Episode Report Card Deborah: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Are You There, God? It's Me, Joan
By Deborah | Season 1 | Episode 18 | Aired on 03.11.2004
Will's bitching at someone through the intercom: "I don't know if we're in the north or the west elevator! We're in the one that hasn't moved in two hours!" Okay, aren't most elevators required to have some kind of label or certificate noting their location? Wouldn't he, as a cop, have a pretty good idea about things like that? Wouldn't Dick, who's worked in this building long enough to have (allegedly) embezzled $500K, know the answer to that? So many questions. The woman howls again, and Dick remarks, "If she's breech or pre-eclampsia, we don't have the proper equipment." Thanks, Marcus Welby. Toni's had about enough: "What, so now Mr. IT is Mr. OB?" He says he's just been through it, since all three of his kids were home births: "We, you know, found it more holistic. Hospitals can be…" Will: "Yeah, we get it." Dick: "Ignore me if you want. That's fine. But if it were me, I'd be checking out those cleaning supplies for something sterile, laying down my coat…but that's just me…" The woman says she needs to get out of there.
Luke is sitting at the dining room table, weary with sickness, as Joan sets out plates and dishes. She wonders where their father is, since it's almost seven. Kevin wheels in and says, "Man! Smells good! Too bad I have to go…" Joan: "You're telling me this now?" Kevin: "I'm sorry, I didn't know you were going to do a whole Mom thing." Joan: "Well, neither did I." Luke whines, "I just want my lab notebook." Kevin: "Dude. Less pathetic." Joan says she'll get his notebook as soon as their father gets home. Kevin: "Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you. He called. He said he was…stuck in an elevator?" Joan's all "whuh?" but Kevin just leaves without further explanation, as Joan complains that she has to go and she can't just leave Luke there. She angrily spoons a wodge of mashed potatoes onto a plate and dumps it in front of Luke: "Eat!" She adds something about "an end to your misery," but I can't quite make out what she says. Her cell phone rings, and she answers it: "Now what?" She tells her caller she can barely hear him as Luke tugs feebly at her elbow, asking, "Is it Grace?" Joan: "Adam! I'm so sorry! I got held up!" She rushes into the kitchen, explaining about her father being delayed as Luke pleads, "Notebook?" She continues, "And my stupid brother is sick…" Luke: "Heard that." She's putting detergent in the dishwasher and promising that she'll be there as soon as she can: "Listen, I can explain, please don't hang up the --" I guess he did hang up. Joan closes her phone, looks up, and says quietly, "Are you there, God? It's me, Joan. And you suck!" Heh. I was wondering when they were going to bring the Judy Blume. She starts the dishwasher, and all the power goes out. Joan laughs mirthlessly and slaps her forehead.
Kevin's in an examining room, wearing a hospital gown and trying to maintain some degree of dignity. His thighs are being examined by someone -- the second bald medical professional of the day. Kevin says Dr. Hughes told him to thank this guy for squeezing him in so late. Baldy #2 (hey, give characters names, damn it, or I'm forced to resort to stuff like this) says, "Always happy to help out a fellow working man." Kevin asks if he's ever done this procedure on paralyzed people. Baldy #2: "A few million times." Kevin: "You, uh…ever see anybody get some of their feeling back?" Baldy #2: "You mean neural regeneration? Not much, no." Kevin: "But you've seen it?" Baldy #2 answers thoughtfully and carefully: "Mostly what I see is people sticking to their rehab, increasing strength and flexibility…" Kevin: "Yeah, yeah. I -- I know all that. But I read this thing where, if you get some sensation back, there's, like, a possibility, not a big one, but --" Baldy #2: "You know what? You should probably talk to Dr. Hughes. Your results will be in tomorrow." Kevin nods. Oy. I was really hoping they wouldn't go with the "Kevin miraculously regains his ability to walk" plot. It's just so unrealistic. I really hope that's not where this is going. Didn't Barbara Hall promise in an interview that that wasn't going to happen?