Episode Report Card Jessica: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Clean And Sober
By Jessica | Season 6 | Episode 14 | Aired on 02.04.2003
This cues up The Delightful Drunken Party Montage, which gets points for using the Donnas as background music. Everyone drinks merrily and laughs and laughs and laughs!
Jack and Emma sit on the sofa. Her unpleasant fiancé sits on Emma's other side and stares into the distance. Jack asks her when she stopped going to school. She's clearly putting on a brave face as she tells him that she quit at the end of the semester. "The band's really taking off and I just couldn't keep up. When am I going to need to know the origin of the baroque period, anyway?" she asks. "Totally," Gus groans, next to her. Emma, you moron. Surely you knew that quitting school would invalidate your student visa. I'd feel sorry for you, except for the part where this muddle you've found yourself in is entirely of your own doing. Jack leans over and asks Gus if he's in school. "No need. I'm going to be a roadie for the little lady," Gus announces. Emma laughs uncomfortably and tells Jack that Gus is actually "a brilliant pianist." Gus, however, is very busy playing with a wad of gum stuck to the bottom of his shoe. "Wicked," he breathes. Jack looks vaguely nauseated and asks Emma if she's really thought this marriage thing through. "No offense, Gus," he adds, and tells Emma that she seems to be moving very quickly. Emma tells him that that is the point. Her visa's run out. In order to stay in the country, she has to "marry some Yankee bastard." What a romantic notion. She points out that Gus has been really very agreeable about the entire thing. "Haven't you, Gus?" she asks. "Right on, baby mama," he drawls, and winks. Heh.
Emma shudders and stands, asking if anyone wants anything. Gus wants a beer. And chips. And a sandwich. And then he slaps her on the ass. Emma stomps off, and Jack reminds Gus that marriage is a big sacrifice. Gus shrugs that Emma is giving him free food and board and meals and also letting him bang other chicks. "Whatever, man, she's got a nice rack," he finishes up, as Emma comes back, sandwich in hand. She asks cheerfully if they're getting to know each other. "Yeah, your old man's cool," Gus says. "Doesn't even seem all that gay." At this, Jack just bites his tongue. To keep from yelling, "That's absolutely correct!"
Rehab, as if anyone even cares. So, anyway, Audrey drags Dawson into this group therapy session, where she pretends to be a Southern woman married to Dawson -- her cousin -- and blah blah blah, in the course of pretending to be sorry for all of her fictional wrongs and misdeeds, she actually has a legitimate breakthrough and throughout it all, Dawson is Mr. Supportive and Mr. Unconditional Friendship and all I Love You Even If You Did Drive A Car Through My House and yadda yadda yadda, let's get back to Joey and Pacey.