Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Looking For Mr. Bitcoin
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 13 | Aired on 01.15.2012
Alicia: "This stuff makes me feel so dated! Which is a choice I am making! It's part of my persona, which I've consciously chosen in order to let myself off the hook about interacting with the world in which I live! Rotary phones and pennyfarthings! IUDs that look like shit the DaVinci albino would be into! Meat in a gelatin mold! For dinner!"
Nisa: "Uh oh, she's going into Big Chill mode. I'm going to bounce. Love you."
Zach: "Love you too."
Alicia: "...Aaaaaand I'm back."
FIRST MOTION
The Honorable... See? I already forgot.
The Hon. Peter Dunaway: "I'm kinda quirky!"
Bob Balaban: "Charmed, I'm sure. So we're saying that this unregulated currency is being used in a digital black market guaranteeing anonymity to money launderers, drug dealers, child pornographers, whoever. Whatever's awful. And so we think that Biggs should be in trouble because he's preserving Mr. Bitcoin's anonymity through the smokescreen of attorney-client privilege."
Alicia: "I don't think I would call attorney-client privilege a smokescreen, Your Honor."
Balaban: "Okay, but that's about communications with the lawyer, not the entire identity."
Alicia: "What if you were communicating about your identity?"
Balaban: "Anyway. They give up that right if they're doing crimes."
Alicia: "Which we don't know if they are yet."
Judge: "I am so damned quirky! But the privilege thing isn't going to cut it. Round One to Alicia."
IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING
Alicia: "That went well."
Biggs: "Thanks! Now I have to go deal with Occupy Wall Streeters. They're pretty much just like Mr. Bitcoin, but they don't pay as well. On the other hand, they pay me in actual money and not magical autism points."
Bob Balaban, dropping from the ceiling: "Jason Biggs, you're under arrest! For being Mr. Bitcoin!"
Alicia, verbatim: "Oh, come on!"
Balaban, same: "I am coming on!"
I loved that. Anyway, if Bitcoin is a real currency and if Jason Biggs is pretending to be his own lawyer or whatever, then the penalty for that is ten to thirty years. So I can see why the Treasury would be about that, but what I don't get is, it is a currency. You use it to buy things. Specifically things like drugs and child porn. So why not just immediately jump to that kind of testimony instead of running around hitting a bunch of people with Kalinda's sex ray and randomly making even huger messes? Ah. Credits and then Alicia explains.