Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Looking For Mr. Bitcoin
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 13 | Aired on 01.15.2012
DECODE-A-THON
Kalinda: "But surely we can trace the latest snarky embedding to the place it was time-coded or whatever the hell we're talking about."
Bao: "Yeah. Here's that IP address."
Kalinda: "That's my IP address! The call is coming from inside Lockhart, Gardner!"
Everybody: "So obviously it is Jason Biggs, right? These people. But I mean, we can at least stop looking for Mr. Bitcoin. Or until Kalinda realizes this is the unholy love child of Orient Express and Waiting For Godot and it doesn't matter. Because it absolutely does not matter."
Diane: "Kalinda, how's Will's thing going. Is he okay? I'm going to instruct you now, in very coded language, to keep me abreast of the situation."
Kalinda: "So you can cut him loose, I getcha. Protect the firm."
Diane: "No, because he's my friend? I want to help him?"
Kalinda: "Help him off a balcony, I totally hear you. Got it. You really are a piece of work, lady."
Diane: "No, I mean like..."
GARDNER
Elsbeth: "I love your office! It's decorated so beautifully. A desk, chair for people to sit in... Walls..."
Will: "Yeah. I mean, there's no giant oak tree in the middle, covered in moss..."
Elsbeth: "I'm not even going to ask where you keep your frog farm."
Will: "Anyway, we went through those three judges and came up with some shit, but here's the main one. Judge Parks, a product-tampering case that got us a cool eight mil."
Elsbeth: "Cool! How'd you manage that? Wear your socks inside-out that day? Carry a four-leaf clover in your purse?"
Will: "No, it just kinda happened. Sometimes the ball just bounces funny."
Elsbeth: "So true! I love when that happens, it just makes me laugh and laugh!"
Will: "Elsbeth, are you even lis..."
Elsbeth: "Jury trial? Bench decision. Hey, that file on the desk that says McCormick Product Tampering Case We Won For Questionable Reasons, would that have anything to do with what we're talking about? And if so, does it have problematic stuff in it? And if so, would you mind if I just..."
Swish.
Kalinda: "Do you want me to torch this thing? Break its kneecaps? Threaten to expose its mammy fetish on the witness stand?"
Will: "As much as I'd love to say yes, I don't think those things would help."
Kalinda: "What do you want me to do?"
Will: "There is literally nothing I can ask you to do."
Kalinda: "I know. Although one thing you could ask me to do is not hand this file over to the Assistant State's Attorney who is pretending to sleep with me while sleeping with our boyfriend who is also pretending to sleep with me, just to save the woman I love most in this world, with whom you also happen to be in love."
Will: "It would be pretty long odds for me to ask you to do that, yes."
Kalinda, snagging it: "Then I'm going back to the fern bar. Tell Diane sorry I forgot to save your ass or warn her!"