Episode Report Card Potes: B | 1 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT Downton Shabby
By Potes | Season 18 | Episode 1 | Aired on 02.29.2012
Next we meet Annaliese, 24, from London. Apologies in advance for all the misspellings of her name. She's a model and TV/radio personality, and tells that her personality makes her memorable. If you have to tell us that your personality makes you memorable, it's probably not a good sign. And now I interrupt this recap to deliver a Fierce Flash! This just in: I have dropped a chunk of Girl Scout Cookie down my shirt! And I can't find it! But when I DO, I'm going to eat it. Girl Scout Cookies are precious resources and even the tiniest bit can't be wasted. This concludes your Fierce Flash for this recap. Annaliese tells us that America is not ready for the British invasion. She adds, "We did it once! We can do it again." She DOES realize the outcome of the Revolutionary War, right? Or maybe that news never made it across the pond and they think we're still a colony?
The girls all gather together, and then are treated to a presentation involving Miss J., Nigel, and a marching band. I can't see a marching band without wanting to listen to "Tusk," which then inevitably leads to a Stevie Nicks YouTube binge, which is frankly a really great use of five hours. But I digress. We meet Mariah, 20, who is Native American and lives on a reservation in Pendleton, Oregon (and also, apparently, North Dakota). She should REALLY have a score to settle with these Brits, no? Mariah is the first Native American contestant to appear on the show. Only 28 minutes until they dress her as Pocahontas! Miss J. then announces the British versus American gimmick, which comes as a not particularly pleasant surprise to the ladies from the U.S. Nigel says that they're going to celebrate this "historic" moment by throwing the models a Fierce Parade. You know, a Fierce Parade. Like we do here in America, on occasions such as the Fierce of July, and St. Fiercetrick's Day. At the end of the Parade, there's going to be a motherfucking walk-off. An American crowd will be in attendance, which makes British Catherine, 21 and from the impossibly named towne of Folkestone, nervous. It's welcome news, however, to 20-year old Laura, from Scotia, New York, where they still apparently sell hair crimpers. Ponder that as we head to commercials. Meanwhile, now I have to confess that I still haven't found that cookie chunk, and buried my pain about it by eating ALL of the remaining Girl Scout Cookies! I regret it only because that means I have no more Girl Scout Cookies. Fierce Flash.