Episode Report Card Deborah: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Are You There, God? It's Me, Joan
By Deborah | Season 1 | Episode 18 | Aired on 03.11.2004
Joan gets back to school and is accosted by Grace and Adam, who want to know where she's been, because they're supposed to be studying in five minutes. Joan: "What, you think this is news to me? I have to get my brother's assignments. He's got some kind of swine flu. Can't we just study tonight?" Grace: "No way! I have a…family thing." To Joan's puzzled look, Grace quickly says, "Leave it alone." Adam reminds her about his art show, too. Joan puts her hands to her head: "Oh, God, that's right!" Adam: "But if you're too busy…" Joan assures him that she will definitely be there: "And we are definitely studying for the exam. I just need, like, an hour to deal with everybody else's needs." Grace: "I'm familiar with the phenomenon." Joan starts to take off and then rushes back, saying she has to get Luke's notebook back. Grace says they haven't even looked at it yet. Joan asks her to make copies of the notes and she'll meet them in an hour. Couldn't they just rip out the essay he needs? Or copy that? As Joan hustles off, Grace calls out, "Don't flake out!" Joan yells back, "Got it!"
The pregnant woman is now sitting on the floor of the elevator, panting, as Toni pats her hand and tries to help her relax. Will's shouting on a cell phone, explaining their situation to someone. Dick comments, "Not one service provider can get you decent reception in an elevator. It's criminal." He should be starting with the "Can you hear me now?" jokes any minute. Will advises him, "You have the right to remain silent. Use it." He tells Toni he thinks the person he called might have heard something. Will asks Toni: "Is she close? Can you tell?" Toni: "I'm not the one with three kids." Will makes it clear he wasn't exactly actively involved in the delivery room: "I can't stand seeing my wife in pain." Yeah. There's a worthy excuse. And when you get kidney stones, I hope you'll understand when Helen makes the same excuse. The woman howls in pain, and Will says, "That seems wrong. Is that wrong?" Toni assures the woman that they're getting out of there. Dick says he thinks the kid's coming first, since her contractions are pretty close together. Everyone looks at him like, "How would you know, dumbass?"
Joan's working on making the meatloaf when Luke wanders into the kitchen. Joan pours some hot water into a cup and says, "Here's your disgusting lemon flu. Just don't drive or operate heavy machinery. Do you know where Mom put the breadcrumbs?" Luke: "Why am I here?" Joan snaps, "Luke! Focus! Breadcrumbs!" Luke: "Are you hot? Is it hot in here?" She tells him to go back to bed. Luke: "Can't. Too tired. There was something I was supposed to get from you." Joan: "I already got your medicine, and your stupid assignments -- which took forever, by the way. I had to skip my own study group to make this stupid meatloaf…" Luke: "Notebook! You get the notebook from Grace?" Joan makes an "oh, crap" face and turns to Luke: "Okay, um, remember the part where I said I had to skip my study group?" Luke fusses, "No, no, no, no, no, no! Notebook…only hope…space camp…" Joan asks him to stop talking in fragments: "I will get your notebook back. Just drink your flu stuff." She phones Grace's cell and leaves a message about Luke's notebook, and asks her to call right away. She pleads with Grace not to be mad at her. Joan hangs up and beams at Luke: "See? Nothing to worry about." We cut to Grace's phone, peeping away in the dairy case at the convenience store, where she left it.