them happiness. She's wrong, by the way. A huge flat-screen TV would bring me an enormous amount of happiness right about now. "Oh, I beg to differ. See, David's here right now, to check out the TV," Jack says, as TGED enters the room. "Oh, so you think you're going to get lucky because of the television?" Jen asks. No wonder Jen has so many problems with boys. In my experience, when one's beloved purchases an enormous and beautiful television, one is often so pleased that one puts out right there on the spot. Jack and TGED hug. "Holy big screen, Batman!" TGED yelps. "You were right. It is beautiful." Jen takes this opportunity to yap about how the TV is big enough to, like, block the sun and alter the alignment of the planets. "Spare me the manifesto, Jen. The quality of life just went up ten points around here," Pacey finally says. "Would you just give the old girl a chance? She will impress you with her skills." Jen rolls her eyes as Pacey runs his hands over the TV like a lover. "Love the TV. Touch the TV," he chants. Jen finally just chuckles and says she has to go, but she'll be back for the party. She mentions that she's bringing Blandy as her date. "[Blandy]. The guy from the concert?" Pacey asks. Jen's all, yeah. "The guy whose face you introduced to a brick wall," she clarifies, asking Pacey to please refrain from punching him again. Pacey swears he won't hit anyone. Jen thanks him and promises to come back with Blandy and ice. "Ice, which is for drinks. Not for broken boys' faces," she clarifies.
She's leaving as Emma enters with a scuzzy guy in tow. She stops short when she sees the television. "What in the Queen's name is that?" she asks in her horrible accent, and then announces that she hates the television. She hates the television? Why, Emma? Why? "She's an oversize hag who's taking up my practice space," she bitches to Pacey. Pacey affects a hurt expression. "Don't talk about Bertha like that," he says. Who are these people? Everyone I know would see a television of that size and immediately start drooling and speaking in tongues. "What in the Queen's name is that?" Jack asks, nodding at Emma's skeevy companion. "That's Gus. My fiancé," Emma announces. Everyone makes horrified faces as Gus burps loudly. TGED looks especially appalled. You know, I was watching a rerun of Felicity on WE the other day (shut up. I'm unemployed. It's a good show), and who was an extra in Felicity and Knoll's art class? TGED. He was sitting right behind Keri Russell. For some reason, that really amused me. Anyway.