Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Sponge Bath, Flare Pants
By Miss Alli | Season 7 | Episode 12 | Aired on 12.03.2003
Back to the spa. Yuck. Jon, Lill, and Darrah put on brown silk pajamas, bleh. They then walk to a lovely outdoor table, where they are able to peruse the menu. Jon suggests the chicken fingers as an appetizer. Lill suggests clams, but Jon rejects this because of all the seafood they've been eating. Of course, this would be good seafood, ass. As the waiter appears, Jon says that he'll order for Lill and Darrah. Oh, barf. He orders filet mignon for Lill, as she voices over that she "love[s] a man that takes over." I could not want to throw up any more than I do, and I am not kidding. Lill talks some more about how much she liked having the decisions taken away from her, because it's so awesome. In an interview, Jon brags about what a great date he is and how much "fine food knowledge" he has. ["Chicken fingers?" -- Wing Chun] On the heels of this, as the waiter lays down the food, there is a magnificent post-production moment of We're Not Saying Anything, We're Just Cuttin' Tape in which Jon mispronounces "bruschetta." (There's a hard "c" sound in the middle, not a soft "sh" sound.) Lill obligingly tells Jon he's smarter than she is. That may indeed be true of Jon. It may also be true of the table. And some of the food. "As Lill said, I'm much more than just a pretty face," Jon interviews. I'm not sure whether he does or doesn't know just how unappealing he really is, or has noticed how ironic and not at all cute that remark therefore is. The passive-aggressive music guy who throws in the sarcastic flourish right there, however, has noticed.
Jon, Darrah, and Lill all eat dinner. Lill, sounding drunk, tells Jon a story about being out in the water with Christa and Sandra when they vowed to boot Jon and Burton, and asked her if she'd go along. Lill interviews that they talked all about intrigue during dinner. She knows that Jon made certain promises to Christa and Sandra to secure their cooperation in getting rid of Tijuana. "I had to promise on my grandmother," Jon says. Lill acts shocked, because of course, she wouldn't want Jon to damn Dead Old Granny Fairplay to hell by swearing on her about something that wasn't true. "She'll forgive me," Jon says. That was funnier when Gerry did it on Big Brother. Or rather, it was funny when Gerry did it. Jon crows about this in an interview, sure that this was a big moment, even though it obviously has no effect on Lill and Darrah one way or the other.