Episode Report Card Strega: B- | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT You Know, For Kids
By Strega | Season 2 | Episode 4 | Aired on 04.06.2000
In Command, Aeryn shoves the big desk across the floor to block the door. She tells Rygel that she's not going to steal his food, so he needs to stay alert while she finishes blocking the door. Rygel insists that he's watching her back, and Aeryn grumbles that, with his help, she'll survive an extra 2 microts. Rygel says that he could pop back into the ducts if he wanted. Aeryn asks, "Run away, as always?" Rygel huffs, "I never run away. I strategically maneuver!" Heh. Aeryn draws her gun and takes aim at Rygel, but they're interrupted when Crichton calls the obligatory "Heeeeeeere's Johnny!," and pokes his head around the door and into the room. Aeryn tells him to go away, and Crichton ducks around to the other side of the door as she aims at him. He eyes the barricade and asks, "What's going on? Is this a French Revolution type of thing?" Aeryn keeps her gun trained on him as she tells him to keep out. Crichton admits that he might be crazy, at which Aeryn nods a little like, "Yeah, what else is new?" He insists that he's got a plan, which is also business as usual. He suggests, "We all put our guns down, lock 'em in a closet. That way nobody gets hurt." Aeryn doesn't like it. Crichton wheedles, "Honey, please?" Heh.
Aeryn fires, and Crichton ducks out of the way behind a bulkhead. Aeryn leans through the doorway and calls, "Next time you'll be a crouton, Crichton." Er. Well, she's new to the punning. Crichton calls for Pilot, who asks in a very HAL 9000 mellow way if anything's wrong. Crichton hisses that "that damn Peacekeeper bitch" has barricaded herself in Command. He asks Pilot to shut down the lights and power to Command, but Pilot says, "I'm sorry, John. I cannot do that." Aeryn interrupts, poking her head into the corridor to ask Crichton if he's having trouble. She points her gun at her own head and says that he'll only take her gun away when she's dead. Crichton snorts and gestures to his own head as he says, "Look at what you're doing!" Aeryn glances at the gun, laughs merrily, and lowers the gun. She leans back to tell Rygel, "He's absolutely right -- the power setting's too low!" She turns the dial on the gun and lunges back out the door to fire at Crichton, who ducks again. Aeryn calls, "Thank you! So much better!" Crichton shouts, "You missed! Ah ha ha ha ha!" Then he runs away. The fake triumphant laugh is my second favorite thing in this episode, I think.
Chiana has pulled the beacon out into the corridor, for some reason, and watches as the hologram of Scorpius says, "His name: John Crichton" a few times. Crichton wanders up and asks her what she's doing. Chiana starts to run away, but Crichton grabs her arms and holds her very close as he asks why she's messing with the beacon. Chiana purrs that she's not doing anything. Then she knees him in the groin, and runs off while he collapses onto the floor. Crichton moans and tells the hologram, "They don't get it, Scorpy. They don't get how crazy they are." The hologram replies, "You're right, John. They don't get it." Crichton stares up at Scorpius as the hologram continues, "They don't get how crazy they are because --" Then the hologram turns into...well, not the real Scorpius, really, and in fact it's a less real Scorpius than the hologram version, but let's just say that the actor is actually standing there in the scene now, and you can decide for yourself how the word "real" should be applied. So: Scorpius steps away from the beacon and bends down by a boggled Crichton before finishing, "-- 'cause they stole the crackers."