Episode Report Card Strega: B- | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT You Know, For Kids
By Strega | Season 2 | Episode 4 | Aired on 04.06.2000
Crichton leads T'raltixx down the corridor and waves two fingers up over his shoulder. T'raltixx immediately says, "Two fingers," and explains that he has an "internal radar" and can sense motion. To prove the point, he steps over a DRD that has paused on the floor in front of him. Crichton asks T'raltixx to wait for a minute, and pops back into the cargo bay, where Chiana is sitting at the table in front of a pile of crackers. He asks what she's doing, and Chiana says, "I'm having sex with three Hynerian donkeys. What does it look like?" Crichton asks why she didn't join them on Command to look at the pulsars, and she pretends to be world-weary and assures him that the light won't affect her. She crunches some more crackers, and Crichton tensely asks if she's saving any for the rest of the crew. With her mouth full, Chiana says, "Oh woh duhs poey mooo," which means, "Oh, well, there's plenty more." As Crichton exits, D'Argo arrives. and they give each other a weird look before Crichton twirls his way back to T'raltixx. Chiana tells D'Argo, "He thinks I'm stealing food!" D'Argo takes in the pile of crackers on the table and asks, "Are you?" Heh. I think Chiana should be offended -- not at the accusation of stealing, but at the idea that she's such a bad thief that she'd sit in plain sight and eat the stolen food right where she found it. Chiana says no, and then adds, "We've gotta talk."
Crichton continues leading T'raltixx through the ship. Apparently, they're having some trouble finding suitable accommodations, because the engine noise bothers T'raltixx. As they pass Rygel's quarters, Rygel aggressively says that T'raltixx can't stay in his room. Not that anyone asked. Crichton points out, "All his senses are heightened, including his nose. You might kill him without intending to." They start to move on, but then Crichton pops back to quietly tell Rygel, "Chiana's eating all the food." As he leads T'raltixx on, Crichton mentions, "[Rygel] eats and craps his body weight twice a day." Thanks for sharing, Crichton. It would be funny to find out that his time on Moya had actually improved Crichton's conversational skills. Like if DK turned up and was all, "Jeez, dude, you've gotten all snotty and high-class. I don't even know you anymore."
Aeryn's still fiddling with the beacon when a hologram of Scorpius springs out like a Jack-in-the-Box. Which would be a pretty awesome toy if you want to traumatize some kids, actually. The message itself seems to be stuck, since Scorpius just says "Reward for the capture of John Crichton" a few times. Aeryn tries thumping the beacon, and the hologram vanishes. Zhaan strolls over and asks what's up. Aeryn explains that there's a glitch in the message, and that she's looking for more data. Zhaan asks, "Like what?," and Aeryn replies, "Like, I don't know, like why don't you leave me alone and go and sit in the sun?" Zhaan smiles in a pissed-off way and wonders if maybe there's a message from Scorpius offering Aeryn a pardon if she'll turn the others in. Aeryn snaps, "Do you have to be so frelling annoying? I'm trying to work here." Crichton's voice comes over the comm, asking where Zhaan is. Zhaan calls, "I'm up in the maintenance bay, John, about to have a fight with Aeryn." Aeryn chuckles fakely. Crichton reminds them about the pulsars, and Zhaan says, "That's right. [T'raltixx] said that it affected lesser species. That might explain her behavior." Aeryn rolls her eyes, and Crichton tells Zhaan to come handle T'raltixx: "You brought his fuzzy ass on board, and he's driving me nuts." Zhaan catches a note of impending craziness in Crichton's voice, and asks if he's all right. Crichton grrs, "I'm fine. Just get your big, blue butt down here!"