Episode Report Card Potes: B | 1 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT Downton Shabby
By Potes | Season 18 | Episode 1 | Aired on 02.29.2012
With the Fierce Parade over, the ladies head to their new house and discover that the girls from the U.S. are all bunking in one room, and the girls from the U.K. are in another. The Americans have very little closet space, and also are apparently quite horny. There may be a correlation between the two. Alisha tells us that she thought the first night in the house would involve chatting and getting to know each other verbally. Then there's Laura's take on the evening: "SKINNYDIPPING!" Alisha tells us that she wants to be America's Next Top Model, not America's Next Top Sex Bomb. I would watch the hell out of the latter, however.
The next morning, there is Tyra Mail: "Prepare to clash cultures! Fierce and love, Tyra." How novel! A real twist! The ladies head to meet Jay Manuel in the studio, and he explains that the photo shoot will pair one girl from the U.K. and one from the U.S., with each representing an iconic figure from their respective countries. What's more, they won't be posing for a traditional photographer. This is a 3-D shoot, which involves 60 cameras shooting at the same time. They'll jump on trampolines and so will be frozen in the air in their photographs. They head to hair and makeup, and then the dueling continues. First we have Catherine and AzMarie posing as Queen Elizabeth and George Washington. AzMarie wears a gold mini-skirt and wields a telescope, just like George himself. Catherine thinks that AzMarie is strong competition, but wonders if not being able to be feminine will be her downfall. Well, in a powdered George Washington wig she does not yet have to be concerned about that.
Next, American Candace goes against Brit Annaliese as Janet Jackson versus Spice Girl Mel B. The whole thing is bland-ish, and Jay tells them that he doesn't feel the tension. Annaliese again reminds us that she's supposed to have a sparkling and memorable personality. Did you remember her? No, me neither. Next, we have U.S. Laura as Madonna, versus U.K. Alisha's Elton John. Alisha tells us that she was runner-up on her season of BNTM, and is thrilled to have this second chance. The odds seem stacked against her, however, as she is forced to wear really strange and shiny mint green pants along with a shiny purple button-down shirt. It is the least Elton John thing I've ever seen. Jay is not impressed with her performance, first telling her that she looks more "Thriller" than "Rocket Man," and then that she needs to bring her model to the table. Her jumps are so good, though! Laura, meanwhile, gets a 1984 Madonna wedding dress ensemble, and seemingly doesn't have to do much of anything at all. Jay complains that Alisha was giving him a spoof of Elton John rather than a fashion interpretation. Backstage, Alisha cries and cries, her bad wig askance on top of her pretty head. Laura thinks that Alisha needs to man up and grow up, and is actually mad that the others are consoling her. "Don't console this bitch!" It's a comment truly representative of the American Way. With that, we head to commercials.