Episode Report Card Deborah: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Are You There, God? It's Me, Joan
By Deborah | Season 1 | Episode 18 | Aired on 03.11.2004
Helen's picking up all kinds of broken shards in her empty classroom when Joan arrives, wondering, "You're not packing up, are you?" Helen says she's just cleaning. Joan says she heard a rumour that she was going to quit: "I mean, I wouldn't blame you after yesterday." Helen says she's not quitting, and apologizes for being so hard on Joan the night before: "I know you were just trying to help." Joan doesn't say anything, but pulls out Archie. She offers it to her mother, saying, "Here. You can use it if you want to." Helen refuses, saying it's Joan's. Joan: "Well, what do I do, just smash it, or…?" Helen tells her to put on safety goggles, and to try not to make the pieces too small, and to be careful of her fingers. Joan cops a tude: "Mom!" Hey, listen, girlie, you sprained an ankle in a washing machine. You need all the guidance you can get. Joan gets ready to smash Archie. She's only slightly more ept with the hammer than Denise. She's hesitant at first but then gets into it. Frink intones, "'Smashing her turtle, Joan becomes a woman.'"
After Archie's pretty well hammered, Joan confesses that she thinks she failed her chemistry exam. Helen's blasé: "Oh, that's too bad." Joan: "That's all you're gonna say?" She whacks Archie again. Helen: "Well, one of the nice things about you getting older is you're getting better at punishing yourself." Joan gives Archie one last whack and then asks, "How's that?" Helen says it's pretty good, and then admits, "One of the reasons that I have been so cranky lately is that I haven't been getting any sleep. I'm just so terrified about teaching, I just keep going over and over what I'm going to say till three in the morning." Joan: "I always thought that once you're an adult, you just sort of wake up with all the answers." Helen thinks that would be nice, but informs her, "There's hardly ever any answers, just more questions." There's a shot of the chunks of Archie stuck artlessly in plaster. Joan: "Cool." I think she's talking about Archie, not the nature of adulthood. Helen takes the box away to dry and tells Joan, "Hey, I tried some of that meatloaf -- you did something to the garlic?" Joan: "Oh, I roasted it first." Helen gets a weird expression on her face. Joan: "Was it -- was it bad?" Helen: "No, it was really good." She wants to know where Joan learned to do that. Joan smiles: "I saw it on Iron Chef. So, it was -- it was good?" Helen nods. So Joan does watch TV -- Iron Chef, at least. Not much information there about laundry or bat mitzvahs (the plural is "mitzvoth," I think) though.