Episode Report Card Omar G: C+ | 1 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Goodbye Jocko
By Omar G | Season 2 | Episode 11 | Aired on 01.13.2003
Abrupt scene change. Somebody slams down a book, and we see poor, poor Ma Jocko tied to a chair, crying. "What happened to you?" she moans. "Answer the question!" PsychoJocko yells back. He lunges at her as she squirms in her chair. "What is my favorite radio station?" he screams. She whines that she doesn't know. Just tell him it's a Clear Channel station. It's gotta be. In full scenery-chewing mode, Jocko says that when he's riding with Lana in his fifteenth truck, the radio has to be on the right station. God forbid they should miss a Godsmack or Puddle of Mud song. Ma Jocko finally spits, "It's the one that plays the loud rock." Ah, yes. Well played. She says there's a sticker on one of his old school books. She starts pleading. It's very sad and disturbing, but not like, "Hey, this is cool and disturbing," like Blue Velvet. More like, "This is just sad and disturbing," like Michael Jackson and the baby dangling.
The doorbell rings. Jocko sneers mightily and goes to answer it. But first, he duct-tapes Ma Jocko's mouth. I sure hope this poor actress got paid a lot of money. And that she took a nice vacation to Cabo or Jamaica. And that she had a nice rum drink while she was there with a pink umbrella and that a guy named Umberto gave her an island massage and that she got to do some nice shopping and come back with some pretty souvenirs that she was able to give to all of her very close friends, who "ooh"ed and "ahh"ed when she threw a little dinner party after she got home to tell them about her little adventures. And I hope that when she told them what kind of scene she had to shoot on that Superman show, they all laughed and went, "My goodness! I hope they paid you well!" and that she just laughed ruefully and said that it paid for her little trip to Cabo and then she recounts how the women there went topless right on the beach! and how it was all very lovely and that they should all go next year. I hope she got paid at least that much.
Outside the door, it's windy. Clark is waiting with his back to the door, wearing the always unfashionable blue shirt/red jacket combo. Jocko closes the door behind him and says, "What do you want now, Kent?" As foreboding music plays, Clark says that they've had their differences, but before Jocko left, he thought they had "an understanding." The "don't ask/don't tell" understanding, or a different one? Clark says he's worried. "Worried about what?" Jocko says. Clark mentions Lex's post-traumatic stress doctor, but Jocko heads him off at the pass. He says that if this is Clark's way of breaking up him and Lana, it's not gonna work. Jocko says that Clark's always had a thing for Lana, and that it's one of Clark's many secrets. Clark looks down and says this has nothing to do with Lana. That's why you care so much about taking care of her boyfriend, right? Yes, folks, Superman is hella selfish. Clark says that Jocko needs help. "What I need," Jocko says menacingly, and pointing a finger, "is for you to stay out of my life." He pushes Clark with one hand and sends him flying down the porch. Jocko twitches his nose, and I notice a faint but reasonable resemblance to Elizabeth Montgomery of Bewitched. Clark moves his eyebrows around to activate his x-ray vision. Inside the house, he sees Jocko's skeleton, but what's this? He's got a skunk-tail-like green stripe running down his body. Now where have I seen that stripe before...? Hmmm...Don't tell me. Well, it's not for me to know, I guess.