Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Sponge Bath, Flare Pants
By Miss Alli | Season 7 | Episode 12 | Aired on 12.03.2003
Commercials. Yo, UPS, how you gonna play me like that?
As the winning team skims toward its reward in a boat, Jon explains that this might be the best reward ever. Lill refers to them as having won "the award." Yeah. The award for Least Blows To The Noggin Resulting In A Disorienting Concussion, there, Lill, so bask in the glory while you can. Team Granny Panties is put on a little plane to be taken to the promised spa. As they board, Darrah fantasizes about getting in a bathtub. "Let's party," Lill says unconvincingly, in a way that only reinforces my sense that the last time Lill "partied," ice cream, cake, and a clown named Bobo were involved. Lill points out their island as they fly over it, and Sandra, who can see them from the beach, waves miserably, muttering, "I wish it was me." Well, then, you shouldn't have broken your jaw on the challenge equipment, then, should you? The happiness becomes more than a little silly as we watch whales frolicking in the water under the plane, as if they are escorting it, in the style of Cinderelly's mouse friends, to the spa. Lill talks about the great view, and how she won't be forgetting it soon, and all of that nonsense. She is getting skinny, folks. Jon, meanwhile, can only talk about how big the whole Pearl Islands area turned out to be. Wow, observant. Islands are big. The plane touches down as the Survivors continue talking about how nifty the ride was.
We then arrive at their spa destination. Jon talks about how "cool" it was, as we see that Lill is still wandering around without any pants on, which it just seems is not necessary. They all let themselves into a large hotel room, decorated a little like the Howells' hut on Gilligan's Island. Lill and her panties flop down on the huge bed and drink in the luxury. Among other things, this is their first shot at looking in real big mirrors since they've been gone, and they all spend quite a bit of time checking out how skinny and weird they look. "Oh mah gosh," Darrah says, "look at mah eyebrows." Hee. Shoulda smuggled some tweezers in your sock, honeybun. Lill describes the sight of herself as "shocking." Allow me once more to posit that she might not find it so shocking if she would put on some damn pants already.
Darrah tries out the shower, and Jon takes the opportunity to chat with Lill outside. He warns her that he's planning on telling Darrah that she's going to the top three, just to "keep her from jumping," and Lill says she won't interfere. Jon is working here on slicking back his hair, so it looks like he's already had his shower. It's a shame, the way it didn't help at all. Jon interviews rather idiotically that this was the greatest reward they could have gotten, because it gave him a chance to talk to just Lill and Darrah without worrying about Sandra and Christa. Of course, he would have had the same chance without winning the reward, just as Burton currently has time with Sandra and Christa, so this really isn't the "reward" part. No that Jon would understand anything that subtle. The three spa-goers plod in their beige bathrobes toward the massage hut as Jon explains that it also gave him a chance to recover from some of the strain of the first month of competition. They are all given massages, and Lill comments that they put cucumber slices over her eyes. "I think I needed a whole cucumber to do anything for my skin," she comments, unintentionally setting up a hundred "you need a whole cucumber, but not for your skin" jokes that you can probably write for yourself.