Episode Report Card Strega: B- | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT You Know, For Kids
By Strega | Season 2 | Episode 4 | Aired on 04.06.2000
Meanwhile, Pilot is running down to a weary Crichton what he sees as the defects in the human species. Pilot admits, "I'm only judging based on my experience with you." Pilot, we don't all have crazy hair: honest. Crichton asks if Pilot's run a scan on the pulsar light. Pilot asks, "How do humans make it through a cycle -- even half a cycle -- without killing each other?" Crichton grunts, "We find it difficult," and asks again about the scan. Pilot, undeterred, notes, "You're not particularly smart, can hardly smell, can barely see, and you're not even vaguely physically or spiritually imposing." He asks if there's anything humans do well, and Crichton suggests, "Watch football." Pilot says that nobody trusts him, although sometimes the others pity him for his incompetence. Heh. Crichton starts to climb up onto Pilot's console and fiddle with it in an attempt to run the scan himself. Pilot starts flapping at him and grumbling, "Don't touch my console!" They start playing patty-cake and yelling at each other until something on the console goes kerblooey, tossing Crichton onto the floor. Pilot sighs, "I warned you." Crichton hops to his feet wearing Confused Expression #17, and asks Pilot what's wrong. So, doing violence to Crichton kind of wakes him up. Only on this show can you actually beat some sense into people. Pilot insists that he's fine, and Crichton confirms that the pulsar light doesn't reach into Pilot's hidey-hole: "You can't actually see the light. So why are you being affected by it?" Pilot snaps that it isn't affecting him. Crichton yells, "I've been in the light, Zhaan's been in the light, but..." He snaps his fingers to indicate an epiphany, and marches out.
Crichton calls, "Hey guys, I think I'm on to something," and strides into the maintenance bay. Where Aeryn immediately whirls and aims her gun at him as she warns him off. Rygel's in the background, by another pile of crackers, as Aeryn explains, "We're only taking our equal share of food." Rygel urges Aeryn to shoot Crichton if he comes any closer. Crichton sighs, "Don't make me crazy, okay?" The audience screams, "Too late!" Crichton insists that he doesn't care about the crackers, but of course, Rygel does. Crichton grouses, "Food? Is that what this is all about?" The music gets all whirly again, and Crichton snaps, "Okay, then where's my ice cream?" Aeryn and Rygel are understandably perplexed, and Crichton repeats his question. Rygel says, "I have no idea what 'eyes is green' is." Crichton babbles that Rygel's playing dumb, and sings the "I scream/You scream..." ditty while Aeryn lowers her gun. Crichton goes on ranting, "Baskin Robbins, Ben and Jerry's, Good Humor..." He heads for the door and spits out, "What's your favorite, Creamsicle or Fudgsicle?" and then runs away.